Warning this will make you cry... my beta cried the whole time so if there are errors... well sorry i can't help that lol
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters S. Meyers does :D
Right There In Black And White
"Hey Grandpa, we found this at the house today and thought you would like to go through it with her." My grandson Seth said as he walked into the hospital room.
"How is she today?" My daughter Rose smiled softly and kissed my cheek.
"She had a rough night, why don't we go out in the waiting room and look through this, let her sleep some more?" I sighed and ran my old hands over the tattered cover of the old photo album.
"Ok…I think Jake and Leah are coming by around lunch." She smiled and helped me up. My bones popped and my muscles ached impossibly more from sitting in the chair all night. My family had tried to get me to leave the first two weeks, but there was no way I was leaving my sweet wife. I wouldn't even wonder off the floor. I was such a regular that the hospital included two meals at each time.
As we walked I held the tattered album tight in my hands. The memories it held were priceless. Seth was my oldest grandchild and I wanted him to know these pictures. Someday I wouldn't be around to tell the stories my wife use to tell, not that I planned on being on this earth much longer after she left.
Once again my body creaked as I sat down in one of the waiting room chairs. Rose patted my shoulder and sat down beside me, Seth taking the other side. I started at the book a moment, rubbing my hands over the dusty cover.
"We cleaned up the house Dad…the dust was awful but its back to smelling nice. The cat is doing great too. Edward, Tanya and Marissa are taking great care of Fred. We tried to take him but you know how Royce's allergies are. They said they will probably be around tonight to see mom." Rose was rattling, she always did that when she was slightly nervous and today was definitely one of those days. The Doctors would be around later to tell us how much worse my wife was doing. We all expected them to tell us any time now and poor Rose would probably take it worse than all of my kids.
"That's nice, your mother will enjoying having you all here. It's been a few days since you were all here at the same time." I said emotionless.
"Sorry Grandpa, football just started and mom has had to drag me back and forth." Seth Smiled. I smiled back and nodded, letting him know I understood.
We started flipping through the old album. It was my life captured in snapshots. I was mesmerized by all the photos. I hadn't looked at it in years. There were school pictures of our children and grandkids along with all the pictures of our life before them.
"Who's that?" Seth pointed to an old black and white picture that had just been stuck in the page randomly. I used my old arthritic fingers to peel the old covering away and lift the picture. I hadn't seen it in years and had to smile.
"That would be me and my brother Jasper."
"Is that one you?"Rose asked.
"Yeah, I was around eleven when that was taken. Jasper was probably ten. Looks like we had just come in from picking cotton, which was during the Great Depression. Too bad we didn't have color pictures back then. If we looked scared to death there then I'm sure a color picture would have got it perfectly, of course being there would have showed it better. We were always trying to save each other." I sighed and tucked the picture back into the album and moved on.
"Who is that? I know this one here is you leaning against this side of the plane, but who is that? I don't remember him at all." Rose squinted her eyes as she looked at the picture of me next to my best friend during the war.
"It's because you never met him."
"Oh…" she said confused.
"Sixty-three I think is when this was taken."
"Tell me about it Grandpa." Seth pleaded.
"Son, that picture was taken in the middle of hell. In the winter it was so cold I can almost see my breath thinking about it. Peter was my best friend and teacher down in Texas. He was my tail gunner and had my back…that's actually what got him killed." I sighed.
"He died protecting you?" Rose asked sympathetically. I nodded as I heard the gun shots in my head as clear as they were then. Those nightmares would never go away and I didn't want to tell my family that it haunted me still to this day.
"Did you know Grandma then?"
"She was at home waiting on me. I had asked her to marry me right before I left. Peter's wife Charlotte and your Grandma are still friends."
"You mean that's Aunt Char's first husband?"Rose gasped and I laughed. Char was younger than Peter when they got married quickly before the war.
"Sure is. She moved up here after I got out." I smiled and flipped the page. My wife was the only thing that got that woman through loosing Peter and I wasn't sure how she would take it to losing her. She had been around every day to visit us and always brought me something to eat. When I tried to tell her it wasn't necessary she would glare and tell me it was the least she could do for all that we had done for her. Jasper of course would just shake his head and give me that look like I was an idiot for even opening my mouth. He and Charlotte got married two years after I got back and had been together ever since.
We flipped through more pictures until Alice interrupted.
"Now Mr. McCarty you know what time it is. Did you take your medicine yet?" She raised her little eyebrow at me with a smile.
"I thought I would wait so I could spend time with these two looking through these pictures Alice. Do you have time to join us?" I smiled at the little nurse who had made it her personal mission to do my doctors bidding and make sure I was taking care of myself while I was here with my wife.
"How about I get your medications from Mrs. McCarty's room and bring you a snack and drink then we can travel down memory lane." She laughed and scurried down the hall.
"Who is that?" Rose laughed.
"That little hell cat would be one Alice Brandon. She is Doctor Cullen's nurse and has made it her personal mission in life to make sure I am medicated. She says she will leave the well feed part to Charlotte since she cooks so good." I laughed.
Right on time for me to take my medications Alice rounded the corner with a piece of one of Charlotte's pies. She not only made sure I was fed but had taken it upon herself to feed the nurses and Doctor Cullen at least once a week so it wasn't unusual for there to be food around the nurses' station and break room, which I had free access to. You kind of gained perks when you have been living in a hospital for three months. She had also brought snacks for Seth, Rose and herself along with a cup of coffee for me. She immediately plopped down in front of me and handed over the food and coffee with my medication sitting right beside the pie.
I debated giving her a hard time but I knew I wouldn't get away with it with Rose sitting here. She would take Alice's side and force it down my throat if she had to. Plus I couldn't do that to my one and only daughter. She was losing her mother and there was no way she was going to watch me rile a nurse up over my own medication. She had always been a daddy's girl but had a friendship with her mother that could part the seas if need be. I smiled and shook the thoughts away as I took the food and medicine from her.
"Thank you for not giving me a hard time." She smiled and I laughed and took my medicine with a bite of apple pie.
"You give her trouble?" Rose glared at me.
"Thanks Alice you have officially put my life in danger." I chuckled.
"He isn't too much trouble." She winked and pointed to the album. "Now I wanna see how handsome you were." She laughed.
"I'm still handsome woman and the Mrs. would get you for saying that."I smiled.
"Oh don't I know it. I have heard her telling all the nurses about how you wowed her and all the romantic things the handsome Mr. McCarty has done." She sighed wistfully.
"She has always been the story teller, not me, so just bare with me here." I said as I flipped the book back open and looked for the picture that was taken of us the day we met.
"Wow, is that Grandma?" Seth asked as I found the picture and took it our ever so carefully.
"She sure is a looker ain't she" I smiled as I drifted off into my past and started the story.
As I unloaded the feed out of the back of the truck I wiped the sweat off my brow. The Tennessee heat and humidity was always the most smothering at this time of day, but I didn't mind it on this particular day of the week. The most beautiful girl around always brought me a glass of lemonade out and always graced me with her beautiful blush. For five minutes every Wednesday I was graced with the presence of her.
Her sweet southern charm, her perfect complexion, dark brown wavy hair and eyes that could match the rarest chocolate in the world kept me waiting for Wednesdays. She always wore her finest dresses on Wednesday and her hair was always done just the way I liked, halfway up and swept to one side cascading down her shoulder. There was no way I had a chance with her though. I had pined for her since the day I had first laid eyes on her. She was only fourteen of course and I was only seventeen. Every breath she took mesmerized me but her daddy would kill me if I even looked at her wrong.
I was pulled out of thoughts by the backdoor of the store opening. When I glanced back to see who it was I was rewarded by the site of my angel in a pale pink polka dotted sundress with a light eyelet sweater covering her shoulders and white sandals. I couldn't help but smile as I took the sight of her in. Usually she had one glass of lemonade with her, but not today. Her cheeks were flushed and she was sipping on her own glass of lemonade.
"Hello Emmett." Her cheeks were bright red as she said my name and I had to fidget with my hands to keep from making a fool of myself.
"Hell Ms. Bella" I managed to smile and grab another bag of feed to toss on the loading dock.
"Please, Emmett just call me Bella. I have been bringing you Lemonade for two years now." She laughed.
"But that wouldn't make me much of a gentleman now would it?"
"I think you're a perfect gentleman." She said low and blushed as she sat my glass down on the edge of the doc.
"Thank you." I smiled and jumped down to retrieve it. I knew I had to soak up all the time I could because soon she would disappear back inside to help her father.
"Do you mind if I join you out here for a little bit. It's really hot in there right now and the wind feels so nice out here." I was immediately happy. I would have more time with her today than ever before.
"I don't mind…Does your father know you are out here?"I was a little worried about that one detail.
"Yes…He doesn't mind me bringing out Lemonade for you…he just thinks I am coming back in." she smiled sheepishly.
"Ok then but please don't get in trouble on my part."
"I won't." she giggled and we sat about a light conversation for a few minutes. With each word I fell for her even more. All too soon my glass was empty and the back door was swinging open.
"Isabella Marie Swan what is taking you so long?" Charlie Swan, Bella's father walked out. Thankfully I had already gotten up from the loading dock.
"Hello Mr. Swan. Bella was just telling me about all the new items you got in."
"Hi dad, sorry I was just coming back in. The wind felt so good." She blushed and got up from the crate she was sitting on.
"It's ok… Bella why don't you run inside and help Mrs. Cooper find that fabric she is looking for while I help Emmett." Mr. Swan smiled down at her.
She retrieved my empty glass with a soft smile and hurried inside. I immediately missed her but I didn't miss the look on her father's face. He had figured out how I felt about his daughter and now I was gonna die. As soon as she was out of ear shot he turned to stare me down.
"Now Mr. McCarty, I am no fool and I can see the glint in both of your eyes. You should have sent her right back inside. I have trusted you both to let her bring you out something to drink but this today has went a little far. Now am I going to have to stop letting her come out here?"
"No Sir. But you should know Sir I would never do anything to disrespect Ms. Bella or you Sir." I felt like a blubbering Idiot but I wanted to still be able to see her every chance I got.
"Why don't you just court her like a normal man already?" Renee, Bella's mother, laughed as she joined Charlie on the loading dock.
"Now Renee don't give the boy anymore wild ideas!" Charlie huffed.
"Oh knock it off Charlie those two are crazy about each other and you know it." she smiled at me.
"Woman you have lost your mind if you think my daughter is going to be seeing anyone!" Oh his face was turning red. I was going to die today for sure!
"Charlie we will talk about this inside. Now I think Emmett has work to finish up and old Mr. Johnson is in there looking for you." She was all smiles as she looked at her husband.
"Fine, Emmett we will finish this conversation later. I expect you here first thing in the morning do you understand me?"
"Yes sir." I nodded enthusiastically and went back to work.
I don't know how I managed to finish my work, but somehow I did. I caught sight of Bella smiling meekly at me as I left the store. I was a complete goner and a fool. I would jump through any hoops Mr. Swan set up for me to win her over. Bella Swan was it for me.
I would never know what Renee Swan told her husband but I was forever in her debt and she would always remind me of it. When Charlie Swan went to open the store the next morning there I was sitting on the steps.
"Well I didn't expect you here yet." He glared down at me.
"Sir, I would do anything to be able to win your daughters affections. If it means sitting here for two hours waiting on you then so be it." I said as I stood to shake his hand.
"You can thank my wife, I will be watching you boy and you can count on me being around every corner. I have a shotgun with your name on it if you so much as even think about making my daughter cry do you understand me?"
"Yes Sir, I would expect no less."
"Good, Renee wanted me to invite you to supper and remind you about the dance. She thinks you should be Bella's date." He grumbled and unlocked the door.
"Yes Sir, what time shall I be there?"
"Six o'clock and not one minute late." He snapped and disappeared inside the store.
"That's so sweet!" Alice gushed and I laughed.
"Oh her daddy was not an easy man to deal with trust me. I was so nervous before dinner that night that I almost lost my job."
"What happened after that?" Leah asked as she walked up with my soon Jacob and sat down with us.
"Well I did as I was told." I said.
"Mom's awake do you want to finish this story in there?" Jacob smiled.
"I think that's a good idea."
As we walked in the room I smiled. There was my beautiful wife sitting up against her pillows smiling weakly at me. My son Edward and his wife Tanya were already here along with their three year old Marissa. She had been perched on the bed with my wife until I walked in. She immediately clamored down and plopped into my lap as I sat next to my wife.
"Dad was just telling us about your love story. We thought you might like to hear him tell the story's for a chance." Rose smiled and kissed her mother's cheek.
"Oh how much did I miss?" she asked as she looked at me. I saw the spark in her eye and knew I was going to have to relive it all. I didn't mind though I loved watching her smile, especially in her weak state.
"Just up until your father invited me to dinner."
"Oh I was so nervous that day! I had to wait all day just to see if he would show up." She smiled. I kissed her cheek and opened the album up next to her on the bed.
"Where do I start now?" I asked.
"Well I don't think they want to hear about all our chaperoned dates. So you decide."
I kissed her frail hand and flipped through the album as Marissa giggled in my lap. There were several pictures of us together but one caught my eye and I knew exactly where to start back off at. As I looked at the picture of Bella and me dancing I drifted back to the first time I ever made her cry. Thankfully the picture was taken before I ripped her heart out.
Six months after dinner Bella and I were a happy couple. The war was still waging on and I had been very lucky up until this point. But my luck had taken a turn for the worst. I had to break her heart and I couldn't stand it. There was no way around it though. We had just got threw dancing when I led her outside to a bench.
"I need to talk to you about something." I said as we sat down.
"You know you can talk to me about anything Emmett." He smiled as she looked at our hands which were linked together. I hated having to tell her this. It was going to crush her.
"You know how much I love you right?" I asked low.
"Yes… is everything alright Emmett? You're scaring me."
"I'm sorry, scaring you is the last thing I wanted to do." I sighed.
"Are you breaking up with me?" She gasped. I saw her lip tremble and the tears start to form in her eyes.
"Never, Bella I could never do that." I quickly reassured her.
"Then what is this about?"I sighed and pulled out the letter I had gotten two days before.
"I have to go. I don't want to go but I have choice Bella." She snatched the letter out of my hands and quickly unfolded it. The only reason we were allowed to be alone right now was because her parents already knew.
"NO!" she screamed suddenly and balled the letter up and threw it. Tears streaked down her eyes and I felt my own pricking at my eyes as I watched her fall apart for the first time ever. She was chanting no and hitting me as she cried.
"Bella! What's wrong?" Esme, her best friend cried as she ran over to us with Carlisle, my best friend right on her heels. He already knew, but Esme didn't. He had just got back. He had been lucky to make it back alive and I knew seeing him right now would only make Bella worse. He was still wearing the sling from where he had been shot.
"Esme dear, I think we need to give them some time alone." Carlisle sighed as he picked up the crumpled letter and handed it to her. She gasped and looked between Bella and me, before tears started slipping down her cheeks. She hugged us both and took off with Carlisle to dry her tears.
Bella's face was buried in her hands as I kneeled down in front of her. I couldn't see her beautiful eyes or her blush and it made my heart ache.
"Hey beautiful" I whispered as I pulled her hands from her face and tilted her face up to look at me. She sniffled and tears fell down her face as she slowly stopped her chanting.
"I know I have no right to ask you this right now but I have to." I sighed.
"Anything." She sobbed. The determination in her eyes was so intense I almost lost it right then and there.
"Will you wait for me?" I asked as I pulled out the locket. I had put pictures of us inside just for her.
"I promise as soon as I get back I will marry you, even if your father says no… I will do whatever it takes." She lunged forward, wrapping her arms around my neck and started crying even more with her face buried in my neck.
"Oh God Emmett, I don't want you to go. Stay here with me Please!" she pleaded.
"If I could sweetheart I would." I felt the tear slip down my cheek. Suddenly she pulled back and clasped her small hands on both sides of my face. There was a fire in her eyes that I had never seen before.
"Promise me you will come back. You have to. You have to. You're going to come back and ask my father if you can marry me… You're going to come back and marry me even if we have to run away together!" she was practically screaming at me and I knew there was only one way to seal m promise to her.
"I swear I will." I nodded and slipped the locket over head, knowing what I was about to do would kill her if I didn't come back.
I pulled her hands from my face and held them in my hands as I looked into her eyes. Without any warning I leaned in and lightly kissed her soft plump lips. She wrapped her arms around my neck and held me there until we were both forced to breath.
I looked up at the faces of my family and saw the tears in my daughter and both of my daughter in-laws faces. Poor Alice was sniffling away as well.
"Now enough of that, you all know he came home!" Bella laughed from her hospital bed. She wasn't doing well at all but was enjoying having us all here and hearing our story from me. I knew it would be anytime now. I had seen this in other patients here. It was like she was catching her second wind before the end. Marissa drew my attention back to the room by tugging on my shirt and pointing to the book.
"Wait you can't stop there!" Tanya demanded with a smile.
I laughed and looked for the next picture. Once I found it I looked over it, bringing all the memories back to the surface. I handed off the picture and slipped back into my story telling.
The next year of my life was miserable. Bella and I wrote each other thousands of letters. I would go weeks without hearing anything from her and then suddenly a stack of letters would be there. It was the only thing that got me through it all, and of course Peter. He teased me relentlessly about Bella but I of course did the same to him about Charlotte. A week after Peter got killed, protecting me I finally got to come home.
In deptted to Peter I made my way to Texas. I couldn't go home to Bella until I knew that Charlotte knew how much peter loved her. I had his letter to her and there was no way I was going home without seeing her first. It was the least I could do because he would have been the one to do it for me if it were me instead of him.
I spent two weeks in Texas making sure Charlotte was ok. Charlotte didn't blame me for Peter's death but I did. Somehow I didn't even think to send Bella a letter letting her know what was going on. The last letter I had sent was letting her know that Peter had gotten killed and that was three weeks prior.
When I got into town and people spotted me they gasped, of course it didn't help that I had a gorgeous blond with me. I headed straight for the store since it was Wednesday. She always helped stock the store on Wednesday and I knew that should be my first place to look.
As soon as I stepped onto the porch of the store I was knocked on my ass by Charlie Swan. Charlotte screamed and I immediately covered my right eye.
"How dare you show up here with another woman after ignoring my daughter? She is at home in tears thinking you went out and got yourself killed! It's been three weeks since you told her your friend Peter got killed and not so much as a word from you since!" Hell I had made it through the fucking war to come home to get killed!
"Sir it's not like that!" I screamed as I realized he had a shotgun pointed at my head.
"You better get yourself busy explaining what the hell is really going on then and I suggest you do it soon." He snapped as he checked his shells.
"This is Charlotte Whitlock Sir… She's Peter's wife. I didn't know she had written back Sir. I left a week after Peter got killed and I have been in Texas. My own family didn't even know I was back...I had Peter's letter Sir. " I sighed as I watched his anger dissipate. Charlotte was in tears and I was still on the porch with half the town folks watching.
"I am sorry for your loss Mrs. Whitlock." He said sympathetically and lowered his gun. Propping it up and leaning it against the door frame.
He lowered his hand to help me up and I gladly took it.
"Glad your back son, I suggest you get your ass in gear and find my daughter…" he was cut off by my name being screamed from down the street.
I ran out into the street to see a bare foot Bella running down the street in a yellow sundress and no sweater. Carlisle was right behind her and I could only guess he had spotted me get off the train and had ran to tell her.
She stopped a few feet in front of me with tear stained cheeks. Tears were steadily streaming down her face and she was trying to wipe them away as she looked at me in my uniform.
"Emmett..." she gasped and started to sway. I closed the distance between us and suddenly she collapsed against me sobbing. I kissed the top of her head thousands of times with the whole town looking on. My arms were wrapped around her as she cried into my chest, wetting my uniform.
"You're really here?" she mumbled, still not releasing me.
"Yes…I'm sorry I didn't write you back." I smiled as she looked up at me.
"OH my… Emmett your eye!"
"Sorry." Charlie mumbled from the porch.
"Who's that?" Bella asked skeptically as she spotted Charlotte.
"That would be Charlotte Whitlock… She couldn't stand Texas anymore…that's where I have been for two weeks…I told her I would help her get settled here…I am so sorry I didn't tell you Bella…" suddenly she was out of my arms and was wrapped around Charlotte.
Once Bella calmed down and I saw my family I snuck back to the store to visit with Charlie. I had made Bella a promise and I had planned to keep it.
"Mr. Swan…I want to ask Bella to marry me."
"I know." He didn't even look up at me.
"Well I wanted your blessing to ask her Sir." I was nervous as hell.
"I know that to." He sighed and put down his ink pen to look up at me. "You have my blessing and Renee's but I still mean what I told you that day."
"Yes Sir. Thank you so much." I was a bumbling idiot as I made my way out of the store.
I decided I would ask her tonight at dinner. My mother and her mother were planning a big welcome home dinner in my honor. I quickly went home and got cleaned up. As soon as I was ready I made my way over to Bella's to walk her to my house.
Bella kept asking why I seemed so nervous and I kept shrugging it off. By the time dinner was over she was starting to get mad at me. Charlotte had helped me pick out the ring and finally walked over to me and smacked me on the back of the head.
"You're going to blow it if you don't hurry up!" she snapped in a low whisper.
"Fine!" I snapped back and walked over to Bella who was standing in front of the fire place talking to my mother.
"Mom can you excuse us for a moment and maybe have a seat?" she looked shocked for a moment and then smiled before she took seat.
"Emmett that was rude, we were talking." Bella scolded me. I smiled down at her and dropped to one knee. The whole room got quite and I could swear I heard Charlie groan.
"What are you doing Emmett? You are going to get your uniform all dirty!" she was trying to pull me up and I wasn't having any of it.
"Stop Bella, just listen ok" I smiled.
"Oh my." She gasped and clamped her hands to her chest.
"Isabella Marie Swan, I have loved you since the first time I laid eyes on you three years ago. I told you a year ago that I would marry you as soon as I got back and well here I am, down on one knee asking you to be my wife. I love you more than anything Bella… Will you marry me?"My pals were sweaty and my hands were shaking but somehow I managed to the small engagement ring out of my pocket. She lunged forward wrapping her arms around me and kissed me, in front of everyone.
"Yes Emmett. YES!"She screamed. I peeled her off of me and slipped the small diamond on her finger.
"Awe that was so sweet!" Alice cooed.
"Yes, he has always had that effect on women." Bella looked at me pointedly and I winked at her.
"You know my eyes have always been for you." I said as I kissed her hand and she blushed slightly. Seeing the color in her cheek for the first time in months scared me.
"Excuse me, it looks like you are throwing a party in here Mrs. McCarty. " Carlisle smiled as he made his way into the room. Esme, his wife was right behind him.
Carlisle had started medical school shortly after he got back from the war and now he was Bella's doctor. Esme usually visited Bella a few days a week so it was no surprise to see her. I think Carlisle would die before he retired. Esme wouldn't know what to do with him at home all the time.
"Why don't you all give us a moment?" I offered and they refused.
"Out with you all." Bella waved her hand and the obeyed.
"You can come back in later." She sighed and tried to adjust her pillows.
"Maybe tomorrow will be better." I corrected. I could tell she was tired and I wanted some time with my wife after talking to Carlisle.
"Fine." She grumbled but didn't fight me on it thankfully. Everyone said their goodbyes, including Esme who said she would wait on Carlisle in his office. He pulled up a chair on the other side of the bed and smiled at the photo album.
"How many am I in?" he laughed.
"Quite a few actually." Bella smiled.
"Well we will have to look through it later." He smiled.
"Sounds like a plan, now tell me the bad news Doc. I know that look." She said as she gripped my hand.
"You know we have tried everything to get a handle on this Bella. We have fought it with everything we have but I don't see any more options…"
"Why isn't the specialist in here telling us this Carlisle?" I snapped.
"I didn't want him to. I felt obliged to be the one… I'm sorry but there's nothing else we can do. We can make you as comfortable as possible for the next few weeks and months, with medication…"
"I want to go home." Bella said effectively cutting off Carlisle.
"Bella, with your immune system I'm not sure that's the best option."
"I want to go home and I want to be in my bed were my family can come and go as they please. If you want to give me medicine then you can give it to me at home. Now damn it! If I am going to die I am going to do it in the house Em and I built together. I am going to do it in my bed."
"But Bella…"
"No Carlisle…give her what she wants." I didn't care that I had tears in my old eyes. My wife was dying and I had earned every right to cry.
"I understand… I will come over everyday myself. We will set up some home healthcare for you."
"I want to go home now. I am not missing anything else being in here." She sighed.
"Ok… I will get that started now." He sighed and got up, leaving us alone.
"I'm sorry Em." She cried.
"What are you sorry for?" I had her hand in mine and I was propped against her bed.
"I know I promised to always be here for you but I can't stop this…"
"Honey, it's ok. We will get through this together. We have made it through fifty five years of marriage, children, war, and grandchildren together. We will get through this."
The next three weeks where a whirl wind. Everyone we knew was in and out of the house. I never left my wife's side though. I watched her steadily get worse as the cancer took over her body. I smiled for my grandchildren only because she would get mad if I acted any different. I smiled for our children because she would get mad. She didn't want them to hurt because of me to.
But at night, when the house was silent and everyone had come and gone for the day and my wife was in her restless sleep, I cried. I cried for my wife. I cried for the pain she was going through. I cried for our children and grandchildren. Then I would cry for myself, at the thought of being without her for the first time in fifty five years. Then I would crawl in bed, next to my loving wife and hold her until dawn, until the people started pouring in and out, in and out. It was a never ending cycle and I was steadily losing my mind right along with my wife.
It was four weeks to the day we left the hospital that she took a turn for the worse.
"Do you want me to call the kids and Carlisle?" I whispered s I lay in bed next to her.
"No…I…I don't…want…them to see…hold me…"she pleaded breathlessly and I did. I would give her anything and everything.
"I love you Bella" I cried into her grey hair.
"Love…you…to...Emmett" she cried as pain wrenched through her.
I felt like my heart was ripping out of my chest as she took her last breath. I had held her for two hours, crying and now she was gone. Everything I ever lived for was gone. I held her body to me, but it was useless. The one person I loved more than life it's self was no longer with me and I felt like I was being ripped apart at the seams.
The photo album that contained snap shots of our life in Black and white was lying on the bedside table. Instead of the phone I grabbed it. I wasn't ready to let her go.
My heart felt like it was ripping out of my body and floating up to the heavens with her. She had always owned me heart, body and soul and now I felt like death was taking me to. I couldn't make it on this earth without my angel, Bell McCarty.
As I finished looking through the album, from the page we had stopped on that morning I laid back beside my wife and pulled the quilt over us letting sleep overtake me and the pain dissipate as I slipped under. I wasn't sure if I was dreaming or if I was dead as she appeared in my line of vision.
"Honey, why didn't you stay?" she smiled and wrapped her arms around me. She looked like she did the day we got married so I must be in Heaven with her.
"Have I ever done anything without you?" I sighed and buried my face in her hair relishing in the fact that I wasn't without her. I could smell her, I could feel her. She wasn't sick. She was with me.
"Good point." She smiled and kissed me…
Whether I was in Heaven or Hell I didn't care. I was with Bella forever and neither of us was in pain. With that, I kissed my beautiful wife, just like I did everyday of our lives together.
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