This is my first NCIS fanfic... please tell me what you think! Constructive criticism is always welcome.

And of course, I do not own any of the characters or the show...unfortunately.

Ziva's Point of View

It had been four long months here in Somalia. I had gone into this mission recklessly, knowing that I would die. I knew it was a suicide mission, but my loyalties were being questioned. Did I answer to Mossad, or did I answer to NCIS? If it was before I came to Israel, I would have answered to Gibbs. I trusted him more than I trusted anyone, but I had also thought I trusted Tony and that got me nowhere except for having him kill the one I loved. The one I loved? Did I really love Michael? I wasn't lying when I said I would never know.

But after I was left in Israel, I had no one to trust besides my father. He agreed to send me on this mission, for the greater good. I had no objections. After all, what did I have to live for?

So I went with the group, thinking that I'd be dead within the couple of weeks it took to reach Somalia. I was not expecting to be taken alive and questioned about NCIS. At first I held on to the last bit of loyalty I did hold with NCIS, trying not to tell them anything, willing them to just kill me. I did not reveal any big secrets, but I did tell them a bit about the people I work with, giving them false names and such. It wasn't enough. The torture continued for months.

I had plenty of time to think about things. I thought a lot about my father sending me on such a mission, of how he would not even send a rescue mission for his favorite daughter. I thought about Gibbs leaving me at the tarmac, and how betrayed I felt. He did not betray me though. His loyalty to Tony was stronger. He trusted Tony, and I believe he trusted me, but Gibbs does not stand for trust issues among partners.

I thought about Tony a lot. All about our past. How he did not exactly like me at first, as he was hurting over his lost partner Kate, but our friendship grew. We got closer. Our trust built along with unspoken feelings for one another. I had no doubt in my mind that he was jealous of Michael. Part of me was mad at him for just not being happy for me. I felt as if he was silently saying, "I know I can't have you, but if that's how it's gotta be, no one can." It was infuriating. He was simply trying to block my happiness. So yes, when he killed Michael, I wanted nothing more than to shoot him. But sitting here, in this dark, damp room, I can't help but wish that I could see Tony one more time. Tell him I'm sorry, because I am. When I came home to Mossad, I learned the truth about Rivkin, and I knew that Tony was right. That he was just trying to protect me. But I stayed in Israel because of my damn pride, and because even though I knew then that Tony had been right, I was still violently mad at him.

…

Saleem entered the room. My stomach long ago stopped clenching with fear. I was now incapable of feeling any real emotion. He would do whatever he wanted and I could only have a little hope that he would kill me after. He put a hood on my head, which was normal whenever they moved me from room to room. We walked into a room, and I got a strange feeling that we were not alone, but it wasn't the feeling of Saleem's men that troubled me. It was the feeling of a lack of his men. I knew this when he started speaking in English.

"Questions are being asked in town about missing NCIS agents. Concern that US forces might mobilize. One of you will tell me the identities and locations of all of the operatives in the area and the other will die. I will give you a moment to decide who will live."

A million thoughts raced through my mind in that split second between those words and when my hood got taken off. NCIS agents. There were NCIS agents here! Why? Please don't let it be anyone from my old team. I do not want to be responsible for anyone's death. But I had a sinking feeling in my gut for the first time in months.

The hood got ripped off of my head and all of those emotions that I have been void of came rushing back to me. Sitting in front of me was Tony.

"Oh. How was your summer?" he says. Still making jokes, such a DiNozzo move.

I could just stare at him. "What are you doing here?" I ask, incredulously. "I couldn't live without you, I guess."

"Then you will die with me." I say realizing with a tinge of sadness.

When Tony told me he had an escape plan, I couldn't help but feel just a bit of hope, but it was such a little bit. I am ready to die. There is nothing left for me at home.

"You have 30 seconds to live Saleem." I stare at Tony. What is he talking about? He can only tell the truth, but that cannot be the truth. The bullet comes shooting through the window all of a sudden. McGee jumps up and rushes to Tony, cutting him loose. Then for the first time in months, I am cut loose and they both grab a hold of me and we rush out the door.

To say that I did not feel any amount of relief when I saw Gibbs standing there, and he said the words, "Let's Go Home," would be a lie. I did feel relief, but it wasn't for myself. It was for Tony and for McGee. I did not want them to die because of me.