So….basically, I needed to write a really stupid comedy about the only vampire I thought would be terrified of snakes. :P Hobey-ho, let's go!

Nicolas de Lenfent had been kidnapped, tortured, turned into a vampire, abandoned by his best friend, tortured again, and burned alive…and he survived all of it. He was stronger than he had ever thought. He persevered through the absolute WORST of situations, even if it did mean he went a little mad in some of them. He was immortal, an invincible Creature of the Night! He had lived for at least a couple of centuries, traveling the world and impressing women (and a few men…but he would never speak of THAT again!) with his skills on the violin and the stage. He had fought in too many wars to count, watching far too many mortal men die in the prime of their youth while he was forced to live on.

If he had lived through all of that horror, why, then, should he be so afraid of such a small creature? Sure, it had long, razor-sharp fangs, but so did he! Perhaps it was the fact that the reptile employed a deadly poison…no, he would not fall to that particular brand of death. The only thing that could effectively poison a vampire was the blood of the dead, but even that would only weaken him temporarily. Was it the way that it moved, slithering its way through the blades of grass at his currently paralyzed feet? Or was it just the realization that the foul little thing was coming straight toward him?!

Finally, Nicki felt like he could move his legs again, and he took off like a shot! His feet moved faster than lightning in a quite comical manner, propelling him away from the snake…and straight into Louis de Point Dulac. The impact caused him to fall backward onto his rear, and he looked up at the Creole vampire in embarrassment.

Louis just gave an amused half-smile. "You okay, Nicki?" he asked, helping the slightly younger-looking vampire to his feet.

"Yes," Nicolas replied bashfully. "Sorry for plowing into you like that…"

"That's alright. Just be more careful, next time. Why were you in such a hurry, anyway? Is Lestat trying to get you high again?" Louis's tone was joking, and he was smiling, but the look in his eyes told Nicki that he would most likely rip Lestat limb from limb if the answer was yes. As much as the so-called "Brat Prince" deserved it, Nicki told the truth.

"No, he's off at one of his ridiculous rock concerts, thank God…"

"Don't let him hear you say that."

"I couldn't care less what he hears me say! That idiot has no say in my— OHMYGOD IT'SBACK!" Nicolas yelped in fear and hid behind Louis as his newfound nemesis slithered over to them. The scaly creature lifted its tiny, round head and looked up at them with confused reptilian eyes. There was a long moment of silence that seemed to stretch on for eons before it was finally interrupted by the strangest sound.

It started out as a low rumble, but soon grew into a roaring laughter. Then, Nicki realized where it was coming from: directly in front of him. Louis was laughing! Long and loud! It took him a few minutes before he could breathe well enough to form a coherent sentence. "Is this what you were running from, Nicolas?!" he asked, still chuckling a bit.

Nicki, on the other hand was clearly not amused. "Yes! What are you waiting for?! Kill the damn thing already!"

"It's just a harmless garden snake, Nicki. It's not like it can kill you! Honestly!"

Nicolas pouted, still hiding behind his more composed friend. "But…but it's creepy and crawly and slithery, and I don't like it…!" he whined, eliciting another laugh from Louis.

"Oh, come on. You can't live in New Orleans and be scared of snakes! If it makes you feel any better, Lestat had to survive on these things after Claudia killed him…the first time."

"No, it does NOT make me feel better. It only makes Lestat a cannibal, for he himself is a snake in the guise of a man!"

"Okay, I can't deny that, but you still need to calm down, my friend. This little guy won't hurt you, I promise. Now will you please quit clinging to me? You're acting like a child!"

"Fine," Nicolas mumbled, letting go of Louis, "but you owe me."

"What, dare I ask, do I owe you…?"

"Next time Lestat begs one of us to help him with one of his harebrained schemes to get revenge on Armand in their endless prank war, YOU'RE helping him instead of me!"