"Prayer Unknown"
by Aizhen Aschenhimmel
Disclaimer: Trinity Blood does not belong to me, no matter how much I adore it.
A/N: First stab at ToriBla...please bear with me :3 Also I can't get how the editing goes on here in think I'm messing the format up (sweatdrops) ConCrit very much appreciated - thank you:)
Lava me, Domine, ab iniquitate mea, et a peccato meo munda me.
Lord in heaven, forgive me for my weakness.
I know not what came into my mind at that moment.
"Sister, have you seen Esther?"
He said the name with so much tenderness. It was impossible to miss the presence of affection. Oh God, when I remember his hopeful face, his genuine care and affection, guilt gnaws me inside.
"I...I am sorry, Count of Memphis. I haven't seen Sister Esther."
A lie. I lied. I've seen her, I've seen Sister Esther - Lord God, please forgive me for lying. I've seen her in the gardens just a few moments before. I've seen her smiling, without a care in the world, so alive and full of love. I've seen her in his arms, in the red-haired priest's embrace, Father Tres, I've seen them together among the flowered branches rustling in the sunset breeze. I saw her lean her head against his chest, saw the look in her eyes as she gazed into his impassive face. It was the look of a woman in love, and God Almighty, I know - I just know, I can feel it, the depths of her feeling - that it was eternal and pure, like the love You have for Your children. And somehow...somehow, I can tell that he valued her too, that somewhere beneath that steel-cold exterior, there was emotion. Feelings. A heart for her to love and to value and to possess.
Those were their moments, their precious moments, pieces of forever to be treasured in memory. Someday, when she had faded away as was the fate of all mortal beings, he would have nothing but these memories. Oh God, I felt...I felt they were sacred. I felt that these moments should not be blemished by untimely interruptions.
But there was this young Count, this young vampire...and his face, his eyes, they had so much hope, so much love! Father in Heaven, it would be terrible for him to lose them. I believe Your mercy and goodness are for everyone, that beauty and love are for everyone, that if You blessed a machine with the warm love of a compassionate heart, a vampire could also...Father, I thought it would be unjust if I shattered those beautiful things, those things that You gave him, if I am to be made instrument for his sorrow. For their sorrow.
I lied, Almighty Father, so that...so that they may be happy in their short-lived moments and his heart would not be broken.
"Thank you, Sister."
He went away with mild sadness, the other way, away from the gardens. And in my foolishness, I prayed that he would never come back, so that he might not chance upon grief, so that he might not interrupt what was already fragile and bound to wither with the passing of time.
God, had I done the right thing?
Was it worth breaking Your laws?
Had I given them what is false - false hopes, false happiness?
Was I wrong?
I weep for them, gracious Lord, I weep for their hearts. I weep for my weakness.
Father in Heaven, I believe in Your goodness and infinite understanding of human frailty. In Your mercy, forgive my humanity.
Latin Translation: Lord, wash away my iniquity; cleanse me from my sin.