TITLE: Lilac's Last Bloom
AUTHOR: Kate M (also Kathryn Ravvin)
E-MAIL: Enigma806@aol.com
FEEDBACK: Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! (Get my point?) Please, pretty please with a cherry on top? And chocolate sauce? And chocolate sauce in my coffee with whipped cream so I can have a cappuccino? Yeah...waitamminnute, what was the subject? Anyhow, I crave feedback...and cappuccino...but that's another story.
RATING: Um, PG, I guess.
CATEGORY: Actually, very little angst overall, which is unlike me... Let's see...Babyfic (sorta), lots of M/S friendship...M/S/other friendship, a smattering of MSR, some blink-and-you'll-miss-it UST. A little Mulder Torture Lite. This one's hard to categorize...you read it and decide. Let me know... Warning: Character death.
DISCLAIMER: Yeah, yeah, I don't own 'em, the big boys up at 1013 and FOX do...yada, yada, yada, ad infinitum, ad nauseum. I do, however, own the characters I *did* invent...Julia and Jack Kalians and any other characters you don't recognize as being from XF, pretty much. That would include Rachel, yes. I know you love her and want her, but...laughs. I have had TOO many cups of cappuccino staying awake, trying to finish this thing! The song I quote is "I'd Love You to Want Me" by Lobo.
SPOILERS: All Scully cancer eps... "Christmas Carol" and "Emily", "The Unnatural" (small one), "Triangle" (small one), "Chinga" (small one), another small one for "Monday", vague reference to the iced tea conversation in "Tooms". (At least I'm pretty sure that was the ep. Correct me if I'm wrong. Could have been "Squeeze", I confuse those two all the time!) I dare you to find the "Wetwired" reference!
ARCHIVE: Sure, I'd be honored. Just send me the link so I can drop in every now and then. And I would appreciate an email to let me know of your intentions. Church of X, of course!
SUMMARY: Doing a "favor" for a friend will change Scully's life forever.
NOTES: This is a response to the Church of X fanfic challenge #1. If I get a good response, and you ask nicely, I might make a series of it. :-)~ I know it looks like a Mother's Day challenge at first--but that's just happenstance. Trust me on this one. BTW, the places mentioned in this story really do exist. I know, I used to live in this area. :)
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Jasper's restaurant
Greenbelt, Maryland
Julia Kalians entered the restaurant cheerfully, and seeing that the friend she was supposed to meet for lunch hadn't arrived yet, sat down. The waitress came by and smiled at her.
"Hello, ma'am," the waitress--her nametag identified her as Sabrina--greeted her, handing Julia a menu. "Can I take your drink order?"
"Um...sure," Julia replied. "Do you have any iced tea?"
"We sure do," Sabrina answered brightly.
"Iced tea, then," Julia said. It was one of her few true vices in life...she loved the stuff. And she certainly wasn't going to deny herself it this late in the game.
"Coming right up." Sabrina left, a bounce in her step. She couldn't possibly have been any more than 20. Julia remembered what life had been like for her then. She wanted those days back. Young, happy...not a care in the world...nothing to worry about...no concerns that her glowing health might one day simply vanish...
"Iced tea?" a familiar female voice asked from behind, her tone teasing. "Why doesn't that surprise me? Looking for love, are you?"
Julia looked back at her. "'Looking for love', Dana?"
Dana Scully chuckled softly, and joined her friend at the table. "Oh...long story."
"Does it have anything to do with that gorgeous partner of yours?"
"Actually, yes," Scully told her, and then gave Julia an evaluating glance. "Gorgeous?"
"Well, he is."
"I know that, Jules...but you're married."
"Doesn't mean I can't appreciate the finer specimens of the opposite sex. I'll look, I might enjoy it, but I keep my hands off. Jack's the same way."
Scully shrugged. "Then I guess you two are perfectly matched."
The two of them had known each other since college...Julia had been Dana's best friend's roommate. They had become rather good friends...actually, now, Julia was the only one of the college gang that Scully still kept in regular contact with.
"So have you and Jack had any luck yet?" Scully asked. Julia and her husband had been trying for years to have a baby--with no results. Julia had gotten pregnant three times...and miscarried all three. The most recent one was only about six or seven months ago.
Julia shook her head sadly. "No. They figured out what the problem is, though."
"What?"
"I don't know, exactly," Julia explained, waving a hand as she spoke, "but it has something to do with my body chemistry or something...for some reason, I can't carry a child beyond about six weeks. It's just impossible for me." She sighed. "We can still adopt, of course...but we'd always wanted our very own little baby. Doesn't matter though. It's not going to happen now."
Scully reached out and put a hand on one of Julia's. "Oh, Julia...I'm so sorry." She knew the pain and frustration all too well...her last chance at being a mother had died with Emily.
"I'm okay," Julia assured her. "I've had some time; I'm dealing with this. And having a baby isn't *everything* in the world..." She smiled. "But at least you understand, Dana. Most people try to act like they do when they really don't. You know, I keep making up all these reasons to try to justify things to myself...doesn't work."
"I know exactly what you mean," Scully sympathized. "I keep telling myself every now and then that I don't have time in my life for a baby, but if something's important, you'll make the time. I guess it's just a form of self-delusion...something my partner specializes in." She grinned. "I've learned a few tricks of the trade."
"So why don't you two ever get together?" Julia wondered, changing the subject.
"We're just friends," Scully insisted.
"Yeah, sure, Dee...that's what they *all* say."
Scully pulled back with feigned indignance. "Oh, Julia Gayle Kalians...you are so smug. Don't make me have to hurt you."
"Okay, okay!" Julia giggled, bringing an unlikely girlish look to her features. "I'll be good, I promise!" There was a short pause. "Geez, you've really gotta watch yourself when the FBI's involved!"
Sabrina came back with the tea, and the two women placed their orders. About halfway through the meal, Julia gave her friend a long, hard glance. Scully looked up from her salad, surprised.
"What is it, Julia?"
Julia took a deep breath before continuing. "Dana...I asked you to come here today because there's something really important I wanted to talk to you about. Something really big. It would affect both our lives--in a major way."
Scully set the fork down, and took a cautious sip of her Diet Coke. "What is it, Jewel?"
"It's about...the problem we were discussing earlier. With kids and everything."
"And?" Scully prompted.
"*And* it would involve some serious decisions--on both our parts. I wouldn't make you decide now; I wouldn't want you to. This is going to be something you're going to really have to think about."
"What is it?"
Julia sighed. "Jack and I were discussing...other possibilities. Like adopting. And we found this adorable little girl in California...her mother had just abandoned her at the hospital, poor thing."
"How could any mother do that to her child?" Scully wondered. Of course, she'd wondered the same things after the events in Home, Pennsylvania. "I would give anything to have a baby, and then some mother goes and leaves hers?"
"That's precisely what I thought," Julia agreed. "That's why Jack and I are going to adopt her. Her name's Rachel. I was just thinking...if something were to happen that would allow the circumstances, you would be able to take care of a baby, right?"
"I would assume so." Scully gasped softly, as she put two and two together. "Julia...are you asking me what I think you're asking me?"
Julia nodded slowly. "Not exactly, though. This is a little more complicated than the average godparent situation."
XXXXXXXX
J. Edgar Hoover Building, basement floor
Washington, D.C.
Mulder looked up as Scully walked into the office.
"Oh, hi. How'd lunch go?"
"Well..." Scully began.
"Well what?"
Scully looked straight at Mulder, blue eyes meeting green. "Julia wants me to sign as a legal guardian for the baby she's going to adopt. She and Jack signed the adoption papers...right before they found out that they were dying."
XXXXXXXX
The silence in the room was deafening.
Mulder's jaw nearly hit the floor. "You're kidding."
"No, Mulder, I am in fact deadly serious." She winced at the unintentional pun.
"Your friend wants you to have her baby?" Mulder asked, then grinned, realizing that it didn't really sound right.
"In a manner of speaking," Scully countered, choosing to ignore the inane smirk on Mulder's face.
"Are you going to do it?"
"I don't know, Mulder. I mean, this is a major, *major* decision. I'm really going to have to think about it. You don't just decide these things on a whim."
"This is true," Mulder mused. "Do you *want* to do it?"
"I honestly don't know," she told him. "I mean, my first instinct is to say 'yes', and in all honesty, I would love to do it...I mean, you know how much I'd love to have a child...but I don't know how easy it would be for me emotionally. And logically, for that matter. I was willing to throw everything on hold for Emily, will I be able to do it for Rachel? And it's hard enough to handle the fact that they're both *dying*...I don't know, Mulder. I really do not know. I want to make sure she's taken care of..."
Mulder came over and put an arm around her shoulders. "That's your decision to make. It's a personal thing. I can't tell you what to do."
"But it wouldn't only affect me," Scully pointed out. "That's why I brought it up to you."
"What do you mean by that?"
"What I *mean*," she clarified, "is that you're a part of this equation too, Mulder. You'd have to deal with me after severe sleep deprivation for one thing--Rachel's only a month old right now...and for another, I'd have to take some time off once I got her, and..."
"Like I said before," he restated, "this is your decision. But I want you to know that I'll support you, whatever you decide."
She looked at him, seeing his tender side. She didn't get to see it half as often as she'd have liked--so she adored those rare moments when she did. "Thanks. That really means a lot to me."
"Anytime," he whispered back.
The moment passed as quickly as it had begun, as if they had both remembered exactly who and where they were.
"So, uh..." Mulder started, attempting to break the awkward silence that followed, "you'll let me know when you make your decision?"
Scully swallowed hard, and nodded. "Yeah. Of course. You'll be the first to know--except me, of course." She laughed quietly at the bad joke. Why was she so anxious? So nervous? Was it because of the huge choice she had to make...or was it because of Mulder's caring warmth and tenderness? Maybe both?
Pull yourself together, Dana, she chided silently, this is going to be difficult enough without going all to pieces because Mulder's being sweet! He's acted like this before...
But you were sick then. You were hurt. You were going through tough times. You'd just had a fight, another voice in her mind reminded her. Has he ever acted like this when times were good? Well, *has* he?
Shut up, she thought, then laughed aloud that she was arguing with herself...with the voices in her head.
"What's so funny?" Mulder asked, amused by her sudden laughter.
"Too many years hanging around *you*, Spooky," she teased him, making a breezy exit.
Mulder chuckled, shrugged, and went back to his files. He'd never understand her.
XXXXXXXX
A week later...
XXXXXXXX
"So you've decided?" Mulder asked.
Scully nodded, her conviction obvious. She'd thought long and hard about this, and she'd made her decision. There would be no turning back.
"I'm going through with it, Mulder."
Mulder stood up, and crossed over to her. "If you're sure it's what you want, then I'm there for you."
"Don't make promises you can't keep, Mulder," she teased him.
He actually looked vaguely hurt by this--that same puppy-dog look he'd given her in the hospital after her reaction to his declaration of love crossed his face. "What do you mean by *that*?"
Feeling somewhat sorry for him (he looked so *cute* when he was trying to be pathetic!), she crossed the room, and hugged him with one arm. It was somewhat awkward, considering their height difference, but she managed it. "*Think* about it, Mulder. Julia told me that she and Jack wanted me to take Rachel right away, so it would be less traumatic for her...for the next couple of years, I am going to be missing sleep, worried about diapers and nursery rhymes...I'm going to be...well, the mother of a small child!"
He laughed. "Okay. I'll *still* be there for you--but don't be worried if *I'm* suddenly generally prone to inexplicable periods of absence." The teasing grin he flashed her suddenly made everything he had ever put her through in the past years worth it...
Whoa, Dana, she chided herself. You've really got it bad for him, dontcha? Well, he *did* say he loved you once...
Yeah, she reasoned a moment later, but that was probably the Demerol talking. He could have been declaring his love to the Queen of England for all he knew.
She really had to stop this arguing with herself. It couldn't be good, psychologically speaking. And certain people in the Bureau already thought *Mulder* was nuts...wouldn't do any good to have people thinking *both* of them were now. Especially now that she was going to take this baby. Rachel...it was such a cute name. She didn't have a middle name...Rachel was simply what the hospital staff had called her.
She's going to be my daughter... Scully thought, and for the first time in a long time felt a swell of pure happiness, albeit tempered by the knowledge that two of her friends were dying. Scully would be signed as Rachel's legal guardian until Jack and Julia's deaths, at which point she would formally adopt the girl.
"So?" Mulder prompted.
Scully shook her head, as if to clear it. "I'm sorry...what did you say?"
"Always nice to know you're hanging on my every word," Mulder deadpanned, his usual dry wit floating to the surface. "I asked you what's wrong with Julia and Jack."
"Oh," Scully replied. "Well...you know they work for the state, right? Maryland?"
"Yeah, I think you mentioned something about that once." Mulder had only ever met the Kalianses twice. What he knew about them, he had gotten from Scully.
"Well, about three months ago, they got a case outside Braddock Heights..."
"Ooh...Braddock Heights," Mulder interjected. "Interesting memories!"
She rolled her eyes, ignoring him. "And it involved what could have possibly been an abandoned shipment of some sort of virus. In a warehouse..."
"Outside Braddock Heights," Mulder finished. "I gotcha, go on."
"Well, it wasn't a virus," Scully explained, "but it was deadly nevertheless. Not bacteria, either...some other form of pathogen. Definitely manufactured. It was almost like a chimera, but not quite. There was no plant material that could be detected. And I know what you're thinking, so before you ask, no it was not found to be extraterrestrial in any way, shape or form."
"Ruin all my fun, why don't you?" Mulder teased. The look he got from her quickly informed him that her patience was wearing thin. Ah...he should've known better than to crack jokes like this, but he couldn't help it. It was a natural defense mechanism. Helped him deal with stuff. "Okay, okay, Scully--I'm sorry. What happened then?"
"They'd been told that this disease or whatever it was couldn't be spread except through blood-to-blood contact...that outside of blood, it was harmless. That's what everyone thought then...but they were wrong." Scully sighed, heavily. "One of the vials broke and it got on Jack's arm...they didn't know then that it could be absorbed through the skin."
"So he has it," Mulder realized, "and Julia got it from him."
"Yes," Scully confirmed. "She thinks it probably happened a couple of days later when he cut himself shaving and she helped to patch him up."
Mulder put an arm around Scully's shoulder in a friendly, supportive manner. "I'm sorry. I know you and Julia are fairly close."
"Thanks, Mulder," she replied, forcing a tiny little half-smile. "This contagion works at much the same speed as my cancer did...although different effects, of course. The victims *look* fine until the terminal stages...and it only takes four or five months to progress. It works quickly, let me tell you."
Mulder winced. Scully's battle with cancer was something her preferred not to think about or remember. That was the closest he had ever come in life to actually killing himself. He still felt as though he were to blame for the ordeal, but at least he'd been able to find the cure. She was healthy now, active, and vital as she had ever been. Perhaps even more so, considering that she had come face-to-face with her own mortality. On more than one occasion.
"What's her name again?" Mulder asked. "The baby, I mean."
"Rachel," Scully answered.
"Well," Mulder continued, "I think that having Rachel is going to do a lot of good for you. You'll be a wonderful mother, I haven't ever doubted that." He still felt he owed her a little something for at first telling her that he thought it would be better if she didn't take Emily. He had seen the look in her eyes. He'd known that had hurt her. It had been the truth, but sometimes the truth hurt. And Scully was the closest friend he'd ever had, ever would have. He didn't want to hurt her for anything.
Scully turned to look directly at him. "Then how come you didn't think I should adopt Emily?" It wasn't an accusation, just a simple question. Her voice had tightened noticeably...even after all this time, she still had trouble talking about it.
"I didn't want you to get hurt." Mulder walked over a bit closer to her, narrowing the gap between them--in more ways than one.
"You worry about me too much," she chided gently, smiling as she gathered up her things.
"Someone has to," Mulder countered. "I find I'm pretty good at it. You know what they say, stick with what you know."
Scully resisted the urge to rolled her eyes, but graced him with one of her rare smiles. "You *are* spooky. I'll see you later, all right? Have a nice weekend."
That's right, it was Friday. Mulder had forgotten all about it. Of course, he'd often been accused of being a workaholic before, so that was nothing new in and of itself. "Okay, sure. If I need your help researching some old obituaries tomorrow, I'll let you know." He couldn't resist the opportunity to tease her.
She responded by throwing a nearby magazine at him. "Don't even think about it. I would actually *like* to have a life."
"Thank you for all your support," Mulder retorted sarcastically, grinning as he picked up the magazine, which had come close to hitting his beloved "I Want To Believe" poster.
"Have fun with your baseball scores," Scully called on her way out.
Mulder just smiled. "It's so good to have friends sometimes." He thought about that for a moment. "Then, at least, you don't feel too guilty about harassing them mercilessly."
XXXXXXXX
Two weeks later...
XXXXXXXX
Never before in human history had any four adults standing in an airport been so anxious.
Baby Rachel was on an incoming plane that was due to arrive any second.
Jack was laughing. "Gee, Jewels...I just realized the best part of this whole deal! We get to cuddle her, spoil her, adore and pamper her...then hand her back to Dana!" He chuckled again.
"No, thank you," Scully responded amiably. "She'll get enough of that from my mother!"
"And mine," Julia pointed out.
"Aren't grandparents wonderful?" Mulder teased.
"I think it's their revenge on us," Julia sighed.
"What revenge?" Jack asked, innocently. "I was an angel!"
"Yeah, *sure* ya were, Jackie boy." Julia knocked her husband upside the head in a playful manner.
"Spousal abuse!" Jack protested.
Julia rolled her eyes. Scully, despite herself, started laughing.
"Marriage. It's great." Julia tossed her blonde hair back over one shoulder. "You oughtta try it sometime, Dane." She directed a meaningful look in Mulder's general direction.
Her friend's intent was not lost of the female FBI agent. "Yeah, Julia, sure. One of us would be dead within a month."
"And knowing my propensity to get my butt kicked," Mulder countered, having overhead, "I'm willing to bet it would be me. But I *have* asked her!"
"And you turned him down?!" Julia demanded. "What, are you crazy?"
"He wasn't serious," Scully insisted.
"You don't *know* that," Mulder called back. Before Scully could argue that, Jack's voice interrupted their "conversation".
"Hey, the plane's here!"
In short order, the four formerly anxious adults were now cooing at an adorable month old baby girl and discussing the basics of baby care. Mulder kind of edged out of the conversation after awhile, knowing absolutely nothing about babies, but he stuck around.
They ended up at a small coffee shop in Silver Spring, Maryland.
"So," Mulder began, "does this kid have a middle name?"
"No, not yet," Julia informed him. She ruffled Rachel's light reddish-brown hair. "We should decide that. Dana?"
"Oh, no," Scully replied. "You two have already given me so much...you pick her middle name."
"Lee," Jack said.
"Anne," Julia decided at the same time.
They looked at each other.
"How about Leanne?" Mulder suggested. Scully smiled at him. Leanne had been Melissa's middle name.
"I like it!" Julia declared. "Rachel Leanne...that's so cute!"
"I'm with her on this one," Jack agreed. He paused. "For once. Dana?"
"I think Rachel Leanne would be perfect," Scully said softly, still touched by Mulder's suggestion. Of course, it had been a fairly obvious answer, but just that he suggested it--knowing how close she had been to her sister...
"Yay, we agree." Julia looked down at the infant in her arms. "Well...Rachel Leanne...what do you think? Yes? No?"
Rachel yawned in her sleep in what had to be the most adorable way humanly possible.
Scully smiled. "I'll take that as a 'yes'."
XXXXXXXX
Before they knew it, time had passed, and Rachel was nearing the two-month-old mark. She was awake a little more, and more alert. Even Mulder had come to adore her. Heck, *everybody* adored her. Skinner's secretary indulged in peek-a-boo games with the little girl whenever she got the chance...even the AD himself would tickle her occasionally, when he was sure nobody was looking. Couldn't let down the ol' "boss" guard, now.
"Ray-chill," Scully cooed, having brought the baby by on the lunch hour. "Who's my baby girl? Whossit?"
Rachel responded with her usual baby-talk reply.
Mulder watched the two of them. Scully was the perfect mother, as he'd thought all along. She deserved this. It was unfortunate that two of her friends had to die to let her have it.
Rachel squealed with delight as she grabbed Scully's omnipresent cross necklace. Scully gasped slightly, the laughed as she freed the charm from the baby's fingers. "Don't choke Mommy, all right, sweetie?"
"She looks just like you," came a voice from the doorway. It was Julia.
Scully turned around, and grinned. She did that a lot these days...the "Ice Queen" façade had melted away the second Rachel had stolen her heart. A line from a song came to Mulder. He grinned at the thought.
"You told yourself years ago...
You'd never let your feelings show...
The obligation that you made--
For the title that they gave."
Well, to heck with that now! The name of the song was "I'd Love You to Want Me". It fit. He'd love her to want him, if she'd "only let it be".
Mulder realized a second later that Scully was speaking to him.
"So, what do you think, Mulder?"
"I think..." he started, cautiously. "That the *real* answer lies somewhere in between." Seemed safe enough.
It wasn't.
"Mulder, were you listening to a word I said? Do you want to go to lunch with Julie and I or don't you?"
"Oh!" Mulder exclaimed, feeling not a little foolish. "Yeah, sure."
"I can get Kim to watch Rae," Scully explained. "It'll be easier to get in and out that way."
"Sure," Julia concurred. "Does fast food sound okay? I've got to get back to work soon. Wendy's, perhaps?"
"Fine by me," Scully acquiesced. "I know Mulder won't mind."
"Sure don't."
"Then let me drop the baby off and we'll be good to go."
XXXXXXXX
Wendy's
Takoma Park, Maryland
"Dave Thomas and I ought to be close personal friends by now," Julia joked, biting a French fry. "I sure eat here enough."
Scully toyed with the remains of her salad. "Well, it's quick, it's cheap--considering the prices around here--and it's convenient."
"Amen," Julia sighed. "Mulder? You haven't said much."
"I just have a weird feeling about this..." Mulder admitted. "This whole situation, I mean. Like something bad's going to happen."
"That's spooky," Julia mused.
"That's my name, isn't it?" Mulder replied good-naturedly.
Julia pulled back sheepishly. "Oh, sorry...I forgot all about that. Personally, I don't see what's wrong with it. I think it's cute. I mean, I'd love it if my friends called me 'Spooky'."
"Let's just say that the name wasn't *given* by friends..." Mulder informed her, slowly, "and it's more their reasoning behind it that I don't like."
"Oh, I see. Sorry."
"It's okay."
As the conversation continued, Mulder's attention became fixed on a man who lingered near the counter. There was something strange about him...the agent barely had time to react when the guy whipped out a gun.
Customers began screaming, some started crying...some started praying. Mulder and Scully exchanged a glance. They weren't quite sure with whom they were dealing with. If they told him that they were federal agents, it might disconcert him enough to get him to give up. On the other hand, it could also make him begin shooting the place up.
While Mulder began giving the guy the usual FBI hostage situation pacification crap, Scully instinctively pushed Julia down.
The gunman rolled his eyes at Mulder's words. "Oh, come *on*. Where do you *get* this stuff? Some kind of script? Well, it's not going to work, buddy. I work for the God-Almighty-blessed state of Maryland! I know all about it!"
Julia gasped. This guy worked for the same place *she* did? That was always disturbing.
"So who is this pyschoburger?" Julia hissed. "Maybe I know him, but I can't see a thing from under this table!"
"It's safer for you," Scully assured her, "but I'll try to get a name." She remembered something about coaxing someone to give her a name in some bank...but she couldn't recall details. In fact, she was pretty sure it had never even happened. A dream, perhaps?
"Well, we need something to call you," she said, addressing the man with the weapon. "Is Steve okay? Sounds like a good name...maybe Bernard?" *Bernard*? Where had that come from? Steve was a catchall, but...Bernard?
The man chuckled. "You know, I like her better. She's funny. But I'm not afraid of who I am! My name is Fredrick L. Harvey. I was born January 25, 1959, in Provo, Utah! Anything else, Red?"
Scully rolled her eyes, knowing it was same to chance the gesture with a man like Harvey. Frohike was the only one who ever called her "Red", and she just barely allowed him to get away with it. "No, that's quite enough, thanks. And the name's Dana, get it right."
Mulder tried not to smile. This was certainly an unusual hostage situation if ever they'd had one.
But it all shattered in a moment. There was the sound of sirens in the distance. Whether an employee had called the police, or it was just happenstance didn't matter. Harvey snapped. And, unfortunately, Julia caught his eye.
"Ah!" he exclaimed, "the lovely Mrs. Kalians!" He was definitely a nutcase, no denying that. "You're upset with the whole system too, right? I mean, its their fault you're sick, right?"
"No," Julia told him, "it's just circumstance."
Harvey glared at her. "Wrong answer." He pulled the trigger, twice.
Mulder was a little closer, so he dived at Julia to protect her. He was half a second too late. The first bullet hit Julia; the second caught him in the arm.
More customers screamed. Scully even shrieked slightly as she saw her two friends go down in a blur of motion. And when she saw the blood. She rushed over.
"No, Red--I mean Dana," Harvey chided. "You stay there."
Scully didn't care at this point. "I'm a doctor! Let me help them!"
"Well..." Harvey agreed reluctantly, "all right."
Julia was bad. She'd been hit in the head, and was barely alive. Scully pulled the woman into her arms, offering her some comfort. There was nothing else she could do.
"Not just postal workers any more..." Julia managed.
Scully couldn't believe Julia was cracking jokes at a time like this. But, as she realized with a start, Mulder would have probably been doing the exact same thing.
"At least it's quick like this..." Julia whispered. And she died.
Snapping into her clinical mode, Scully had to try to set aside her grief for a moment. Mulder was hurt, too...and besides, the fewer hysterical people in there, the better. She went over to him.
"I'm okay," Mulder assured her.
"You're bleeding. That's not okay."
"It just took off some skin...I'll be fine." He half-smiled at her, trying to provide reassurance. "I'm sorry..."
"Later, Mulder," she whispered. If she accepted his condolences now, she'd be forced to face it. She couldn't do that...not until this crisis was past. Scully was very glad she hadn't brought Rachel after all.
"You know what, Red?" Harvey asked. Scully looked up. "I used to think you were cute. I mean entertaining cute, not good-looking cute. Although you *are* that. But you're not that entertaining anymore." He fired twice again.
Mulder watched in horror as Scully crumpled to the floor. He hurried over to her side.
"Scully?!"
Both of the bullets had caught her in the chest. She was fading fast.
"Oh, no..." he muttered. "Come on, hang on. We'll get through this."
"Take care...of Rachel..." Scully told him, as he cradled her petite body with his good arm, trying to use his other hand to stanch the flow of blood.
"Of course," he promised. "But you'll get through this."
"If..." she started to say.
"If what?"
"If I have to die today, I'm glad it's beside you." Her voice was heavy with weakness and pain, but her eyes betrayed strength unlike any other he'd ever seen from her.
"Oh, Scully..." Mulder sighed, oblivious to everything around them, "don't talk like that. You're going to be okay. You're going to make it."
But his promises were hollow. Moments later, she breathed her last. She died, right there, in his arms. Where she had been so many times before for comfort, solace.
"It's what was meant to be," someone had told Mulder once. Was this what was meant to be now? No...it was so wrong...
The police arrived, but Mulder never noticed. He no longer noticed the pain in his arm. The only thing he was aware of was the fact that his best friend was dead...but their friendship transcended usual bounds. Had he loved her? He couldn't say for sure at that exact moment, but he wanted to believe. Didn't he always?
Her last words, by far, haunted him most. "I'm glad it's beside you..."
XXXXXXXX
Sometime later, Mulder sat alone in his apartment. Alone except for Rachel. Rachel fussed slightly. She wanted her mother--or at least the woman she had come to know as her mother--but there was no way to make her understand that she was never coming back.
He looked down that the infant. "If only we could all be so innocent..."
Jack had all but given up after Julia had been killed...he didn't care about much anymore. True to his final promise to Scully, Mulder had taken Rachel home with him. He would take care of her now, raise her. And when she was old enough, he'd tell her of the horrible day that had taken the lives of Julia Kalians and Dana Scully, so she would know that they had not willfully abandoned her like her birth mother had. That she had been very much loved.
There had been an article in the paper about it...Mulder had kept it for future purposes, but he hadn't paid much attention to it. It didn't matter. Were it not for the fact that little Rachel needed him, Mulder might have given up much the same as Jack.
But he wouldn't. He couldn't. He'd made a promise.
A promise that he intended to keep.
A promise made to a woman who had meant so much to him--more than she ever could have known. A woman whose last wish was merely for him to be there with her when she'd died.
XXXXXXXX
(completed 5/27/00)
END NOTE: I realize that "Lilac's Last Bloom" might not make sense as a title to most people. And "Every Rose Has Its Thorn"...also by me, coincidence. Not all my character death (or fake character death, in "Rose"'s case) stories have flower names. The title of this one is from a Walt Whitman poem, "When Lilacs Last in the Dooryard Bloomed". It was about the death of Abraham Lincoln...the whole lilac thing was symbolic. Forgive me, Whitman fans, but I think the man was on crack. (I'm not a free verse fan.)
However, the title seemed to work for this story, so...
--Kate
AUTHOR: Kate M (also Kathryn Ravvin)
E-MAIL: Enigma806@aol.com
FEEDBACK: Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! (Get my point?) Please, pretty please with a cherry on top? And chocolate sauce? And chocolate sauce in my coffee with whipped cream so I can have a cappuccino? Yeah...waitamminnute, what was the subject? Anyhow, I crave feedback...and cappuccino...but that's another story.
RATING: Um, PG, I guess.
CATEGORY: Actually, very little angst overall, which is unlike me... Let's see...Babyfic (sorta), lots of M/S friendship...M/S/other friendship, a smattering of MSR, some blink-and-you'll-miss-it UST. A little Mulder Torture Lite. This one's hard to categorize...you read it and decide. Let me know... Warning: Character death.
DISCLAIMER: Yeah, yeah, I don't own 'em, the big boys up at 1013 and FOX do...yada, yada, yada, ad infinitum, ad nauseum. I do, however, own the characters I *did* invent...Julia and Jack Kalians and any other characters you don't recognize as being from XF, pretty much. That would include Rachel, yes. I know you love her and want her, but...laughs. I have had TOO many cups of cappuccino staying awake, trying to finish this thing! The song I quote is "I'd Love You to Want Me" by Lobo.
SPOILERS: All Scully cancer eps... "Christmas Carol" and "Emily", "The Unnatural" (small one), "Triangle" (small one), "Chinga" (small one), another small one for "Monday", vague reference to the iced tea conversation in "Tooms". (At least I'm pretty sure that was the ep. Correct me if I'm wrong. Could have been "Squeeze", I confuse those two all the time!) I dare you to find the "Wetwired" reference!
ARCHIVE: Sure, I'd be honored. Just send me the link so I can drop in every now and then. And I would appreciate an email to let me know of your intentions. Church of X, of course!
SUMMARY: Doing a "favor" for a friend will change Scully's life forever.
NOTES: This is a response to the Church of X fanfic challenge #1. If I get a good response, and you ask nicely, I might make a series of it. :-)~ I know it looks like a Mother's Day challenge at first--but that's just happenstance. Trust me on this one. BTW, the places mentioned in this story really do exist. I know, I used to live in this area. :)
***********************************************************************
Jasper's restaurant
Greenbelt, Maryland
Julia Kalians entered the restaurant cheerfully, and seeing that the friend she was supposed to meet for lunch hadn't arrived yet, sat down. The waitress came by and smiled at her.
"Hello, ma'am," the waitress--her nametag identified her as Sabrina--greeted her, handing Julia a menu. "Can I take your drink order?"
"Um...sure," Julia replied. "Do you have any iced tea?"
"We sure do," Sabrina answered brightly.
"Iced tea, then," Julia said. It was one of her few true vices in life...she loved the stuff. And she certainly wasn't going to deny herself it this late in the game.
"Coming right up." Sabrina left, a bounce in her step. She couldn't possibly have been any more than 20. Julia remembered what life had been like for her then. She wanted those days back. Young, happy...not a care in the world...nothing to worry about...no concerns that her glowing health might one day simply vanish...
"Iced tea?" a familiar female voice asked from behind, her tone teasing. "Why doesn't that surprise me? Looking for love, are you?"
Julia looked back at her. "'Looking for love', Dana?"
Dana Scully chuckled softly, and joined her friend at the table. "Oh...long story."
"Does it have anything to do with that gorgeous partner of yours?"
"Actually, yes," Scully told her, and then gave Julia an evaluating glance. "Gorgeous?"
"Well, he is."
"I know that, Jules...but you're married."
"Doesn't mean I can't appreciate the finer specimens of the opposite sex. I'll look, I might enjoy it, but I keep my hands off. Jack's the same way."
Scully shrugged. "Then I guess you two are perfectly matched."
The two of them had known each other since college...Julia had been Dana's best friend's roommate. They had become rather good friends...actually, now, Julia was the only one of the college gang that Scully still kept in regular contact with.
"So have you and Jack had any luck yet?" Scully asked. Julia and her husband had been trying for years to have a baby--with no results. Julia had gotten pregnant three times...and miscarried all three. The most recent one was only about six or seven months ago.
Julia shook her head sadly. "No. They figured out what the problem is, though."
"What?"
"I don't know, exactly," Julia explained, waving a hand as she spoke, "but it has something to do with my body chemistry or something...for some reason, I can't carry a child beyond about six weeks. It's just impossible for me." She sighed. "We can still adopt, of course...but we'd always wanted our very own little baby. Doesn't matter though. It's not going to happen now."
Scully reached out and put a hand on one of Julia's. "Oh, Julia...I'm so sorry." She knew the pain and frustration all too well...her last chance at being a mother had died with Emily.
"I'm okay," Julia assured her. "I've had some time; I'm dealing with this. And having a baby isn't *everything* in the world..." She smiled. "But at least you understand, Dana. Most people try to act like they do when they really don't. You know, I keep making up all these reasons to try to justify things to myself...doesn't work."
"I know exactly what you mean," Scully sympathized. "I keep telling myself every now and then that I don't have time in my life for a baby, but if something's important, you'll make the time. I guess it's just a form of self-delusion...something my partner specializes in." She grinned. "I've learned a few tricks of the trade."
"So why don't you two ever get together?" Julia wondered, changing the subject.
"We're just friends," Scully insisted.
"Yeah, sure, Dee...that's what they *all* say."
Scully pulled back with feigned indignance. "Oh, Julia Gayle Kalians...you are so smug. Don't make me have to hurt you."
"Okay, okay!" Julia giggled, bringing an unlikely girlish look to her features. "I'll be good, I promise!" There was a short pause. "Geez, you've really gotta watch yourself when the FBI's involved!"
Sabrina came back with the tea, and the two women placed their orders. About halfway through the meal, Julia gave her friend a long, hard glance. Scully looked up from her salad, surprised.
"What is it, Julia?"
Julia took a deep breath before continuing. "Dana...I asked you to come here today because there's something really important I wanted to talk to you about. Something really big. It would affect both our lives--in a major way."
Scully set the fork down, and took a cautious sip of her Diet Coke. "What is it, Jewel?"
"It's about...the problem we were discussing earlier. With kids and everything."
"And?" Scully prompted.
"*And* it would involve some serious decisions--on both our parts. I wouldn't make you decide now; I wouldn't want you to. This is going to be something you're going to really have to think about."
"What is it?"
Julia sighed. "Jack and I were discussing...other possibilities. Like adopting. And we found this adorable little girl in California...her mother had just abandoned her at the hospital, poor thing."
"How could any mother do that to her child?" Scully wondered. Of course, she'd wondered the same things after the events in Home, Pennsylvania. "I would give anything to have a baby, and then some mother goes and leaves hers?"
"That's precisely what I thought," Julia agreed. "That's why Jack and I are going to adopt her. Her name's Rachel. I was just thinking...if something were to happen that would allow the circumstances, you would be able to take care of a baby, right?"
"I would assume so." Scully gasped softly, as she put two and two together. "Julia...are you asking me what I think you're asking me?"
Julia nodded slowly. "Not exactly, though. This is a little more complicated than the average godparent situation."
XXXXXXXX
J. Edgar Hoover Building, basement floor
Washington, D.C.
Mulder looked up as Scully walked into the office.
"Oh, hi. How'd lunch go?"
"Well..." Scully began.
"Well what?"
Scully looked straight at Mulder, blue eyes meeting green. "Julia wants me to sign as a legal guardian for the baby she's going to adopt. She and Jack signed the adoption papers...right before they found out that they were dying."
XXXXXXXX
The silence in the room was deafening.
Mulder's jaw nearly hit the floor. "You're kidding."
"No, Mulder, I am in fact deadly serious." She winced at the unintentional pun.
"Your friend wants you to have her baby?" Mulder asked, then grinned, realizing that it didn't really sound right.
"In a manner of speaking," Scully countered, choosing to ignore the inane smirk on Mulder's face.
"Are you going to do it?"
"I don't know, Mulder. I mean, this is a major, *major* decision. I'm really going to have to think about it. You don't just decide these things on a whim."
"This is true," Mulder mused. "Do you *want* to do it?"
"I honestly don't know," she told him. "I mean, my first instinct is to say 'yes', and in all honesty, I would love to do it...I mean, you know how much I'd love to have a child...but I don't know how easy it would be for me emotionally. And logically, for that matter. I was willing to throw everything on hold for Emily, will I be able to do it for Rachel? And it's hard enough to handle the fact that they're both *dying*...I don't know, Mulder. I really do not know. I want to make sure she's taken care of..."
Mulder came over and put an arm around her shoulders. "That's your decision to make. It's a personal thing. I can't tell you what to do."
"But it wouldn't only affect me," Scully pointed out. "That's why I brought it up to you."
"What do you mean by that?"
"What I *mean*," she clarified, "is that you're a part of this equation too, Mulder. You'd have to deal with me after severe sleep deprivation for one thing--Rachel's only a month old right now...and for another, I'd have to take some time off once I got her, and..."
"Like I said before," he restated, "this is your decision. But I want you to know that I'll support you, whatever you decide."
She looked at him, seeing his tender side. She didn't get to see it half as often as she'd have liked--so she adored those rare moments when she did. "Thanks. That really means a lot to me."
"Anytime," he whispered back.
The moment passed as quickly as it had begun, as if they had both remembered exactly who and where they were.
"So, uh..." Mulder started, attempting to break the awkward silence that followed, "you'll let me know when you make your decision?"
Scully swallowed hard, and nodded. "Yeah. Of course. You'll be the first to know--except me, of course." She laughed quietly at the bad joke. Why was she so anxious? So nervous? Was it because of the huge choice she had to make...or was it because of Mulder's caring warmth and tenderness? Maybe both?
Pull yourself together, Dana, she chided silently, this is going to be difficult enough without going all to pieces because Mulder's being sweet! He's acted like this before...
But you were sick then. You were hurt. You were going through tough times. You'd just had a fight, another voice in her mind reminded her. Has he ever acted like this when times were good? Well, *has* he?
Shut up, she thought, then laughed aloud that she was arguing with herself...with the voices in her head.
"What's so funny?" Mulder asked, amused by her sudden laughter.
"Too many years hanging around *you*, Spooky," she teased him, making a breezy exit.
Mulder chuckled, shrugged, and went back to his files. He'd never understand her.
XXXXXXXX
A week later...
XXXXXXXX
"So you've decided?" Mulder asked.
Scully nodded, her conviction obvious. She'd thought long and hard about this, and she'd made her decision. There would be no turning back.
"I'm going through with it, Mulder."
Mulder stood up, and crossed over to her. "If you're sure it's what you want, then I'm there for you."
"Don't make promises you can't keep, Mulder," she teased him.
He actually looked vaguely hurt by this--that same puppy-dog look he'd given her in the hospital after her reaction to his declaration of love crossed his face. "What do you mean by *that*?"
Feeling somewhat sorry for him (he looked so *cute* when he was trying to be pathetic!), she crossed the room, and hugged him with one arm. It was somewhat awkward, considering their height difference, but she managed it. "*Think* about it, Mulder. Julia told me that she and Jack wanted me to take Rachel right away, so it would be less traumatic for her...for the next couple of years, I am going to be missing sleep, worried about diapers and nursery rhymes...I'm going to be...well, the mother of a small child!"
He laughed. "Okay. I'll *still* be there for you--but don't be worried if *I'm* suddenly generally prone to inexplicable periods of absence." The teasing grin he flashed her suddenly made everything he had ever put her through in the past years worth it...
Whoa, Dana, she chided herself. You've really got it bad for him, dontcha? Well, he *did* say he loved you once...
Yeah, she reasoned a moment later, but that was probably the Demerol talking. He could have been declaring his love to the Queen of England for all he knew.
She really had to stop this arguing with herself. It couldn't be good, psychologically speaking. And certain people in the Bureau already thought *Mulder* was nuts...wouldn't do any good to have people thinking *both* of them were now. Especially now that she was going to take this baby. Rachel...it was such a cute name. She didn't have a middle name...Rachel was simply what the hospital staff had called her.
She's going to be my daughter... Scully thought, and for the first time in a long time felt a swell of pure happiness, albeit tempered by the knowledge that two of her friends were dying. Scully would be signed as Rachel's legal guardian until Jack and Julia's deaths, at which point she would formally adopt the girl.
"So?" Mulder prompted.
Scully shook her head, as if to clear it. "I'm sorry...what did you say?"
"Always nice to know you're hanging on my every word," Mulder deadpanned, his usual dry wit floating to the surface. "I asked you what's wrong with Julia and Jack."
"Oh," Scully replied. "Well...you know they work for the state, right? Maryland?"
"Yeah, I think you mentioned something about that once." Mulder had only ever met the Kalianses twice. What he knew about them, he had gotten from Scully.
"Well, about three months ago, they got a case outside Braddock Heights..."
"Ooh...Braddock Heights," Mulder interjected. "Interesting memories!"
She rolled her eyes, ignoring him. "And it involved what could have possibly been an abandoned shipment of some sort of virus. In a warehouse..."
"Outside Braddock Heights," Mulder finished. "I gotcha, go on."
"Well, it wasn't a virus," Scully explained, "but it was deadly nevertheless. Not bacteria, either...some other form of pathogen. Definitely manufactured. It was almost like a chimera, but not quite. There was no plant material that could be detected. And I know what you're thinking, so before you ask, no it was not found to be extraterrestrial in any way, shape or form."
"Ruin all my fun, why don't you?" Mulder teased. The look he got from her quickly informed him that her patience was wearing thin. Ah...he should've known better than to crack jokes like this, but he couldn't help it. It was a natural defense mechanism. Helped him deal with stuff. "Okay, okay, Scully--I'm sorry. What happened then?"
"They'd been told that this disease or whatever it was couldn't be spread except through blood-to-blood contact...that outside of blood, it was harmless. That's what everyone thought then...but they were wrong." Scully sighed, heavily. "One of the vials broke and it got on Jack's arm...they didn't know then that it could be absorbed through the skin."
"So he has it," Mulder realized, "and Julia got it from him."
"Yes," Scully confirmed. "She thinks it probably happened a couple of days later when he cut himself shaving and she helped to patch him up."
Mulder put an arm around Scully's shoulder in a friendly, supportive manner. "I'm sorry. I know you and Julia are fairly close."
"Thanks, Mulder," she replied, forcing a tiny little half-smile. "This contagion works at much the same speed as my cancer did...although different effects, of course. The victims *look* fine until the terminal stages...and it only takes four or five months to progress. It works quickly, let me tell you."
Mulder winced. Scully's battle with cancer was something her preferred not to think about or remember. That was the closest he had ever come in life to actually killing himself. He still felt as though he were to blame for the ordeal, but at least he'd been able to find the cure. She was healthy now, active, and vital as she had ever been. Perhaps even more so, considering that she had come face-to-face with her own mortality. On more than one occasion.
"What's her name again?" Mulder asked. "The baby, I mean."
"Rachel," Scully answered.
"Well," Mulder continued, "I think that having Rachel is going to do a lot of good for you. You'll be a wonderful mother, I haven't ever doubted that." He still felt he owed her a little something for at first telling her that he thought it would be better if she didn't take Emily. He had seen the look in her eyes. He'd known that had hurt her. It had been the truth, but sometimes the truth hurt. And Scully was the closest friend he'd ever had, ever would have. He didn't want to hurt her for anything.
Scully turned to look directly at him. "Then how come you didn't think I should adopt Emily?" It wasn't an accusation, just a simple question. Her voice had tightened noticeably...even after all this time, she still had trouble talking about it.
"I didn't want you to get hurt." Mulder walked over a bit closer to her, narrowing the gap between them--in more ways than one.
"You worry about me too much," she chided gently, smiling as she gathered up her things.
"Someone has to," Mulder countered. "I find I'm pretty good at it. You know what they say, stick with what you know."
Scully resisted the urge to rolled her eyes, but graced him with one of her rare smiles. "You *are* spooky. I'll see you later, all right? Have a nice weekend."
That's right, it was Friday. Mulder had forgotten all about it. Of course, he'd often been accused of being a workaholic before, so that was nothing new in and of itself. "Okay, sure. If I need your help researching some old obituaries tomorrow, I'll let you know." He couldn't resist the opportunity to tease her.
She responded by throwing a nearby magazine at him. "Don't even think about it. I would actually *like* to have a life."
"Thank you for all your support," Mulder retorted sarcastically, grinning as he picked up the magazine, which had come close to hitting his beloved "I Want To Believe" poster.
"Have fun with your baseball scores," Scully called on her way out.
Mulder just smiled. "It's so good to have friends sometimes." He thought about that for a moment. "Then, at least, you don't feel too guilty about harassing them mercilessly."
XXXXXXXX
Two weeks later...
XXXXXXXX
Never before in human history had any four adults standing in an airport been so anxious.
Baby Rachel was on an incoming plane that was due to arrive any second.
Jack was laughing. "Gee, Jewels...I just realized the best part of this whole deal! We get to cuddle her, spoil her, adore and pamper her...then hand her back to Dana!" He chuckled again.
"No, thank you," Scully responded amiably. "She'll get enough of that from my mother!"
"And mine," Julia pointed out.
"Aren't grandparents wonderful?" Mulder teased.
"I think it's their revenge on us," Julia sighed.
"What revenge?" Jack asked, innocently. "I was an angel!"
"Yeah, *sure* ya were, Jackie boy." Julia knocked her husband upside the head in a playful manner.
"Spousal abuse!" Jack protested.
Julia rolled her eyes. Scully, despite herself, started laughing.
"Marriage. It's great." Julia tossed her blonde hair back over one shoulder. "You oughtta try it sometime, Dane." She directed a meaningful look in Mulder's general direction.
Her friend's intent was not lost of the female FBI agent. "Yeah, Julia, sure. One of us would be dead within a month."
"And knowing my propensity to get my butt kicked," Mulder countered, having overhead, "I'm willing to bet it would be me. But I *have* asked her!"
"And you turned him down?!" Julia demanded. "What, are you crazy?"
"He wasn't serious," Scully insisted.
"You don't *know* that," Mulder called back. Before Scully could argue that, Jack's voice interrupted their "conversation".
"Hey, the plane's here!"
In short order, the four formerly anxious adults were now cooing at an adorable month old baby girl and discussing the basics of baby care. Mulder kind of edged out of the conversation after awhile, knowing absolutely nothing about babies, but he stuck around.
They ended up at a small coffee shop in Silver Spring, Maryland.
"So," Mulder began, "does this kid have a middle name?"
"No, not yet," Julia informed him. She ruffled Rachel's light reddish-brown hair. "We should decide that. Dana?"
"Oh, no," Scully replied. "You two have already given me so much...you pick her middle name."
"Lee," Jack said.
"Anne," Julia decided at the same time.
They looked at each other.
"How about Leanne?" Mulder suggested. Scully smiled at him. Leanne had been Melissa's middle name.
"I like it!" Julia declared. "Rachel Leanne...that's so cute!"
"I'm with her on this one," Jack agreed. He paused. "For once. Dana?"
"I think Rachel Leanne would be perfect," Scully said softly, still touched by Mulder's suggestion. Of course, it had been a fairly obvious answer, but just that he suggested it--knowing how close she had been to her sister...
"Yay, we agree." Julia looked down at the infant in her arms. "Well...Rachel Leanne...what do you think? Yes? No?"
Rachel yawned in her sleep in what had to be the most adorable way humanly possible.
Scully smiled. "I'll take that as a 'yes'."
XXXXXXXX
Before they knew it, time had passed, and Rachel was nearing the two-month-old mark. She was awake a little more, and more alert. Even Mulder had come to adore her. Heck, *everybody* adored her. Skinner's secretary indulged in peek-a-boo games with the little girl whenever she got the chance...even the AD himself would tickle her occasionally, when he was sure nobody was looking. Couldn't let down the ol' "boss" guard, now.
"Ray-chill," Scully cooed, having brought the baby by on the lunch hour. "Who's my baby girl? Whossit?"
Rachel responded with her usual baby-talk reply.
Mulder watched the two of them. Scully was the perfect mother, as he'd thought all along. She deserved this. It was unfortunate that two of her friends had to die to let her have it.
Rachel squealed with delight as she grabbed Scully's omnipresent cross necklace. Scully gasped slightly, the laughed as she freed the charm from the baby's fingers. "Don't choke Mommy, all right, sweetie?"
"She looks just like you," came a voice from the doorway. It was Julia.
Scully turned around, and grinned. She did that a lot these days...the "Ice Queen" façade had melted away the second Rachel had stolen her heart. A line from a song came to Mulder. He grinned at the thought.
"You told yourself years ago...
You'd never let your feelings show...
The obligation that you made--
For the title that they gave."
Well, to heck with that now! The name of the song was "I'd Love You to Want Me". It fit. He'd love her to want him, if she'd "only let it be".
Mulder realized a second later that Scully was speaking to him.
"So, what do you think, Mulder?"
"I think..." he started, cautiously. "That the *real* answer lies somewhere in between." Seemed safe enough.
It wasn't.
"Mulder, were you listening to a word I said? Do you want to go to lunch with Julie and I or don't you?"
"Oh!" Mulder exclaimed, feeling not a little foolish. "Yeah, sure."
"I can get Kim to watch Rae," Scully explained. "It'll be easier to get in and out that way."
"Sure," Julia concurred. "Does fast food sound okay? I've got to get back to work soon. Wendy's, perhaps?"
"Fine by me," Scully acquiesced. "I know Mulder won't mind."
"Sure don't."
"Then let me drop the baby off and we'll be good to go."
XXXXXXXX
Wendy's
Takoma Park, Maryland
"Dave Thomas and I ought to be close personal friends by now," Julia joked, biting a French fry. "I sure eat here enough."
Scully toyed with the remains of her salad. "Well, it's quick, it's cheap--considering the prices around here--and it's convenient."
"Amen," Julia sighed. "Mulder? You haven't said much."
"I just have a weird feeling about this..." Mulder admitted. "This whole situation, I mean. Like something bad's going to happen."
"That's spooky," Julia mused.
"That's my name, isn't it?" Mulder replied good-naturedly.
Julia pulled back sheepishly. "Oh, sorry...I forgot all about that. Personally, I don't see what's wrong with it. I think it's cute. I mean, I'd love it if my friends called me 'Spooky'."
"Let's just say that the name wasn't *given* by friends..." Mulder informed her, slowly, "and it's more their reasoning behind it that I don't like."
"Oh, I see. Sorry."
"It's okay."
As the conversation continued, Mulder's attention became fixed on a man who lingered near the counter. There was something strange about him...the agent barely had time to react when the guy whipped out a gun.
Customers began screaming, some started crying...some started praying. Mulder and Scully exchanged a glance. They weren't quite sure with whom they were dealing with. If they told him that they were federal agents, it might disconcert him enough to get him to give up. On the other hand, it could also make him begin shooting the place up.
While Mulder began giving the guy the usual FBI hostage situation pacification crap, Scully instinctively pushed Julia down.
The gunman rolled his eyes at Mulder's words. "Oh, come *on*. Where do you *get* this stuff? Some kind of script? Well, it's not going to work, buddy. I work for the God-Almighty-blessed state of Maryland! I know all about it!"
Julia gasped. This guy worked for the same place *she* did? That was always disturbing.
"So who is this pyschoburger?" Julia hissed. "Maybe I know him, but I can't see a thing from under this table!"
"It's safer for you," Scully assured her, "but I'll try to get a name." She remembered something about coaxing someone to give her a name in some bank...but she couldn't recall details. In fact, she was pretty sure it had never even happened. A dream, perhaps?
"Well, we need something to call you," she said, addressing the man with the weapon. "Is Steve okay? Sounds like a good name...maybe Bernard?" *Bernard*? Where had that come from? Steve was a catchall, but...Bernard?
The man chuckled. "You know, I like her better. She's funny. But I'm not afraid of who I am! My name is Fredrick L. Harvey. I was born January 25, 1959, in Provo, Utah! Anything else, Red?"
Scully rolled her eyes, knowing it was same to chance the gesture with a man like Harvey. Frohike was the only one who ever called her "Red", and she just barely allowed him to get away with it. "No, that's quite enough, thanks. And the name's Dana, get it right."
Mulder tried not to smile. This was certainly an unusual hostage situation if ever they'd had one.
But it all shattered in a moment. There was the sound of sirens in the distance. Whether an employee had called the police, or it was just happenstance didn't matter. Harvey snapped. And, unfortunately, Julia caught his eye.
"Ah!" he exclaimed, "the lovely Mrs. Kalians!" He was definitely a nutcase, no denying that. "You're upset with the whole system too, right? I mean, its their fault you're sick, right?"
"No," Julia told him, "it's just circumstance."
Harvey glared at her. "Wrong answer." He pulled the trigger, twice.
Mulder was a little closer, so he dived at Julia to protect her. He was half a second too late. The first bullet hit Julia; the second caught him in the arm.
More customers screamed. Scully even shrieked slightly as she saw her two friends go down in a blur of motion. And when she saw the blood. She rushed over.
"No, Red--I mean Dana," Harvey chided. "You stay there."
Scully didn't care at this point. "I'm a doctor! Let me help them!"
"Well..." Harvey agreed reluctantly, "all right."
Julia was bad. She'd been hit in the head, and was barely alive. Scully pulled the woman into her arms, offering her some comfort. There was nothing else she could do.
"Not just postal workers any more..." Julia managed.
Scully couldn't believe Julia was cracking jokes at a time like this. But, as she realized with a start, Mulder would have probably been doing the exact same thing.
"At least it's quick like this..." Julia whispered. And she died.
Snapping into her clinical mode, Scully had to try to set aside her grief for a moment. Mulder was hurt, too...and besides, the fewer hysterical people in there, the better. She went over to him.
"I'm okay," Mulder assured her.
"You're bleeding. That's not okay."
"It just took off some skin...I'll be fine." He half-smiled at her, trying to provide reassurance. "I'm sorry..."
"Later, Mulder," she whispered. If she accepted his condolences now, she'd be forced to face it. She couldn't do that...not until this crisis was past. Scully was very glad she hadn't brought Rachel after all.
"You know what, Red?" Harvey asked. Scully looked up. "I used to think you were cute. I mean entertaining cute, not good-looking cute. Although you *are* that. But you're not that entertaining anymore." He fired twice again.
Mulder watched in horror as Scully crumpled to the floor. He hurried over to her side.
"Scully?!"
Both of the bullets had caught her in the chest. She was fading fast.
"Oh, no..." he muttered. "Come on, hang on. We'll get through this."
"Take care...of Rachel..." Scully told him, as he cradled her petite body with his good arm, trying to use his other hand to stanch the flow of blood.
"Of course," he promised. "But you'll get through this."
"If..." she started to say.
"If what?"
"If I have to die today, I'm glad it's beside you." Her voice was heavy with weakness and pain, but her eyes betrayed strength unlike any other he'd ever seen from her.
"Oh, Scully..." Mulder sighed, oblivious to everything around them, "don't talk like that. You're going to be okay. You're going to make it."
But his promises were hollow. Moments later, she breathed her last. She died, right there, in his arms. Where she had been so many times before for comfort, solace.
"It's what was meant to be," someone had told Mulder once. Was this what was meant to be now? No...it was so wrong...
The police arrived, but Mulder never noticed. He no longer noticed the pain in his arm. The only thing he was aware of was the fact that his best friend was dead...but their friendship transcended usual bounds. Had he loved her? He couldn't say for sure at that exact moment, but he wanted to believe. Didn't he always?
Her last words, by far, haunted him most. "I'm glad it's beside you..."
XXXXXXXX
Sometime later, Mulder sat alone in his apartment. Alone except for Rachel. Rachel fussed slightly. She wanted her mother--or at least the woman she had come to know as her mother--but there was no way to make her understand that she was never coming back.
He looked down that the infant. "If only we could all be so innocent..."
Jack had all but given up after Julia had been killed...he didn't care about much anymore. True to his final promise to Scully, Mulder had taken Rachel home with him. He would take care of her now, raise her. And when she was old enough, he'd tell her of the horrible day that had taken the lives of Julia Kalians and Dana Scully, so she would know that they had not willfully abandoned her like her birth mother had. That she had been very much loved.
There had been an article in the paper about it...Mulder had kept it for future purposes, but he hadn't paid much attention to it. It didn't matter. Were it not for the fact that little Rachel needed him, Mulder might have given up much the same as Jack.
But he wouldn't. He couldn't. He'd made a promise.
A promise that he intended to keep.
A promise made to a woman who had meant so much to him--more than she ever could have known. A woman whose last wish was merely for him to be there with her when she'd died.
XXXXXXXX
(completed 5/27/00)
END NOTE: I realize that "Lilac's Last Bloom" might not make sense as a title to most people. And "Every Rose Has Its Thorn"...also by me, coincidence. Not all my character death (or fake character death, in "Rose"'s case) stories have flower names. The title of this one is from a Walt Whitman poem, "When Lilacs Last in the Dooryard Bloomed". It was about the death of Abraham Lincoln...the whole lilac thing was symbolic. Forgive me, Whitman fans, but I think the man was on crack. (I'm not a free verse fan.)
However, the title seemed to work for this story, so...
--Kate