Welcome to the start of Season 3 of my stories surrounding Sam and Dean and Jen. If you are a current reader, welcome back, you rock, skip on ahead to the story.
If you prefer to avoid spoilers and would like to read what happened previously on your own, please check out my stories It Was the Year of Fire and It Was the Year of Great Sadness (in that order) to read about how Sam and Dean's world is a little different when Sam's best friend from Stanford, Jen, ends up along for the ride. She's not much for ghost hunting exactly, but she's always there when someone needs a sympathetic ear or a shoulder to cry on. There's more than that going on with her, but I don't want to give anything away if you are going to read those. If you just want the summary now including spoilers, and then check this out, keep reading.
The skinny on Jen: yes, she was Sam's best friend at Stanford, and even lived with him and Jess at the end, but she wasn't there by mere coincidence. Jen is an Earth Spirit or benevolent Goddess, and part of a contingent of similar beings that watch human events, and give personal aid and advice, but never interfere in conflicts and never kill. Jen was assigned to the Winchesters many years ago when Mary made her original deal, but after spending so much time with them, they are even closer than most friends. For a long time they didn't know Jen was anything special or different, but she revealed herself to try and talk Dean out of his deal, which, as we know, didn't work. Now, she comes and goes as she needs to, but she's never far away and can always hear when the Winchesters call. Her kind would like to see less death and destruction on the planet, and believe that these brothers are an important key, so Jen remains with them, helping however she can, even though that's very little, and this year, knowing Dean has an expiration date, will be the hardest one yet.
By the way. I may include spoilers for any season of Supernatural even though these are written to take place in and around certain episodes since I wait until the end of the seasons to write them.
Sam was still in a state of disbelief over the terms of the deal that Dean agreed to. He had assumed that they would be able to find a way out of this. He had spent most of their quiet week before the appearance of the Seven Deadly Sins going through the books, finding useful bits of information, taking it all pretty well, considering. But now, knowing that Dean won't even help him, Sam wasn't so sure that he could handle this.
He looked across the motel room at his brother. Dean sat on the bed flipping channels on the television. Dean looked happy and he had said that he felt good. Sam couldn't understand it, especially since Sam felt like he was being torn apart from the inside every time he looked at Dean. Still, he didn't want to burst Dean's bubble, at least, not right now. He had to get out of there for a little while.
He jumped up and grabbed his coat. "I'm gonna take a walk." Sam managed to make reasonably audible as he walked out the door. He hoped Dean wasn't going to follow him. So far, so good, and after a few minutes had passed, Sam was certain that Dean was going to leave him be. He didn't know where he was going or what he was doing, but he knew it was away from Dean's apparently hopeless situation.
Sam was walking down the streets of the little town they were in. The streets were empty, shops closed. A wind whipped across him, and, although it wasn't cold, Sam shivered. Then he heard footsteps. They were light and quite a ways behind him, but they appeared to be slowly gaining. Sam tried to ignore them, imagined they were just some late-night inventory taking shop keeper. Soon, the steps stopped gaining, and began walking in pace with him. Now, Sam was uncertain and a bit nervous. He readied himself for a confrontation and spun around.
As he spun, the figure stopped and looked at him. Then, she smiled.
"Jen!" Sam gasped in relief.
"Hiya Sam."
Sam stood frozen for a moment. Jen's ability to suddenly appear and disappear was still a little disconcerting. Still, she was Sam's best friend and his sounding board, and just seeing her brought everything he was dealing with immediately to the surface. A fire rose in his chest and tears stung at his eyes. He didn't want to fall apart in the middle of the street and he looked at Jen, silently begging her to figure something out.
Jen walked up to Sam and looped her arm in his. "Come on. There's a bench up here, we'll sit." Sam followed mindlessly, allowing Jen to lead him and soon they were seated in a small alcove surrounded by bushes. "It's safe here." She said.
Sam barely waited to sit down before he began speaking.
"How could Dean make a deal like that? How am I supposed to watch him die and not even be allowed to do anything about it?" The tears were already beginning to spill over and down Sam's cheeks, but he held on trying to explain himself, even though he knew Jen understood. "I don't think he even cares, and especially not about how I feel. I don't know what he thinks I am supposed to do now, but I am not just going to sit back and let this happen." Jen's hand was already rubbing Sam's back, and he leaned forward dropping his head into his hands, his voice falling back to a whisper. "I can't just let this happen. I can't."
With Sam's anger released, the only thing left was the crushing sadness which overtook him as Jen wrapped her arms around him easing him toward her. Sobs shook his body, as the world around him melted away and all he heard was Jen's soft "shhhh" in his ear.
The sobs slowed, but the ache remained. Sam pulled himself to sitting upright again and wiped his face.
"God, this sucks. This really, really sucks." He turned to Jen. "I'm not even sure I can be around him. I mean, knowing he's going ..." Sam paused, the word catching on the lump in his throat.
Jen reached to cup Sam's cheek and turned him toward her, her clear, dark eyes gazing right into his swimming green ones. "I'm here with you, Sam. Anytime you want me. I don't even have to be visible to Dean, but I can be there. Okay?"
Sam attempted a weak smile, and then wrapped his arms around Jen and held her tight. As she returned his hold, Sam couldn't seem to help as he sobbed softly once more into her shoulder, though it remained dry no matter how many tears fell. This time, Sam was exhausted quickly, and still holding on when Jen whispered to him.
"You should get back,"
Sam sat up and his eyes pleaded with Jen. "Come back with us?"
Jen smiled. "Yes, I'll come back with you."
The return trip to the motel was quiet and Dean smiled at Jen when she followed Sam back inside. As she took her old seat in the chair in the corner of the room near Dean's bed, he raised his eyebrows at her.
"Staying the night?"
Jen shrugged. "Yeah. Why not?"
Dean tried to appear uninterested in her decision to stay, but Sam could tell his brother was glad she was there. Sam pulled his blankets up over him, glancing once more at Jen in the corner. He wished she could just fix everything that was wrong, but even though he knew she couldn't, he also knew he would sleep better knowing she was there.
Dean did not necessarily sleep any better. Even though he tried not to think about it, the small fears about Hell were already taking a grip in his subconscious and they formed into a dream about fire and demons and being unable to escape.
Dean woke up in a cold sweat.
Jen was there. Sam had asked her to stay, and she had apparently decided to take his request seriously because she was still in her chair in the corner as Dean looked around the dark room.
Dean paused for a moment awake in bed, sitting up. Jen slid her chair over by his side, like she used to do before he knew she could come and go at will.
"Are you okay?" Jen asked.
Dean shrugged. He thought it was kind of silly that she asked. She could read minds, right? It's not like she didn't know what happened. Still, he sort of appreciated that she still cared, sort of. Dean didn't really want to think about it all right now. He knew that he should just forget about it. He had a long time to go, this was not the time to worry.
Dean rolled over away from Jen and shut his eyes. He felt her hand gently rub his shoulder as he drifted off.
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