Disclaimer: Deep in the jungle, there is a magical monkey that farts every time someone is born, by the time that monkey stops farting, I will still not own Harry Potter.
Warnings: Slash, sex, the usual, blah fuckity blah.
Okay, so recently, one of my readers messaged me and TOTALLY inspired me to reread A Cycle, and I fell in love with the plot all over again...so I also read the reviews my lovely readers sent me and I thought..."Damn! These people have flipping AWESOME ideas!" So I've decided to write a series of oneshots in the Cycle universe!
This one is dedicated to Laurenmk18 for giving me the idea to write James' reaction to Albus Severus' name!
Note: This chapter would be roughly around chapters Discovering Carpe Diem and The Carpe Diem Curse.
Summary: In which Al and Scorpius find out that James is alive and shagging Lucius Malfoy, suck face and realize that Harry and Draco are shagging as well...Also James Potter finds out Albus' middle name and goes apeshit. A Cycle of Heartbreak: Fire and Ice companion.
Chapter One: You're Named After WHO?
"So I have grandchildren?" said James excitedly, nearly bouncing out of his seat in his enthusiasm.
Harry grinned.
"Yep!" chirped Harry.
"Well! What are you waiting for! Tell me about them! What are their names? Their ages? Which one looks the most like me!"
Harry chuckled.
"Well...I named James Sirius after you and Sirius, obviously...he's a sixth year now and he's very much like you in personality according to what people have said about you...Lily Luna is named after mum and a friend of mine, she's in third year, and my middle child, who's in fifth year and is the spitting image of me, and you somewhat (his eyes are green and not hazel). His name is Albus Sev-"
"Hi dad! What was so important you had to pull us out of school and bring us to Malfoy mano-WHOA! Since when have you had a twin?" came James Sirius' astonished voice, brown eyes goggling at James as he gazed at him in disbelief.
"Hey Jimmy, where's Lils and Al?" said Harry, sidestepping the question.
"Uh, they're coming up the hall right now...And you didn't answer my question, who's the-"
"OH MY GOD! IT'S A CLONE!" cried Lily, stopping short behind James Sirius, "Who is this?"
"That's what I wanna know!" snapped James Sirius.
Lily turned around, scanning the hall for Albus, when she gave an ear piercing shriek.
"ALBUS SEVERUS POTTER! WILL YOU STOP TRYING TO CHOKE MALFOY WITH YOUR TONGUE! IT'S DISGUSTING!" she screeched.
The room went silent.
James blinked.
"Albus...Severus?" he said quietly.
"Uh..." was Harry's not so intelligent response.
"Albus Severus? Albus SEVERUS? ALBUS BLEEDIN' SEVERUS! WHAT THE FUCK?" was James now not quite quiet statement.
Albus then chose that time to walk into the room. He stopped short.
"Uh, Dad? Why do you have a doppelganger?" he asked.
"Uhm, now's really not a good ti-" began Harry but James cut him off.
"You named my grandchild, the spitting image of both of us, after Severus FUCKING Snape?" said James dangerously.
"No! Just his middle name!" protested Harry, "I actually named him after Dumbledore, ahah."
"Grandchild?"
"Grandchild?"
"GRANDCHILD?"
"Oh my God...it can't be...James Potter?" squeaked Lily.
James Sirius looked at her.
"What? What did I do?" he asked, confused.
"Not you!" snapped Lily.
"But MY name IS James Potter, you dolt!" said James Sirius irritably.
"Yeah, and who else is named James Potter that you know of?" retorted Lily through clenched teeth, her blue-green eyes flashing dangerously.
"Pfft, no one except our dead grandpa, James Po-WAIT! NO WAY! IT CAN'T BE! GRANDPA?" he said, his voice going a few octaves higher than a sixteen year old boy should be able to manage.
"Took you long enough, dipshit!" smirked Lily.
"Why you little-" began James Sirius in a growl, drawing his wand, only to be cut off my Harry.
"JAMES SIRIUS POTTER! DON'T YOU DARE HEX LILY AND LILY LUNA POTTER, WATCH YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!" snarled Harry, having lost his patience.
James sniggered at the gobsmacked looks on his grandkids' faces.
Harry whirled around and James stopped laughing immediately, for Harry looked so much like a hugely pissed off, hormonal Lily Evans Potter that James was instantly paralyzed with terror.
"And you..." seethed Harry, "I named Al after two of the most heroic people I have ever and will ever know! Severus Snape died a war hero for the Light side and if not for him, Voldemort wouldn't be dead! So if you think you have the right to get angry about what I named my son, then think again! Because despite the fact that you are my father, I am an adult and have been an adult for about TWENTY bleedin' years! So all of you, just SHUT UP! And before you ask, yes, this is your grandfather, James Potter, James Potter, meet your worst nightmare! Now leave me alone, I'm gonna go work off this frustration with Draco...so DON'T come looking for me! And before you give me that horrified look, Lily, yes I am with Draco of my own free will, so snap your mouth closed and deal with it, cause Grandpa is with Lucy Malfoy as well!"
"Potter," came Lucius Malfoy's drawling voice, "Desist this uncouth behavior immediately, you're scaring the children...and Lucy, really? I thought you had more taste and decorum than that, but I should have known better...after all, you ARE James' son! I apologize for overestimating you."
Both adult Potter men snarled. But James, instead of stomping off in search of Draco, like Harry did, stalked over to Lucius and pulled him into a rough kiss.
Lily squeaked and ran out of the room, Albus snickered and went off in search of Scorpius while James slowly backed out of the room.
Well fuck, who knew?
-Trololol-
AN: bahahahaha! That was great, if I do say so myself! Again, thanks to Laurenmk18 and my other reviewers for your lovely ideas! REVIEW!
-Regina Artemis DeLuna