The wind rushed through the trees pushing the leaves downward making it seem as if they were bowing to the Earth. The leaves seemed to beg for release but the wind wasn't going to let go that easily. It was meant to bother the trees, the bushes and any human that happened to wander through this forest. And at the moment the man that was taking his care through the trees felt the wind and the cold it brought with it. The cold was starting to creep deeper than before and he wrapped his free arm around his jacket to try and trap any warmth that he still had.
His brother would kill him if he knew he was was out in the woods walking with no purpose. He needed this though. He needed to walk, needed the fresh air and needed a bunch of other things he didn't have. He would take what he could get. And at that moment it was a walk and fresh air. Anything to take his mind off of his brother.
He stumbled against a tree root that almost took him to his knees but he somehow continued on. There were things that tried to kill him and bring him to his knees at all times. A tree root wouldn't be one of them. He swung his right arm and took a deep swig of the whiskey bottle he held there. The burn hurt all the way down his throat and his body responded to the liquor in a bad way. He held his hand over his mouth in order to keep the liquor down. He didn't need any more but a drunk Winchester didn't care about how far you take it. They would feel it tomorrow. As long as they didn't hurt today.
He remembered when it didn't take anything to get him drunk. It seemed like forever ago and now he was giving his older brother a run for his money. His father and his brother drank whiskey and he knew that if he was going to get drunk it would be the best choice. He was almost through this bottle but it didn't matter to him. Once he finished it he wouldn't go looking for more. One bottle was enough to hold him over until he felt like drowning in emptiness again. He wished that would be later rather than sooner but he knew come tomorrow he would be looking for another liquor store.
He came to a clearing and couldn't do anything but fall to his knees. The whiskey was getting to him and his emotions were running high. The Winchester leaned back and sat on his legs letting his body become hunched over. The whiskey bottle seemed to come to his lips on its own accord and he swallowed the last few shots in one huge gulp. Tossing the whiskey bottle towards a tree he was satisfied when he heard the bottle break. He closed his eyes and breathed in deeply as he felt the tears start running down his face.
"Sam." The Winchester opened his eyes and saw his brother standing next to a tree. The way he was standing seemed to suggest he was waiting for his wandering brother. The older hunter stepped forward and came to stand in front of his hurting sibling.
"Dean."
"What are you doing out here? And all by yourself!"
"I was just." Sam paused to hiccup before he continued his slurred speech. "Taking a walk."
"Are you drunk?" Dean's eyes held accusation but there was a hint of worry there as well.
"What if I am?"
"You can't be in the middle of the woods drunk in the middle of a hunt! I taught you better than that! Hell, Dad taught you better!" Dean sounded angry but it wasn't getting through to Sam. Sam's mind was yelling at him, trying to tell him something that he just couldn't grasp.
"I finished the hunt. I destroyed the nest." Dean's eyebrows rose in surprise but the common mask came upon his face again.
"You finished it? How's about from now on you drink in your room Sam."
"No."
"Why not?" Sam surged to his feet in a fluid movement and stood his ground before his brother. His emotions came out immediately and for once Sam didn't regret it. He needed this release.
"Because it reminds me of you! I can't be around any motel room or the Impala or your guns or..."
"Whoa! Okay Sam. Just calm down." Sam turned from his brother and swayed on his feet for a second before righting himself again. He closed his eyes hoping this would go away. He couldn't bear to look at his brother right now. Not when he was this weak. He felt pressure on his shoulder and he knew his brother had come to comfort him. For a second Sam hoped that it was all real. That Dean was really there helping him.
"Why?" Sam's whisper was almost lost to the wind but Dean seemed to hear it as he came to stand in front of his brother.
"Why what Sam?"
"Why did you leave me?" Sam lifted his head and saw his brother's compassionate eyes staring back at him. He was exactly how Sam remembered him and every bone in Sam's body ached knowing his brother was gone.
"I had to."
"No you didn't. You could have let me die. Why didn't you just let me go?"
"The same reason you can't let me go."
Sam choked on a sob and fell straight to his knees. He fell forward and caught himself on his hands and let it all go. His body heaved with the sobs that racked his body and he couldn't stop himself. Dean was long gone and he didn't want to fight this war alone. Hell he would give anything to get his big brother back. He even tried but none of it worked. He was alone.
"Sam." Another pressure on his shoulder. He ignored it knowing it was probably Dean and he couldn't look at his brother right now. Not when he was this weak with emotion.
"Sam." A tightening of the shoulder and a more persistent voice had him looking up. Looking up straight into Ruby's concerned face. He turned away from her immediately with a groan knowing she would never let him live this down. She would be on his case immediately and the Winchester didn't want to deal with that right now.
"Leave me alone."
"What are you doing out here all by yourself?" Sam leaned back to sit on his legs again and wiped his running nose with the sleeve of his jacket. It seemed colder now that he concentrated on it but it didn't bother him. Nothing really bothered him anymore.
"Just go."
"Are you drunk?" Sam sighed before pushing himself to his feet. He knew the demon wouldn't leave him in the middle of the woods. He started going back the way he came knowing Ruby would follow. He ignored her though and from her huffing he could tell she wasn't pleased about that. She was mumbling and it was loud enough for Sam to hear her even over the sound of the rustling leaves.
"Winchesters. Sitting in the middle of the woods alone. No note. No nothing. Such a pain in my ass. Almost worse than his brother." Sam turned on her and her head must have been down because she walked right into him. She backed up a step in surprise before gaining her composure.
"Speak one more word of my brother and I'll send your ass straight to Hell."
"Sam."
"One word Ruby. Do you understand?"
"Yes."
Sam immediately left her there watching him walk away towards the waiting Impala. Sam almost couldn't comprehend how he was going to sit in the car without thinking about Dean but right now he would have to deal. The wind was picking up and the cold was getting to him. He needed the only warmth he could get and at the moment that was the Impala. The thoughts of Dean would have to pushed back to another day and another bottle of whiskey.