Disclaimer: IZ does not belong to me.
"UGH!"
The Irken invader sighed, collapsing on the ground. An Earth summer day. Not only was there no skool to attend, but he had no plans of invasion. Even if he did, it was too hot to carry them out!
Gir wasn't too helpful either. "Aw, what's wrong, mastah?" Not for the first time, and probably not for the last, Zim felt like strangling the SIR unit. "Are you tired?"
"Not tired, Gir. HOT. It's too hot to do anything but bake!" The invader barked at his servant. Gir didn't seem to take offense, though. In fact, he giggled and grabbed his feet, rolling on the ground. Zim sighed; Gir was still Gir, no matter the temperature. Zim's tolerance for Gir's antics was what changed.
And to make matters worse, a certain big-headed human was there, watching them through binoculars in the neighboring tree. With precision aiming, Zim's PAK tentacle shot out, breaking the branch Dib was balancing on, causing the paranormal investigator to fall, screaming the whole way down. Zim snickered. "Nice, human. I'd give it a... seven."
"Glad I could amuse you," Dib grumbled, getting to his feet slowly. Zim smiled, not getting Dib's sarcasm.
"Of course, pitiful Earth-worm. Don't you have anything better to do?" The last part was asked with a note of genuine curiosity. Zim was, above all things, a scientist, and tended to treat real life as an experiment.
The human shrugged. "Eh, not really. It's too hot to do anything of significance. Spying on you may be cooler than trying to break into your base, but it's still hot."
Irken fingers met the young alien's mouth as he stroked his chin in thought. "Well, the mall is air conditioned, though it's probably packed..."
Dib cocked his head to the side. "So?"
"We can go there." Dib snorted.
"And do what? Battle? No offense, Zim, but that's a bad idea, even for you." The Irken tried not to growl. Somehow he succeeded, and calmly responded:
"No, Dib-stink. I have a slightly different idea. A bet!"
"A bet?"
"A bet! Today we will act," Here, Zim's eyes narrowed, as he muttered the forbidden word of doom. "Normal."
Gir, who was nosing around in a nearby trashcan, poked his head out and gasped loudly. Some nearby skool children stopped what they were doing and also gasped. Even a couple of nearby squirrels, who were fighting over an acorn, also stopped and starred at the two. Dib's eyes widened as he stared at the Irken, whom he was now certain was crazy.
"Are you feeling alright?" The human asked, placing his hand on Zim's forehead. He quickly drew it back. "You're burning up!"
Zim didn't bother suppressing his growl this time. "I'm fine! It's your Earthly summer sun that's baking Zim into a crisp! Here me out." He raised his hands. "Just for one day, we act like normal Earth children 'hanging out'. No invasions, no autopsies, no destroying each other for one day. That way, we can avoid the heated outdoors."
Dib raised an eyebrow. "And the penalty for losing the bet?"
"Well," Zim smirked evilly, tapping the tips of his claws together. "The loser, as you have so delicately put it, will be at the winner's mercy for three hours. Plenty of time for death... or an autopsy. So," He extended his three fingered claw. "Do we have a deal?"
Matching Zim's smirk, Dib shook his hand. "Deal."
Entering the mall was less complicated than the two enemies thought. There were some kids from their skool, but mostly nobody cared about the green boy and 'crazy' boy. This lessened the complications the two would face, but the beginning was still awkward. After all, spending a day with your enemy isn't something most people go through. Then again, most people don't have enemies.
Sitting on the bench and no longer hot, Dib was about to comment on boredom when Zim asked, "Are video games normal?"
Dib nodded. "Yeah, in fact they're pretty popular... why?" Zim silently pointed to the arcade across the hallway. The glowing lights from inside did seem better then boredom, so Dib agreed and found himself dragged in before he finished saying 'okay'.
As it turns out, Zim was pretty good at video games. Well, that was probably because of his Irken training, but even on games like Pacman, Zim showed a remarkable talent. Even on Dib's favorite game, Exterminator -guess what it's about- he was surprised at how well Zim performed. The two were neck and neck for the high score.
"C'mon, c'mon!" Dib yelled at his character. Silly, I know, but he couldn't lose to Zim. Especially at a game about the extermination of an extraterrestrial race invading Earth. The two virtual guns released a large amount of bullets before time ran out. Dib: 16,000. Zim: 16,100.
The human felt like brooding, when Zim surprised him by extending his claw. "Nice game, Dib. Close, too." Though initially suspicious, Dib accepted the extended hand, remembering their promise. And he couldn't appear anything but normal either, and a normal person would shake hands with their opponent.
Dib's stomach rumbled, which both heard -much to Dib's embarrassment. He grinned nervously, chuckling and rubbing the back of his neck. "How about some food?"
Zim eyed Dib carefully. "Alright..."
The two stopped for lunch at the food courts. A McMeaties, as well as other restaurants, stationed in the mall showed off all sorts of foods. Dib got a McMeaties, while Zim patiently watched him eat it. "Don't you want anything?" Dib asked. Zim raised one fake eyebrow, as if to say, are you serious?
"I'm allergic to most human foods, remember? That's something that can't be helped." Silently, Zim prayed Dib wouldn't turn this into an abnormality and autopsy him. Luckily, Dib nodded and continued feasting on what Zim commonly referred to as 'human garbage'.
Eventually, Dib finished and dragged Zim to a stand selling Ice Cream. "What now, Dib?" Zim's question went unanswered as Dib instead ordered two vanilla cones. Once handed to him, he gave one to Zim. "And what, pray tell, is this?"
"Ice Cream. It's pretty good." To demonstrate, he licked his own cone a few times. He then saw Zim wasn't eating. "Want me to lick that for you? Cause I will."
"NO! I will eat this 'ice cream' and decide for myself whether or not it is worth my while, and your Earth monies." Zim cautiously stuck his tongue out, running it along the creamy white treat. In mid-lick, he paused, his eyes becoming wide. Ignoring Dib's snickering, he licked and licked. "This is amazing!" He proclaimed, before going back to consumption.
Dib stopped snickering. "Zim? Slow down, dude, or you're gonna get-"
"AEII! MY BRAIN MEATS!" The Irken cried, holding his head. "I AM ALLERGIC TO THIS STUFF! WHY DID I LISTEN TO YOU?"
"You've got brain freeze, idiot. Stick your thumb -or one of your fingers- on the roof of your mouth. Like so." Dib stuck his thumb on the roof of his mouth, and Zim, with no other option, followed suit. A moment later, he sighed in a relaxed manner. "See? All better, huh?"
"Ye-es... oh! What's that?" He pointed across from the food court. Dib followed his finger.
"Rock climbing?" Dib knew where this was going. "Now, Zim, I know what you're thinking, and-" He was cut off as the Irken grabbed his hand, pulling him as they moved quickly to the rock climbing wall.
"ZIM!" Dib wondered, for the umpteenth time, why he let Zim talk him into this one. He remembered a 'no' and a 'pwease, Dib?' and maybe some puppy dog eyes. That didn't matter now, though, as he was almost at the top; hanging on for his life. Zim, sitting patiently at the top, laughed. After all, normal kids do laugh at pathetic sights.
"C'mon, Dib! I made it to the top; you can too!" After a moment's internal struggle, he reached and grabbed the next ledge, hoisting himself up. Time after time, and Zim either laughed or cheered with each slow move made.
Eventually, Dib joined Zim on the top. "About time, slowpoke."
"Hey," Dib protested. "Not all of us are trained for the military from birth!" Zim snickered, slapping Dib on the back, and causing the human to almost fall. "HEY! Careful, moron."
"Oh," Zim looked up nonchalantly. "I'm sorry. You mean like... THIS!" Without much forewarning, Zim pushed Dib forward, causing him to fall. Luckily, he was still wearing his harness and more or less was carried down. He touched down, followed shortly by Zim, who jumped.
The human walked up to Zim, grabbing him by the shirt and shaking him. "WHAT was THAT all about?" The Irken rolled his eyes.
"Relax, human, the harness would have saved you. I'm not an idiot, I knew what would happen." Dib glared harshly, but put Zim down.
"That's it; no more dangerous stuff."
"Fair enough," Zim agreed. "So... what now?"
Dib shrugged. "I dunno... rent a movie?"
The two walked into the movie rental house. Dib was immediately drawn to a few movies on the far side of the store, while Zim walked up to the person manning the desk, asking which movies were considered 'normal'.
"Just about anything. Except the kiddie movies like 'Happy Unicorn Mountain'." Both Zim and the desk person shivered. Dib walked over, carrying a movie about a post-apocalyptic civilization, and overheard their conversation.
He joined in. "Man, not even a two year old girl would like that garbage! No human would!" The others nodded in agreement. Clearly when it came to tastes in movies, at least they could agree on some stuff.
"OOH! Happy Unicorn Mountain! GIMME!" The DVD disappeared from the hands of the manager, reappearing in the arms of the beloved and hated boy, Keef. He smiled in a creepy manner at the Irken and human. "I can see you two are still the best of friends!. Mind if I take this?"
"It's all yours." Zim confirmed. Keef payed for it and left the store, completely unaware of the three sets of eyeballs watching his back. Once he was gone, Zim and Dib shivered.
"There is something wrong with that kid." The person at the desk said. "But what?"
"I wish I knew." Dib told him, and the two payed for their movie and left, keeping a careful lookout for Keef all the way to Dib's house.
"Stupid idiots! AVOID the giant squid until you have the weapons to FIGHT it!" Zim yelled vainly at the screen as the heroes, three humans and a dog, attempted to cross a small ocean complete with a giant squid guardian. Dib, who never paid attention to these movies when Gaz got them, suddenly found himself enamored by it.
He even yelled things out with Zim. "C'mon, the weak point is OBVIOUSLY his only eye!" The heroes ignored the advise of the two observers, trying instead to harpoon it through the chest, where it was heavily armored. "You're right, Zim, they ARE idiots."
"Well, they are human." The Invader responded.
Dib's eye twitched. "Ignoring that."
"SON!" The invader and human turned back, to find Dib's father in the doorway. Dib's eyes widened behind his glasses. His dad was supposed to be at a convention in Turkey, not home. "Why, I didn't know you had a friend over. I would have brought more pizza."
At the mention of the word 'pizza' Gaz came running. She halted at the base of the stairs. "Don't you two hate each other?"
Zim stared at her, expression betraying no emotion. "Why yes, yes we do."
She rolled her eyes, attention shifting back to her video game. "Whatever. Just don't kill each other at dinner, okay?"
"Actually, I'd better get going. Walk with me, Dib." Grabbing Dib's arm, the two left the house of the Dib-human. After walking a block, Zim turned to Dib. "Well, that was... weird. But a nice way to spend the day, I'll admit."
"Yeah," Dib agreed. Then he remembered who he was talking to. "The bet's over, right?" Zim nodded. "Well, try anything tomorrow, and I'll be there to stop you!" He took off. "And don't try anything tonight, because I'll be there!"
Zim watched Dib march off, sighing when he knew the human was gone. "I was right. All humans ARE idiots, in their own way. Dib, you didn't notice that if we were normal...
"...we could've been friends." With that last note, Zim took a sparing look at his enemy's house, before taking off. He didn't look back.
...angsty towards the end. Take it from a human; all of us are idiots in our own way. I tend to miss a lot of obvious stuff.
Have a good day! Adios!