An idea that I got while playing Splatoon 2 and realising all the music was credited to in-universe bands.

Also a quick content warning: this chapter contains bad language and one (1) messed up sexual reference

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An Elusive Band

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"Did you hear? Steel Cog Ascension released a new mini album!"

"For real? Fuck, I gotta find a torrent asap!"

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"Hey, have you like, listened to the Desperate Hurricane album yet?"

"Uh. The what?"

"Oh my god, are you telling me you don't know about SCA? Have you been living under a rock?"

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"My favourite track has got to be A Stranger I Remain, like, holy shit. They need to let Mu sing more, her voice is godly."

"You're so fucking predictable, the best track is obviously Red Sun. There's a reason why Delta's vocals are used more, you know."

"Wha- How the hell can you call yourself a Steel Cog Ascension fan when you can't even tell that the lead vocal from that song is Alpha, like all the actually good songs? What the fuck man."

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"The album name is suspicious, to say the least. Especially coming from such an... intensely private band like them."

"They go by codenames and symbols, they host some very odd 'live' performances, they've never shown their real faces..."

"And on top of that, they encrypt their location whenever they're online. They've got a seriously good tech guy, I haven't been able to get in at all."

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"I heard there was a bonus track? Wonder where they've hidden it this time."

"ARG for it ended last night. It's called Hot Wind Blowing, do you want it?"

"Oh hell yeah. You should upload it somewhere bigger."

"Yeah I will, but like... SCA gives us so much great music for free, you know? I wish there was some way to give them money."

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"Hey, did you guys hear that?"

She spun in her swivel chair, and gestured towards the speakers at her desk - a cluttered mess of both musical and surveillance equipment.

"That guy wants us to make actual profits! Pretty cute."

She was codenamed Mu, and was the bass player of the heavy metal band Steel Cog Ascension. She also happened to be a specialist in surveillance bugs and managed a respectably large information network.

"Nice," said Alpha, the lead singer and field operative. "I gotta say, the Winds of Destruction were pretty great sources of inspiration."

He specialised in infiltration and covert photography. Both of these skills got him the nickname "Stalker" from the rest of the band, who insisted that actually sneaking up on someone and taking their photos was much creepier than hacking into their telecommunications or drone spying.

"Not to mention they're hot as hell." Delta grinned, resting his chin in his hands. He handled the synths, and also handled the surveillance drones. "Like damn, Jetstream Sam could be a model. If he wasn't so observant of his surroundings I could drone-watch him all day."

Alpha sighed. "Mistral is objectively the most attractive, and you'll never change my mind on this," he said in a flat tone.

"You do you, Stalker boy. Doesn't change the fact that Samuel Rodrigues is very, very handsome."

"You two are so basic." Ipsilon, who played the drums and was also a field operative specialising in tracking and locating, smiled dreamily. "Monsoon is where it's at. I want him to moan while clinging desperately to Dystopia stabbed into my chest, trying to stay upright while he sits on my d-"

"Ip, no, that's... I didn't need to know that." Theta, the final member, groaned. "What kind of masochistic domme are you, anyway? Don't answer that. I really don't need more detailed accounts of your fantasies."

Theta played the electric guitar for Steel Cog Ascension. They also handled most pf the hacking work, with special expertise in telecommunications.

"Sundowner is pretty hot though, if you know what I mean," they added with a smirk. "Big guys are nice and cuddly."

There was a pause as the rest of them tried to process Sundowner being "nice and cuddly".

"Y'all are all kinds of messed up," said Mu, annoyed. "The Winds of Destruction are murderers and warmongers, you know."

She paused.

"But I do think Mistral is the hottest. I'll fight you all on this."

A playful fight broke out between the band members, with shouts declaring their respective favourites. After only a few seconds, though, Theta gave a loud shout.

"Mu's Desperado channel is online! It actually sounds like they're talking about us!"

The fight died instantly as the five band members crowded around Mu's messy desk, watching the clusters of feeds coming from her bugs in Desperado HQ.

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"So, what's this about?" asked Jetstream Sam, looking around at the other four.

Having five high-level Desperado cyborgs in the same place was a highly unusual occurrence, but here they were. Monsoon, Mistral, Sundowner, Minuano, Khamsin. The Winds of Destruction.

"I'm going to assume you know about the band Steel Cog Ascension." Sundowner held up a memory stick. "This was delivered to us, apparently by them, a few days before they released their little mini-album."

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"Aw man, they didn't get it through security fast enough to hear it ahead of everyone else? I did all that infiltration legwork and bug-planting for nothing?"

"Stalker, shut up. I can't hear."

"That was uncalled for, Desperado HQ is hard as balls to get into-"

"Shush!"

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"Some... heavy metal band broke into our headquarters?" Mistral tapped her feet. "What was in the stick?"

"The Desperate Hurricane album, but with the track names changed to naming each of us." Sundowner smirked. "I fucking knew the name seemed suspicious. Are they sending us a challenge? Hah."

"Let's hear it," said Khamsin impatiently. "I've got better shit to do than stand around waiting to listen to music."

Sundownder tossed to memory stick to Monsoon, who placed it into the computer and opened the files.

"The first track is..." He paused slightly. "Mistral - A Stranger I Remain."

Roaring guitar and pounding drums filled the room.

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Band Member Profile: Alpha

The lead singer of Steel Cog Ascension, and a skilled infiltrator. He considers himself a leader in aspects other than singing, but the other members pretty much only respect him for his vocal and infiltration skills - that is to say, the things that he's actually good at.

His background is somewhat of a mystery even among the other band members, due to his spotty memory on anything from before four years ago. The psychiatrists and doctors he visited generally suggested that it may be repressed memories due to emotional trauma rather than any physical trauma to the brain. His accent and appearance suggest that he is American, with his family originating somewhere in the Middle East.

Is nicknamed "Stalker" by the other band members, who are all fully aware of the hypocrisy. He hates it.