Session #1: Language Barrier
A flip of a corpse and a relieved sigh echoed through the cement halls, "Not Barney," Dr. Gordon Freeman assured himself while taking the dead security officer's ammunition. It wasn't stealing if the subject in question was deceased, that's what he told himself. His Father wouldn't be too pleased but he did bring about this condition onto himself. How arrogant of him to try and- never mind. He was human now. Checking every security guard had become Gordon's way to keep sane through the consequences of the Resonance Cascade. It made him sure that some of the people he actually cared about were still alive. One in at least three hundred and fifty security officers...Freeman smirked, he liked his odds.
Five months earlier...
It was a lovely binge of a night but both Freeman and Calhoun were still going through shots like college boys instead of the responsible adults they were supposed to be. "Man, I should head on back; Lauren's gonna call soon..." Barney murmured with a loopy smile on his face. "[hic!] You're still with her? Shit, it's been what, a year?" Gordon egged on before taking another shot of mezcal. "You two should get married or somethin'." That made the guard laugh hysterically, "Me? The great Barney Calhoun? Married? Christ, that tequila's gettin' to ya, Gordo!" This was one of Calhoun's most notable traits; his inability to commit to someone for more than 365 days, let alone marry. Neither enjoyed staying with the same romantic partner for too long although Gordon's flightiness was less markedly so. "So, what happened to Heather from Biology?" Barney asked, fully knowing the answer but nonetheless asking to see the reaction. The physicist's face dropped and was replaced with annoyance, "She tasered me. Lemme repeat: TASERED me." Totally worth it.
Gordon caught that little sour grapes happiness and slapped the back of his best friend's head. "You enjoyed that, you Schadenfreude," Freeman hissed rather miffed. "Your mother," Barney snapped back, drunk but not stupid. Since meeting the MIT graduate, the guard knew that he tended to slip into gratuitous German whenever he was angry, annoyed, and in more hilarious cases, bumbling with women. Rather sad when a cute bartender slapped him and called him Hitler. More funsies for Barnes then! "Your mom's a kinky woman then." "Fuck you." To rub salt into Calhoun's language wounds, Gordon also spoke and read fluent French, Spanish, and scientific-grade Greek.
This was always a nifty trick to have as Calhoun regularly came into his friend's lab or dorm for translation aid. One night, at 4:21 am, Gordon was begrudgingly awake to the resounding knocks at his door. "What, Barn?" the physicist didn't look like he'd slept a full night; maybe because he hadn't. The security guard held up a letter, "I just got this from Lauren, and I think she's trying to show off her Language 101." Freeman didn't bother reading it and said groggily, "She hates you and wants to dump your ass." "Bullshit! I've seen enough French pornos to know jet'aime means I love you!" Be still the scientist's heart, it quelled with an eye roll, "If you learned French from pornos, then I know Japanese." It took less than a second for Calhoun to get the joke and was instantly squicked out. "You sick fuck!" "Go to sleep, Barney."
Session # 2: Kiss
Freeman had counted twelve dead guards, counting the one vaporized in the Blast Pit, none were Barney. At first, he was thankful but now it was beginning to worry him. Would his best friend be detained somewhere? Would he be infected by these...things? Gordon was sure His Father had to be high to conceive the Houndeyes or the Bullsquids, PCP for the headcrabs. There was no way for this to be rational. The more sentient aliens were closer to sanity but that was irrelevant. A computer screen flashed BLACK SHEEP COME HOME intermittently and the physicist simply ignored it. He wasn't abandoning this place, going the easy way out the mess he helped create.
His fingers hovered along those severely dry lips and instantly closed his eyes. People like him tasted of cinnamon when they got hammered. Evens out the alcohol in their blood.
3 months ago...
The first kiss had been done on a dare by Dr. Samuels, during that year's newbie hazing. "C'mon; you two are always flirting anyways!" the middle-aged woman chortled out, giddy with booze. "Witty comebacks and the occasional fist fights flirting doesn't make," Freeman groaned, nursing his beer can. "Like hell, we all know about-" "THAT WAS MIT. WEIRD SHIT HAPPENS DURING GREEK WEEK," Gordon instantly cut off any curiosity about that onetime in college. But...he'd be lying if he hadn't enjoyed it. Oh, this strange man was not a virgin. Hasn't been one in years. Centuries one could say. Still, that very same kiss was worth $1000 and Gordon knew Barney reallyneeded that money this month. So, he came up to the security guard, grabbed his face and seized his lips for a full 5 seconds. Calhoun was stunned at how...tender Freeman was in this kiss; he expected the full prickle of the goatee but got soft lips. An unnatural spice lined the lock, gone just as fast as it came. It felt cinnamon-y. "You can thank me later," Freeman whispered between their lips before grabbing the bottle of mezcal and heading back to his room. Either he was too drunk or too stunned but after that, all Barney remembered was that envelope signed and full of cash.
The week later, Calhoun sneaked into his best friend's rather small cubicle and presented him with a bottle of Jack Daniels. "Yeah, I watched the security tapes," Barney smirked and offered a glass. "The things I do for you, Barnes," Freeman laughed and toasted, "To you getting some breath mints. You almost killed me back there!"
Session #3: Butterfly
Gordon breathed as he closed the door behind him with a slight of his hand. Another and the door locks itself. Stillhavesomeofthat left, he thought to himself, exhausted and leaning against the wall. He was still reeling from going headfirst into that HECU squadron, bullet wounds slowly closing. Green eyes glowed dully in the darkness, vulnerable for the first time since last night. For a moment, Freeman removed the neck piece from his HEV suit and rubbed the butterfly bruise. That last soldier managed to strangle him for a few precious seconds. I'llbeseeingandfeelingthesetomorrow, he admitted tiredly but tomorrow was looking so far away. His back ached so much, reminding him that he could heed the call left by the screens, be free again. "No...I have to find Barney...fix all this."
Taking advantage of the privacy, the physicist took off the rest of his armor and stretched. Two large and quite old scars stood out against fresher and more painful wounds on his back. And yet, he was so fond of them.
4 Months Ago...
"WHAT THAT FUCK HAPPENED TO YOU?" caught the scientist off guard so badly, he almost tripped in his shower. "Wha?" "Dude, your back's all torn up! What, you get into a wrestling match with a lawn mower?" Barney continued his inquiry, ever so curiously drawing closer. For a moment, Gordon hesitated on letting his friend get near but relented. They felt worn down, as if they were painted onto his skin. "Um...never a good idea to play with the neighbor's tools," Freeman answered as best as he could. "Damn, Gordo; they look nasty." Either Calhoun was deliberately lingering in his touch or he forgot his best friend was down to his underwear and just about to get wet. "Barnes? I stink like a biology experiment gone wrong two weeks ago." He should not have asked because he immediately missed those fingertips on his shoulders, or at least the touch, not the slap. "Sorry to interrupt your me-time, Princess," Barney chuckled a bit and finally left the physicist be in his bath.
Twenty minutes later, as he dried off his auburn hair and placed his glasses, he saw his friend help himself to a beer. "That's the fifth beer you've mooched off me," Gordon pointed out, clinking his bottle with Barney's. "You love me, you'll recover," the security guard joked, "and you owe me from those basketball tickets last season." Freeman raised an eyebrow and sighed, "Just get the Seagal marathon started."
It could not have been the most opportune moment if he tried: the dark room, distracting movie visuals and sounds... Gordon returned the touch to Barney, along the lower back, masking this strange affection with a prank. Once contact was made, the obligatory startle scene coincided with it, and Barney almost embeddedhimself to the roof. "YOU FUCKER! NOT FUNNY!" Aucontraire, Freeman has fallen on the floor, hurting from laughing too hard. "Fucking worth it." Later into the marathon, during a more meditative scene, Calhoun surmised, "They look like wings though...like a bird or a butterfly." Freeman stared for a second to ask, "Uh huh. That's enough booze, Barnes. I'll call Lauren, prescribe you two oral, and call me in the morning if you still feel stupid." "Ass, I meant your scars And you can't prescribe shit, we found out the hard way, remember?" Barney shot back, finishing up the sixth bottle and starting the seventh. "It was still hilarious."
Session #4: Illness
When Freeman killed his first Guard zombie, his heart dropped to the floor. He'd counted 26 security employees, 27 with this development. As truly disgusted as it was, the physicist waited until the creature gave his last breath and yanked the headcrab off the victim's face. The squish and slurp gave way to the phallic limb release and a good look at the man. Although the acid melted the skin away, Gordon said his mantra, "Not Barney." An act of kindness was in order, so he closed the dead man's jaw and posed him comfortably. It was around this time that he started to question his role in the Resonance Cascade. It was all too contrived, almost programmed for him to insert the anomalous sample. He'd seen the strange government man in the hall, looking at the scientist with interest. No one but him.
With his two years working in Black Mesa, Gordon had only recently moved out of the cubicles and started putting his brilliant theories to work. He was now seeing the practical uses of his and his fellows' research...simply amazing. This is why he was the black sheep of his family: he was too curious about the how and why of the world. He dared question why everything happened and it made him a favored son. But, something changed in the theoretical physicist; only now he'd started to miss family. That something had been- A Bullquid's long howl meant that this hallway was anything but secure. He'd have to give this G-man matter thought another time; right now, he was dealing with this plague.
Two months ago...
"ACHOO! FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK," Barney's holler fell into deaf ears, literally; Gordon was too busy running simulations and listening to his walkman. So imagine his dull surprise when his best friend showed up shit-faced to his cubicle. "I phink I'm sick," Calhoun muttered, red eyes and runny nose at full glory. "And?" "Hold me," the guard tried to hug the scientist but found himself hugging a clipboard. "Go away, you CDC nightmare," Freeman chuckled while offering a bottle of water, "I have a spotless record and I want to keep it that way." A sip later and Barney plopped onto Gordon's seat, "Lauren's comin' over with her parents and this shit happens? Who did I piss off in a past life to deserve this?" "I'm guessing a doctor or someone trying to do their job?" the nerd sarcastically answered. "Am I interrupting something ultra-important? Because I kinda need my best friend more than the Department of Defense right now," the guard whined. "You are so needy, Barnes," Gordon rolled his eyes and shooed Barney out of his chair, "Come, sit on my lap and tell your buddy how can he help you."
Calhoun groaned and actually followed the suggestion, leaning on Freeman's shoulder before answering, "A li'l bit of sympathy would be nice." "Ha, you're out of luck; I'm a highly-functioning sociopath. And last time I checked Black Mesa's a restricted area. She's bullshitting you into coming over to her place and get nasty," Gordon sniped back, rubbing Barney's back tenderly. "I'm already nasty, freaky, and kinky. But, right now, I'd rather not." A Dr. Sayers, floor douche, instantly quipped, "Gay," then sat on his cubicle, only to have his computer mysteriously crash. "Dude, just go to the medical wing or be a man and use the Med-Station," Freeman reasoned while Barney wiped his nose. "I hate needles," was the reason given. Any quip died when Calhoun saw the judging look in his friend's almost impossibly green eyes. "Fine, but if I turn into a mutant because of the Med-Station reacting to the bug, I blame you." "You love me, now get out before Magnusson catches you here and has a fit," Gordon bid farewell and resumed his tedious report-writing.
Session # 5: Pet
Watching the Ichthyosaur swim around in circles around the submerged room made Gordon a bit uneasy about swimming. No corpses of scientists or guards could be seen but, as soon as he killed this oversized fish stick, he'd make sure of this fact. The poor scientist, one Dr. Yancy Roberts, had been stuck there for a while now and he was looking paler by the minute when he explained the tranquilizer gun. Contrary to his requests, Gordon was going tokill the alien fish, not sedate it for further study. But his words would go unheard, so he silently grabbed the weapon, and hopped inside the cage.
The spastic movements the monster acted up probably meant it was stuck in a reflux loop, unstable and enraged. Freeman kept a sane mind, shooting the alien fish...until he saw it. A guard's body, torn apart with just-graying black hair...Barney. The Ichthyosaur lunged at full speed but suddenly went belly up for no good reason. Dr. Roberts discovered, upon further examination, that all the creature's internal organs had been instantly liquefied. All he heard Gordon murmur was "Not Barney."
A year ago...
"The fuck is that?" "Lauren's dog, I know," Barney groaned, holding the yappy toy breed dog biting his glove, "Our first anniversary and we got a dog. I preferred a Labrador but noooooooo, got me a hyperactive Furby." Gordon was holding in a laugh when he asked, "So what's his name?" "...Bruiser." Freeman could barely breathe, he was laughing and convulsing that hard. "Shut up! It's not like I had a choice in the matter!" "You are officially whipped!" the scientist corrected, regaining his footing and managing to scratch the chihuahua's head. "How come you're so good with dogs?" Barney commented, the dog in question was instantly subdued. "I'm just good with bitches, I guess. I mean, I handle you just fine," Freeman quipped, earning a punch to the arm. "Ow!"
As much as the dog wriggled and skittered about the small office space, the two friends shared a beer. "I can't believe you got a chihuahua," the physicist rubbed in the guard's face just a little longer. "I'm wet with joy," Calhoun growled. "Give 'im time, dude; show him you're the alpha mutt and he'll follow," Gordon smiled and took a sip. "Or what?" "Or he'll attempt to emasculate you in your sleep." The glare the nerd got was more than enough to make the scientist chuckle and duck the rightfully deserved punch to the nose.