Title: Come Home To Me
Author: IndigoNight
Summary: I watch you tell your friends to leave you alone, that you're fine. I see all of your empty smiles, and I see through them. I hear you when you think your alone, I watch you cry. I could kill myself for the pain I've caused you, but I'm already dead.
Feedback: Yes please, YAY reviews!
Pairings: HarryxDraco
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or the characters I'm just borrowing them for fun.
Spoilers: Nope
Warnings: Slash, AU
Author's Note: So, random idea I had. Just to clear things up that are never specifically stated: Draco is the one talking, he turned spy for the Order, and Harry is the one he's talking to. So, read, review.
Enjoy!
"I love you. I'm not afraid."
I don't remember when it truly started. I never noticed as it was happening. Just one day, I looked up and there you were. After that it was just a blur of body parts. And then there was us.
We were young; we were desperate, war ravaged and afraid. But most of all, we were in love.
I remember all of the fights we had. How you would, often less than patiently, teach my to defy my upbringing and my nature. I remember the look on your friend's faces when we first told them.
I remember that whole day so clearly. I held your hand as we approached them. I was afraid, though I'd never admit to it. What was I afraid of you ask? Of loosing you of course. I was afraid that your friends would show you reason, make you realize that you didn't really love me, and then I would be alone again. I've always secretly feared that.
Your friends certainly weren't happy of course. I could see it in their eyes, their surprise, their confusion, their disgust. But you stood by me, and in the end I think they accepted that I had changed, that you had changed me.
I remember most clearly, and fatefully, your expression when I told you my plan, how I intended to help with the war. When I told you that I was going back.
"You can't!" you insisted, "It's too dangerous! He'll kill you!" But I was determined to do my part.
"Don't worry for me," I promised you, "I'll always come home to you." That was the promise I made, and that is the promise I still intend to keep.
You don't believe me.
I see you, bent with grief, crying for your broken heart. But I'm here love; I'm always here, with you. You can't see me, but I know you can hear me, somewhere, deep down, you do. I wrap my arms around you and brush away your tears, but you can't feel me. You don't know me.
I watch you tell your friends to leave you alone, that you're fine. I see all of your empty smiles, and I see through them. I hear you when you think your alone, I watch you cry. I could kill myself for the pain I've caused you, but I'm already dead.
You blame yourself, I know you do. I hear it as you call out in your sleep, I hear you mutter it when they turn their backs, I see it in every tear you shed. But it isn't, it could never be my fault.
You think you shouldn't have let me go back, as if you could have stopped me. You think you should have kept me safe by your side. But that wouldn't have saved me love; nothing could have saved me from my fate.
It may have been my fate to die, but nothing can keep us apart, nothing, not even fate. Just hold on, hold on until I find my way back to you. They say it can't be done, but I'll find a way. I'll always come home to you love.
I'm fighting love, I am. I'm clinging to life, to you, for you are my life.
You're in your room now, with the excuse that you're tired and need rest. Technically, that is not a lie. Your door is lock, which means you truly allow yourself to break down. I watch you as you crumple onto the bed, your arms wrapped around yourself, holding your chest together as you sob.
I hold you in my arms. Do you remember when you held me this way? When I was scared and hurting, after I came back from answering his call. I was broken then, as you are broken now. I try to comfort you now the way you did me then, but you don't hear me.
Just as you've cried yourself out and you're fading away into the world of unconsciousness, the only world you love these days, some thing changes, some whisper of my words reach your ears and you open your eyes again.
"Draco?" you whisper into the dark.
"Yes," I breathe, hardly daring to hope as I stroke your face, "I'm here."
"I miss you."
"I never left."
"Come back to me."
"I'm trying, love, I am."
"I love you."
"More than you know."
And then you are gone, limp in my arms. That's when I discovered that dead men can cry.
"I swear," I whisper into your deaf, sleeping ear, "I love you. I will find a way back to you. And if I can't, then I'll never leave you, I'll stay here with you like this forever. You'll never be alone. I promise you, I promise love, I'll always come home to you."