You better get here soon; please don't make too much of it [I won't get out alive; take it easy on me]
She doesn't think about Finn or Puck, her baby girl, the way Miss Pillsbury screamed, the way Mr. Schuester looked when Quinn had admitted to babygate, the way no one in Glee had looked surprised, the way Puck's face is going to look tomorrow, or the tears falling down her pale cheeks. She doesn't think about any of that as she sat in a hidden away alcove on a hidden away bench. She thinks about the fact that Rachel Berry had used her. Tricked me, she thinks lividly. She bit her lower lip and let out a biting laugh; yeah Q, it figures that man hands would have the balls that you've never seemed to have. So why can't I be mad at her?
No, Quinn isn't thinking about any of those important thoughts as she sits in her corner, wishing her white cardigan were long sleeved as a rush of cold air passes by her. She licked her lips, tasting salt, as she wrung her hands in her lap. Disgusted with herself, she pondered repeatedly, why am I not mad at her? I hate her; she ruined me. She ruined me. She… saved me. Sighing, she crooked her neck to the left as she smelled vanilla and hairspray. Her focus stayed in space as Rachel Berry made her way, slowly, into Quinn's peripheral.
"I'm so sorry," she breathed, sounding breathless, terrified, horrible and… completely sure of herself, "I fully understand if you want to beat me up. Just avoid my nose."
Quinn isn't sure when she tore her gaze away from nothing and put it on Rachel, but she almost - almost - smiled when she saw Rachel's eyes shut tightly. As if I could make that nose any bigger with a punch. Her humor never reached her eyes though, the only thing in those was Rachel's blurred version, and God if that isn't bad enough on a good day.
"I'm not mad at you." Rachel's eyes opened and she let out a breath that she fully thought Quinn would be knocking out of her. Quinn, in turn, tried to keep the shock of still not being mad at Rachel out of her eyes and tone as she continued, "All you did was something I wasn't brave enough to do - tell the truth." Her voice was quiet and lacking the usual - or any - venom that it has when speaking to Rachel. Maybe Quinn just doesn't have it in her anymore to hate Rachel. Quinn doesn't know why, but Rachel takes that as an invitation to sit down next to her on the small bench.
"I-I was selfish when I told him." All of her attention was on Quinn who, consequently, was back to staring off into space. Rachel's heart was beating far more erratically than it ever had before and her senses were overwhelmed with Quinn's silence and her smell of strawberry lip-gloss. She shook her head, "I wanted to break you two up so he would want to be with me."
This wasn't news to Quinn, but it said something to her that Rachel was outright admitting it. I could use it against her; break her back right now like she broke me. However, the only thing that passed past Quinn's lips was the broken thought that meant nothing to her right then, "And now neither of us have him."
Except maybe it means something because she lost the only damn person that wasn't completely worthless in her life, Finn. And fuck it hurts so bad to do this alone, but I've hurt so many people… maybe I just need to be alone. Maybe the hurting just needs to… stop. She voiced her thoughts. "I have hurt so many people."
She didn't even pause to wonder why she's talking to Rachel, or why it's so easy. But she has someone, she thought, she had Rachel. I could talk to Rachel… I could explain why I did this… no. I may hate her, but I owe her, I think. And if I make her leave now I won't end up hurting her, and then we'll be even. I don't want to be in debt, and I don't want to hurt her… win-win, right?
So Quinn closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and got rid of the last person that could have actually saved her life. "Can you go now? I just really wanna be alone."
Rachel looked away at the word "go" because it's really just another slash into her heart. She didn't note how Quinn's eyes were full of tears, she could hear it in her voice. Who was I kidding? I paid my dues, I apologized. I don't owe her any more, and she doesn't want any more from me. Rachel chanced one more look Quinn's way before she stood up and wondered, so why do I want to save her? Why is this killing me? She smoothed her skirt and walked away; with every step trying to ignore the burning on her back or the searing throbs coming from her chest.
Quinn watched her for a half a second before closing her eyes and cocking her head even further to the left. Don't you call out to her. Don't you say a damn word. She did open her eyes however when she hears a gruffer set of footsteps over Rachel's soft ones. As Rachel left, Puck walked past her, and they both stopped to look at each other. Puck could barely meet her eyes, and Quinn groaned inwardly as Rachel gave him a look fit for a pile of dog crap on the bottom of her favorite ballerina shoes. Quinn's heart beat faster as she felt a sense of déjà vu, which she blamed on the hormones. Her heart dropped when Rachel continued on though, why would she have come back? Why would she have like, punched Puck? That kind of stuff isn't done for girls like me, and rightfully so.
Rachel's not sure if she'd ever disliked anyone as much as she disliked Noah right then. She made it known with a pointed look, and she wondered if she should turn around and go back to Quinn. She shook the thought out of her head as she continued on; Quinn doesn't want my help. Besides, she and Noah got themselves into this, now they have each other. That vindictive thought didn't make her feet any less heavy as she counted the steps away from Quinn.
The win at sectionals and the impromptu performance for Mr. Schuester were only temporary fixes for Finn's mood, Rachel knew that. The minute they finished and Schuester bolted out of the room - "He's going after her!" Mercedes had shouted excitedly - Finn's mood fell once again. One look at Quinn and Finn had grabbed his stuff and bolted from the room, Rachel fast on his heel.
"Finn! Finn, wait!" She called, speed walking to the best of her ability but failing to compete with his giant-sized strides. At least it was long past the school hour being over, so they were the only ones in the hallway that she knew of.
She winced as he threw his backpack at his locker, causing the entire row to shake heavily. Non-deterred, Rachel quickly minimized the gap between them and laid a small hand on his heaving back. Finn jumped as if he was just burned and turned around too fast. It all happened too fast. Rachel was too close, Finn was too mad, time moved too fast and Finn's open hands were flailing too madly as he whirled around. Rachel was too close. He backhanded her face hard. Hard enough to knock her stumbling away from him.
Time chose then to stop. Finn stood there, frozen, his hands still up in an exasperated position. Rachel now stood five feet away from him, her hands cupping the right side of her face, eyes open in shock and full of tears. Rachel wasn't sure if she'd ever seen Finn so shocked.
"Oh, God. Oh, God, Rachel I-I-I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for that to happen, I-I didn't know you were standing so… Oh God," he stuttered, taking a step towards her and extending his hand to her. She winced as she saw his hand moving toward her and that was enough for him to draw back.
Rachel didn't take her eyes off Finn as she choked out brave and quiet sobs. She lowered her hands from her face and saw Finn gasp, it must already be bruising. He took another step toward her and she took a step back, putting her hands up. Taking another step back, Rachel wrapped her arms around her body and sped off back towards the Glee room. Finn stood in the hall, a tear or two escaping his eyes as he watched her run from him.
Everyone was so busy in their own groups talking about sectionals that no one paid Rachel any attention when she came rushing back into the room. Not that they paid her any attention, anyway. Brittany was the first to notice, taking a moment to smile at the newcomer in the band room when she saw it was Rachel. She gasped over Quinn's head, and Santana immediately grabbed her hand and turned to Brittany, "What's wrong Brit?"
Brittany's eyes watered with worry as she asked across the room, "Rachel, Rachel what happened? Did someone finally hit you for talking too much?" The room went silent, and everyone but Quinn turned to gape at Rachel.
Her plan of grabbing her backpack, running out of the building and going to a secluded spot to sob and clean herself up before going home was ruined by the only person in the room who took notice to her. Rachel tried to keep the right side of her face hidden from the room as she hoisted her backpack up onto her shoulder as she mumbled, "No I just had an accident. It's fine."
Turning towards the door, she gasped when she saw Puck standing in front of it, effectively blocking her only way out. Rachel's eyes burned holes into the ground as her breathing became labored and tears pooled in her eyes again. Not to mention, her face hurt like a truck or something had hit her.
Quinn was the last to turn around, not wanting to connect the pieces that were already connected in her head. Rachel had chased a furious Finn out into the hall. Rachel comes back, sans Finn, with - she turned around and saw it. From her right eye down to her chin, swollen; parts of it were already very black and blue, with a cut right under her eye. Finn wears a ring. She heard Santana growl low in her throat, and Mercedes mumbled "Oh hell, nah," and Quinn knew they knew.
Rachel knew that they knew. She turned back to Noah and pleaded, "Please, please let me out, Noah." His gaze softened but he shook his head.
"Rachel did Finn-?" but he was cut off as shudders wracked Rachel's small body. Brittany ran forward, as did Mercedes and Tina, and they helped Rachel into a chair. Mike and Matt joined Puck on either side of the door. Kurt stayed where he was, but his eyes immediately searched for Quinn's. Quinn's gaze hadn't moved from Rachel's face though. She felt Santana shaking in anger next to her and wondered when Santana had started caring about the mini diva. Not that it mattered. Quinn's fury was building by the second, and her calm exterior was her perfect armor.
Brittany was holding Rachel's face in her hands, and Mercedes was holding a cold water bottle up to her face. Artie, who had rolled up to her side, was the first to speak. "Rachel, did Finn do this to you?"
Rachel winced and whispered "It was an accident." That was enough for Puck, Matt, and Mike. They were out of that room before Rachel could stop them from going. Maybe Finn deserves it. No… she winced again, if anyone in this room deserved to be hit it was me. She shook away Mercedes ministrations lightly, "It was an accident. And besides, I deserved it."
Rachel's words echoed in Quinn's head loud enough to snap her resolve. Apparently, it was enough to snap Santana as well, because the now furious Cheerio gruffly pushed by Quinn as she stormed out of the room. Brittany stood to call after her, but thought better of it, mumbling something about "Santana needs to do this so she won't be grumpy."
Quinn, now the only person who wasn't by Rachel's side - except Kurt, and that's because he was still in his chair giving Quinn this weird look like he knows something I don't or something - silently thanked Santana. Still not taking her eyes off Rachel's broken face, words echoed through her head. Just avoid my nose. As if I could make it any bigger with a punch. Win-win. Just go. She finally approached Rachel and barely registered Tina and Artie's whispered "It's going to be okay, you'll be okay" and Brittany's soft, "Santana will take care of him. Don't worry; your nose will be okay."
Quinn laid her hand on Brittany's shoulder and made eye contact. Suddenly Quinn was the one kneeling in front of Rachel, and all Rachel could do was look into those hazel eyes and want to apologize. For what, she had no idea. Quinn didn't touch Rachel, it was a rule that she wouldn't break even then, but she took in Rachel's wound up close. She whispered to Brittany to go get some cold sodas from the vending machine. Money was exchanged, and Kurt left with Brittany to get more cold compresses.
Then it was just them. Rachel winced as Quinn took over holding the cold water bottle to her face. Rachel whispered, "Don't be mad at him."
Quinn didn't raise an eyebrow or have any emotion for that matter, but she did meet Rachel's eyes. On the inside, Quinn had never been so mad. Even when she found out that Puck had gotten her pregnant, or that her parents were kicking her out. This was different. Everything was different now. She took in a heavy breath.
"Please," Rachel pleaded.
Quinn snapped and hissed through her teeth "God, damnet Berry. I know you're not this moronic."
Rachel's mouth snapped shut and more tears began to form in her eyes, and she winced at how badly it stung her face to cry. Quinn closed her eyes and sucked in a breath and hell, everything is different now anyway. She softly lifted up Rachel's chin so that they were meeting eyes again as Quinn whispered, "I'm not mad at you, man hands. I need to know...what happened?"
Everyone who was left in the room grew quiet as Rachel's eyes darted around them. Quinn dropped her hand from Rachel's chin and set it on the shorter girl's knee. "It's okay, you can tell us. It's just us here."
Rachel's gaze flickered to Quinn and then back down to the ground. She took in exactly five deep breaths - a breathing technique used to calm the nerves that had never failed her before now - and she told them. Well, she told Quinn mainly, but only because she was right in front of me, she placated herself with. She told them how everything went too fast, how Finn was too mad, and how Rachel was dumb and deserved it anyway.
"Stop saying that," Quinn harshly whispered as Rachel finished. Rachel jumped slightly, moving a little away from Quinn. Closing her eyes, the blond caught her breath and let her heart calm down, "I mean, you didn't deserve it, okay? So please, stop saying that."
Rachel nodded wordlessly, her own hand gripping the one Quinn had set on her knee. She chanced the phrase once more, "It was an accident though." She looked around the room at everyone's furious expression, and she couldn't understand why they cared so much. "Why do you guys care so much? I would've thought…"
"That we'd be happy about this?" Mercedes asked, incredulously, after a beat of silence.
"Maybe that's a little lesson on what you've all reduced Berry to," Santana hissed from the doorway.
"Since when do you care, Lopez? And why are you not included in the group of people who have screwed Berry up?" Mercedes jeered from her position at Rachel's side. Quinn didn't take her eyes off Rachel's face though, so she saw the fresh tears in the brunette's eyes.
"All of you shut the hell up," Quinn snapped, "Think about the way you're going to answer her. We all care about you, Berry. Apparently we needed something really bad to happen to you before we realized it, though," Quinn said, her voice dropping significantly at the last part.
"That's going to change," Tina solemnly and quietly swore. Everyone in the group nodded, but Quinn was too pissed at everyone to care. These idiots are the most selfish, self-indulgent hyenas that I've ever known. She sighed, finally taking her eyes off Rachel, "S, is it taken care of?"
Santana's hands were bruised, but Quinn knew that Brittany would take care of that later. Quinn was just thankful that Santana had run out of the room before she had, because Quinn honestly thought that she would have killed Finn.
"It's done, Q. I think we all need to head home, now," Santana mumbled, nursing her hands. Brittany and Kurt came with arm full's of soda, and the group sat for a few more minutes, calming and tending to Rachel. Artie, Tina, and Mercedes left first. Kurt offered Rachel a ride home, and Rachel numbly accepted.
Brittany and Santana left next, with Brittany cradling Santana's hands and cooing into her ear. Quinn walked with Kurt and Rachel to the parking lot, carrying both hers and Rachel's backpack. Puck, Matt, and Mike never came back to the room.
After making sure Rachel was safely inside of Kurt's car, Quinn pulled Kurt aside. "Not one insult or bitchy comment to her."
Kurt scoffed, looking genuinely insulted, "Look preggers, I may be a bitch but I'm not heartless." He softened, "Really, this… everything changed today. I don't think there's ever been a more exciting day in McKinley High history. Even babygate got trumped." Quinn smiled slightly. "You care about her, why?"
Quinn's head snapped up at this, "Maybe because everyone else just realized today that they did, and were too ignorant to keep that from her. And I don't care about her, I just owe her."
Kurt's eyes pierced through Quinn, effectively silencing her into dropping her head and shuffling her feet, "Just, make sure she gets home, okay? She hasn't even spoken…" She didn't finish the thought, and Kurt didn't pry.
He did question, however, "What's going to happen now? What do we do?"
Quinn shrugged, "Just get her home. I think we're all going to figure it out one day at a time from here."
"Together," Kurt said, resolutely.
"Together," Quinn whispered, "Sort of like a dysfunctional family."
Kurt smiled and walked to the driver's door, "Exactly."
Quinn watched them drive off and pull out of the parking lot before it hit her. "Where am I supposed to go?" she asked the empty parking lot. She'd been staying with Finn. Suddenly, her smile grew. She'd been staying with Finn. Well, time to go home. She smiled all the way to her car, eager to see the poor, little victimized Finn.