"What Hurts The Most"
Another depressing BeckendorfXSilena fic, based on the song by Rascall Flatts.
Enjoy.
I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don't bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok
But that's not what gets me
I scream into my pillow, wallowing in remorse and anger.
He shouldn't have gone on that mission!
I should have warned him!
I should've stopped before it got too far!
I shouldn't have listened to Luke.
I shouldn't have killed him.
I shouldn't have murdered my Charlie!
What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin' to do
Why couldn't it have been me?
Why couldn't I have died?
Why couldn't Charlie be alive right now?
He didn't deserve to die.
If anything, I don't deserve anything I have.
Friends.
Beauty.
To live.
I deserve to go to The Fields of Punishment!
I deserve to DIE!
It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I'm doin' It
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken
"Sil, Sil, are you okay?" a dainty voice rings out.
It's my younger sister Rebecca.
"I-I'm fine," I lie, voice muffled by my pillow.
I hear her sigh.
"If you need me, just call."
"T-th-thanks, B-b-becca." I choke on my words.
"No problem."
I hear footsteps as she walks out the door of the cabin. Then,
"What'd she say?"
"Is she okay?"
Rebecca sighs again,
"No."
"Why not?" groans Marcus.
"Marcus, it takes time for a broken heart to heal." comes Chantay.
Marcus groans.
"But it's driving me crazy! I need to take a shower, but Silena's crying! I don't get it! Why do we all have to leave every time she decides to flood the cabin?"
Silence.
Then,
SMACK!
"Shutup, she can hear you! Do you want to make her feel worse?" hisses Rebecca.
"No, but she's been like this for TWO WEEKS now!"
What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do
"Charlie…" I whisper to myself, still sobbing.
His name, so familiar, yet so depressing and morbid. It only brings back memories, and with them, pain.
What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And then I know what I have to do.
Slay the Drakon.
I will slay that Drakon for Charlie…
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do
…even if it's the last thing I do.Not seeing that loving you
That's what I was trying to do…_
And so ends another depressing Beckelina fic! Hope you liked it. See that purty button right there? Yes, the one that says review. Click it!