Carried stared at the magazines Charlotte had bought over. The front covers were packed with pictures of new mothers and their bundles of joy. She knew she should feel something, an emotion but she just felt numb inside. This was Biggs one chance to have a baby, a child of his own, but it had never been Carries life aspiration to become a mother.

"Ah, look at this? The bassinette would look adorable over by the window, and you could hand cute yellow curtains up and make it a little nursery corner." Charlotte had been extremely enthusiastic about Carries announcement. She had rushed straight over with baby magazines and left over baby clothes from her own child. Carrie on the other hand, was still weighing up her option:

Have the baby and live happily ever after with Bigg

Abort what could be the only child she ever conceives and could possible loose Bigg in the process

She loved Bigg, and no matter what happened, she would never want to loose him. She knew her choice would alter her life for good. If she had the baby, it would make Bigg the happiest man alive. They would continue to have their spring wedding the following year and be the perfect family. She would alternatively have to give up writing her column and become a full time mum – school runs, baby puke, lunch box packing etc.

When most little girls dreamt about a big white wedding, to the perfect guy to go on and spend your life with raising lots of little babies, Carrie dreamt of getting the perfect job, falling in love and leading an ultimately perfect life just the three of them – Carrie, her man and her career. A baby didn't fit into the picture. Now, two months pregnant and she had to decide whether to carry on living her dream, or face reality.

"What if I come by tomorrow and we go look at some cribs and maternity wear? You could blow up bigger than a football," Charlotte told Carrie as she neatened the pile of magazines on the bed. "I'll leave these here for you to browse through."

"Thanks, Charlotte?"

"Yeh?"

"Urm, when you had the baby did you, well, feel any different? Does it feel as if your life's been turned up side down, inside out and spun round sixty times?" Carrie flew into full detail.

"Carrie, having a baby completed my life. You're not sure about it are you?" Charlotte saw the look on her best friends face and knew she was troubled.

"No. Bigg is all set for becoming a father and I tried to be happy but, Charlotte, I don't know if I'm ready to be a mother. I don't know if I'll ever be ready and it scares me to think I might not just lose a baby over this. . I might lose the man I love." Tears started to form in Carries eyes as Bigg entered the apartment. Charlotte saw it her queue to leave and said she'd pop by in the morning and she said a brief hello to Bigg as she left.

"Carrie, sweetheart. Are you ok?" Bigg sat beside his fiancé on the bed.

"No. Bigg I've tried really hard to think of a way to make us both happy but they all involve one of us making a sacrifice we're not willing to make. I can't give up my column and you can't afford to give up work to look after our baby. Bigg, a baby just wouldn't fit into our lives."

Bigg lifted his head and smiled. "Carrie, we can hire a nanny. On my pay I can hire the best nanny around. Sweetheart, we can make this work, if only you want it to, anything can work."

The phrase resounded in Carries head. 'Anything could work, if only you want it to' sadly for her, she didn't know if she wanted to make it work, or if she was just coming up with excises not to have the baby. She would have to decide soon, before too many people got hurt, Bigg, Charlotte, the baby . . .her . . .