Hi Peeps!
So I have just recently discovered this AMAZING show called South of Nowhere, and maybe I'm the last one on the planet who didn't know about it, but if you're ANY kind of queer girl, you need to be watching it. I don't have TV at home, so I tend to be behind the times on these sorts of things, but this show is totally groundbreaking in that it's just a regular teen drama, ala dawson's creek, only it stars two girls as the primary relationship around which the entire show revolves. but it's not a "gay show," either, because most of the characters are straight; it's just a mixed bag, with the message that LGBT relationships are now being incorperated into the mainstream of teenage drama. and with rose troche (of the l-word and go fish, among other things) as consulting producer, no worries about authenticity or selling out to horny guys who just want to see two girls get it on. and on top of ALL that, the actresses in question are both inSANEly hot, and have major on-screen chemistry...in short, everyone needs to watch this show. fortunately for impoverished students like me, most of the episodes are online at the-n (dot) com, and the season 3 premiere is TOMORROW NIGHT, kids! 8pm on the N. Go watch it. And then read my story :)
Really
A South of Nowhere story
By JewWitch
Summary: After the events of "How the World Crumbles," how will Paula come around to trusting Ashley with her daughter? Will Ashley ever be able to trust Spencer's family? Is all this too much pressure for two teenage girls with a mountain of emotional baggage already on their shoulders? This might just be a one-shot, or it might go on, depending on how the first part goes...and feedback of course!
Rating: R
Slash Warning: If somehow you have managed to stumble onto this page without realizing it, this is a SUPER-GAY show starring two SUPER-HOT girls who are in love with each other. If that's not your cup of tea, move along, cause nobody's holding a gun to your head saying, "read some girl-on-girl fanfic, or I'll blow ya to kingdom come!" :)
Beep. Beep. Beep.
Ashley's almost-asleep daze was broken by the incessant trilling coming from her girlfriend's backpack. Spencer made no move to remedy the situation; she was sprawled out flat across Ashley's stomach, breathing deeply and evenly without so much as a twitch.
"Spence," Ashley mumbled, lightly shaking her girlfriend's bare shoulder.
"Mmm," Spencer mumbled back.
"Your phone. Make it stop." Spencer gave a low, pathetic groan, pulling herself out of Ashley's arms and leaning across to reach her backpack. Ashley blinked her eyes open, appreciating the view of her girlfriend's smooth, naked skin at close range. Finally the grating sound stopped, and Spencer threw her phone down on the floor in disgust.
"What was that, are you timing how long we can go now?" Ashley asked with a sardonic grin. Spencer grinned back sleepily, flopping down on top of her and kissing her until they both felt completely awake, and more than a little worked up.
"Nope. A reminder that it's time to go home."
"Home?" Ashley repeated bleakly, her expression crestfallen. "But you just got here."
"If by just, you mean three hours ago when school let out, then yeah," Spencer agreed, grinning indulgently as she reached for her bra, which was dangling from the bedside lamp. "I'm sorry baby, you know I'd rather stay, but I promised Mom I'd be home for dinner...you know how crazy she's been about family dinner lately." Ashley pouted.
"I can't believe she's got you trained to jump up at the ring of a bell. She's turning you into Pavlov's dogs!"
"No she isn't," Spencer said patiently, pulling on her t-shirt and tugging out her long blond hair from under the collar. "I'm the one who set the alarm, Ash...cause I knew we'd be so busy doing it all afternoon, I'd lose track of time." She smirked, sunlight streaking through her tousled hair. Her blue eyes were fixed on Ashley with an open expression of adoration. Ashley reached out and traced her fingers across Spencer's lips, and Spencer kissed them one at a time.
"Don't go yet," Ashley murmured, grazing her fingers over Spencer's cheek and through her hair. "Ever since you came out to your parents, we barely see each other..."
"Ashley, we were together all day," Spencer said patiently, with a smirk that said in no uncertain terms that she was enjoying the attention from her girlfriend.
"That's at school," Ashley whined. "That doesn't count!"
"Why not?" Spencer raised an eyebrow.
"Because at school," Ashley whispered, leaning in so her lips brushed Spencer's ear, "I can't do this..." Her hand slipped up under Spencer's shirt, as she trailed her nails over the sheer, silky material of her girlfriend's bra. She could feel the sharp intake of breath; the soft ohhhh that went along with it left her own body thrumming, aching with need. She lowered her head slightly and began kissing Spencer's throat, tasting the sweet tang of dried sweat left over from several hours of energetic lovemaking, while her hands met under Spencer's shirt to undo the front clasp of her bra. Another breathy moan of approval, and she held the warm weight of her girlfriend's perfect breasts in her hands, teasing them with light touches as she felt the nipples tighten under her palms.
"Ashley," Spencer whimpered, both hands gripping her girlfriend's hair as a shudder passed through her body.
"Want me to stop?" Ashley grinned coyly, pulling back to look in Spencer's stormy blue eyes, glazed with desire. In answer, Spencer grabbed her face with both hands and kissed her hard. Ashley returned the kiss enthusiastically, rolling her onto her back and letting their arms and legs tangle together, rocking against each other. Crawling down her girlfriend's sweat-slicked body, Ashley began kissing and nipping those sensitive breasts, nuzzling the soft flesh with lips, tongue and teeth.
"Ohhhh, fuck," Spencer gasped, her hands tightening in Ashley's hair as her back arched up, presenting her tantalizing flesh to her girlfriend with even more enthusiasm. "Oh god Ash, that feels so good," she groaned.
"Are you wet for me, beautiful Spencer?" Ashley purred, trailing her nails down the flat stomach that lay trembling beneath her.
"I'm drowning," Spencer groaned rakishly, taking one of Ashley's hands and pressing it between her legs. Ashley gasped, feeling her own cheeks begin to burn. Though they'd been together for months, every time she touched this beautiful, miraculous girl, every time they looked at each other, it felt like the first time...the first time sex had ever been something more than just fun.
"I love you, Spencer," Ashley whispered, as she felt her girlfriend's body clutch her fingers, then release them with a sob of ecstasy. They collapsed back onto the mattress together, panting and sweaty, laying limply in each other's arms for several long moments without speaking.
"Now I'm really gonna be late," Spencer grinned dopily. "Bummer." Ashley smiled back, taking Spencer's hand and playing with her fingers.
"I really wish you didn't have to leave...ever."
"Aw, Ash...does anyone but me know how sweet you really are?"
"Um, nope. You're the first and only one to know my deep, dark secret."
"Why don't you come home with me, and have dinner with us tonight?" Spencer smiled, nuzzling the hand she held in her own.
"Yeah right. 'Los Angeles mother of three jailed for the murder of slutty teen lesbo, news at eleven.' I don't think so!"
"C'mon baby, she's gonna get used to it...I know she is. We just have to help her along...show her how normal we really are, by just doing what we always do...and not hiding it."
"I don't think so, Spence," Ashley shook her head. "Maybe some other time, okay?"
"Okay," Spencer nodded dejectedly, gathering her clothes for the second time in sedate silence. "Bye," she smiled mechanically, giving Ashley a quick, perfunctory kiss. Ashley watched her go, her stomach twisting with a combination of guilt at refusing the offer of family dinner with the Carlins, and nervous tension at the memory of being hauled down the stairs by her hair, and thrown out into the night in her underwear. How could she ever go back inside that house?
"I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" Spencer looked back as Ashley called after her, a small, but genuine smile emerging on her kiss-swollen lips.
"Okay," she nodded. "I really love you, you know."
"I know...I love you too." Ashley watched her go, grinning and lovesick. How could she not go back into that house, as long as Spencer was there?
Spencer found Ashley waiting by her locker the next morning, holding two cups of coffee and looking anxious. "Was she pissed?" Ashley handed over one of the cups, biting her lip. "Are you grounded? Can you still come out tonight?"
"Yes, she was a little pissed; and no, I'm not grounded."
"No?" Ashley perked up, blinking incredulously. "What did you tell her?"
"The truth," Spencer shrugged. Ashley stared at her girlfriend, raising an eyebrow disbelievingly.
"You told her you were too busy having sex with me to be home on time?"
"No, doofus, I told her truthfully that I was at your house and that we lost track of time."
"And Paula was okay with that?"
"I told you, she's trying," Spencer said as she opened her locker and began pulling out books.
"Wow," Ashley murmured incredulously. "So we're still going to the beach party tonight?"
"Looks like it," Spencer agreed with a yawn.
"Sweet! You're gonna love it Spence, first beach bonfire of summer! I can't wait to tell Kyla."
"You're really getting into this whole sister thing, I see," Spencer observed with a small smile.
"Yeah, well, she has a way of growing on you...kind of like a fungus."
"Nice."
The day passed agonizingly slowly for Ashley, but the thought of another suspension kept her from cutting any more classes. Instead, she concentrated on giving orders via cell phone concerning the coming bonfire, making sure that Aiden knew to bring the wood, Kyla the beach chairs and blankets, and Chelsea and Clay the marshmallows. Even Shaun had agreed to come, promising a portable sound system that would elevate the entire experience to another level.
"What do I bring?" Spencer pouted, looking up sullenly from her homework in sixth period study hall.
"You bring the most important thing of all," Ashley purred, reaching out to tuck a lock of hair behind her girlfriend's ear. Spencer raised an eyebrow, as if to ask, and that would be...?
"Me!" Ashley chirped, grinning. Spencer snorted.
"You're lucky I think you're cute and funny...otherwise you'd be a total egomaniac!"
"Yes, but I'm your egomaniac."
"Lucky me," Spencer rolled her eyes. Something in her voice made Ashley's stomach twist unpleasantly; but before she could ask her girlfriend if anything was bothering her, the bell rang, resulting in a tumult of noise and movement as the entire student body of King High sprang to its feet as one, ready for the weekend.
"Spencer...?"
"Ladies!" Aiden bounced into the classroom just as everyone else was filing out, bowing formally in front of them and rising with his usual shit-eating grin firmly in place. "Are we ready to rock n' roll?"
"Sure, let's do it." Spencer hopped down from her seat on the desk, smiling, and for once Ashley followed her quietly.
The moon was high in the sky before the bonfire was built to blazing. Glen, Aiden and Clay had spent more time bickering over whose fire-building strategy was best than they had actually building the fire, but with Shaun's spinning, plenty of cold beers and a few frisbees, the rest of them hadn't minded much. Still, it was barely ten o'clock when Ashley looked over and saw her girlfriend fast asleep in a beach chair, head drooping onto her shoulder. She left her sister talking to Aiden, and knelt in the sand in front of Spencer's chair.
"Hey sleepyhead," she murmured, nudging her gently. "Are you sauced or what? You want some water?"
"Uhh, no," Spencer mumbled groggily, rubbing her eyes. "I only had one beer..." She yawned, blinking slowly.
"You okay?" Ashley cocked her head.
"Actually..." Spencer looked up miserably, and Ashley felt a cold flash of nervous worry rush through her. "I don't feel so hot."
"Aw, baby," Ashley crooned, the cold knot of worry melting away into a flood of tenderness, and relief that something more serious wasn't wrong. "What hurts?" She reached out and cupped Spencer's cheek, leaning in to kiss her forehead.
"My throat," Spencer winced. "It's been kind of scratchy all day, but I just ignored it...now it's killing me."
"You feel hot, too," Ashley frowned, stroking her cheek lightly. "C'mon, I'll take you home."
"But you've been looking forward to this party for..."
"Hey." Ashley took both of Spencer's hands in hers, gently running her thumbs over her girlfriend's knuckles. "I'm not going to sit here and have fun while you're miserable, so don't ask me to. Okay?"
"Okay," Spencer nodded, a reluctant smile creeping onto her face. Ashley stood up, pulling Spencer to her feet and wrapping one arm firmly around her waist. Spencer leaned on her with a small sigh, closing her eyes briefly.
"Hey guys, we're gonna jam, Spencer doesn't feel good," Ashley said apologetically, picking up both of their purses and jackets.
"You okay Spencer?" Glen immediately flared up into protective-big-brother mode. "Ashley didn't get you all boozed up again, did she?"
"No, Glen, I'm not drunk," Spencer assured him with a trace of annoyance. "I think I'm just coming down with something, okay?"
"Do you want us to take you home?" He asked gallantly, indicating himself and Clay.
"I'm taking her home, jockstrap," Ashley replied acidly.
"I wasn't asking you, I was asking my sister," Glen snarled, glaring.
"Guys!" Spencer shouted, immediately wincing. "Ow. Ashley is taking me home, Glen...but thanks for offering. You should stay and have fun for us, okay?"
"Okay," Glen shrugged sullenly. Then, to Ashley, "You okay to drive?"
"Of course I am," Ashley replied, stung. "I may be a little wild sometimes, but I'm not stupid...and especially not with Spencer in the car." Glen stared back at her for a moment, and then nodded.
"Good."
They left hand in hand, and inside the car Spencer leaned her head against Ashley's shoulder. Ashley reached over and laid her hand on Spencer's thigh, tracing light patterns on her skin as they drove in comfortable silence. Pulling up to the Carlin house, Ashley couldn't help but notice it was completely dark.
"Are your parents out on a date or something?" She frowned.
"Dunno," Spencer shrugged. Ashley looked from the darkened windows, to her sleepy-eyed girlfriend, and knew she was going back inside Spencer's house for the first time since Paula had dragged her out by her hair. It's okay, she told herself firmly. She's not even home. You'll be fine. They trailed into the house, and Spencer flopped straight down onto the couch while Ashley headed for the kitchen, looking for a soda. She heard Spencer coughing when her eyes fell on a note on the fridge: Kids-- explosion in the warehouse district, Mom's working an overnight at the hospital and I'm finding emergency foster care for the kids of the workers who were injured. Send them all your prayers. Your curfews are still in effect. Love, Dad.
Ashley read the note through quickly, then again more slowly. Her eyes lingered over the words Love, Dad. She remembered Spencer's father promising them both that he would do everything he could to protect them; and the anxiety she'd felt since crossing the threshold into the Carlins' house abated. "Spence, I'm making you some tea!" She called over her shoulder. A few minutes later she came back into the living room, carrying the tea and note and handing both to Spencer.
"Wow," Spencer said quietly when she'd read the note. "Those poor kids."
"Yeah," Ashley agreed quietly, warmed as always by her girlfriend's empathy and compassion. "Do you guys really...I mean do you actually...?" Ashley faltered, and Spencer raised an eyebrow. "Pray?" Ashley finished awkwardly. They blinked at each other. Spencer smiled in that way that made Ashley feel like the only person in the whole, wide world.
"Yeah," Spencer nodded.
"What do you pray for?"
"Well...the usual stuff, I guess...peace on earth, good will toward men...and women..." They smirked at each other. "I pray for understanding and clarity, for my family to be healthy, for my mom and dad to have help and guidance when they're doing things like, well, taking care of explosion victims..." Spencer looked up at Ashley and held her gaze without blinking. "And I pray every day for my mom to be able to see how much I love you, and be okay with it." They held each other's gaze; Ashley felt her chest constricting with fierce love for the girl sitting beside her. She leaned in for a kiss, but Spencer pushed her away, turned, and sneezed loudly into her cupped hands.
"Bless you," Ashley giggled, handing her a tissue from the coffee table.
"Thanks," Spencer sniffed sheepishly. "Sorry I ruined the moment."
"You could never ruin anything," Ashley grinned with a shake of her head. Leaning in again, she kissed Spencer's forehead, and stood, gathering her purse.
"So...are you okay here?"
"Huh?" Spencer blinked up at her girlfriend, nonplussed. "You're leaving?"
"Well I just thought..." Ashley's throat went dry with Spencer's despondent gaze upon her. "I mean, after a night sewing explosion victims back together, the last thing Paula's gonna want to see is my face." Spencer blinked, opened her mouth, and closed it again. A tear ran down her cheek.
"Oh, baby, don't," Ashley begged, sitting back down and gathering her quietly crying girlfriend into her arms.
"I just..." Spencer sniffed, and buried her face in Ashley's neck. "I just really don't want you to go, Ash."
"Okay, baby, shhh, I'll stay...I'll stay forever if you want me to," Ashley murmured, stroking her hair and holding her close. Spencer nodded against her neck.
"That sounds good," she mumbled, as her body relaxed, and Ashley began gently stroking her hair. Soon they were both fast asleep.
It was just beginning to get light out when Ashley woke, disoriented and thirsty. Slowly, she disentangled herself from her girlfriend's sleeping body, being careful not to jostle her. Then she stood quietly for a moment, just staring at Spencer in the pale, early morning light, wanting to kiss her awake, but knowing that she needed her rest. Padding silently into the kitchen, she didn't notice the light under the door until it was too late, and suddenly she found herself standing face-to-face with Spencer's mother, holding a cup of coffee with her white doctor's coat hanging over her arm. Immediately her body was flooded with panic, as the sense memory of their last meeting shot through her; she could actually feel her scalp tingling unpleasantly, heart pounding.
"Hello, Ashley," Paula said stiffly. For a moment, Ashley was seized by a mad desire to turn and run from the room.
"I-I'm sorry," She stammered, backing up nervously against the door. "I didn't mean to-- I mean I just fell asleep and--"
"Ashley, it's okay," Paula said with, incredibly, a small smile on her lips. "What I saw when I came in looked pretty innocent." Ashley blinked, unable to think of anything to say at the thought of Paula watching her and Spencer while they slept. "Are you all right?" Paula asked, breaking the awkward silence with a gesture to the tea laying out on the counter next to an open bottle of NyQuil.
"Yeah, I'm fine, but Spencer's a little sick...that's why we came home early and I, um, stayed. She's just got a sore throat and a little fever, but she didn't want me to leave, so..." Ashley trailed off, twisting her thumb ring nervously. "Was it bad tonight...at the hospital?" She looked up, finding Paula's surprised blue eyes, uncannily like Spencer's, upon her.
"Yes," she said finally. "It was a bad night for a lot of people." They looked at each other speculatively.
"I'm sorry that happened," Ashley said quietly. Then she looked down at her feet. "Well, now that you're home, I guess I should go...will you, um, tell Spencer I'll call her later?" Another awkward silence. Yeah, sure you'll tell her, Ashley thought dejectedly.
"You don't have to leave, Ashley."
"I don't?" Ashley blinked, flabbergasted.
"...You really love my daughter, don't you?"
"Yeah," Ashley nodded, without a moment's hesitation. "I really do." Paula crossed the room, and put a hand on her shoulder, giving it a brief squeeze.
"I'm sorry I've made it so hard...for both of you." Speechless, Ashley just nodded. "It's been hard for me, too...but I'm trying to respect Spencer's feelings. I guess that means I have to try to respect yours, too."
"Thank you," Ashley said dumbly. Paula smiled then, a small, but genuine smile.
"Go on back to bed now...and come get me if either of you needs anything, okay?"
"'Kay," Ashley mumbled dumbly, wondering vaguely in the back of her mind if this was really just a dream as she stumbled back into the living room, crawling under the covers beside Spencer on the comfortable old couch. Spencer rolled over and reached her arms out, curling up around Ashley automatically. Ashley thought she was still asleep until her girlfriend's husky voice murmured in her ear, "Everything okay?"
"Yeah," Ashley murmured back, taking the hand wrapped around her stomach and kissing it gently. "Everything's okay, Spence."