I rewrote the first chapter. It is basically the same story, except I made a few small changes. Hopefully you guys like it.

The doors burst open. A 14-year old girl stepped out. She had long white hair, fluorescent green eyes, and a faint white glow surrounding her body. She wore simple black dress, tube on top, ruffle on bottom. The girl pushed her hair out of her face, revealing a small tatoo on her left shoulder, a musical note. She looked around the room she was standing in. She recognized it, but somehow, it was different. After a few seconds, she flew through the ceiling and disappeared.

Danny Fenton was walking to school with his two best friends, Sam Manson and Tucker Foley. "Man, it's been forever since I've had a ghost-free night!" Danny said with a smile.
"Yeah, I feel rested for once in my life." Tucker replied. The group of kids continued to walk to school. However, they failed to notice a pair of green eyes hiding in a nearby tree, and that the eyes were following their every move. Finally arriving at school, the trio separated to go to their lockers.
"Hey Fenturd!" Dash Baxter, captain of the football team, the most popular boy in school, and the biggest bully in school.
"What do you want Dash?" Danny replied in a very bored voice.
"What do you think I want? To wail on you!" Dash grabbed Danny by the collar, lifting him off the ground. As usual, Dash stuffed Danny in his locker and slammed it shut. Dash walked away laughing with his friends while Danny sat in the locker. He waited for the jocks voices to fade away before phasing out of the locker. Before he could, a girl opened it, sending Danny crashing to the floor.
"Thanks," Danny mumbled as he stoof up, but the girl was gone, so he continued to his class. As he walked in the door, the girl's eyes flashed green as she disappeared down the hall. -"Dude, you gotta tell me more about the girl that rescued you! Was she cute?" Tucker excitedy asked Danny.
"I've already told you all I know. I didn't get a chance to look at her." Danny replied whie shoveling food into his mouth.
"Ugh, how can you eat that filth?" Sam was disgusted by all things meat, she was an Ultra Recyclo-Vegetarian.
"Just because you're vegetarian doesn't mean we are too." Tucker snapped back at her, he joined Danny in the shoveling of food.
"I know that, but it's cafeteria food. The best food they serve is still gross." Sam ate her wheat grass quietly, as opposed to the boys.
Sam and Tucker continued bickering back and forth while Danny finished off the last of his...unidentified meat product. Then Danny got up and walked out of the cafeeria, Sam and Tucker close behind him.
"Where are you going Danny?" Sam asked.
"I want to find that girl, I don't know what her ame is and I don't really know what she looks like but I have a feeling I will know her when I find her." Danny answered her while jogging through the halls looking for the girl. Suddenly stepped out of is classroom, blocking the trio's way.
"Where do you think you're going?" He asked them while his entire class watched from in the room.
"I'm looking for a girl..." Danny started to explain before interrupted.
"Aren't we all? I suggest looking for her in the cafeteria, or even better, detention." And with that, returned to his classroom and shut the door.

Later that day, in dentention, Danny, Sam, and Tucker were discussing the girl once again.
"Danny, stop obsessing over it. She's probably an upperclassman. Those guys are always busy." Sam said to Danny.
"But she looked the same age as us. There is no way she was an upperclassman." Danny replied.
"Maybe she is new, and she got lost. As students here at Casper High, it is our duty to help girls in need!" Tucker butted in with a very moving speech.
"Well then we should find her. Like Tucker said, its our duuuughugh." Danny began before Sam tackled him to the floor, covering his mouth so he couldn't speak.
"Sam get off Danny." Tucker pulled Sam away, luckily, right before walked in.
"Detention is over, you kids can go home now." held the door open as they left.

That night, Danny kept thinking about that girl. He couldn't figure out why it was bugging him so much. He saw tons of girls all day every day. But with this girl, there was something different, something unique, something unforgettable.
Not surprisingly, Danny didn't get any sleep that night, resulting in a more tiring than usual day at school.

At school, when Danny wasn't falling asleep in class, he was searching for the mysterious girl. He asked everybody he saw if they knew her without any luck. He finally made his way to the office.
The secretary at the desk was reading a fashion magazine. She didn't even look up when Danny entered. He had to clear his throat twice before she saw him.
"Can I help you?" The secretary's voice sounded very nasely and hoarse, but Danny ignored it.
"I am looking for a student, I think she is new but I don't know what her name is." Danny burst out in one breath.
"What do you know about her?" The secretary lazily asked as she spun her chair to the computer siting on a desk on the other side.
"Well, She is either a freshman or a sophmore, she is about my height and she had very blonde hair." Danny slowly made his way over to her desk.
"The only student I can find that matches that description is a girl named Star, is that who you are looking for?" The secretary suddnely had a very low voice, she sounded really upset.
"No, but thanks, I'll keep looking." Danny quickly made his way out of the office only to bump into her.
She stared at Danny for a minute, then turned to make a break for it, however Danny caught her arm.
"Wait a second, are you new?" He asked her. She hesitated but slowly nodded.
"Are you a freshman?" Danny asked. Again, she nodded.
"Do you need any help finding your classes? I can help you, I know where most of the classes are." The girl shook her head and tried to escape Danny's grip, but failed.
"Can I at least have your name?" Danny asked her. She paused briefly before nodding. She dug through the bag she was wearing and pulled out a pen and a piece of paper. She began writing until Danny interrupted. "Wouldn't it be easier to just tell me?" The girl shook her head. She crumpled up the paper and threw it in the air. anny released her to catch it, when he did, she ran away. Danny picked up the paper from the ground. He carefully unfolded it so it wouldn't rip and read the name outloud.
"Melanie"

Thank you for reading my story! Please review it. I am okay with constructive criticism but please don't flame!