Duty Is The Death Of Love: A Jon Snow Story

Connor Antonellis

Jon Snow walked into what remained of the King's Landing throne room with terrified feet. A fear colder than the farthest reaches of the north gripped at his heart. He had never been inside the throne room of King's Landing before, but he had certainly pictured it inside his mind. He imagined that it would have been made up of more gold than any one kingdom in Westeros. However, whatever Jon's ideas were for the throne room, they were mute now. He walked into an open atrium plastered with smoky grey skies. The walls and floors of the throne room were a mess of charred black rubble. They were laden with ash whiter than the namesake of Jon's given surname.

Standing about ten meters in front of him was Daenerys Targaryen, or Dany, as Jon affectionately called her. Dany was Jon's queen. She was the woman that Jon loved more than anyone and anything in the entire world. Dany stood with her back to Jon. Her long snow-gold hair falling down onto the spine of her night colored dress. Her tender hand was stroking the handle of a sword; one of the thousand that made up the iron throne. She was caressing it like she would the member of a lover.

A black wave of rage formed inside of Jon's heart; blacker than anything than he had felt for Joffrey Baratheon, Ramsay Bolton, or the Night King. Joffrey had taken Jon's father. Ramsay had tormented Jon's sister and had murdered his brother. The Night King had all but destroyed Jon's home city of Winterfell. However, this blasted throne had done far worse than that to Jon; it had taken his Dany away from him. Jon could not see Dany's face, but he could very well imagine the emotions that were alight in her blazing violet eyes. Dany's desire for that throne was stronger than anything that she had ever felt for him.

Jon recalled when he had told Dany the truth about his heritage. He had not given a thought as to how Dany would react. Jon's only goal had been to share a part of himself with her; one that he had never before shared with anyone else. However, Dany's reaction had completely shattered Jon's heart. She had let out a shuddering gasp, and her precious violet eyes had glazed over her with fear and hostility. Jon had found himself stunned to confused silence. He had been about to ask Dany what had been wrong, but she had quickly cleared things up in a brutal manner.

"If this is true, and you are Rhaegar's son, it would mean that you are the last male heir of House Targaryen." Dany had paused for a moment as the cold fierceness in her eyes had increased. "You would have a claim to the Iron Throne."

The hurt that Jon had felt in that moment had almost sent him sprawling backwards. The Iron Throne? Jon had thought. I don't want the damn Iron Throne! I only want you.

Jon had been about to say as much, but then war horns had bellowed in the distance; signaling the arrival of the White Walkers. Jon's head had darted into the direction of the battle ahead, but he had felt Dany's gaze remain fixed on him. Jon's heart had raced under the scrutiny of his lover, except Dany was not looking at him with love. Dany was staring at Jon as if he were a feral hound that needed to be put down. It was the same way she had looked at Jon just two short hours ago, after the Unsullied had carted Tyrion off to be executed.

The Iron Throne had turned Dany against Jon, and if the Iron Throne were a man, Jon would grab a hold of its throat and crush the bones in its neck until they were nothing but chips and powder.

Dany took her hand off of the Iron Throne and turned around to face Jon. Jon steeled himself; all but prepared to be wounded by her cold stare once again. However, Jon was shocked when Dany actually smiled at him; as if he were a dear friend sharing in her most recent victory. However Dany's violet eyes were also burning with a mad celebration of the power that she had just achieved from slaughtering the citizens of King's Landing. It filled Jon with an inexplicable mix of fear and joy. Jon let out a bereaved sigh as he walked towards Dany.

Dany turned her back to Jon in order to admire that wretched throne once again. "When I was a girl, my brother told me it was made with a thousand swords from Aegon's fallen enemies." Dany said. She back around to face Jon before stepping down towards him. "What do a thousand swords look like in the mind of a little girl who can't count to twenty? I imagined a mountain of swords too high to climb."

She's loving this. Jon realized. She's loving all of this.

It was then when Jon remembered why he was actually here. He was not here to beg for Dany's affections like an emaciated hound. He was here to confront her over the destruction that she had caused today. Jon could not get any of it out of his head. He could still hear the screams of women and children as Drogon's flames had devoured them. He could still see them turn into what resembled liquid tar. The flames had been so hot that the heat of them had seared Jon's skin; turning it bright pink. He could still smell the innocents of King's Landing being scorched by those flames. They had all smelled like cooked rabbit, and the scent had made Jon's stomach grumble.

Dany let out a soft chuckle as she moved closer towards him, and Jon felt the veins in his head pulsing with rage.

She has killed more people than Cersei ever has, and she doesn't even care? How can my Dany not care when, before today, all she ever did was care?

However, that was exactly it. That was then, and this was now.

"So many fallen enemies, you could only see the soles of Aegon's feet-"

"I saw Grey Worm executing Lannister prisoners in the street." Jon snapped. "He said that he was acting on your orders."

Dany's victorious joy had disappeared. Her violet eyes flashed with cold anger and she pursed her lips. "It was necessary."

"Necessary?" Jon snarled. "Have you been down there? Have you seen? Children! Little children BURNED!"

Dany flinched at the rage in Jon's voice, and for a moment, Jon thought that he might have gotten through to her. However, Dany let out a silent exhalation through nose as her eyes hardened once more. Her mad resolve had returned.

"I tried to make peace with Cersei." Dany said. "She used their innocence as a weapon against me."

From the tone of her voice, Dany might as well have been talking down to a small boy who did not know the difference between his fingers and his toes. Yet, Jon Snow was not a boy any longer; not after everything that he'd seen. Not after everything that he'd suffered. Not after everything that he'd done.

However, out of all the dreadful events that Jon had endured, this was by far the worst of them. He could hardly believe his ears. Dany was justifying the immolation of children without the slightest bit of hesitation or uncertainty. How could this be the same Daenerys Targaryen who had promised to build a better future for the next generation; the one who had promised to treat her subjects better than the tyrants who had come before her? By the Gods, Dany had even told Jon about a time when she had imprisoned all three of her dragons for killing one little boy, yet now she had no qualms about ordering Drogon to slaughter thousands of children just like that little boy.

Nevertheless, Jon could not allow himself to be paralyzed by his horror and heartbreak. If he had any chance of saving Dany, he had to power through his emotions and learn about her plans. The more Jon knew of what Dany was thinking, the better the chance he had of figuring out how to save her from herself.

"And Tyrion?" Jon asked.

"He conspired behind my back with my enemies." Dany said. "How have you treated people who have done the same to you? Even when it broke your heart?"

Jon lowered his head as guilt clutched at his heart. He had killed so many people. Qhorin Halfhand, Alliser Thorne, Olly, and hundreds of enemy rangers and soldiers. Not a day went by when Jon was not haunted by the lives he had taken. Jon would have given anything to have been able to spare them, but he had been unable to do any such thing. The need for survival had taken a number of his victims, and the way of the law had taken the rest-

That's it! Jon realized The law!

Dany was the Queen of Westeros now. Unlike Jon, she was not beholden to any laws. She could do anything that she wanted. She could decide who lived and who died. Dany would not have to answer to any laws because she was now the one in charge of creating them. Therefore, she had the right to show mercy whenever she wished.

"Forgive him." Jon pleaded as he looked up at Dany with desperate eyes.

"I can't." Dany replied.

"You can." Jon persisted. "You can forgive all of them. Make them see they've made a mistake. Make them understand."

A part of Jon felt ashamed for pardoning Dany for the bloodbath that she had created in King's Landing. He felt as if he was spitting in the faces of his family. Robb had been killed by the machinations of a tyrant. Sansa had been defiled and tormented by two tyrants. Bran had been paralyzed in the name of a tyrant. The trauma of what tyrants had done to the Stark family had turned Arya into a cold blooded assassin. After all of the pain and suffering that tyrants had unleashed upon the kingdoms of Westeros, Jon now found himself prepared to allow this one to stay in power.

Yet, what was the alternative? Jon remembered what Tyrion had urged him to do after their long talk in the dwarf's prison, but how could Jon justify such an action? He had sworn an oath to Dany. He had bent the knee and had given her his allegiance. However, was it still honorable for Jon to maintain that allegiance if it forced him to serve the whims of a mass murderess?

Jon tried to think of what his father would do, but in his situation, but he was at a loss. Jon could not picture Ned Stark supporting a reign of blood and fire, but neither could Jon see his father breaking his word. Jaime Lannister had been in the exact same position that Jon had now been thrust into. Jaime had decided to kill the Mad King and prevent the death toll in Westeros from becoming any higher. However, in the moment of Aerys II's death, Jaime had also killed the respect that the Seven Kingdoms had had for him. Ned Stark had thought of him as a foul oathbreaker.

It's easy to judge a man when you are far enough removed from his predicament. Jon thought. But now that I am faced with Jaime's same daunting choice, I find it impossible to condemn him.

Jon looked up at Dany to see if his words had made any headway. Dany had looked away from him, and Jon saw that her eyes were filled with confliction and grief. Under normal circumstances, Jon would have done anything to take away any emotional torment that his queen was feeling. However, at this particular moment, Jon felt his heart hammer and throb with hope. This meant that the old Dany was in there somewhere; that she realized the horror of what she had done in King's Landing and that it needed to be fixed.

Dany did not have to be killed in order to pay for her sins. She could pay for them just as easily by serving as the Queen of Westeros. Indeed, a queen's purpose was to serve her people, so that is exactly what Dany would do. She would spend the rest of her life taking care of her subjects, tending to their every whim, and healing all of the wounds that they had suffered; including the ones that had been inflicted by her. As long as Dany stopped her violent crusade, Jon would be able to find a way to make it work.

"Oh, please, Dany." Jon whimpered. Please come back to me.

Eventually, Dany responded by shaking her head, and the action devastated Jon.

"We can't hide behind small mercies." Dany said in a soft voice. "The world we need won't be built by men loyal to the world we have."

No! No! NO!

"The world we need is a world of mercy!" Jon cried. "It has to be!"

You have to be able to see that, Dany! PLEASE!

"And it will be." Dany whispered as she moved towards Jon. She acted as if he were a squalling baby that needed to be comforted and reassured.

Dany came to a halt five inches away from Jon. Jon felt himself overcome by the lovesickness that had struck him when he had first seen Dany sitting on her throne in Dragonstone. He wanted to soak in the shining waters of her purple eyes. He wanted to run his hands through her silky white-blond hair. He wanted to devour her lips with his. He wanted to rip off that ash colored dress that Dany was wearing and make love to her.

Jon's mind went back to the day when Daenerys had first taken him dragon riding. He remembered standing next to her; looking at waterfalls plunging into a snowy lake below. He also remembered the caves that those falls had shielded.

"We could stay a thousand years." Dany had said. "No one would find us."

We should have stayed there, Dany. Jon thought as his eyes burned. We should have stayed there and we should have never ever have gone back to Winterfell.

But it was far too late for that. When the choice stay at those falls had come their way, Jon and Dany had rejected it, and now they had to suffer the consequences of that rejection.

"It's...not easy to see something that has never been before." Dany said. Her voice was filled with awe. "The good world."

As Jon looked into Dany's eyes, he saw that all of the coldness inside of them had disappeared. Instead, her eyes flared with a childlike excitement, and she was giving Jon a tender smile. Jon would have normally relished in her joy, but not this time. On the contrary; he had just come to a horrible realization. Something essential was missing in Dany's violet eyes. It was her grasp on reality. She knew the level of the destruction that she had caused, but she had no idea of the implications or significance of that destruction. Dany was in a dream state, and if she was in a dream state, then she was irrational, and if she was irrational...then there was nothing that Jon could do to help her.

Yet, Jon would not give up. If there was even the slightest chance that he could avoid doing what Tyrion had asked him to do, then he would take it and run with it. He was learning more and more of Dany's plans by the second, and with any luck, his understanding of her unstable mind would pay off.

"How do you know?" Jon asked. "How do you know it will be good?"

Dany's brow crinkled into a frown of disbelief and indignation. "Because I know what is good." She admonished. However, Dany's expression soon softened, and Jon's heart jostled as she placed a hand upon his chest. "And so do you."

Jon shook his head as two long tears rolled down his face. "I don't."

"You do." Dany soothed as she placed her other hand on his shoulder. "You do. You've always known."

She has no idea what I am thinking of doing to her! Jon lamented. I am either about to let a madwoman slaughter all of Westeros, or I am about to murder the love of my life in cold blood. I am the last person in the entire world who knows what good is.

However, there might be a way for Jon to learn what it was. He needed to find out what Dany thought was good, and Dany's answer to his question would finally drive Jon to make a decision...one way or the other.

"What about everyone else?" Jon asked. "All the other people who think they know what is good?"

The tenderness in Dany's face melted away, and her violet eyes fogged up with cold dismissiveness. "They don't get to choose."

No, Dany! NO!

That was it. Jon had found the answer that he had been looking for. In Dany's newly mad mind, people could only be good if they followed her every whim, and if they didn't...then Drogon would roast them like he had the citizens of King's Landing. Jon knew of very few people in Westeros who would fit into Dany's rigid definition of good, which meant that she would turn most of her newly conquered subjects into burned out husks.

Therefore, if Jon wanted to save Westeros from complete destruction and torment, then there was only one thing that he could do to stop it...kill the mad queen who was seeking to destroy it.

However, before Jon could firm up his resolve, Dany took a hold of his hand and placed it on the side of her soft pale neck. She kept her other hand on Jon's chest and stepped close enough to him so that her breasts were pressing against him Her violet eyes were now filled with another emotion.

Love. Jon realized as more tears soaked his cheeks. Love for me.

"Be with me." Dany said with a quavering voice. "Build the new world with me. This is our reason for being. It has been from the beginning; ever since you were a little boy with a bastard's name and I was a little girl who couldn't count to twenty." Her grip on Jon's wrist tightened, and she gave him a tender smile. "We do it together. We break the wheel together."

She loves me! Jon thought as his heart burst with joy. Even though she saw me as a threat in the past, her fear was no match for the love that she feels for me!

Daenerys Targaryen was the most wondrous and incredible person that Jon had ever met in his entire life. She was brave, she was strong, she was resilient, and she never passed up on an opportunity to stand up for what was right. Dany could have taken any man in Westeros as her lover; she could have taken any man in the world as her lover. Yet, she had chosen Jon; a lowly bastard entitled to no honor, inheritance, or respect (or so he had thought at the time). When Dany had taken Jon to bed for the first time, he had felt so special and so elated that this incredible woman had loved him; him and no one else.

I'm not going to give her up. Jon thought. Not now. Not ever.

"You are my Queen." Jon sobbed. "Now...and always."

Dany's smile grew wider, and her eyes glimmered with the love that Jon had so deeply yearned for. An instant later, she closed her eyes and kissed him. Jon took a sharp intake of breath as he returned her kiss. Dany's lips were soft and slippery in the best way possible. Jon wrapped his arms around Dany and kissed her harder. Dany took his face into her hands and pulled his head closer so that she could better execute her onslaught of kisses.

All of Jon's despair melted away as he allowed himself to relax in Dany's embrace. Jon had his Dany back, and the only thing he wanted to do now was to lose himself in both her flesh and her love; right here and right now.

However, as soon as that thought had crossed his mind, Jon realized exactly where he would be making love to Dany. He was standing in a throne room with no ceiling; a throne room that was covered in charred walls and bone white ash. Beyond that room were the burned corpses of thousands of innocent civilians, and the ones that were still alive were getting their throats slit by Grey Worm and the rest of the Unsullied. Jon might be able to enjoy this moment with Dany now, but as soon as their lovemaking was over, he would be heading right back into a world of misery and pain.

No! Get those blasted thoughts out of your head! You are not killing Dany, you filthy bastard!

Jon darted his tongue into Dany's mouth. Dany moaned as she opened her mouth to accept it. It was not long before she started caressing his tongue with her own. Her kisses caused Jon to shudder with pleasure.

Nevertheless, Jon's pleasure did not prevent the truth from unraveling before his eyes. Once Jon and Dany left this ruined throne room, Dany would arrange for Tyrion's execution. She would have Drogon burn him alive in the center of the city; in front of all the Dothraki and the Unsullied. Tyrion would serve as an example for anyone who would cross the Queen of Westeros and the Mother of Dragons.

Once Dany had solidified her rule in King's Landing, she would make her way back to Winterfell. There, she would kill Sansa in the same manner that she had Tyrion. Before Jon could stop himself, he pictured Sansa being engulfed in flames; making his ears bleed with her agonized screams.

Jon let out a sharp gasp as he broke away from Dany. Dany sensed his unease and frowned with concern.

"What?" Dany whispered as she caressed Jon's cheeks. "What is it?"

Jon did not respond to her. He looked down at the ashy floor below as he struggled for air. The rest of his premonition played out in his mind. Winterfell would most likely be destroyed by the time Sansa was executed. The Northerners would never let Dany get her hands on Sansa without a fight. It would be the same wherever Dany went. She would lay waste to everything that came her way. If Jon was willing to let Dany's reign survive, then he might as well have let the Night King march as far south as he could reach, for the only difference between Dany and the Night King would be that Dany would destroy the world with fire rather than ice.

"Jon," Dany whispered. "My love; talk to me."

Jon looked up at Dany and whimpered. He could not allow himself to remain in denial any longer. The Dany that he knew and loved was lost to him forever. Only two choices remained now. Jon could either let Dany endure in order to protect his own heart, or he could put her to rest in order to prevent her soul from poisoning itself with any further darkness.

When he thought about the matter in that respect, the choice was the easiest one in the world to make.

"Jon-"

Jon unsheathed his dagger from his tunic and plunged it into Dany's chest. A guttural cry escaped into the air as the blade slipped through Dany's black velvet dress and sank into her flesh. However, when Jon saw that Dany's mouth had not moved, he realized that the agonized cry had come from him.

Dany lowered her head to look at the blade protruding from her chest. She blinked for a moment or two before looking back up at Jon. Her violet eyes produced heartbroken tears that slipped down her lovely face. Dany sank down to the ground and would have fallen flat on her back had Jon not reached out and caught her. Jon cradled Dany in his arms and lifted her up to face him.

Dany gasped, and as she did so, a thin line of blood dripped down the corner of her mouth. "I...I knew it. You...You wanted the throne for yourself. You never loved me."

"I do love you, Dany!" Jon cried as he nuzzled his forehead against hers. "I swear that I do! I love you now, and I will love you until the day that I die!"

"Then why?" Dany sobbed. Her violet eyes were producing more tears; tears that were mixing in with the blood that was dripping down her chin. "Why would you do this to me?"

"Because I couldn't let you hurt people anymore, Dany!" Jon cried as he put a blood drenched hand upon her cheek. "I couldn't let you turn into a monster! I had to save you!"

It was then that something strange happened. The betrayal and hurt had vanished from Dany's face. As blood began to slither down Dany's nostrils, she looked up at Jon with an expression of clarity. It was as if Dany had found a hidden piece of knowledge that she had been searching for her whole life. She placed her hand on Jon's hairy cheek and caressed it with her smooth pale fingers.

"And once for love." She whispered.

A moment later, Dany's hand slipped off of Jon's cheek and fell down to her side. A raspy exhalation rose from Dany's throat. It was the last sound she ever made. Dany's precious violet eyes lost all of their emotion and soon became sightless orbs that stared uncomprehendingly into nothingness.

She was dead. His Dany was dead.

Jon's body wracked with sobs. He wrapped Dany up into a bear hug and buried his face into her chest. With any luck, he would drown in the blood that gushed from her open wound. In Daenerys Targaryen, Jon had found everything that he had ever wanted. He could have spent the rest of his life basking in Dany's love, regardless of how mad it was. Yet, he had thrown it all away for the sake of his duty; to Tyrion, to Arya, to Bran, to Sansa, to Westeros, and even to Dany herself. Jon hated himself for doing what he did, but he had done it all the same.

It was exactly as Tyrion had said: "Sometimes duty is the death of love."

THE END

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