Chapter 1
Emma Swan balanced the take-out bag precariously in one hand as she dug for her key with the other. She sorted through all manner of crap in her purse, but the one thing her hand didn't come in contact with was the key to her apartment.
Figures.
With the kind of day she'd had today, why did she think anything would go right?
Cursing fluently under her breath, she set her dinner on the hallway floor and made a more thorough search of her bag…and her coat…and her pockets. Nothing.
Finally admitting defeat, she groaned, closed her eyes, and rested her forehead against the smooth wood of her door.
It had been a long day and all she wanted was comfort food, a bottle of red wine (or possibly something stronger), and a movie that might make her forget the freak show that was her life. Looks like that wasn't happening anytime soon.
Emma dug out her phone—which, thank God was in her bag right where she put it—and considered who she should call.
Her roommate Mary Margaret had a date with her boyfriend David tonight. Shocker. Emma didn't think those two spent half a minute apart anymore. It was like they shared a heart or something.
She could always try her other roommate, Ruby, but, well, it was Friday night and the chances of her being home—or anywhere quiet enough that she could actually hear her phone—were slim to none. Ruby gave the phrase "party animal" a whole new meaning.
Groaning again, Emma sank down until she was seated on the hallway floor, her head resting against her apartment door. She could pick the lock, of course; as a former bail bonds person it was well within her bag of tricks, but for a moment she just wanted to wallow in self-pity.
And given what day it was, she deserved a few minutes to wallow.
It was one year ago today she'd gone through what she liked to call the breakup from hell.
Emma laughed humorlessly. She'd actually thought she was beginning to get her life together. She'd built quite a career for herself. As a bail bonds person she was the best of the best. Emma Swan always got her man. She was so successful her clients had dubbed her "the savior."
And then she'd met Walsh and fallen in love. Granted he wasn't the most exciting man she'd ever dated, and there was always something missing, but he was a good guy and he treated her well.
At least that's what she thought up until that fateful night one year ago.
Up until the night he'd…but she didn't want to think about it anymore. Suffice it to say, it had taught her a very important lesson. A happy ending wasn't in the cards for "the savior"; the sooner she got that through her head the sooner she could move on with her life and be…well, if not quite happy…at least numb. Feeling nothing is a pretty attractive option when what you feel sucks.
After she'd kicked Walsh's worthless ass to the curb, she'd curled up on her couch and called the only "family" she had, her college roommate and best friend Mary Margaret Blanchard.
And Mary Margaret had tossed her a lifeline.
After spilling the whole, sordid tale, Emma lamented that she just wanted to get away. She was sick of the city. Sick of the kind of scum of the earth she hunted for a living. Sick of the kind of losers that were apparently the only men she could find to date. Sick of her crap life. Sick of everything.
She was running, and she knew it.
Emma expected Mary Margaret to call her on it, make some comment about how she can't run away from her problems, or about how she needed to hold on to hope, or how she needed to stick it out and make lemonade out of the lemons life handed her.
But Mary Margaret had surprised her. It seems Once Upon a Time Academy, the small private elementary school where Mary Margaret taught was in desperate need of a security guard. Graham Humbert, their previous guard, had recently passed away quite suddenly. A heart attack, apparently. It was all very sudden and shocking, and the small community of Storybrooke, Maine was reeling from it. Mary Margaret urged Emma to apply for the job.
And so, within two weeks of the breakup from hell, Emma packed up her plush New York apartment, moved in with Mary Margaret and her roommate Ruby Lucas, and began life as the security guard for an exclusive school in a sleepy little town.
It was kind of nice, really. She liked the relaxed pace of the town. She liked the fact that everyone knew everyone else. She liked that her days were spent with adorable little tots drawing her pictures and giving her hugs as they made their way to their busses at the end of the day. She liked that the worst she had to deal with was the occasional pair of fourth graders getting into a tussle on the playground.
It hadn't all been rainbow kisses and unicorn stickers, of course. She'd had more than her fair share of run-ins with Regina Mills, the principal of Once Upon a Time. Yeah, there was a reason Ms. Mills was known among the students as "the evil queen."
But as the months had passed, she and Regina had eventually come to a truce…and then formed a kind of grudging friendship. The woman might be gruff and abrasive at times, but she wasn't really a villain.
Apparently, several years ago, she'd had a brief and well-publicized marriage to Leopold Blanchard, the founder of Once Upon a Time Academy, and Mary Margaret's father. The far older man had died under suspicious circumstances, and many people had believed Regina had a hand in it somehow but nothing was ever proven.
Whoever Regina had been back then, she seemed to be genuinely trying to turn her life around now. Emma secretly suspected a certain groundskeeper at the academy by the name of Robin Locksley had a lot to do with it. The way those two looked at each other—yearning looks and doe-y eyes—yeah, there's no way there wasn't something going on there.
And that brought Emma to the events of today.
Regina called an emergency staff meeting for the end of the school day—a staff meeting that every person employed by Once Upon a Time Academy was required to attend. Emma went into the conference room with some amount of wariness. Anytime Regina called a full-staff meeting it was a safe bet there was nothing good coming.
Emma, running late, scanned the room as she arrived. She certainly wasn't the only one apprehensive coming into this thing. From Mary Margaret anxiously furrowing her brow, to David Nolan, the gym teacher, holding her hand and frowning, to Leroy Little, curmudgeonly janitor extraordinaire scowling fiercely enough to kill, to librarian Belle French obsessively looking through a huge tome as though hoping to find the reason for the summons, to everyone in between, everyone seemed to be preparing for bad news. (Well, everyone except Robin Locksley, who merely sat at the front, looking with obvious pride up at Regina who stood regally in her no-nonsense black pant-suit.)
"Hey sister!" Leroy grumbled, "could we get this show on the road. It's Friday night and some of us have plans!"
"Oy! What kind of plans?" Will Scarlet, assistant groundskeeper, tossed over his shoulder. "We ain't stupid. Not like you got a date or something."
"Hey!" Leroy thundered, getting to his full—if diminutive—stature. "I'll have you know I get more action in a weekend than you've gotten your entire life!"
"Why you little…"
Regina cleared her throat and shot the two men a look so venomous it's a wonder they didn't fall over dead on the spot.
"As amusing as this little argument is turning out to be, could we get back to the topic at hand?" she asked icily.
Emma leaned back in the chair she'd taken next to her roommate. "Yeah, Ms. Mills, just what might that 'topic' be?"
Regina shot her an exasperated look. "What else? The gala!"
Emma groaned inwardly. The gala; the school's big yearly fundraising event. For the past several weeks, flyers, posters and letters had been popping up all over town:
"You are warmly invited to our 28th annual Once Upon a Time Academy spring gala: CARIBBEAN SHORES! April 18, 2015 at "The Mansion". We will be dancing to the music of the Dwarfs! (The Dwarfs are a well-known six piece, national band, coving the hits across all ages and genres! Expect to have fun with The Dwarfs, who tell us they don't just give a concert, they throw a party! Dress: from black tie to Blackbeard."
It sounded cheesy as hell, and Emma was bound and determined to have nothing to do with it.
Easier said than done around here. It was all anyone could talk about—particularly Regina. Apparently the proceeds would be used to update technology at the school, and Regina was determined that this year's gala would be the most successful ever.
"It has come to my attention," Regina said in a low voice, sweeping the entire assembly with an icy glare, "that there are those in this very room who not only haven't bought their tickets yet, but who aren't even planning to attend."
Emma squirmed uncomfortably and averted her gaze.
"Let me be abundantly clear," Regina continued. "That is utterly unacceptable. As an employee of this institution, you will attend the gala, and you will enjoy yourself while you're there."
"Good luck mandating that," Emma muttered under her breath.
"Miss Swan," Regina said, narrowing her eyes, "Is there something you want to share with the group?"
Emma rolled her eyes. "Ms. Mills, don't you think you're being a little…um…unreasonable."
"No, I do not," she snapped. "What's more, if you have not yet made your plans for the evening, I'd suggest you do so ASAP. As representatives of this school, I expect each and every one of you to not only attend, but fully immerse yourselves in the theme of the night."
And as the meeting went on, Emma learned exactly what that meant. Pirates. Regina was mandating they all come dressed as freaking pirates!
When Emma protested….loudly….and with a few well-placed off color words…Regina was swift to pounce. For her insubordination and profanity, Emma was drafted into the welcome committee. Not only did she have to attend the gala—as a freaking pirate's wench—she had to get there early, sign attendees in, and warmly welcome them.
Just thinking about the ridiculous meeting…and just what she'd been roped into…made Emma groan again as she began banging her head against her apartment door. Suddenly the smooth wood gave from behind her, and Emma found herself sprawled on her back, looking up at a very confused Ruby.
"Emma?" she asked, "what are you doing down there?"
Emma got awkwardly to her feet, snagged her dinner and clomped into the apartment. "Forgot my key."
Ruby closed the door and Emma could feel the bemused look her roommate was sending her way. "Okay….why didn't you knock?"
"It's Friday night. Figured you'd be out partying."
"I was just about to," Ruby said excitedly, and for the first time, Emma got a good look at her. She wore a tight red dress that looked to have less material than some of Emma's belts. With her sky-high stilettoes and matching handbag, she looked ready to take on the town. "Victor and I are meeting David and Mary Margaret at The Rabbit Hole. You should totally come with us!"
"Yeah…no thanks," Emma said, dropping her take-out and coat on the table and sinking onto the couch. "Not really in the mood to be the fifth wheel tonight."
"Don't worry about that!" Ruby insisted, plopping down on the other end of the sofa. "I'm sure Victor can find one of his friends to set you up with."
Emma winced, remembering the last time Victor tried to set her up with one of his friends. What was the guy's name? Something Nottingham. He kept referring to himself as the Sheriff of Nottingham, and he was probably the biggest lech alive.
"Thanks anyway Ruby, but it's been a hell of a day. I think I'll just hang out here and watch The Princess Bride or something."
"Uh oh," Ruby said, giving her a sympathetic look, "if you're pulling out The Princess Bride, this must have been one horrible day. What happened?"
Emma shrugged. "Not much really, other than a full staff meeting that Regina called." Emma dropped her eyes and started picking at a loose thread on the sofa. "It's more the day itself rather than anything that happened. It's the anniversary of…well…Walsh."
"Oh…" Ruby said, moving forward and placing a comforting hand on Emma's shoulder. "Yeah, that counts as a Princess Bride kind of day. I'm just surprised you haven't broken out the chocolate and hard liquor yet."
Emma grimaced. "Don't think I haven't been tempted. It's kind of pathetic, I know. It's been a year. Shouldn't bother me so much anymore."
Ruby was silent for long moments, and finally Emma looked up at her. Big mistake. Her friend's eyes were twin pools of sympathy, and Emma felt herself begin to tear up. She viciously swiped at her eyes, telling herself she absolutely would not waste another tear on that son of a bitch.
"He hurt you," Ruby said finally. "Bad. You're allowed to be emotional today. Just…don't let it keep you from living your life. Sometimes you have to kiss a few flying monkeys before you find your prince."
Well, Emma had never heard the saying quite like that. Still, it was oddly appropriate.
"Yeah," Emma said, finally, "it's just…maybe all that love and romance stuff isn't for me. My track record with men is terrible."
"Just haven't met the right one yet!" Ruby insisted, a gleam coming into her eyes. "And that's why you should agree to come to the gala!"
Emma dropped her face into her hands and shook her head. She should have known this was coming. As co-owner of Lucas, Lucas and Whale, an exclusive event planning firm, Ruby was one of the main forces behind putting the gala together. As such, she'd been hounding Emma to get a ticket for what felt like years.
"Now Emma, just hear me out…"
"No need," Emma said, raising her hands in surrender. "That's the other terrible thing that happened today. Regina mandated we all attend."
Ruby squealed and bounced up and down on the couch.
Emma sighed. Best get it all out there. "And while we're on the topic, looks like I'll need to take a trip down to your other shop. Regina threatened me within an inch of my life if I didn't come as a pirate wench."
Another squeal. This one so high pitched it probably had all the dogs in the neighborhood on high alert. In addition to her event planning firm, Ruby also owned and managed Big Bad Wolf, Storybrookes first and only costume shop.
"Oh Emma!" Ruby said, clapping her hands together. "I have the perfect costume for you! You'll make quite the sensation."
"Ruby," Emma said, not trusting the gleam in her friends eye, "just to be clear, if the adjectives sexy, slutty or trampy could be used to describe it, it's out."
Ruby pouted. "You have no faith in me at all!"
Emma looked pointedly at Ruby's lack of a dress.
"Well, fine!" Ruby said, "just because I like to display my assets doesn't mean I want to force anyone else to. I can find you a costume that will make you look amazing even if you do have a ridiculous thing against flaunting what you've got."
"Hope so. It'll be bad enough rubbing elbows with the parents of our students without giving them a peep show."
"Just leave it to me, Emma. You'll be fabulous."
They lapsed into silence for several moments, and then Ruby turned toward her again. "In all seriousness Emma, this will be good for you. It's time to start living again. You deserve to be happy as much as any of the rest of us, and maybe this gala is the first step. And who knows. Maybe you'll even meet a sexy pirate captain who'll sweep you off your feet and make you forget Walsh even exists."
Notes:
-Welcome to my first ever AU (at least my first ever AU that veers significantly from canon)! I've never attempted such a thing before, but recent events in my own life suggested this story to my mind, and it demands to written!
-This story was inspired by my church's annual fundraising gala which will be held this coming Saturday. Normally the gala is held over the Kentucky Derby weekend, and that's the theme, but this year, they decided to try something different. The theme is Caribbean Shores and we're all being encouraged to dress as pirates. (I may have gotten myself a pirate's wench costume that I plan to wear. Should the costume work out, I may post photographic proof on my Tumblr page (whimsicallyenchantedrose)). By the way, the promo flier in this chapter is almost word for word what my church sent out with the invitations (the band they're hiring, however, is not named the Dwarfs!) Anyway, my church's gala was just begging to be made into a CS AU!
-I didn't get as much accomplished in this chapter as I intended. I did manage to introduce most of my characters (except a certain pirate captain we all know and love!), but I had hoped to have a scene from Killian's point of view (and explain how exactly he fits into all of this) as well as my scene from Emma's POV. Well, fellow obsessive Killian fans, never fear. Our favorite pirate is forthcoming in the next chapter!