Welcome Back, Wally
Chapter 1
"oh my, what a positively gorgeous morning" Hippolyta exclaimed cheerfully, watching the birds and bugs fly around the outdoor area of the Watchtower mansion. In an instant, a loud screeching of tires was heard, followed by some incoherent shouting and
/screaming and ending with a thud on the doorstep
"Wally, what are you doing here?" Hippolyta asked as Wally walked into the house, carrying his luggage and his belongings
"my parents disowned me" Flash moaned
"WHAT?" everyone gasped in shock
"they said I spent too much time eating, drinking, being lazy, insubordinate and being extremely ugly to boot" Flash groaned
"gee, that kinda reminds me of SOMEBODY I happen to know…" Batman snarled, glaring daggers at a whimpering Robin
"Touch him and I'll make Bat-steak" Firefly snarled, Batman backing off
"well, does your cousin Barry have an apartment for you?" Jade asked
"Nuh-uh. He sold it off to pay off a gambling thing in Las Vegas" Flash said
"Oh! Well that is just so rude, uncivilized and completely disrespectful" Kara said in disgust, her and Alex nodding heads in agreement
"oy… I knew this day would come. Heck, on the day I was born, they stamped an eviction notice on my hand" Wally whined, sitting on the couch
"Wally? What on earth are you doing dressed like that? Look how messy you are! You're coming with me to take a shower right this instant" Linda barked, dragging a pleading Wally off
"…well, at least he has his wife" Alex said
"so… what are we gonna do, guys? Wally's been kicked out of his parents' house, his brother sold his apartment to his something something girlfriend and at least his wife welcomed him back" Jade said
"I was thinkin' we go over to Wally's folks and we fill 'em full of lead" Two-Face snarled
"absolutely not! We are NOT like that" Hippolyta scoffed
"uh…" Firefly started
"NO" everyone shouted
"aw, phooey" Firefly grumbled in defeat
"well, there's only one choice left…" Hippolyta realized, Batman's eyes widening in horror
"NO! I FORBID IT" Batman shouted, but Hippolyta just ignored him
"Hush? Jason? Zsasz?" Hippolyta called, summoning the three stooges
"those clowns? You're gonna have those idiots build Mr. Fastest Freeloader a room?" Batman asked
"Bruce, don't make me evict YOU…" Hippolyta threatened, Kara and Alex giggling in fiendish glee
"you… told those two giggling hyenas that THEY COULD REPOSSESS MY ENTIRE BATCAVE?" Batman thundered
"yes, if there's an accident or death in the family" Hippolyta said
"Mother, lemme explain something to you: we're IMMORTAL. We. Can. NOT. Die" Batman griped
"…ooh, he's got a good point Mama" Alex said, her and Kara giggling
"I'm onto you two" Batman threatened
"ooh, we're so scared…" Kara teased, her and Alex laughing in delight
"we're not afraid of the Big Bad Bat, the Big Bad Bat, the Big Bad Bat! We're not afraid of the Big Bad Bat, tra-la-la-la!" Alex and Kara sang cheerfully, laughing maniacally as they skipped away, Batman seething red with imminent fury, unaware that
/the Leaguers burst into hysterical laughter
"…what are YOU laughing about?" Batman growled as the Leaguers tried holding in their laughter
"Hehehehehe I'm not afraid of the Big Bad Bat, the Big Bad Bat, the Big Bad Bat! I'm not afraid of the Big Bad…" Robin sang before Batman angrily kicked him in the crotch
"are you afraid of THAT, numbnuts?" Batman growled, Robin sticking his tongue out as he ran for his life
"now that you mention it, that song is pretty catchy…" Hippolyta said, giggling girlishly
"Mom…don't make me do this…" Batman threatened, feeling his long-buried temper about to erupt
*KLONG*
"And THAT's what you get for being a big bad Mr. grouchy pants" Dinah huffed, standing over a dazed Batman with a baseball bat
"good job, Dinah! Good girl, good girl" Hippolyta cheered
"now tell Mommy you're sorry" Dinah said
"pfft. Like Hell I will" Batman scoffed defiantly, Black Canary swatting him in the ass with the bat
"AAAAAGH" Batman growled in pain
"ok, ok! I'm sorry, alright?" Batman panted
…
"oh there he is! Hi Wally! Have you gotten accustomed to our hospitality?" Hippolyta asked cheerfully as a clean-shaven, nicely dressed Wally sat in the kitchen
"now that you mention it, I'm positively GLAD to be outta that rusty old shack. I tell you, my ma and pa would NOT stop nagging me" Flash ranted, taking a bite of his cinnamon roll
"hey Wally! We got your room made! You coming up to check it out or what?" Black Mask hollered from upstairs
"hey bro, how's it goin?" Barry asked, coming in
"You…you lying, backstabbing, cheating son of a bitch" Wally growled
"oh crap… listen man, Caitlin… she's pregnant, alright? I needed that to pay off my thing… you understand right, bro?" Barry asked pathetically
"get out of my house or I'll blast you wide open" Two-Face growled, brandishing his shotgun
"Barry, I trusted you with my husband's life…and look what you did. Drugs, gambling, prostitution, selling your own brother's apartment just because you can only care about yourself? You disgust me, you're a disgrace to the Flash name and you are no longer
/welcome in this house" Linda said, slapping Barry in the face
"well fine! You guys are totally messed up! You… you call yourselves a family? You're all freaks! Annoying, crazy, immature, stupid…" Barry ranted until Kara and Alex dropkicked him out the door and clear into outer space
"and STAY OUT" Alex roared, slamming the door
"NOBODY talks dirt about our family like that" Kara said, shaking her head
"guys…why… why'd you do that for me?" Wally asked, feeling confused
"because, you're one of us. We welcomed you into this house with love and affection, you have an adoring wife, a caring mother and father, and a very, very, VERY happy brood of brothers and sisters" Hippolyta said warmly, giving Wally a kindhearted hug
"aww…" Kara and Alex awed, smiling proudly
"you know what Wally? Tomorrow morning, you, me and Harvey are gonna go to City Hall and get your papers signed" Hippolyta said
"why?" Wally asked, as Kara and Alex sported huge smiles
"Well whaddya think? We're adopting you!" Kara cheered, Wally letting this revelation sink into his head
"So…whaddya say…son?" Two-Face asked as Flash's eyes rolled into the back of his head and fainted
"hmmm… maybe we should've told him earlier" Alex said