Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal alchemist.
Warning: Past MPREG.
ONE
He opened his eyes wondering what was going on until he saw the one he was hoping would come back was there. He was soundly sleeping beside him and a smile tugged at Ed's lips. It had to be a dream. Of course it had to have been he thought. Roy wouldn't die and leave him all alone. Roy would die before he did that to him. Smiling he leaned over and gave him a big kiss on the cheek enjoying the feel of raking his hands through the raven dark hair. He loved that hair. He loved his lovers eyes. Hell he loved him. He frowned wondering why he would be dreaming of his death if he was here all along and God he was breathing. All of a sudden he remembered Haydyn. Where was Haydyn? He started panicking when he couldn't find her and realized that he would have to wake up Roy. He didn't want to but they had a baby. Oh god what if he was dreaming? He'd have to wake up right and then he would be fine. Roy would still be with him and then he'd get Haydyn. Suddenly he spotted her between them and wondered how he could not spot her right away. She was his daughter and he became good at it over the months. He happily snuggled into bed then savoring the memory of his lover and their daughter.
Ed was up with a blink.
Looking over he saw Haydyn sucking her thumb in her sleep. She had often did that, although it was nights when she didn't lay on her side with her mouth opened. He sighed. The girl was going to be the death of him yet and she was only eight months old. Remembering the dream suddenly, he turned expecting to see Roy only to be disappointed. It really was just a dream. Roy isn't here and he won't ever be again. He raked a hand through Haydyn's baby raven hair and laid back with a sigh. Often these days he found himself waking up and hoping beyond all doubt that whatever he dreamt would be real. His need to see the man again often set himself to disappointment after disappointment. Roy wasn't coming back. He died eight months ago in order to save the girl in front of him now. It was getting to where Ed would often try to wake the man up and his dream would end. It was always the same result in the end though; an empty side that Roy no longer inhabited.
"I miss you Roy. Why are you doing this to me?" He pulled the ring free from his night shirt and held onto the ring tightly, holding it close to his chest. "I used to believe that I didn't need you but now I couldn't imagine the thought of ever living without you."
He frowned knowing that Roy had made that choice in the beginning and he couldn't blame him for it. He didn't want to die. But Ed knew he would have willingly given up his life for the child if he had to and it came down to abortion or possible death. His choice was still stinging Ed. I don't care what decision he made he should have told me, Ed thought to himself.
He looked over again and saw Haydyn's dark midnight eyes blinking up to him. He smiled softly and let the chain slip back inside his shirt. She smiled that cute small smile when she wasn't getting into mischief and Ed placed a palm on top of her head.
"Goo goo."
Ed nodded.
Whatever that meant, it had to be something informative. He glanced at the clock and noticed that it was just about five a.m. about now. He groaned really wanting to get to sleep now but just the idea of what Hawkeye would do if he walked in late was not worth the few hours of extra sleep in the end. Sighing, he pulled the blankets off of him and Haydyn tried to follow.
"Come on, let's get you something to eat and then get you dressed."
Haydyn nodded.
"Gaga."
He nodded again.
"Say papa."
She just looked at him and he sighed. No matter what, he was going to get her to say that name first. She had to. Then man sacrificed enough for her to live and he deserved it. But she wasn't anywhere close to saying anything yet. She had some time at least and Ed was willing to spend that much time trying to get her to learn it. She would get to know the man that gave his life for her, he told himself.
After they were fed and dressed, he picked her up and headed out the door. He noticed that it was sprinkling and grabbed an umbrella. Haydyn leant forward and put her little arms around his neck . Ed smiled and continued to trek through the rain while they were safe under his umbrella. It was just six thirty and he had another fifteen before he had to be at headquarters. He slowed down, musing about how everything seemed dull and grey. It didn't have to be dreary and raining for that to happen however.
Oh Roy, this place lost all color when they took you from me, he thought depressingly. And to think he would've continued to believe it was a hoax until the funeral. Since that day, he tried his best to forget. It only caused more pain for him whenever he woke up and remembered that Roy was gone. He hadn't cried for the man like he promised but sometimes it was getting so hard. Haydyn needed to be cared for and when Kilburn wasn't complaining about the unfairness of his own baby, there was always some other problem going on. Something that needed handling as well.
"Baba ga."
Ed nodded.
His daughter was an early riser. He thought it was because she loved spending as much time as she could with her daddy, the others believed it was so she could start her mischief making early. Ed didn't think it was fair to judge that from the bouts of mischief she had been prone to doing in the past. He honestly believed that she was afraid. She lost her papa without even knowing it and she may have only been a newborn then, Haydyn had to have picked up on everybody else's emotions. She felt it as well. Hell, the whole time in the belly she had heard his voice and it was forever absent now. Not in my dreams, Ed thought.
He knocked on Knox's door and waited before Mrs. Knox answered with a small smile. Knox was off from work so Haydyn was going to be spending quality time with her grandpa. The little girl's eyes lit up when the man came over and Ed let himself inside. Marcus scowled however and Knox just chuckled.
"Haydyn cries whenever he gets close. She'll get used to him though, that's no problem-"
"Marcus sounds somewhat like Roy. She misses him and that is probably why she cries when he comes close." Ed interrupted thoughtfully.
Knox nodded solemnly.
"Of course."
It was an understatement but Ed decided nobody was truly coping anyways. He wished that it wasn't this way. He handed over the diaper bag that he almost forgot. Knox had a car seat of his own in case he had to go anywhere and some bottles were in the fridge.
Ed waved before making his way out but just before he made it all the way down the steps, Marcus stopped him.
"Let me give you a ride. You'll get wet."
Ed stared in surprise but didn't object. It was an awkward silence for the first five minutes after starting up the car. Ed observed the young man who was only around twenty four months younger than the man he had come to love more than life. Whereas Roy had dark raven hair, Marcus's was a dark brown. It wasn't as straight either and was messy all over the place. Roy didn't even need hair gel to keep his hair flat, he only had to wet it a little in the morning although he took showers in the morning so that wasn't often necessary. Marcus had dark eyes like Knox whereas Roy must've gotten his mother's eyes.
Throughout the observation, Ed noticed that there were a lot of habits that he came to know about the man he loved. He knew that Roy hated getting wet as well as everybody else. But hardly anyone knew that Roy drooled at night. They didn't know that Roy often lay on his side and held onto anyone he could for warmth. Often Ed ended up trapped in his embrace for the better part of the night even more so after he got pregnant with Haydyn. He hated that but seeing as how he could never feel the man's warmth ever again, he missed it. He missed it badly now that he didn't have the man's warmth.
Feeling the tears at the corner of his eyes, he quickly wiped them away. He couldn't cry damn it! How often did he want to break down and just scream. He wanted to physically punch something. He didn't want to feel the need to do these things, he just wanted the man to come back. He noticed Marcus raising an eyebrow and quickly erased his previous thoughts, pretending that nothing was out of the ordinary.
"You miss him." It wasn't a question.
Ed sighed.
"Of course I do. I loved that man and I don't think I even know how to stop. He's been gone for eight months already and it seems like forever that I last saw him."
"Doesn't help that Mr. Kilburn won't keep his mouth shut huh?"
Ed could only shake his head and turn to stare out of the window. Kilburn was annoying and a pest but he didn't think that was the main issue. He could ignore him on the good days but he couldn't ignore some of what he said. He did miss Roy he really did but the man stated that he hadn't missed him. Said that he hadn't even gone to his grave which was true but not for the reasons he had stated.
"He just needs to learn to keep his fat mouth shut. Just because his child died and Haydyn lived doesn't mean he suffered more."
"I know that. I didn't even get the chance to know my brother and yet I feel I know him a lot better whenever you talk about him. It makes me proud to know that my brother was depended on so much."
Ed raised an eyebrow. He knew that the man never got to see his brother, never actually met him face to face but from what he was seeing, it seemed that the man looked up to the man even then. It made Ed feel terrible. He should have gotten to know his brother. Ed had in a way taken the chance from him. Although Roy did choose to save his baby over his own life, Ed was the one who wanted a kid in the beginning making truth to the saying, 'be careful what you wish for.'
He was about to reply to that but noticed that the car had stopped. He turned his curious eyes to Marcus who just smiled and put a reassuring hand on his shoulder.
"Don't be too sad. Haydyn isn't coming out any worse for wear. You're doing the best you could and I know it, my dad knows it, hell even my mom notices and it takes a lot for her. We all love Haydyn and forgive dad for his past relationship. Let's face it, you're going to be prying that girl from mom in the future because she already loves her so much."
Ed smiled albeit a sad one.
"But she will never know the love her papa had for her."
It was a statement but not any less true.
"Havoc, knock it off."
Havoc glared at the woman but sighed letting her take the lead. They were glad that at least Fuery was back at the office come Elric went in at the usual time. He also knew this scene was not a place for the both of them which made it perfect. Blood splattered the ground although it seemed to have been slowly washing away. He favored his unlit cigarette in his mouth before making his way closer just short of the actual body. It was a tremendous attack and one that Havoc knew would cause discontent along the military. Armstrong was quite a ways back and didn't come closer for the time being but he couldn't blame the man. Anyone that would harshly do this to a child deserved the worse possible death.
"What do we have so far?"
Johnson May was a new MP and even though his work lacked tact, at least he got to the bottom of things. The others took one look at the scene and their faces transformed into disgust slowly moving away from the scene to vomit. Looks like the MPs had new bodies on them, Havoc mused. It was very much a bad thing that they had to come out today and observe this.
The baby looked as though it was beaten to death. Only there were slashes to the torso as though the child were a dummy. The baby had light brown hair and from what he could tell brown eyes. Toe nails were violently removed and there were bruises from head to toe. He hoped that Ed didn't walk onto this scene. This was something he couldn't see especially with the little eight month old of his always being left with either Knox or Madame. They didn't want him to worry more than necessary but they couldn't tell who would do this. They didn't have any identification and it looked like Knox would have to come down to do an autopsy.
"What happened? What do we have so far?"
Havoc favored him with a schooled expression before Hawkeye spoke up. She was recently promoted to Captain and even if she hadn't been, she was still the most senior in the office after Ed when Mustang died. It affected them all in different ways though. Fuery lost the man he looked up to, Breda lost a person that knew how to play chess, Falman lost a comrade, Havoc lost the one that he would follow into death and Hawkeye obviously lost someone she cared about a lot. He shook his head. Out of all of them Ed was still suffering the worse because he never let himself cry. He didn't even see his grave. He turned over and observed the scene again as Hawkeye began talking.
"Lieutenant, we got word that last night there was a desperate cry from Ms. Sullivan that her daughter wasn't in her bed. The child would often sneak out and try to go to the pool but she couldn't find a trace of her in the backyard. Then this morning we got a call. Apparently someone had come into the alley since it was a short cut to her house and screamed when she came upon this body."
"Captain was it the missing child that the MPs were looking for?"
"It was not Lieutenant." At his shocked look, Hawkeye sighed. "There's another seen fifteen minutes from here. I have Officers Falman and Breda over there as we speak. The child that went missing last night was found in a trash can in the back of the housing area. They concealed the body in a plastic bag after wrapping it in a blanket. It's hard to tell though when the duct tape was applied to the mouth. The mother is still beside herself with worry but we wanted to wait to give her the news that her daughter was found dead."
Johnson turned with a scared expression on his face. It looked as though someone was kidnapping these kids and beating them before disposing of their bodies. So far there were two small female children and no leads as to who were doing these awful things. They didn't have all the information down since the first reported incident was last night and it was only now that they realized it was a serial case.
"How old was the child?" He gulped thinking about what this would mean.
"She was four going to turn five in two days."
Havoc interrupted the chat after getting off the phone with Fuery. He got word that Fullmetal walked into the office and had no idea what was going on. They hadn't told him anything as of yet but it was only a matter of time before he found out. In the meantime, he made some more calls and learned that there was a child missing right next door from Gracia's house.
"We'll have to look into the other missing child report that just happened forty minutes ago."
Johnson swore and it was all Hawkeye could do to not curse herself. This was getting bad and the weather was getting worse. Johnson turned towards them and whilst moving out the way to let the investigations get their pictures he continued his thought.
"Anyone we know in the last month or so that had a grudge on children? Female children should I say?"
"Not that I know of," Hawkeye answered although her eyes never left the small body. It was horribly wrong to see such a youngster die in a horrible way. Havoc seemed to agree.
"It's not only females though. The report forty minutes ago was a woman's two month old son."
Johnson gasped before cursing the 'sick mother fucker that would do something like that' and then he turned away from the scene. Havoc couldn't very much blame him though and continued to wonder when things went so much out of control. Armstrong caught up with them when the body had been removed and placed into the vehicle to transport it to the morgue.
"We need to call Knox. He may not be the only one that could perform autopsies but he is the only one that wouldn't vomit at the first look."
"I don't know about that last one." Havoc chewed on the end of cigarette thinking this was all ironic. "He is spending time with his eight month old granddaughter. I think in the past he wouldn't have felt so nauseated but looking at those kids makes you think about what would happen if it were Haydyn, don't you?"
Armstrong let out a sound between a moan and a cry before quickly nodding.
Was it only eight months since their commander died? They wondered how he would have handled this if he were still here? He definitely would be the one taking charge and telling everybody to get a grip. He knew he would and that was what he liked so much about the chief. He even got the junior enlisted to bend to his will without so much as a look. He wasn't here anymore. Havoc had to get used to that because he couldn't count on the dead man to bail him out of situations anymore. He had to get over himself and take charge like the man had taught them after all these years of working under him.
"Hey Mathews, get information on who saw these kids, who babysat them, who reported them, and when exactly they likely went missing. Sumners, go down and get a list of any and all people that have had a record against children or were put in jail within the last twelve months for child abuse. Rogers, put up a list of the children and compare their cases. What is the same and what is different. We need to alert everyone who has children a.s.a.p. as well."
He waited while they just stared back awkwardly. Things weren't going well and nobody had been able to take charge since they arrived here at 0625. It was horrible that somebody would want to kill children, and Havoc knew that but they had to get their asses in gear before the person struck again.
"Do as the lieutenant says!" Hawkeye ordered and then they went to get about doing their tasks.
It was amazing what one person being in charge could do. People lost all aspects of control whenever tragedy happened that Hawkeye had been grossly surprised when Havoc had taken charge. That's what they needed. When they lost all thought and organization they needed someone to take charge and order them just to have distraction. It was the best idea that Havoc had had all morning but at the same time she realized there were things that would forever be missing as well.
"We need to tell Edward that means and to alert Gracia. A two month old going missing is just odd. Who would snatch a two month old and how did they do it when their parents had been in the house. I could see a two year old because they sleep in different rooms half the time but a two month old cries at night Havoc. Remember Haydyn? When she was two months nobody in the building got sleep."
Havoc grinned wryly.
"Of course but it was only because he had an apartment at the time and the walls were paper thin. Haydyn also sleeps in his bed. There's got to be something similar about each child and we'll find out don't you worry."
Hawkeye couldn't help but think that maybe Havoc was right. Of course he was, what was she thinking. The only thing that left Hawkeye wondering about this in the end was the fact that Havoc stated that they would find the person who did it with a multitude of confidence in his voice.
I only wish I could believe you Havoc, she thought grimly. Half of us lost faith though and even eight months later, we don't know what we're gonna do.