Barney is innocent. Barney travels and makes new friends. Barney loves everyone. But nobody ever said Barney was good, now did they?
This is a Barney And Friends / Jurassic Park crossover. It takes place sometime after the end of the first Jurassic Park movie.
It's a horror story, so if you're expecting warm and fuzzy stop reading right now.
Disclaimer: I do not own and did not create Barney And Friends or Jurassic Park. My apologies to Sheryl Leach who may find my treatment of her creation unsympathetic. But what can she expect for creating the most hated character on the face of the Earth?
I didn't write this story for profit, it is merely meant to entertain any reader who stumbles upon it. I hope my poor attempt has some merit in the eyes of those who read it, and may you forgive me for the nightmares I am about to inflict on you.
You have been warned.
Chapter 1 – I Love You, You Love Me
Barney finished singing his song, and faded back into the plush dinosaur he'd used as a gateway to the human world. He could feel his friends join him in the mindscape, humming with contentment and stuffed from the love they had absorbed from the children.
"That was tee-riffic!" Barney enthused. "Now we have enough love and huggles to make our Dream come true!"
"Do you see the Dream clearly, Barney?" Baby Bop asked eagerly.
"Oh yes, just as clearly as clearly can be!" Barney exclaimed. "Every time our friends called us and shared their delicious love with us, the Dream got clearer. And now with this final gift of their yummy hugs and kisses our friends have opened the way! There's the island, do you see it?"
"I see it!" Riff cried out, his crest lighting up and blinking rapidly. "Is that it, Barney? Is that where we make the Dream come true?"
"Yes, Riff, that's where our Super Dee Dooper Dream is! After that, we won't ever have to come back here again. We can stay on Earth and keep all our friends with us forever!" Barney said in deep satisfaction.
"Oh goody goddy!" Baby Bop laughed. "Maybe then I won't keep losing my blanky so much! Has anybody seen it, by the way?"
"Here it is, Sissy." BJ said, draping over his sister's broad shoulders. "Barney, will I get to be Captain Pickles all the time?"
"Why sure, BJ! But we're all going to be so much bigger and stronger and faster, you won't need to be Captain Pickles at all! You'll be faster than fast!"
"I sure like that!" BJ said, beaming.
"Is everybody ready?" Barney said, tail waving eagerly.
"Yeah!" Riff said. "Let's go already!"
"Why, that's a stuuuuuuuu-pendous idea!" Barney said, mouth curving in a huge grin. "Shimboree shimborah! Isla Nublar far star call! Open to us let us come, by the Dream, by the dumb!"
They felt the familiar rushing pull as they faded from the mindscape and formed on a tropical beach, warm sunlight lifting their spirits, the sound of bright blue water rushing onto the beach behind them making each dinosaur laugh.
"Now off you go!" Barney said merrily. "Remember, don't be afraid! The children's adoration is our magic bus into the Dream!"
He watched the other disappear into the thick green jungle and turned to where his special friend waited for him. As he traveled he sang his favorite song.
So happy was he the miles just disappeared under his waddling feet.
"Barney is a dinosaur from our imagination,
And when he's tall,
He's what we call a dinosaur sensation..."
Barney paused as he felt the thudding of the ground beneath his feet.
"My friend is here!" He exclaimed happily.
The gigantic green-gray dinosaur came stalking out of the trees. It caught sight of the chubby purple and green midget instantly. The smaller dinosaur was waving both stubby arms overhead and jumping up and down. Curious at this suicidal behavior the T-Rex bent down and sniffed the morsel in front of it.
"Hello, my huge friend! Won't you give me a kiss?" Barney asked brightly.
The T-Rex sneezed as the unfamiliar odor tickled its nose. But this tiny creature smelled like meat, and the T-Rex was hungry…
"I love you, you love me. We're best friends as friends should—"
The T-Rex, irritated by the screeching, snapped up the morsel, cutting it in half mid-screech. Standing it throw its head back and swallowed the snack in one gulp. Liking the taste the predator bent down and grabbed the back half of its meal, which soon followed the front.
The predator ran a tongue around its lips to get the last of the blood. Feeling only slightly less hungry the tyrannosaur went in search of a more substantial meal.
Meanwhile, a few miles away, three man-sized predators dragged their prey deeper into the jungle so they could feast undisturbed.
When they had gone the only movement in the clearing was a bright yellow blanket caught on the branches of a tall bush. It flapped cheerfully in the wind, marred only by a large wet patch on the corner, which slowly dripped bright ruby drops onto the ground below.