Spencer and Caleb: The Aftermath

It had been a few days since they found Hanna and brought her back to Rosewood. Spencer couldn't have been more relieved. Her best friend was back, and it seemed like they were closer to finally closing the last chapter on this "A" mystery.

But, something still poked at Spencer's psyche.

It was her relationship with Caleb.

Ever since the day at the cabin where he had yelled at her erratically, their relationship had been different.

Spencer hadn't really seen or heard from Caleb since that day other than brief text messages and a short visit to update her on the details of the "A" situation.

Spencer had her reservations about the relationship since Hanna and Caleb started this risky plan a few weeks ago. She noticed the way they looked at each other and couldn't ignore what appeared to be "lingering feelings".

A reflexive hand-hold.

A comforting hand on the back.

Spencer didn't want to admit that she felt jealous… but she did. She knew deep down that being with Caleb wasn't going to be easy. There were complications with Hanna regarding this relationship and Spencer knew it.

But she was blinded by her feelings for the wandering bad-boy. Spencer wasn't insensitive. She had always been fairly perceptive to the people around her. And after everything she had been through, she was hoping for a happier ending.

Unfortunately, life has a cruel sense of humor.

Which made her reflect on the thing that had bothered her the most.

"Why hasn't Caleb said it back?"

Spencer thought to herself. 'It' being the infamous three words which separate a shallow relationship from a serious one:

I love you.

Spencer wasn't one to sit on something like this. If she wanted an answer, she would go and find it. However, this situation was different.

Maybe she didn't want to find the answer to her question. If she were being honest with herself, the fear of his answer crippled her entirely.

Spencer has been put in many life-or-death situations before. But, of all the times that she has been afraid, the sensation has never been as palpable as it is now.

"I guess it's true what they say - the heart is deceitful above all things. Who can truly know it?" Spencer thought to herself as a single tear had managed to escape from her eye.

Quickly wiping away her tear, there was a knock on her door. Wondering who could it could be at this hour, she opened the door to find a concerned looking Caleb at her doorstep.

Every doubt and fear and emotion that Spencer had felt over these past few weeks had hit her tenfold. She felt her heart drop rapidly. Spencer had to take a deep breath to make sure that she was still okay.

"Hey. We need to talk. Can I come in?" Caleb asked.

"Yeah. Sure." Spencer answered with a weak smile. She had been dreading this conversation for weeks. Hoping for the best, Spencer closes the door behind Caleb and takes a deep breath.

Making their way to the sofa, they both sit down while Spencer waits for Caleb to explain the reason for his arrival.

"Spencer… there's something I–we need to talk about." Caleb began, with what sounded like nervousness and guilt lacing his voice.

"Yeah we do." Spencer responded.

"How have you been?" Caleb asked.

"Caleb. I would be better if you told me what was going on. Ever since the whole Hanna thing, you completely shut me out of your life. You barely talk to me. I haven't seen you in almost two weeks. What's going on…?"

Exhaling loudly, Caleb continued, hoping that Spencer wouldn't hate him after he had finished explaining himself.

"Spencer… There is a reason why I haven't been around. Why I haven't said "I love you" as well… "

"I'm listening..." Spencer responded, proud that her voice didn't show the uneasiness that she felt.

"Okay... So, that night when Hanna got taken, she had told me some things that I didn't know about the night that we had broken up..."

Spencer immediately felt her heart drop. She was smart enough to know where this was going, but she hoped that Caleb would disprove her suspicions.

"Anyways, Hanna told me that she never stopped loving me... and... I kissed her."

If Spencer Hastings could use a word to describe the way she was feeling right now, it would be bittersweet. Betrayal had never hurt quite as much as this. Unable to control her emotions any longer, Spencer let out all the tears and emotions that she had been holding back for weeks.

"Spence... I-I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me. I just got so caught up in the moment that-"

"-Tell me something." Spencer said sharply, cutting Caleb off.

Caleb winced slightly at Spencer's tone. For all the years that they had known each other, Spencer had never spoken to Caleb with that tone before. He knew that he had done something awful. He just hoped that Spencer wouldn't hate him or Hanna for his poor judgement.

"Am I not supposed to judge myself for this?"

"Spence..."

"God Caleb, Hanna?! Really?! On the day I told you that I loved you! Opening myself up to being vulnerable! And you turn around and kiss your ex! And you knew that I had asked Hanna twice if she was okay with us dating and even after all of that... you still KISS HER?! How the hell do you expect me to be okay with that?! And on top of that, you don't talk to me for weeks?! How could you be so insensitive?!"

"I don't know I just-"

"Just what?! Caleb. For three years I suppressed my feelings for you. When we went to Retiro Park, that was not only my favourite day in Europe... but it was one of my favourite dates. I considered that a date even if we were not together at the time. And I thought you felt the same way. All the lingering looks, the unspoken feelings, the amount of time we spent together. You even said that you wouldn't let anyone hurt me! And then you came to Rosewood when I called you during my time of need. I really thought that we could be something."

"Spencer-"

Cutting him off again, Spencer continued her emotional outburst:

"But, what really kills me is who you kissed. Caleb, why even be with me? Why let me say I love you only to go and kiss the one person I felt could come between us... in the same day? I knew that Hanna would always have a special place in your heart... But, I need to know something. And answer honestly."

"Okay..." Caleb said.

"During the time that we had spent together, as a couple, did you still have feelings for Hanna? Or were your feelings for me as genuine as you claimed they were?"

"Spencer... My feelings were real. I really did care for you. I still do. I'm just confused. I didn't really get any closure from Hanna when we had broken up. She kept on putting her work before me and I got fed up. So, I gave her an ultimatum: Either come with me to Europe, or we're done. And I thought she chose her work, so I left to Europe... And the rest was history.

I went to Europe. I saw you. A familiar face. I didn't really want to talk about Hanna and how I was feeling, so I just focused on being in the moment, in Europe, with an old friend. But then I fell for you. Your smarts, your sardonic wit, your unparalleled love for justice. But, I was conflicted. I didn't imagine I would fall for my best friend's ex... I thought you felt the same way. But, I did. And I wish that this whole situation was easier, but it isn't and I'm not sure what you want me to do. I-I never meant to hurt you Spence. You should know that."

Rolling her eyes, Spencer stood up with Caleb following after her.

"Caleb. I love you. And those are real feelings. It may have been too soon for you, it may not have been real for you, but that is how I felt. And I trusted you. You made me feel safe. I felt like you understood me and who I was. But, the one thing I refuse to do is get caught in the middle of a very complicated situation... Especially when I'm the one who is getting hurt here. It's obvious that you still love Hanna. And by what you told me, she still loves you too. Even if you never meant to hurt me, surprisingly, you did." Spencer said with tears streaming down her face. Although this whole situation had devastated her, she wasn't entirely surprised.

"Spencer... Caleb said as he wiped the tears from Spencer's face. What are you saying?"

"I'm saying... you should go. Leave me be."

"Spence..."

"Please... Caleb. It's for the best."

"Alright... if you say so."

Caleb gave Spencer one last look before leaving her barn. Spencer laid down on her couch and let her emotions consume her, as the exhaustion from the past few weeks had finally hit her, crying herself gently to sleep.