A/N: Horrible Doctor Cooper is finished, but I'm making you wait for it. I'll post Act II on Wednesday. Til then, I couldn't stop myself from writing, so here's this.
This is a rock band AU. I don't know where it came from, but I'm gonna go ahead and blame Risknight, since she seems to be blaming me for so many things lately. Turn about is fair play, my dear. ;)
Penny was about to spend the night getting reacquainted with her friends Carrie, Samantha, Miranda, and Charlotte, accompanied by a bottle of Merlot when her friends Bernadette and Stephanie barged through her front door into her apartment. Bernadette strode right past her and disappeared into her bedroom.
"Put down your wine and your remote," Stephanie practically squealed. "We're going to a concert!"
"What?" Penny asked, setting down her glass. "But this is my night to relax!" She stood and Stephanie followed her to her bedroom, where Bernadette was sorting through her closet. "Now I'm not usually one to turn down a good time, but I specifically set this night aside for relaxation. Why do I have to go with you?"
Bernadette's voice was muffled, as her head was stuck in the closet. "Remember when I said my boyfriend played bass guitar?"
Penny had a bad feeling about this. "Yeeaaah. He's in a band called The Big Bang, right? Oh please tell me you're not setting me up with one of his friends."
"Actually, no," Stephanie smirked from Penny's bed. "She's setting me up with one of his friends. The lead guitarist, Leonard Hofstadter. From what I understand they have a long-standing pact that if one ever gets a hot girlfriend that they have to set the other up with one of her friends." Then she grinned. "I'm the friend."
Penny levelled a look at her friend that said Uh huh. That's the hole truth and nothing but the truth?
"And...maybe she wants to introduce you to the others..." she said a little softer, trying to look innocent. Like it wasn't her idea in the first place. "Alright, we just don't want you to be alone and sulky after Kurt. He was a bag of dicks anyway." Then she grinned. "Who knows! Maybe you'll have fun!"
Bernadette finally emerged from Penny's closet holding three different dresses. Penny vetoed them immediately. If she really was going to a concert she sure as hell wasn't wearing a dress.
"What do these guys sound like?" she asked. "Got anything I could listen to first? I'm not going to a concert without knowing whether or not they suck. No offense to Howard."
"I've got a song on my phone," said Bernadette. "It's Howie's ringtone."
She played it for her. Penny had her eyes closed, absorbing it. It wasn't bad. Heavy distortion, but not too much. More Chevelle than Metallica. Ugh. It was right up her alley. They had to know that. Damn them.
"Alright, they're not terrible," she conceded. "But if I'm going to a rock concert I'm wearing jeans and boots, not some dress that could get torn or looked under."
~*DD*~*DD*~*DD*~
Bernadette gave them their backstage passes when they got out of the car.
"We're going to go through the back so we can see the guys before they play." Bernadette was obviously excited, though for the band, her boyfriend, or setting up her friends Penny wasn't sure. "We've also been allowed to stand offstage instead of in the crowd," she continued, turning a corner. "Which is good for me, because I'm so small I wouldn't be able to see much." They stopped at a door guarded by a big guy in black.
"Hey Bernie, Howard's waiting for you." Bernadette thanked him and led the way to the green room.
"Hi Howie!" Bernadette squealed - which meant only dogs could hear it, since her voice was so high-pitched to begin with. She pulled his head down for a kiss, careful not to mess up his hair. It was slicked back and looked good with his 5 o' clock scruff. Black skinny jeans and a v-neck made his tiny frame look a bit more appealing, but he wasn't something Penny or Stephanie would go for. Too short for Penny and too slim for Stephanie. Penny liked 'em tall and Stephanie didn't like feeling like she was going to break some when she hugged them.
Another short guy, but taller than Howard, came up to them. "Hi, I'm Leonard. Which one of you is Stephanie?" His eyes lingered a bit longer on Penny, obviously hoping for her.
"That would be me," Stephanie held her hand out and Leonard shook it, smile a little more forced before, but still sincere enough. "And this is Penny," she touched Penny's shoulder and Leonard shook her hand as well.
"Well, as you know, I'm Leonard, and that's Howard," he gestured to the two looking like they were trying to eat each others' faces. "Try not to look too long or you might lose your appetite." He pointed to the Indian guy air drumming, "That's Raj. Don't be offended if he doesn't talk to you. He's a selective mute. He can't talk to girls unless he's drunk." The girls looked skeptical, but Leonard shrugged. "He's seeing a therapist about it, but I don't think it's working." He was wearing a gray vest over a white t-shirt and black athletic shorts - probably for ease of drumming.
Leonard moved on to the lead singer. "That's Shel. He doesn't like to be bothered before a show, but the least he could do is say hello!" He directed that last part toward Shel, who finally looked up from his guitar. He slid the studio noise-cancelling headphones down around his neck and nodded at the girls.
"Hello." He was dressed in a while long sleeved shirt underneath a plain black tee and darkwash jeans. His voice was soft and Penny could tell he carefully hid a southern accent, possibly Texan. He reached beside him and grabbed a can of Finger Ease. He sprayed a little and smeared it up and down the neck. Penny's eyes were transfixed. Shel's fingers were incredibly dextrous. And with his dark hair and glacier eyes she was starting to get the excited squeals she'd overheard on her way in. He was hot.
Leonard saw her staring and deflated a bit. The girls almost always went for Shel over him. "He doesn't like to talk before a show," he explained. "Let's his vocal chords rest after warmup."
Bernadette finally decided she'd had enough to eat and joined them at the stage exit, arm still around Howard. "We should get to our spots and leave the guys to finish getting ready. Come on." She linked arms with them and they left together.
The show lasted longer than Penny had thought it would, but they were also better than she thought they'd be, so she didn't complain. Shel definitely knew how to play, and his singing was surprisingly good. Much better in person than on Bernadette's phone. One song in particular caught her interest.
Put a bullet to my head
Spatter the wall
With the blood of the imagined
The once-beloved fallen hero
Annihilated by one simple act.
Embrace the darkness,
Let it take over.
Will I feel better
When this is over?
Sanity is shattered
By the force of the dying hero's
Screams of agony.
My blood boils and my vision goes red
At the sight and sound of the bleeding hero.
Become the villain
As vision goes red.
Become the villain,
Because the hero is dead.
Cloaked in darkness
As if it were a part of me,
I stalk the night looking for prey.
I am the villain
And the villain is a predator.
Become the villain
As vision goes red.
Become the villain,
Because the hero is dead.
It was an odd song. Odd in the fact that it stood out from the rest of their stuff. Penny really liked it. It was dark, but also kind of beautiful, in a fall-from-grace kind of way. Like an antihero being rejected and turning darkside. The rest of the concert was almost drab in comparison.
When it was over they stepped out of the way, letting the guys pass. Howard stopped to kiss Bernadette again and Penny looked away just in case they got into it again. She needn't have worried. Apparently Bernadette didn't like her man sweaty.
"You guys were great!" Stephanie said once they re-entered the green room. Immediately, Shel started passing out bottles of water.
"You know the drill," he said. "Rehydrate, then you can all go party to your hearts' content. He said it like he wouldn't be joining them.
"You're not coming, then?" Penny asked him. She had been looking forward to actually talking to him after the show.
"No," he responded. "I never do. Parties aren't my thing. I just do it for the music." He paused and half-smiled. "And for something to do while I'm not unravelling the mysteries of the universe." At her curious look he elaborated. "I'm a theoretical partical physicist. Two doctorates," he smirked. "This is just a hobby. Like paintball or Halo. Except it pays better." He took a long drink from the water bottle, then poured a little on his head, running his free hand through his hair. It looked better messed up, Penny thought.
"I was going to get something to eat," said Shel, interrupting her ogling. "Would you like to come with me?"
Penny smiled, glad of the excuse to get away from the two love-birds and the new couple getting to know each other. "I would love to."
A/N2: The song I used is actually a poem of mine that I modified slightly, so I didn't rip anyone off. It's a shameless plug, but also original, so you can all suck it. XD