Okay, green tea and cookie dough is the new red bull.
Naruto (c) Masashi Kishimoto
The Little Mermaid (c) Disney who ripped it off from Hans Christian Anderson.
Sasuke stared at his friend, defeated on the ground. Naruto followed him, so Naruto was to blame for this, right? Sasuke shut his eyes and cringed. His only friend was now on the ground, on the verge of death. A tear ran down his cheek as he ran away from Naruto's limp body. Could this all be worth it?
He found Orochimaru's lair and wandered inside. Looking around, he saw a tall figure sitting on a stool and working at a small lab table.
"Don't dawdle, it's rude." The figure swiveled around and there sat Orochimaru.
"What can I help you with, darling?"
"I need power," Sasuke said, standing up straight. "To kill a certain someone."
"Your brother! Darling I understand." Orochimaru stood up and started examining Sasuke. He was a little bony, but he could work with that.
"The only way you can get what you want is to become evil yourself!" He said, stroking his chin.
"Can you help me?" Sasuke asked anxiously.
"My dear, sweet child. That's what I do. It's what I live for.
To help unfortunate ninja like yourself.
Poor souls with no one else to turn to…"
Orochimaru glided towards Sasuke and placed a finger on the young ninja's nose. A spotlight suddenly shined down and music came out of nowhere as he waltzed around the lair.
"I admit that in the past I've been a nasty…
They weren't kidding when they called me, well, a snake.
But you'll find that nowadays,
I've mended all my ways.
I'm a genuine Sannin, that's no mistake.
Oh yes!"
And I fortunately know a little jutsu
It's a talent that I always have possessed.
and dear Sasuke, please don't laugh,
I use it on behalf,
Of the miserable, the lonely, and depressed (pathetic...)
Poor unfortunate souls…
in pain, in need!
This one longing to for acceptance
This one wants to learn my arts
And do I help them?
Yes, indeed!
Those poor unfortunate souls…
So sad, so true.
They come flocking to my lair crying, 'Jutsu, Oro, please!'
And I help them!
Yes I do!"
The lighting changed from a white spotlight to a red one. Orochimaru twisted a lock of hair around his finger.
"Now it's happened once or twice
Someone wouldn't pay the price
And I'm afraid I had to curse with the mark...
Yes I've had the odd complaint,
But on the whole I've been a saint,
To those poor unfortunate soooouuuuuls"
"Now…" Orochimaru fixed his yellow eyes on Sasuke. "Do we have a deal?"
"But, if I join you…" Sasuke said in a low voice. "I'll never see my friends or teammates again.
"But you'll have your revenge, heh heh. Life's full of tough choices, isn't it?" Orochimaru crouched down so their eyes were level, and winked.
"Oh, and there is one more thing, we haven't discussed the subject of payment!"
"But I don't have…" Sasuke reached into his pocket.
"I'm not asking much, just a token really, a trifle!
What I want from you is - your body."
"What the FCK?! How can I get my revenge if I don't-"
"I like your looks, your pretty face,
And don't underestimate the importance of Sharingan, HA!!!"
I don't need your abilities quite yet.
I'll wait till you grow up a bit and then,
When you're done training with me, then you'll be my new body
And after all dear, you'll kill your brother, and then?
Come on, after your goal is completed
You will need to repopulate your clan
I can take over that part.
This jutsu is my art
It's a handsome one that snags a good woman!
Come on you poor unfortunate soul!
Go ahead!
Just conform!
I'm a very busy Sannin and I haven't got all day.
It won't cost much,
Just your form!
You poor unfortunate soul,
It's sad but true!
If you want to cross the bridge, my sweet,
You've got the pay the toll
Take a gulp and take a breath
And go ahead and sign the scroll!"
Orochimaru held up a sealing scroll. Sasuke bit his thumb and used the blood to put a thumbprint in the center.
"Kabuto, now I've got my boy!
The boss is on a roll!
This poor unfortunate SOOOOUUULLLL!"
Thunder cackled in the background as Orochimaru laughed maniacally and waved the scroll above his head. Kabuto appeared behind Sasuke and dragged him off screen. When they returned, Sasuke was wearing the official uniform of a wrap shirt and purple ass bow.
"He's gorgeous!" Orochimaru squealed and ran a finger down Sasuke's exposed abs. He drew a kunai and held it to Orochimaru's throat.
"Watch it, Uchiha. You belong to me now, remember?"
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