The bells tolled.
DONG.
DONG.
DONG.
DONG.
Harry woke up, stared at the rotting rafters of the dormitory, kicked off his moth-eaten blanket, rolled off his meager pile of straw that might possibly have been a bed in the Stone Age, and realized that the dormitory was empty (and that he had forgotten to wear jammies.)
I seriously need to shake things up here, he thought as he pulled a nondescript habit over his head and walked down a flight of creaky stairs towards the chapel.
It was about a half-hour into Ungodly Hour of the Morning prayers when he walked in with his habit on backwards, a toothbrush in his mouth, and a comb stuck in his hair, and sat down in the only empty seat left in the chapel.
Which, naturally, was directly in front of the abbot.
As the intense boredom of chanting in Latin set in, Harry found his mind wandering and decided to go with it.
And this is what ensued.
42 Ways to Shake Up a Monastery
Dye everyone's hair pink.
Charm mohawks onto all the monks except yourself, and tell them they're seeing things.
Proceed to go all "The Jeebalo Shofar compels you!" and throw entire buckets of holy water at people.
Go skinny dipping in the baptismal font.
Go skinny dipping in general.
Propose a water balloon fight.
Randomly have a water balloon fight…with yourself.
Pretend to be possessed.
When everyone is chanting in Latin, get up on the pew and start singing "Rockstar", with corresponding dance moves.
When everyone is chanting in Latin, get up on the pew and start singing.
Hide all the food and tell people the Blue Meanies took it.
Make love potions and give them to the nuns.
Make love potions and give them to the monks.
Start rumors that the Brother Investine in Manuscripts is having too much fun illuminating the Canterbury Tales.
Put baby acromantulas in people's bedzz-zzz-zzzzz-click.
"Brother Harrynitine? Prayers have been over for fifteen minutes." The abbot looked down at him, smiling. "Perhaps you have finally found faith, my son! Congratulations!"
"Yeah. Faith." Harry hurried out toward the infirmary, where he had hidden his old potions stuff, eager to get started on that hair dye.