I DON'T OWN THE IT CROWD OR ANYTHING RELATED. ALL RIGHTS GO TO GRAHAM LINEHAN
Sometimes, Moss couldn't help but wonder why he always struggled with people of the female genre. Almost all the time, they would walk past him, completely ignore him and head straight towards Roy. It surprised him sometimes when they did that. Roy tended to be quite rude to people on the phone depending on how his day had gone so far.
"Why do they ignore me?" Moss often asked himself. "Is it because of my glasses? Do they find it unusual that I have three pairs of glasses? One pair for everyday wear, one pair for plans, and another pair for schemes?"
He stared at all of his glasses lying on his desk. He knew there wasn't actually any difference between them sight-wise; somehow it just helped when he was working. Or maybe, just maybe it was his voice. He always knew that it was quite nasally, but he just never thought too deeply about it.
Come to think of it, maybe he had thought about it. He remembered when he tried to change his voice to make it sound manlier. Also, he was getting to know Harry, their postman and was trying to impress him with his so-called knowledge of football. It didn't work though. He decided to stick with reading comics and comparing the adult and child edition of Harry Potter. That was what he was more of an expert on.
To be honest, he had only just gotten used to working with Jen. He was so used to spending his time with Roy playing Guitar Hero and discussing Star Wars, a woman arriving in the office was quite a shock to him. He remembered when he first met her. He just stood there not speaking, deciding to let Roy do the talking as much as possible.
He supposed he was fine with his mother. But he spent most days with his mum, (plus she was a family member), so there wasn't much chance that she would have an effect on him. She was always questioning him on why he hadn't had a girlfriend when most people his age were in relationships. He got more and more annoyed about it – she didn't seem to understand that he spent a lot of time with Roy, and he wasn't particularly interested in him. Once, to his surprise, she asked him if he was homosexual. When he said he wasn't, her next question was:
"Then why don't you have a girlfriend?"
He knew that it was quite strange that he had never had a girlfriend. In all honesty, he didn't really count his psychiatrist as a girlfriend. That had only lasted about a day, and he realised that he actually felt quite uncomfortable deep down because at first, she was his psychiatrist before his girlfriend. Nothing more, nothing less.
He knew he had never kissed anybody other than his mum before. In fact, yes he had. He had kissed Roy before, but there was nothing romantic about it. That was a kiss where Roy had unknowingly acted as a getaway driver for some robbers, and the police were arriving. He knew that he had to disguise the fact that Roy was there and in a moment of panic, he shoved Roy against a wall and kissed him whilst a couple of police cars drove past.
It was only when a very stunned Roy pointed out the large bins that were next to them that he realised that they could've hidden behind them instead. However, two more police cars drove past and before Roy could run to hide behind the bins, Moss pressed Roy against the wall again and kissed him, walking away as a very dazed Roy looked on.
He wondered if he should do something about his situation with women. He had joined a dating site, but to his disappointment, he didn't get any replies. Was it a case of not doing anything else yet? Or would he just have to give up? Who knew?