((These are short notes written by a 40K-RPG character of mine. Her name is Kyrie, originally from a hive-world with hive-pyramids, citysprawls and not much else but scrap and junk. She was saved after an unfortunate run-in with some things xenos (which would've gained her a punishment to become a servitor) by a man called Stell and his follower Aio. Owing them her life, she does her best to keep up to their expectations. Their group at the time of this writing also consists of Imbra, a woman with top-class genes gained by her family after aeons on a very, very competitive world, and Eli, a gay soldier from Thallia. What they know, is that Stell holds a very powerful Inquisitor captured, and uses his identity. This is in order to pull strings otherwise hard to get to. Stell's purpose has something to do with Quixos from centuries ago, and what that man originally intended to do, before becoming corrupted. He has extraordinary abilities, and Kyrie trusts him fully. What exactly he wants, she does not know, but has quite a good idea - it involves her revered Emperor and his current state. During a stay on Cadia, they had a certain someone join them - an Adeptus Astartes, Corax. They did indeed not have much choice.
The below excerpt from Kyries slab was written in a spire city on Agrippina. The group, without Aio and Stell, are hunting down a Inquisitor lady gone corrupted. She has information, Stell needs it. They have to make it before something mysteriously named Grey Knights arrives to take care of her. Kyrie is sitting in the common room of the small place they are renting under cover of being employees at a shipping company, musing. Not used to thinking so much as acting, she tries to get her thoughts in order by writing them down. Written the morning after two evenings of playing Kyrie, I was unable to get her out of my head. Something was the matter with my character. This was what she was thinking and yes, occasionally I get that deep a connection to my characters.))
Yes, I admit to anyone who does read this, I did not expect you to. What follows are thoughts that I certainly would never voice aloud.
Ever since being rescued from the unpleasantness of becoming a servitor, by Aio and his – our – master Stell, my life has been very much different. I am not on my home planet, chasing machine monsters and other things disturbing peoples enterprises and lives. My grenades alone does not always avail, and I am chasing something so much bigger than any I could ever have thought. It is a dream, or so I have understood. A dream I dare not voice, except in my head, but one I have no choice but to commit myself fully to. It is for the Emperor, so I am told, and I believe fully in Stells vision – whatever it might be, he has not explained in to its full extent yet. I must believe, so I do. The glory of the Emperor is so much greater than I ever imagined, and truly, no evil can come to that inner part of me that is devoted to Him.
Other people also have joined. Imbra, whom I am sure hides much beind her facade, but whose skills far surpasses mine. Stell must be much satisfied in finding and hiring her. Eli, whom I have met briefly before. A strange character, much too happy with boys yet quite able and competent.
Then there is Corax.
I have never sensed any but good in him. Though his ways are alien and most often seem strange to us, I cannot help but think about him. He is far superior to any of us, in speed, skill, stamina and intelligence. Yet he seems young – though something nags my mind and tells me he's not. He is, so far as I know, an Adeptus Astartes. As close to the Emperor as anything I will ever meet. He seems human enough but oh, he is not. To me, he seems to shine with an inner light, to be the grandest I have ever met, to do nothing but good.
Mayhap I am mistaken? I think not.
The effect he has on me is that his presence assures me somehow I will not come to harm. That whatever happens, the Emperor sees us. And that he is the one calm, steady thing in a world that is spinning and tumbling faster and faster. I wish only to stay in his presence. I cannot imagine he would part with us, except would it be wholly for the safety of the mission.
My face do not seem to disturb him. Not that it much matters to me, looks have never had an effect on drooling, roaring monsters you're supposed to take down. And of course, he never knew me with it whole.
His youthful looks, I can look at them forever. He does not seem to mind. Towering above us all, he truly at times resemble what he is. My mind truly lingers far too often on him. Wondering what he is doing and how he is faring, even though I know it is never anything but good.
Suddenly, I realise what I have been writing above. Reading it through, some things start to clear. I do not particularly like what I think. I do not like it at all. It endangers much, it disturbs me very, very much. Maybe I am wrong, I cannot say I have ever been in quite this situation before. Maybe I am wrong.
But I think I may be falling in love.