Tweet Dreams
By Jemmiah
"…And I'm sure it will prove adequate. Thank you."
Anakin allowed one ear to train itself on his master's voice as he strolled over to the window of their hired room. The view from high above was utterly stunning; looking down upon beautiful tall burgundy palms and ferns judiciously planted into neat, symmetrical rows. The sky was bathed in warm golden sunlight which instantly reminded Anakin of Tatooine, and the time spent fixing up bits of junk in Watto's shop, and his mother…
He pushed the thoughts aside. Obi-Wan would surely remark upon his distracted thoughts, and frankly Anakin could do without a lecture on focusing on his present task. Besides, it wasn't really so very like Tatooine: the fact that people actually went to the resort on Calanir rather than avoid it like the Hutt-ridden plague marked the difference between the two planets. People tended to 'find' themselves on Tatooine. Usually not by choice. Besides, the heat on Tatooine tended to bake the atmosphere and everything around it: even the air smelled scorched. Calanir was pretty darned hot, but it was humid too. Anakin found himself running his fingers between the fabric of his tunic top and his sweat covered shoulders, disliking the clinging feeling as the material stuck to his skin. He could tell that Obi-Wan was equally uncomfortable even if he had the sense to dress in his traditional cream and beige and thus deflect the sun light rather than absorb it.
It didn't stop him from melting, though.
Outside Anakin could see the most amazing aerial display. Birds of a shocking, garish pink shade swooped and soared amidst the branches of the tall trees. They twisted in the air with a perfection that even put Toms Yarrel's acrobatics firmly in the shade, and Anakin instinctively found himself drawing closer to the window to get an even better view.
That is definitely impressive. Anakin found himself thinking, a smile forming on his lips. Right now I wish I were a bird, instead of cooped up in here. I guess Obi-Wan would think the same…except for the flying part. No, on second thoughts I don't think Obi-Wan would make a good bird. Unless you could nail him to a tree…
The birds ended their display by perching together on one high up branch, finishing up by shuffling on-mass along the line in a comic sort of walk. Anakin's smile became a grin; convinced he could quite cheerfully spend the whole day enthralled at their avian rituals.
"It's pretty here." He found himself saying, casting a final appreciative gaze over the scenery. "Much nicer than the usual places we get put up in. Admittedly one bedroom is smaller than the other and doesn't seem to have a window. Normally they give us the smallest, dingiest of rooms imaginable! I think they expect that as we're Jedi our minds should be on higher, more important things rather than notice that we're up to our necks in unlaundered bedding and floors that haven't been cleaned in years…"
Obi-Wan looked away from the droid valet and spared the view a cursory glance.
"It's certainly comfortable." He agreed cautiously, as if expecting his admission to bring the walls crumbling around his ears, or the ground to open beneath his feet. "However we are not here to admire the scenery, pleasant as it undoubtedly is. We have barely an hour before the talks are scheduled to start."
"I know." Anakin sighed, his shoulders sagging. "I just wish it wasn't so warm! The air conditioning doesn't seem to be working in here."
"There's your answer." Obi-Wan turned to the droid valet, who regarded him impassively through its yellow photoreceptors. "It's not through any high regard the Calanirites have for the Jedi. They had one room left - with all the extra's thrown in. Including the faulty air-conditioning."
"The fault has been reported, sir." The droid stated in bored monotone. "Estimated time before the fault is rectified stands currently at two days and five standard hours."
"When we shall hopefully be heading back to Coruscant." Obi-Wan replied with an amused smile. "I dare say we can do without the air conditioning this once."
Anakin nodded. "There's always the window. The top part seems to open…"
"Opening of windows isnot permitted." The droid almost barked, surprising both knight and padawan. "Ice can be obtained from the refrigeration unit downstairs in the kitchens if it is required." It turned its strangely withering gaze back to the astonished Obi-Wan, who was in the process of shrugging his arms out of his long cloak. "Will that be all, sir?"
Anakin returned his gaze to the spectacular view, noticing that the fluffy pink birds seemed to be lining up for another round of formation flying.
"Those birds are incredible." He pointed down towards the trees. "I've never seen anything like them before. What kind are they?"
The droid snapped itself rigidly to attention as if Anakin had managed to bring up a rather touchy subject.
"They are rats!" It declared roundly, brooking no argument on the subject. "Flying vermin! Vrelts with wings! Do not waste your time praising them. Extermination is too good for them!" And then, as if almost as an after thought, added; "New towels have been placed in the bathroom, sirs. Good morning!"
It spun on its axis, leaving its head facing the two Jedi whilst its body marched pompously towards the door. Not entirely certain what he had done to deserve such a rebuke, Anakin's brow knit itself firmly into an Obi-Wan style frown. He was used to lectures from his master, but when robotic 'lifeforms' started growling at him it was probably time to start wondering if there was a reason.
"What did I do?" Anakin blinked, holding his hands out in a 'it wasn't me' gesture.
Obi-Wan pulled off his boots and finally allowed himself to survey the room. It was indeed spacious and comfortable just as Anakin had said, but the heat was going to prove uncomfortable, especially if the windows weren't supposed to be opened at all. The vehemence in the droid's voice did not suggest that it was a rule worth breaking. Knowing their luck the temple would be informed of such an infringement.
"The talks." Obi-Wan tried to steer the conversation back to a more relevant area.
"What about them?"
"We have a little over fifty five minutes. Whilst I don't expect them to last long I suggest we prepare for them."
"You prepare for them." Anakin replied, and turned back to his cheerful collection of feathered friends. "I'm getting a feel for our surroundings."
Obi-Wan stared unwaveringly at Anakin. "Very well. If you are sure. You can smile at the birdies whilst I…"
"What?"
The master launched himself headlong towards the bathroom.
"Whilst I take first turn in the shower!" He grinned, sensing Anakin's annoyance as the door was firmly locked behind him. From inside he could hear the padawan grumbling loudly about the length of time Obi-Wan spent in the bathroom, using up all the hot water. Except this time even the cold water would most likely be hot…
Forty nineminutes later a pristine looking Obi-Wan Kenobi and a still tousled and damp looking Anakin Skywalker vacated their apartment in anticipation of a day filled with negotiations, facts, figures and very little good will on the part of those involved in the dispute. As far as Obi-Wan was concerned the best they could hope for was that the talks would be over quickly. The worst scenario was coming home to an apartment filled with no fresh air and virtually no water.
As far as Anakin was concerned, Obi-Wan's skills in diplomacy would have the whole, boring affair rapped up within a matter of hours, when they would be able to return to their comfortable room and beautiful view.
And open window.
"Ten hours!" Anakin groaned. "I don't believe they went over the same ground for ten pointless hours!"
Obi-Wan refrained from saying anything, even if he could sympathise with Anakin's impatience on this occasion. There had been times during the talk where he'd been convinced both protagonists had deliberately held off from finding a resolution just to pointedly irritate their Jedi helpers (something he might secretly admit had worked). Stubborn, unbending and unerringly unwilling to see the other point of view, Obi-Wan had left the meeting feeling disappointed by the protracted nature of the talks. Mace Windu had made it sound like a walk in the park. If this was the case then Obi-Wan could quite cheerfully inform him that the park was filled with deadly mantraps and snares to test the patience of even the greatest of Jedi…
"I need to get some rest and clear my head." Anakin groaned, running a hand against his overly long padawan hair cut. "The only way I can face more of the same tomorrow is having gotten at least nine hours of undisturbed sleep…"
"And Qui-Gon used to callme a slug." Obi-Wan observed wryly.
Anakin sighed, wishing he could find within himself the same level of patience and concentration that Obi-Wan seemed to bring to every ponderous negotiation he was asked to take part in. It was perhaps his largest - no, his only - fault that he was prepared to recognise. In many ways his skills were equal, if not greater, than those of his mentor, yet he couldn't abide being bogged down in the excruciating minutiae of rules and demands and counter-demands. In this respect there were few in the order that could match Obi-Wan's patience. As Toms had quipped with a cheeky grin, he had the most boring master on Coruscant.
And it had been said as a compliment!
"I'm not being a slug, master." Anakin reached the door of their room and keyed in the combination. "I just think that it would be wasteful not to make the most of the generous hospitality offered to us by our hosts. If we have to suffer on their behalf then we can at least do so in comfort. And I intend to start right now by heading straight to bed…"
The door made a gentle whirring sound as it eased back, allowing Anakin to step through the doorway without so much as a thought. He closed his eyes in relief. He didn't care if Obi-Wan disapproved of his lack of regard for the continued talks first thing in the morning. They'd both worked damned hard, and were tired as a result. Yes, even the unstoppable Obi-Wan Kenobi was fatigued: Anakin could sense it. He wasn't the only one whose brains had been fried by the pointless bickering and striving to find an amicable solution. So tired was Anakin that he suspected he would be asleep within minutes of his head touching the pillow…
"You'll have to negotiate your way past the feathers first." Obi-Wan's voice from beside him snapped his eyes wide open once more.
He looked about him, and everywhere there was chaos. Pink feathers blew around the room propelled by a draft from the open window. At least thirty pairs of beady black eyes met the dumbstruck Anakin, whilst to the left of his shoulder he could sense rather than see Obi-Wan folding his arms, distinctly unimpressed.
"Either these birds have perfected breaking and entering," Kenobi said dryly, "or you opened the window. Didn't you?"
It wasn't so much a question as a statement of fact. But given the overwhelming evidence against him Anakin could understand Obi-Wan's disgruntlement: the once luxurious room was covered from head to foot in pink feathers and evil smelling bird guano which seemed to coat virtually every surface as far as the eye could see. And then there were the birds themselves. For a moment Anakin, Obi-Wan and the thirty plus birds simply stared at each other. Then Anakin made a lunge for the window, and all hell suddenly broke loose.
With a deafening rush of wings and panicked cawing each one of the birds (save for one that was sitting comfortably in the fruit bowl) launched itself into the air, whirring around and around in search of the nearest escape. The more unsettled they became, the more mess they inevitably made. Feathers rained down on the two Jedi, along with a substantial amount of bird mess.
"Oh, terrific." Obi-Wan rolled his eyes, before diving behind the couch for cover. "And I'm the one with the alergy to bird feathers..."
Anakin looked distastefully down on the large splattering that smeared his dark tunic, then dashed over to join his master behind the couch. When he'd anticipated a restful evening this hadn't exactly been what he'd had in mind…
"I think we know why the droid insisted we didn't open the window." Anakin laughed feebly.
"And your master plan just now was to open it further?" Obi-Wan raised a single eyebrow.
The padawan scowled, and dabbed at his white-streaked tunic with the corner of Obi-Wan's sleeve. "I was trying to get them out!"
"By scaring them?"
"I had to get them up in the air in order to persuade them to move to the window." Anakin's chin jutted obstinately. "Unless you thought they would obligingly waddle down the stairs to reception…"
Obi-Wan looked far from happy but refrained from any further rejoinders, judging the circumstances to need positive action rather than his trademark sarcasm. Risking a peek at the swooping mass of pink above him the master found himself wincing as several of the birds flew into the window rather than through the open gap.
"Maybe they'll all stun themselves." Obi-Wan suggested hopefully, narrowly avoiding the same bombardment his padawan had received. "It would make our task somewhat easier."
"And then what?" Anakin frowned. "Throw them unconscious out the window and watch them fall like stones?"
The pair of them groaned simultaneously. This was not turning into a good day.
"Look," Obi-Wan suggested after a moment of racking his brains for a solution, "We'll both push the window wide open with the force and then we'll try and herd them out…"
"What," Anakin screwed up his face, "are theydoing in here?"
"Roosting." Obi-Wan shrugged. "No wonder they're not popular with the staff. Winged vermin, remember? Rats with feathers? Waiting for their chance to set up home inside the building…"
Anakin half-closed his eyes. "They're, er…in your bedroom, too." He swallowed, feeling the weight of Obi-Wan's gaze upon him. "Sorry, master."
For the second time in as many minutes Obi-Wan decided to bring some of his much vaunted diplomacy to proceedings instead of making matters worse with an ill-placed remark, tempted as he was. He simply stood up, sighed, flicked the window open with a slight force nudge of his fingers and with a sweeping movement of his arms gathered the birds up into an arc…
Then neatly deposited them through the open sections of the glass in the same way a Gabali player might thrust a puck into a net.
Anakin poked his head above the parapet that was in reality the sofa.
"You missed one." He pointed to the nesting bird in the fruit bowl.
Obi-Wan stood, hands on hips, and surveyed the mess. Then he uncharacteristically swore.
"I really am sorry, master." Anakin offered with genuine contriteness. "I…I didn't think. The room was so hot and stuffy without the air conditioning. I think it would have been pretty much unbearable if the window hadn't been opened. I really didn't expect the birds to set up home in our rooms!"
Kenobi nodded. The truth was that out of curiosity he might well have been tempted to open the window himself. Not that he was about to admit it to Anakin.
"Well," he offered at length, "there's no point crying over spilled Bantha milk. What's done is done. We'll get rid of the ones that have flown into my room and then we'll start cleaning this…" He allowed his blue eyes to travel the length and breath of the room, "Rancor pit. There's no use in complaining, Anakin." Obi-Wan warned his padawan. "I don't like it any more than you do. But we cannot leave this for the droids to clean up."
"It's what they do!" Protested Anakin.
"It's whatwe do. Picking up other people's mess and trying to find a solution to the problems left behind. And it applies equally well to bird mess as it does to politicians and disputes. So let us hear no more of this and make a start before it dries into the carpets…"
Anakin listened to the flapping from within Obi-Wan's room and groaned. There wasn't even a window in there from which to eject them. He really didn't fancy the idea of searching for cleaning materials at this time at night. Or trying to pick up all the thousands of feathers adorning the place. Or scraping the muck off the work surfaces with a knife…
"I suppose," Anakin hesitated, "you'll be wanting to swap rooms, seeing as how this is my fault."
Obi-Wan didn't so much as look at Anakin as past him, as if seeing something that Anakin didn't think he would like. He knew that expression of old: the one that told him has master had somehow managed to out-think him even although it seemed initially impossible.
"No." Kenobi shook his head firmly. "I don't think that would be fair. You can have the bigger room with the window. I said that you could, and I believe in keeping my word. Although I may require your assistance in helping tidy my room up, seeing as how I imagine it's more or less in the same state as this one…"
Anakin clapped his hands together and finally manage to persuade the lone straggler to abandon the fruit bowl and fly off to join its friends. Obi-Wan didn't seem as cross as he'd anticipated at first, which was good because he didn't think he could stand an evening with his master moping round the place like a Nexu with a sore head.
"And what are you going to do whilst I am tidying your room?" Wondered Anakin, wiping his bird-fouled braid with a cloth.
"Taking another shower." Obi-Wan glanced down at his crumpled Jedi garb before facing Anakin once again. "I should advise you to do the same once you've finished in here." He paused outside the fresher room door before adding with an enigmatic smile; "Now you understand that nothing in this galaxy is for free. Not even the pretty views."
Anakin could have hit his head repeatedly off the wall. Once he'd finished in the living area he'd have to start on Obi-Wan's room. And once he'd finished Obi-Wan's room he'd finally be able to crawl into bed…only to have to get out of it almost immediately again when it became daylight.
"Kriffit." Cursed Anakin.
He couldn't sleep. Anakin tossed and turned…and then turned some more. And it wasn't through any guilty conscience, either. It wasn't because he'd inadvertently let the birds in. Nor was it because he was in the better room with the nice view whilst his master was in the second, smaller, stuffier room with no view except for the four walls.
At first he'd thought he'd imagined it, half-asleep as he was. Part of his brain (the bit that was refusing to co-operate before daylight) had decided that it was an audio-hallucination, if there was such a thing, brought about from fatigue. Then the slightly more lively part of his mind insisted he not dismiss the force's promptings so readily and bade him pay attention.
He'd listened to the repetitive and increasingly loud tapping against his bedroom window for the past three hours. He'd watched the shadows cast against his wall by the eerily twisted bird shapes lined up along the ledge. He'd tried valiantly to put the pecking out of his mind and banish the mad cawing and flapping taken straight from some fantastical horror holo, as what appeared to be hundreds of feathered creatures swarmed around the firmly closed skylight, tapping to get in.
Why? What were they hoping to achieve other than to keep him awake at night? If he didn't know any better he could have sworn that they were in league with his master.
It was this thought of Obi-Wan that finally allowed the pieces to fall into place. What had he said? "Roosting?" By letting the birds in to set up home in their rooms he'd allowed the beak-sporting villains to think they had a new crash pad to bring up their offspring…and now they wanted back in! And if the talks continued indefinitely without any significant progress then Anakin was going to get very little sleep! What made it all worse was that he could have sworn that Obi-Wan had worked it all out. Why else had his master been so keen to take the secondary bedroom without the window?
Anakin didn't know whether to admire or curse Obi-Wan's deviousness.
"This could go on for days!" Anakin groaned, grabbing the pillow and throwing it over his face. He was sure that Obi-Wan would say there was a lesson to be learned from every situation, but the only thing that he had taken from the evening's events was never to underestimate his master, the man who was probably at that moment dreaming the dreams of an untroubled soul…
Through in his own room Obi-Wan turned over on his side and grinned; his smile the only thing that lit up the darkness. Briefly he wondered if it was worth trying to drag the talks out as far as they could…but even his devilish streak didn't extend that far. Well, Anakin had been the one who had admired the birds. Now he was getting to see them up close.
Obi-Wan closed his eyes.
"Tweet dreams, Anakin." He murmured into his pillow.