A/N- The main listed characters are Kish and Pudding, but really it's… Kish, Pudding, Tart, Ichigo, Lettuce, Keiichiro, Pai, and Ryou. It only fits two though…
Disclaimer: If I owned TMM I would publish this, not post it on a fan fiction site!
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"I don't see any way out of it," Ryou Shirogane informed the group of five girls clustered around him and his computer, listening to his proposal. "It's distasteful, it's immoral, but if we're going to win this war we will have to take drastic measures."
"Shirogane-san, cut the crap and get to the point," model Zakuro Fujiwara advised waspishly.
"You want the point? All right, but you won't like it."
"Yeah, we get that. Now what won't we like?" Zakuro wanted to know.
Ryou sighed. "While it seems we're winning this fight—don't even open your mouth Zakuro, I'm getting to the point—it seems we are winning this fight, but in all honesty, it's at stalemate. Not to mention the alien's confidence. They're so cocky, I think they might have a secret weapon. We have to force them to surrender. The only way I can think of to do that is to kidnap one of them."
"Are you out of your mind?" exploded Mint, half angry, half laughing.
"Um… but we're supposed to be the good guys," Lettuce ventured timidly. "Wouldn't—well, wouldn't it be sinking to their level to kidnap one of the members of their team?"
"Lettuce, if you haven't noticed, this is a war," Ryou reminded the bespectacled girl. "Would you let them destroy humanity?"
"Ryou, there's a problem with your plan," Ichigo informed him, crossing her arms.
"There is?" Ryou asked. He didn't see any snags. "What is it?"
"They can teleport."
"Oh, that's no problem!" exclaimed Ryou. "Keiichiro and I have come up with an injection to counteract the teleporting gene for up to twenty-six hours at a time."
"So then comes the question of who they will want back the most," Zakuro mused.
"You're not agreeing to this!" Lettuce exploded, disgust evident on her features. The other five in the room turned to look at the green porpoise mew, surprised.
"It's as Shirogane-san said," Zakuro reminded her. "This is a war. All our decisions will be in shades of grey, but we have to win, no matter the cost."
"Fine. Kidnap one of them. But don't expect me to have any part in this," Lettuce spat. She turned on her heel and stalked away from the group, even her braids appearing indignant as they swung behind her. When the green mew reached the threshold she spun around. "And you all don't uphold justice if you do this. You're as bad as—worse than the aliens!" Having had her say, the porpoise mew then whirled about and stormed out of the room.
There was a moment of shocked silence. They all found the idea of kidnapping distasteful, but… "She'll come around eventually," Ryou determined finally. "Everyone else in?" he inquired.
"Without a doubt," agreed Zakuro.
"I suppose so," sighed Mint in a long-suffering manner.
"We've got nothing to lose," stated Ichigo.
Only Pudding remained silent. "Pudding? Pudding, we need your take on the plan," urged Ichigo.
"I'm thinking," Pudding told her, frowning uncharacteristically. Finally, she sighed. "It's just—Kish and Taru-taru are my friends. They help me with housework and all." The monkey mew bit her lip, considering. "Fine, we can do this, but we have to be nice to whoever we get," the child conceded.
"Not if we get Kish!" Ichigo protested. "If we kidnap Kish we have to torture him."
"Sure," agreed Mint. "Because it would be more effective to torture him shirtless." The blue mew giggled atypically.
Ichigo pantomimed vomiting. "He can keep the shirt," she muttered.
"So who would be most effective to take?" Zakuro asked, glaring the other, younger girls into silence.
"Not Pai," determined Mint. "They wouldn't want him back!"
"So that leaves Tart and Kish," Zakuro mused, puzzling out who would be better.
"I—I can probably get Tar-tar over here pretty easily, maybe," Pudding said regretfully. "But—I just don't like it! He comes over to help me take care of my siblings. He acts grudging and all, but—"
"You've had the opportunity to kidnap Tart before and you haven't already done it?" yelped Ryou.
"Well, I didn't know I was supposed to!" Pudding cried defensively.
"Well Kish or Tart then, whoever we see first," Mint decided, trying to spare Pudding some misery. She knew the young girl had a huge crush on Tart.
"Great, it's decided. Now get back to work while I talk Lettuce around," Ryou ordered. With some grumbling from Mint and Ichigo they went their separate ways; the mews headed back to work, Ryou went to find Lettuce.
000ooo000ooo000ooo000
The morning after the mews decided on their plan, Kish too was hit with a stroke of brilliance. "Oi, Tart!" the older alien cried, whacking his friend with a pillow.
"Gyah!" Tart yelled, falling out of bed and landing on his butt on the floor. "What!?" he asked angrily, staring up at Kish from the ground.
"Look, I know it looks like we're losing this war, but we're not. In fact, if we just had a mew aqua, we could win this," Kish informed Tart, his eyes blazing.
Tart wasn't impressed. "You woke me up at seven in the morning to tell me that?" the sleep-lover asked furiously. "Why are you telling me this and not Pai?"
"Well… I thought it'd be less dangerous to wake you up before ten than Pai," Kish admitted.
"Fine, you evil baka," Tart grumbled, pushing himself to his feet. "So, oh grand genius, what do you say we do about it?" he grumped.
"Simple. To get a mew aqua, we need to hold one of the mew mews for ransom. And… well, you know, we'll have to keep it kinda secret. If Pai finds out, he'll start prepping the torture chamber." Kish glanced nervously over his shoulder as though expecting to see their oldest comrade standing there. Satisfied that the purple haired alien was asleep, the middle boy continued.
"So, I was thinking the next time Pudding invites us over to her house to help clean or baby-sit—and it doesn't matter who she invites, as long as it's one of us—we'll go over and teleport her up to the ship."
"What about all her siblings?" Tart asked worriedly.
"Oh yeah, her siblings!" Kish remembered. "Eh… we'll take turns looking after them. It's the least we can do," the emerald haired alien decided. "Why didn't we think of this before? It's brilliant!"
"I don't know why," Tart said absentmindedly, wanting to get a weighing question off his chest. "We'll—we'll be nice to her, won't we?" he asked, trying not to sound like he cared or anything.
"Of course!" Kish exclaimed. "Otherwise we'd just give her straight to Pai, and that wouldn't be pretty. I mean, yeah she's our enemy, but she's also our friend. Pai's the only sadist here, and he really doesn't have to know we captured her."
"Okay," Tart agreed doubtfully. "As long as she doesn't get hurt…"
"Aha!" Kish smirked triumphantly. "I thought you only wanted to keep Pudding alive because you haven't seen her cry yet. So you should want her to get hurt. But you don't. So I can only conclude you have a crush on her! You like her! You want to date her! Kawaii!"
"Shut up! I meant in a fight! I haven't seen her cry in a fight! She has to stay alive until I make her cry when we're fighting!" blustered Tart, his face flaming scarlet.
"Sure, sure, you just keep telling yourself that," snorted Kish, who knew all the signs of a serious crush when he saw them.
Tart's cell phone rang suddenly. Only one person would call Tart before noon. "Hello?" the alien asked uneasily, answering the video phone.
Sure enough, Pudding's face appeared on the screen. "Tar-tar! I seriously need some help at my house. Chincha wrecked his room, and all the kids are going—Honcha put that down!"
"I'll be right over," Tart promised. He hung his phone up, his face paler than usual, dread etched on his youthful features. "This is it then." He willed his voice not to break.
He couldn't have known that down on the planet, Pudding placed the phone back in its receiver, took a shuddering breath, and fought back tears. "This is it, then," she whispered.