I do not own Ni No Kuni.

"I'm not doing this."

"Oh, yes you are!"

"No way, absolutely no way."

"Oh, come on, it's not that bad!"

"Sorry, my answer's no."

Esther slapped her forehead with frustration and an agitated growl. "Look, we have to go there, so you have to put this on!"

Swaine waved his thin arms in front of him. "No freakin' way! I'd look ridiculous in that thing!" He pointed a long finger at the bundle of green and white fabric the girl held out to him.

The blonde still persisted. "Come on, I'm sure you won't look that ridiculous in them! Besides, I highly doubt they'd allow you to wear the clothes you have on now." As the girl gestured his attire, the man looked down at his outfit; well-worn shoes, shabby pants, a bleached shirt, and a trench coat that had not been washed for a good while.

Okay, so he looked like he just came from the streets (which was true…), but that didn't mean he had to wear what Esther had picked out for him. Oh, please anything but that!

He pinched the spot between his eyes. "Uugh, remind me again why we're doing this…"

"Well, we don't have any idea where Nazcaa is, and there's this new restaurant opening up near Castaway Cove. They're throwing a big opening party and plenty of people are going to be there. People who might know about how to get to Nazcaa or find a way there." She paced across the wooden floor with the pat, pat, pat of her slipper shoes. "Not only are we looking for advice, but almost everybody else on The Iron Wyvern is going there too; including Kublai and Khulan. There's going to be food and dancing, and the two haven't really hung out since we started to deal with the Manna…"

"So we're just going there to play cupid, eh?"

Her cheeks changed to a light pink. "W-well-and getting information about Nazcaa too!"

The man sighed. "Well, why don't you and the others go while I hang here?"

"Everybody has to help Swaine! Besides, isn't nosing around for info your specialty?"

Swaine scratched his hair-it was true that growing up on the streets had given him the unique ability to keep his ears open for info and useful gossip. But still…

It would mean he would have to wear that awful, awful outfit.

"Honestly, do I have to wear THAT godda-oof?!"

His vision suddenly went dark as something was tossed onto his face and felt somebody shoving his body backwards, into the bathroom behind him. He would have lost his balance had he not crashed into the cold wall behind him. Tugging at the soft material that had limited his eyesight, he pulled it away, revealing a shirt with green and white horizontal stripes across the chest.

Standing in the doorway was Esther, no longer holding the clothes-she had thrown them at his face and onto the floor in front of him. "There! Now quit your whining and get dressed!"

SLAM!

With that, the man was alone in the bathroom with a pile of green and white cloth at his feet and in his arms. After a moment he cursed under his breath and walked over to the door to lock it. He reluctantly took off his jacket and began to change his clothes.

"Oi, you done in there, Ollie-boy?"

"Almost, Mr. Drippy!"

After a moment, the wizard emerged from the restroom, now wearing a snappy little sailor tee with little golden buttons and white stripes on the sleeve cuffs and bottom of his pants, contrasting with the blue of the rest of the outfit. He even had a little white cap on, the kind sailors wore.

"Well, dun you just look just dapper, buntin'! Proper tidy, mun!" The fairy bounced up like a ball wearing a little red bow tie. "Come on, let's check on Prince Marcy!" The duo made their way to the other bathroom that they knew the porcine prince was in.

Oliver knocked on the iron plated door. "Prince Marcassin? Are you in there?"

"I'm over here, Oliver."

The boy turned his blue eyes around to see the royal young man in a similar outfit to his own, but with longer sleeves, no hat, and a purple color scheme along with a lilac scarf around his neck. Even in his current casual attire he was still quite a looker.

"Oi, hey Marcy! Lookin' swell in those clothes Esther picked out!"

"Thank you very much." Marcassin responded politely.

Oliver nodded, but then cocked his head to the side. "Speaking of Esther, where is she? Is she done yet?"

The prince had an odd expression on his face, crossing his arms. "Well…she's done, but she's having trouble getting Gascon out of his room…"

"Eh? You mean Swaine isn't coming out in his new duds?"

"I'm afraid so. I went over to check on them, but…I wasn't sure what to do to help."

"Well, then let's get going, mun!" Drippy jogged past the young man. "I think I've got just the thing!"

"Swaine, aren't you done yet?"

"No, and besides, the door's jammed."

"Yeah, right. So come out already!"

"Sorry, no can do."

The man heard the blonde bang her forehead against the door, frustrated. He sat on the toilet on the side opposite of the door, and yes, in the new clothes. Of course, there was no way that he would walk out in them.

"You're an idiot, you know that? Now come out of there!"

"No way."

The thin man leaned back to the wall behind him with his arms folded behind his mess of hair, waiting for his fiery friend to respond…but there was just a brief silence and some muffled whispers. Swaine raised an eyebrow at this, not sure what to make of it.

Then Esther's high-pitched voice called out. "Hey, Swaine, are you sure you're not coming out?"

"Yeah, why?"

"…I was hoping we wouldn't have to resort to this…but you leave me no choice."

"Eh? What the hell are ya' talking about?"

"I'm going to have to bomb you out!"

"…What?"

Fitt, fitt, fitt. A noise resembling the sound of a match being lighted reached the man's ears. He got up, walked over to the door, and pressed his left ear against the door to hear better. What he heard next made his brown eyes dilate.

Sssssssssssssssss…The hiss of a bomb fuse being lit.

"Is she serious? Is there actually a bomb outside this door?!"

His instincts took over his logic. Instead of reasoning that there was no way Esther could get her hands on a bomb in the first place, let alone use one in The Iron Wyvern, with nimble fingers, he unlocked the door and burst out of the bathroom.

He whipped his head around franticly, but caught no sight of any kind of explosive around. What he did see was a certain Lord High Lord of the Fairies hissing with his tongue, mimicking the sound of a bomb very effectively. And then Drippy burst out laughing.

"Hohoho, oh boy, that got you out quick, mun!"

"That was you?!"

"Yep, we had to get you out of there somehow!" Drippy pointed his lantern to the side as Swaine followed the direction with his eyes. What he saw was Oliver trying to hold back his laughter, his brother grinning, and Esther. All in their new clothes.

He saw Esther in her outfit-she wore a dark pink layered dress with deep red trims at the edges of each layer. It stopped just above her knee, showing off her calves and cardinal red sandals. She still wore her golden armlets but her hair was no longer in its braid; it was up in a semi-formal bun with a few golden strands of hair escaping and her bangs framing her face. She even wore a bit of tinted lip gloss, giving her lips a faint pink shine.

"…Oi? Oi, Swaine! Earth to Swaine, mun!"

The man blinked his way back to reality. "Huh? What?"

"You back with us, mun? You were staring at us kinda funny."

"Um, yeah I'm fine." He shook his head, sending his curly brown hair all over the place.

Drippy just shrugged his tiny shoulders. "Well, alright. Oh, nice clothes by the way." The fairy chuckled and Swaine looked down, remembering exactly what he had on his body-long green pants, a white striped short-sleeve shirt and as he scratched his hair, he felt the white cap that sat on his head.

He turned on his heels and began to walk away, saying, "I just remembered; I forgot something-I'll be right ba-"

Esther's hand clamped on his wrist, halting him in his tracks. "Oh no you don't, you're coming with us." She tugged Swaine in the opposite direction of his room. "That's a big fat lie, and you know it."

"Okay, I lied, big deal. I'm sorry, okay?" He tried to free himself from her grasp, but his other arm was suddenly in Marcassin's hands. The two then pulled Swaine with his heels helplessly screeching against the floor as he was dragged away.

"We're going to be late if we don't hurry, so we'd better get going, Gascon."

"Not you too, Marcassin! And you'd better not call me that in front of everybody at the restaurant!"

Esther turned her head and called over her shoulder, "Oliver, Drippy, are you coming?"

"Oi, you bet we are! Come on, Ollie! We dun want to be late to something as tidy as this!"

"Neato! Let's go!"

"Does anybody see Kublai or Khulan?" The blonde looked around, scanning her sapphire eyes around the room full of people and thick with a party atmosphere. The air filled with gossip and the smell of delicious sea food. She and Oliver looked for the sage and the sky pirate, but had no luck with the crowds of people blocking her view.

"No, I can't find them…"

"Oi, Ollie, Esther!" Drippy suddenly rolled in front of them and hopped around. "Marcy and I found them!" He waved his small arm for them to follow him. The tamer and the wizard carefully made their way through the crowd and followed the fairy to the outside area of the restaurant. It was a large, spacious patio with lanterns hanging on wires on the enclosing fence and high poles, suspending the ropes for the beautiful yellow lights. From there you could get a view of the lovingly hand painted sign with the curly words of "La Hidaway de Amor". The room was crowded by people of all kinds, enjoying the opening night of this tasty joint.

Including a burly sky pirate and an exotic sage. But they were at opposite ends of the outdoor enclosure.

"I can't believe it! They're not even hanging around each other!" Esther's head turned from one corner of the room to the other, shocked at the distance between the two lovers.

"Shouldn't we be more worried about finding some info 'bout Nazcaa?"

Esther turned to the gruff voice behind her, coming face to face to Swaine and Marcassin. The older man crossed his thin arms in front of his chest. "Let me guess; you guys haven't found anything yet because you're so busy playing cupid."

"W-well-isn't listening for info your job?"

"Oi, quit your quarrelin', will ya?" Drippy jumped up on Oliver's head to be at eye level at the two. "This isn't the flipping time or place to be fighting like a crikey old married couple!"

For a moment the two were quiet before Esther said "A-Anyway, we've got to get Kublai and Khulan closer somehow…"

Swaine facepalmed with annoyance. "And there she goes again…"

Tapping a finger to her chin, she formulated a plan in her mind. "...Got it! Marcassin, you go to Khulan and ask for the next dance. Oliver, make sure Kublai knows that they're dancing. Try to convince him to dance with Khulan instead. Drippy, I need you to request a romantic song to the band. Any questions?"

Swaine certainly had one. "Yeah, what do I do, play dead?"

Esther's eyes were colored with annoyance at his sarcasm. "No, just…hang tight, okay?"

"Alright, whatever."

"Okay, let's go!" The men did as they were instructed, and the fairy bounced his way across the wooden floor of the patio to the band. Esther watched as he waved his arm to get the attention of the drummer. The musician leaned down as Drippy whispered something into his ear. The musician nodded, spoke among the other band members, and they nodded their heads as well. They readied their instruments to do a warm up for a new song.

The rest of the crowd seemed to be aware of the band preparing for another song and began to make their way to the center of the patio that was empty for dancing. Unfortunately this blocked Esther's view of how her plan was unfolding.

"Huh? Hey, I can't see!" She tried to move her head around the other, taller people in front of her, but her line of sight was limited by the other people on the edge of the dance floor. "Hey, Swaine, can you see anything?"

"I think I see pretty boy and Khulan…no, wait…oh, I think they're on the dance floor."

Esther was silent for a moment before she squeezed her way through the crowd with Swaine following her the best he could.

"Hey, Esther, where ya' going?"

"There's no way I'll be able to see from back there; I'm going to have to get on the dance floor myse-whoa!" The blonde tripped over and onto the edge of the dance floor. Swaine tried to catch her from behind, but ended up losing his balance and falling right beside her.

"Ow…" The two sat up with Esther holding a hand to her forehead and Swaine rubbing his sore arm. When the duo looked up, they found Oliver, Marcassin, Khulan, and Kublai hovering over them with concern.

"Jeepers! Esther! Swaine!"

"Are the two of you alright?"

Kublai held out his muscular hands out to the couple and pulled them back to their feet. "By the skies, that was quite a fall! You maties better watch your step!"

"O-Okay." Esther looked back to the dance floor with people finding partners to dance with. She then saw Drippy jog up to his friends.

"Oi, I did what ya' told me to do, Esther! I told 'em band boys to play this real smooth tune-"He suddenly became aware that the Great Sage and the sky pirate were listening to his every word. "Oi-um, err-so you could dance!"

"Oh, uh, thank you, Drippy!"

Khulan raised an eyebrow. "You wished to dance?" Esther nodded, going along with the misunderstanding. "So, who are you going to dance with?"

"…Um, w-well-"

The fairy suddenly got a mischievous glint in his eyes. "Oi, why dun you dance with Swaine?"

Esther's eyes widened at the fairy's outburst. "W-What?!"

"Oh no," Swaine's eyes were wide at this idea as well. "It's bad enough that I'm wearing this ridiculous outfit; there's no freaking way I'm dancing-especially in this thing!"

While Oliver and Marcassin were at a loss of what to do, Kublai scratched his brown beard. "Hmm, why don't you dance with the man, lass? I bet it would be fun, hahaharr!"

"N-No, um, I changed my mind; I don't want to dance anymore."

"Hell no! I can't be seen dancing in this!"

Kublai turned them around in a half circle. They yelped with surprise as they felt Kublai's large hands pushing them from behind onto the floor.

"Hahaharr, this ought to be good!"

"What? No-wait!"

"Hey, cut that out! I don't dance!"

Kublai gave them one final push and left them out in the very middle of the floor. "Go on, have fun!" The burly man turned around, discovering Khulan being gently pushed up on the floor by Marcassin.

The prince stopped when the other Great Sage was right in front of the pirate. "Why don't the two of you join them?" He raised his eyebrows upward with hope. The couple made eye contact with each other for a moment before the pirate of the sky gave a hearty laugh.

"Hahaharr! Of course!" He held out his large hand up to the exotic woman. "Ahem…May I have this dance?"

Khulan smiled, taking the man's hand. His muscular fingers contrasted with her slender hand engloved in green. "Yes, I'd love to."

The couple turned around and saw Swaine and Esther trying to sneak away from the dance floor but had little success with Drippy jumping in their path.

"Oi, oh no you don't, you get right back out there, tidy?"

"Heck no! I don't dance! Got that through your thick skull yet?!"

"There's no way I'm dancing with him!"

"Sorry, mun, but there's no flippin' way I'm letting you stroll off of the dance floor without doing some fancy foot work out there!"

Before the man and blonde had a chance to respond, something strongly gripped the backs of their collars and pulled them backwards like a mother cat carrying her young by the scruffs of their necks.

"Ghahar! There's no need to leave the floor just yet, maties! The music hasn't even started!" Kublai dragged them back to the middle of the dance floor. Just as he released them, the band began to play a marimba tune, vibrating smoothly through the air.

"Okay you two, 'tis time to get loose and dance!"

"Are you crazy?!"

The pirate grinned. "Haharr, maybe! Break a leg, maties!" With that, he abandoned them amid the sea of dancers on the floor-and they were the only ones not moving in time with the music.

"Dammit, dammit, dammit…" Swaine growled under his breath through clenched teeth. He suddenly noticed Esther sighing and beginning to rhythmically shift her body weight back and forth. "Eh? Esther, what are you doing?"

"Dancing, what does it look like?"

Dancing. Of course. They were on the dance floor, dummy! But that meant he'd probably have to dance too. With Esther, of all people. And in his preposterous clothes.

"You do know how to dance, right?" She walked around him in time with the catchy music as she kept her sky colored eyes on him.

"W-well-sorta-I mean, it's just moving your body with the music-right?"

The blonde stopped in front of him, still nodding her body with the music. "…Try tapping your foot."

"Huh?"

"Just tap your shoe in time with the music to get you started."

"O-kay…" The man tried to move his left foot up and down with the beat. After a few taps, he found his head nodding along with his foot.

His dance partner had begun to walk in time around him again. "Try swinging your hips or something."

That snapped him back to his senses. "What? You're nuts!"

She stood in front of him, tilted her hips to the side and placed her fists on them. "Oh, come on, Swaine; it's not that bad. Just try it."

Hesitating for a second, he reluctantly tilted his hips to one side.

"Now the other direction."

"This is ridiculous."

"Ridiculous or not, you have to dance somehow."

He slowly shifted his hips to his other side.

Esther was silent, and then turned her back onto him, walking away. Swaine didn't know why she walked away, so he walked up to her and began to walk backwards in front of her with his hands in his pockets.

"Why ya' walking aw-"

He was cut short when Esther started to walk backwards. The man decided to keep up and walked forward-and in time with the music, though he didn't notice.

"Are you chicken? Is that why you don't want to dance?" Esther smirked as she went back several steps and proceeded forward again with her friend a step in front of her.

"No, of course not!" He walked and moved exactly when Esther did. His body was starting to subconsciously get the hang of the moves.

"Oh, really?" A delicate eyebrow was raised as their arms swayed along with their footsteps.

"Yeah, really. I just don't want to look like an idiot-especially in this outfit."

"Well, you don't look like an idiot to me right now-and you're dancing!"

He was suddenly aware of what his body was doing-he was walking back and forward in time with the song and with Esther. But…he didn't stop. He was actually…enjoying it a little.

"See? It's not so hard!"

"…Okay, I'll admit it, it's not too bad." He began to walk around the tamer just as she had originally done. "It's…kinda fun, actually."

Esther's eyes shone beautifully in the lantern light, but they now had a special twinkle in them. She turned side to side as she waved her hands with the beat along with her new partner. The duo was dancing amid the sea of dancers on the floor, drowning in the current of lyrics by the band. They were so immersed with the music and singing that they forgot that they were forced into doing this in the first place.

"Tidy! They're really dancing, mun!" Drippy chirped from the sidelines of the dance floor along with Marcassin and Oliver.

"They're actually pretty good, Mr. Drippy."

"It would appear that Esther is a very good teacher."

Drippy's lantern bobbed up and down as he nodded. "Mm-hmm, they're killin' it on the dance floor!" He gazed at the couple before a mental light bulb appeared above his head. "Oi, I've got another idea! A proper tidy one! Be right back boys!" He darted away from the sage and wizard.

Meanwhile, Swaine decided to give his blonde partner a spin, making her dress fan out with the movement. The man had an affectionate smirk on his face while the desert blonde wore a bright smile, enjoying the thrill of the dance. Esther walked sideways and Swaine followed her actions. They're bodies swayed with the music and each other with rhythmic ease.

"You know Swaine, you're dancing isn't half bad…for an ex-thief."

"Hmph. I was thinking about complimenting you about your dancing, but I changed my mind."

The strange couple kept cutting the rug, with their graceful movements gaining the attention of the other dancers-including Kublai and Khulan. They looked over their shoulders to catch glimpses of their friends.

"Hahar, look like they're enjoying themselves!"

"Yes, and they're quite the pair on the floor."

It was true-they're moves were natural and unique. They could follow the other's moves with fluidity and ease. It was hard to believe that these same two people fought like oil and water on a daily basis; but for now, while on the dance floor, they mixed and swayed back and forth together.

The man spun the girl again. Her eyes and smile were bright and colored with delight. He opened his mouth to say something, but something thin with something red at one end was suddenly thrown into his mouth. It had sharp points on it and the taste of blood mixed with the flavor of something plant-like on his tongue. The pain caught him by surprise and Esther tripped, almost hitting the hard floor had Swaine not recovered in time and caught her with a hand securely on her waist. The girl's left arm gripped onto his neck while her other arm was outstretched in the open air. The man's free arm was also extended away from his body for counter balance as his body bent forward under the girl's weight.

If one wasn't paying close attention, one would of mistaken the man was dipping his partner intentionally. After all, the song had just hit its last note at that precise moment. The only thing hinting the fact that the move was accidental was the surprised expressions in the duo's eyes. One minute Esther was being pulled to the floor by gravity, and the next moment held up while being only a few inches away from her partner's face.

"…So what's with the rose?" Esther finally broke the silence.

Swaine's eyebrow went skyward with confusion. "Ehh?" he hummed through his clenched teeth. With his free hand he pulled the mystery object away from his mouth for inspection; turns out it was a rose-and with sharp thorns.

"Ohohoho! Oh boy, mun, that was priceless!" They turned their heads to the direction of Drippy's laughing, blushing slightly.

"What-you threw that thing?"

"Yep, sure did, mun!"

"Well, you could've at least thrown a rose without thorns!" The man spat out to the fairy, starting to feel sick at the metallic taste of his own blood against his tongue. "Damn it, stupid thorns…"

"Ohoho, sorry mun. But that was some tidy dancin'!"

The two were silent for a second with their faces melting into a deeper shade of red before they babbled out their response.

"Um-err-well, we-uh…"

"Oi, I wonder what ol' Rashaad would think of this…" Drippy chuckled. "Oi, that would be good! So flipping funny! Hohoho!"

Esther's blue eyes dilated to the size of a dot. "If father heard about this…oh no."

Swaine's eyebrows shot upwards in a heartbeat. "Oh crap-if that guy found out-well, he'd probably kick my ass, at least! And hard!"

"Swaine," Esther suddenly commanded as she pulled out her harp, almost out of thin air.

"Got it," Swaine obeyed her lead and drew out his trusty pistol with his brown eyes shooting imaginary bullets at the fairy, who was now backing away slowly out of mild fear.

"Huh? Oi-hey, I was just jokin', mun! Blimey, there's no need to get your knickers all twisted up!"

Fearful for his tidy life, Drippy darted away and into the crowd with the harp-and-gun wielding duo hot on his heels.

"Drippy, you get back here!"

"Damn it, you stupid little fairy! When I get my hands on you, you're dead meat, you hear me?!"

"OI! I WAS JUST JOKING! HONEST!" Drippy bounced over a fence and out into the night-and followed by Esther and Swaine. With cries of wrath and shouts of mercy, the three vanished and faded away from the restaurant party.

Oliver and Marcassin ran over to the fence and gazed into the direction their friends had gone off to.

"Jeepers…Do you think they'll be okay?"

"I think Gascon and Esther will be alright for the most part…but I'm a little worried about Drippy."

The boys were suddenly joined by Kublai and Khulan.

"Well, I think they'll be fine, mates. We should enjoy the rest of the night."

"Knowing them, they'll probably return to The Iron Wyvern eventually-and hopefully in one piece."

Oliver still looked a bit concerned, but said, "Well…okay."

Kublai let loose yet another of his deep laughs. He scratched his large beard and suddenly looked at Marcassin. "Aye, by the way, lad-are you going to dance?"

"Wh-what? Um, no, I don't think so…"

The sky pirate wasn't in the mood to take that as an answer. With a strong hand, he pulled the prince away by the back of his lilac collar, barking "Aye, man up, you livy-livered fop of a prince! We're going to find you a lass to dance with, whether you like it or not!" The pirate of the skies dragged the poor young man away with his heels rubbing against the ground and meekly protesting.

"Jeepers…Do you think we should stop him…?" The young wizard turned to Khulan.

"…I think they'll be fine. In the meantime, we should enjoy the rest of the party."

~A few miles away…~

Three different silhouettes ran along the moonlit land; a tiny round one with a lamp, followed by two human looking shadows.

"Oi, will ya' quit it with the crikey chase already?" Drippy shouted over his shoulder.

"Maybe-if you'd get back over here!" Esther's shoes thudded persistently against the earth beneath her.

"And get beat to a pulp by you guys?" The fairy gained speed, fearing for his well-being.

"More or less!" Swaine quickened his pace as he aimed his gun for the hundredth time that night.

"Then heck no! Oh knickers, knickers, knickers..."

Author's Note: This oneshot was inspired by the song "Sway" by The Marine Band. It was originally going to be a songfic, but while I was writing this, I changed my mind and turned it into a long oneshot. Also, songfic's are not allowed on fanficion net, and I don't want to break the rules...

I was playing Just Dance 2 and doing Sway with the dancers on the screen, when ping! inspiration! :)