Sea Green, See Blue
"Won't you miss me?" you said inside the airport. One of my bags was thrown over your shoulder, I held the other. I knew it was just another little thing you did. Trying to keep me here longer. Trying to get me to stay. It made me question why I was leaving in the first place. It made me wonder what I was doing here. In this busy airport about to leave you.
"No." I told you with a smile. You knew I was kidding. You smiled back and playfully punched my arm. I would miss those punches.
But you were leaving too. Even if I wanted to stay in this town, it wouldn't be the same. It wouldn't have you. You were headed for LA to study your art. I was headed half way across the world to fufill childhood fantasies. Fantasies we would talk about when we were young and wild. Laying in hammock swings, telling each other our dreams and wishing we were always older. So we could drive. So we could date. So we could drink. So we could leave this town. We never considered the fact that we would leave each other.
I watched your brown eyes find your feet. Your Converses faded and more grey than black. I'd written 'Lilly Own's' on the white toes in black permanent marker. It was still there, but barely. You'd gotten so mad at me for 'ruining' your brand new shoes then. Now, I could see the comfort you found in looking down at them, seeing my name there. It made me smile to myself. I always found comfort in being your best friend. But I would never tell you that.
You looked back up at me. Your eyes red from holding back tears. Mine were the same. I'd only seen you cry once before in your life. You'd seen me cry twice. For the first time in our lives together we were both at a lost for words. This moment was surreal. A joke. As if, when I turned to go on that plane, I would wake up, 13 and panting hard from this dream. I'd always imagined us together till the very end. Growing old together. Not married. Not romantically. But together. You in one rocking chair, me in the other. Getting an apartment and moving in. Painting the walls lime green, playing our music too loud and getting yelled at by the other residence. Saving enough money to buy a nice house. The only hot pink one on the block. But we were here, miles away from that fantasy, in a busy airport. We were going our seperate ways for the first time in our lives. I was leaving you. You were leaving me. And, although I knew better, it felt like forever.
"September 2nd to April 13th," you told me. "But who's counting?" Your cheeks wrinkled to make room for your pattened smile. I knew it was only so you wouldn't cry. Strange how I knew everything about you.
The next time I would be back would be April 13th. Spring Break. The next time I would get to see your smiles again. Feel your hugs. Act like your punches hurt me. Smell that old firmilar beach smell I remember about you since pre-k. April 13th. My plane ticket felt heavy in my sweaty hands. This plane ticket that I didn't want. It was my ticket out of this town. But my ticket away from the only person I'd ever truly loved. But I would never tell you that.
Tears found their way to my eyes. And you shook your head.
"We'll have none of that Lilly Truscott," you said, and took me into a hug. I felt your body move through my coat, holding me closer to you. You knew that was all that I needed. I cried silently on your shoulder. I hated crying. I always felt like it made you uncomfortable. I never liked it when you weren't at ease. But you held me tight, and stroked my hair, muttering calm reassurances in my ear. You held me until I finally had to pull away. I knew if I didn't, I would have never let go. I would have made you take me home. I would have hated myself for have ever thinking I could leave. And I would have hated myself for not leaving. And I would have made you stay with me. And you would have. You always put me first, and somehow that broke my heart. I had to go.
The AC blew down from the vent above us. It gave no comfort from the fleeting California summer. I whipped away the tears, along with the beading sweat. I missed the winter time and all of the nights we spent up, waiting on Santa. You were the first to learn he wasn't real. I knew you were right, I just chose not to believe you. I missed our trips to the movies, and arguing about the plot afterwards at Pete's Pizza. The days we spent at the beach, where we had surfing competitions. Miley was the worst judge. I missed the times you always acted 'ghetto' when you were really one of the most blessed kids on the block. I'd always roll my eyes and laugh. The arcade, when the heat got to be too much. I know you let me win at air hockey all those times. I missed the nights we layed on your roof and named all the stars. I would always fall asleep after the 56th one. The boring days when we slid down the big hill on cardboard. It never snowed, so we made do. I missed the day when I first met you. You tapped on my shoulder and asked for the blue crayon. I don't remember that day. But you do. You would always tell me stories that I could never remember. I never knew if they were true. I always trusted you that they were.
"Go." you told me. "It won't be long before April," I knew it was a lie. April would take forever. You were just trying to convince yourself of what you were trying to convince me. I was starting a part of my life that didn't include you. And you, the same. I didn't want any part of my life that you weren't apart of. I stood and looked at you one last time. That image would be the last thing I had to hold onto before my hard days ahead.
"Go. And don't miss me," you said. I reached for my bag on your shoulder and you hesitated for a moment before you handed it over.
"I won't," I lied with a forced smile. It was the only thing that kept the tears away. You did the same. My flight number was called somewhere in the background of this dream I was living. My heart fell to the pit of my stomach. You gave me a nod and a wavering smile. I knew you wanted me to leave before you started crying. You were on the verge.
I turned to go. My footsteps silent but heavy. My feet were in cement blocks. I wasn't sure if my ticket would go through the machine from my soaking, sweaty palms. I prayed it wouldn't. My brain started searching for a way out of this insanity. I dared not look back at you. This plane was going to take me far far away. To places they go in fairytales. You told me once, that when I was younger, I wanted to be a princess. I was too tomboy-ish then, and deny it completely. I told you that you made it up. But I knew it was true. I always dreamed of my own fairytale. Somewhere far away from our modern town with the busy streets and busy people. I always wanted to get away. Wanted to leave. Now, I wanted nothing more than to run back to you. My home. My bed. My old swingset. My surfboard. I turned back to see you one last time. I needed to see you one last time. You stood there, the summer sun silhouetting you until my eyes became use to the light. A hurting smile was ingraved on your face, heartbreak in your eyes. You could never hide anything from me. My breath caught in my throat.
It's then that I ran back to you. I needed one hug. One more word. One more breath. One more smell of your shirt. I ran into your embrace and you held me tightly, as if you would never let me go. Even though we both knew you would have to. I buried my face into your chest and sobbed. I was leaving everything. But in that moment, I didn't care about everything. I only cared about you. You squeezed me tightly and all my fears vanished. You had a way of doing that. I was standing here, leaving my everything. You were everything I'd always had to fall back on. There wasn't a memory I had without you there by my side. You were my best friend. My hero. But I would never tell you that.
You lightly kissed my cheek, brushing my tears away. I could hear your heart beat in your chest. Your strong arms wrapped around me. I regretted every single thing I'd ever said. I'd always said them too softly.
"I love you Oken." I told you. It was the truth. I always had. Maybe not in the way of fairytales. Where they fall in love and live happily ever after. I didn't love you like a prince. Or a boyfriend. Or a husband. I loved you like a person would love a best friend. Like a person would love someone that has made you everything you are. Like a person would love someone who's been by them, through hell and back. Like a person would love an Oliver.
And you said what you always used to say. When you always tried to out do me one. You held me close and I finally felt a silent tear fall from your cheek to mine.
"I love you more, Truscott."
Based off the song 'Sea Green, See Blue' by Jaymay. Not a songfic...but sort of. Her lines are her's, I merely wrote a story from her genius. All credit goes to her and disney. Hope you enjoyed and Reviews are welcome!