It seemed simple enough. You hunt it, you find it, and then you kill it. Ha, ha, ha. Not that simple. It's more like: You hunt it, you find it, you kill it, and then you run away screaming bloody murder because his comrades came after you. Yeah, really simple.

As if being a Night Elf wasn't hard enough with all those traditions you need to uphold, I'm a Demon Hunter on top of that. Wonderful. Well, it seemed wonderful at the time, but then you get poked and prodded because, "Oi! Why a blind man like you be needing an inn?" Great, another night of sleeping under a tree.

I didn't feel any pain during the whole "Go—burn—your—eyes—out—at—a—ritual—because—that's in—the—job—description" thing, mainly because I had overdosed on Advil a few hours before. I would weasel people into thinking I was sick just to get the drugs. Boy, those gnomes are going to kill me. I still haven't handed them the five gold I owed them. Hopefully they're dead by now, though, since that was…oh, about a thousand years ago. Not that I still do it, though.

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I faked a cough and stumbled over to Tinker Town in Ironforge. Ah, there they were, the gnome medics. Hopefully they wouldn't recognize me from the last twenty five times I was over today. I sneezed again and shuffled over.

"Hello, you're a tall one!" The gnome commented. "Yeth, yeth," I faked another cough, and then said, "Do you happen," another sneeze, "to have any Advil?"

"Why yes, we do!" the gnome exclaimed cheerfully, handing a slightly square bottle over the counter. "That would be twenty silver!"

"I'm afraid I won't be able to pay you today becauthe," a cough, "I thpent my money on taking care of my wife and kidths. They all have coldths, too, you thee—"

"It's okay, as long as you pay me later!" The gnome said merrily, pushing the Advil into my hand, "I know how you feel, because I have a wife and kids, too!" I nodded wearily, and shuffled into the tram district, and jumped up into the air out of joy when I was out of the gnome's sight.

I stuffed the bottle of Advil into my backpack, which now carried quite a few other bottles and the debris of several other disguises I had used earlier in the day. Heck, I had even made myself look like the kid king of Stormwind who needed to get some weak child's Aspirin for a even weaker headache that refused to go away.

Man, those gnomes can be so stupid, I thought as the tram started picking up speed as it went through the underground tunnels, they would just hand Aspirin to a kid who had no one watching him? Might as well hand a bomb to an Orc. All the sudden the tram shuddered and then slowed to a stop and water started dripping on my shoulder. Oh come on, I thought, on the damn day I'm going to get my damn eyes burned out from the damn Warlock the damn roof leaks and the damn tram breaks down.

Then I looked up. Big mistake. Water started gushing at an enormous pace and hammered me right in the eye. "Dammit all!" I yelled, staggering backwards and trying to rub the water out. Then it started to leak from another bolt. And another. And another. Pretty soon I was soaked and the tunnel was flooding.

Yeah, emergency escape from the tram wasn't something I had planned. I ran like hell, and running uphill while its flooding and you're barefoot isn't easy to do, I must say. "Hey gnome! Over there! Will you help me?!" I yelled, and she just giggled. Evidently she thought a guy trying to run uphill with the water rising was enormously funny, as long as she wasn't the one doing it.

"Please help, dammit! As you can tell I'm an idiot Night Elf who doesn't know his way around this place!" I yelled, slipping back down the slope. She smiled, and then pointed across the tram tracks to a door that read in bright, bold red letters, "EMERGENCY ESCAPE".

"Have fun!" She giggled again, and skipped along on her own merry way. My head dropped and hung there for a few seconds, ashamed at my own stupidity. I pulled myself up to the side to the tram track and walked through the door, which, unsurprisingly enough, lead to yet another dark tunnel. Brilliant!

I had to walk all five miles underground back to Ironforge, as if running in place on that hill wasn't enough. And then, when I got to the other tram, you'll never guess what happened.

"No! Wait for me! I didn't run all this way just to be left behind!" Yeah, I was trying to run alongside the tram, because by the time I got there it was already leaving for Stormwind. "In the name of Elune, will you stop!?" The tram whistled past me, its green lights flashing in my face. "Wonderful, even inanimate objects spite me." I said to no one in particular, slumping across the bench next to me.

At least I still have my Advil, I thought gloomily, and opened my backpack to check on the horde of bottles. Oh, hell no. All of the bottles were soaking wet. Shit. I opened one of them and poured the contents into my hand, if you could even call it contents. The capsules were completely dissolved, making a wonderful paste that refused to stop clinging to my hand.

The powder that was in the capsules was no different. All of my precious Advil that I had worked all day to horde had now gone down the drain. All of the bottles were ruined, and I was screwed out of my Advil. My Advil!

I sighed and rummaged through one of the side pockets, when my hand touched something cold. And wet. And slimy. Because you just couldn't have anything that wasn't soggy after escaping a flooding tunnel. I grimaced and pulled whatever it was out.

The thing that met my gaze was, surprise surprise, another bottle of Advil. I opened this one and—even bigger surprise—none of the pills were dissolved. Yes! I popped a few into my mouth and waited for the tram, reading the WARNING label on the vial: "CAUSES SUBSTANTAIL BUT TEMPORARY EYE INJURY AND CAN IRRITATE SKIN. FOR USERS WITH SENSITIVE SKIN USE GLOVES."

What!? I scratched away at that warning label with my fingernails until another one shown through: "CAUTION: HARMFUL IF INHALED. AVOID BREATHING VAPORS. AVOID CONTACT WITH EYES OR CLOTHING." They expected me to inhale the damn pills?! Confused and annoyed, I scratched away at this label also, revealing: "CONGRATULATIONS! YOU JUST WON POWERBALL'S ONE MILLION DOLLAR JACKPOT!!! SCRATCH HERE FOR DETAILS."

What the hell was the whole dollar thing about? Everything here was paid for in gold, silver, and copper. I scratched away at this label, making: "QUEBEC50 HAS TRICKED YOU, AND HAS EATEN YOUR BRAINS. YOU HAVE NOW JOINED HIS ARMY OF SHAMBLING, GREY SKINNED UNDEAD." Show up. And then, under this, in smaller text, "QUEBEC50 HAS EATEN 18,294,327 BRAINS. YOURS TASTED A BIT FUNNY."

Since when did Undead even have skin? I rubbed this label off, only to have yet another meet my gaze. "THIS DEVICE COMPLIES WITH PART 15 OF THE FCC RU—" Just then, the tram pulled in. Not being a complete idiot, I jumped onto it and wolfed down a few more Advils. A few? More like ten.

I read the warning label as the tram sped up, also thinking in the back of my mind how that Warlock would kill me because I was late.

This was going to be one hell of a day.