I wanted to see if I could properly write Bella and Edward and this is what came out…
Not sure of the timeline, it's before Edward agreed to change Bella, and I guess they're off school for Winter Break in December.
The cabin is one of the many houses that the Cullens own. The family came here to enjoy a different hunting ground and invited Bella along to spend her vacation outside of Forks. The Cullens have gone out hunting and Edward stayed at the cabin to be with Bella…
"Bella, what are you thinking?" His words were barely audible in the black of night. I sighed at the window and watched the warmth of my breath create a soft fog across the glass before being overcome by the cold. "Isabella, please…" Even after all this time the silence of my mind was still physically painful for him. I moved from the window and as I crossed the room he shifted his position to accommodate me. I slid down into his stone embrace and he began rocking us back and forth as he stroked my hair.
"I don't know what I was thinking, just random stuff I guess."
"What is 'random stuff' exactly?" He smiled as he slid his hand down the length of my arm, raising a path of gooseflesh.
"How many days until we have to go back?" As I said this I gazed around the enormous room, finally resting my eyes on the brilliant Christmas tree illuminating the entire length of the wall.
"Is that what's bothering you? Relax Bella; we still have plenty of time. Besides, we can always take an extended vacation, so really, we can stay as long as you like." He toyed absently with my hand, gently pulling at my fingers and intertwining them with his. I watched our hands together and marveled at how amazingly lucky I was. I was sitting in the lap of the most gorgeous creature on this earth, and not only did I adore him utterly and completely, but he seemed to reciprocate those exact feelings. Unfathomable. "You've been so quiet today, I thought you were just tired. But if you're bored we can certainly leave earlier than I'd planned…" I wasn't about to let him finish…
"No! I don't want to leave early! I want to stay here with you!" I was suddenly terrified at the thought of leaving what had become our little piece of frozen heaven. For the last week this cottage had been an icy fairytale, just Edward and I, lost together in what was truly a winter wonderland. His family was here as well, but I had hardly seen them; only catching a glimpse when they came back to the cottage to get new clothes before going out to hunt again. Carlisle said that an unusual migration path had come their way and they didn't want to miss out on any of the 'fun.'
"Well I guess that answers that," he chuckled. "What's wrong then? You've been too quiet today, there has to be something that's bothering you." He lifted my chin to meet my eyes. "Tell me. Whatever it is. Tell me."
"Well," I didn't even know how to begin, we had flirted around the edges of this discussion for months and I had never even come close to actually saying the words out loud. After a few seconds of chaotic thought I gave up and lowered my eyes to stare at the button on his shirt.
"Yes?" He encouraged, lifting my chin again.
"If I wanted something, would you give it to me?" I thought this would be the best way to start; perhaps his insane love of doting on me would soften him to my request.
"Something you want? Of course I would give it to you. Anything. Everything. All you have to do is ask Bella." His eyes were glowing eagerly, I imagined he was running through the possibilities of my request in his mind, but he wouldn't guess this one.
"I want…well…I was wondering if maybe…if we could maybe…revisit a previous discussion." That didn't even make sense to me, but it was all I could come up with without actually coming out and saying it.
"What discussion?" He was smiling, but I could tell he was being cautious, waiting for me to surprise him with something impossible, no doubt.
"Well…the discussion about me…being like you." It came out as only a mumbled whisper but Edward's sensitive ears heard every word as if I had screamed them at him. He was instantly tense and his hands left my wrists where they had been running up and down the length of my bluish veins.
"Bella no. You know it's out of the question. Why do you keep pushing this when you know that I have to say no?" He sighed as he leaned his head against the back of the rocking chair and closed his eyes.
I knew it was a bad idea and I silently loathed myself for bringing up the subject yet again. There was no use in trying to reason with him when he wouldn't even look at me. I began to feel awkward as I sat uncomfortably now in his lap, his arms no longer holding me, but instead grasping the arms of the rocking chair perhaps a little too hard. His head was still lifted toward the ceiling with his dark lids closed. As I sat there I could feel emotion behind my eyes. I wasn't mad, but embarrassment and rejection was sinking in and the harder I tried to banish the irrational feelings the stronger they became. Finally I felt tears begin to form and I hurried to wipe them away before they could come out with full force. Of course Edward focused his attention back to me the second that I moved my hand.
"Are you crying?" He sounded almost as if he were in pain; like someone was cutting off his air supply and he couldn't breathe.
"No," I lied trying feebly to remove the pathetic moisture. He caught my hand and without breaking his gaze on my face he leaned to lick the back of my hand. As he tasted my tears he looked like he was savoring the most exquisite flavor. He put a hand to my face and brushed away a new tear that was sliding down my cheek with his thumb. He glided his hand to the back of my neck and pulled me to rest on his shoulder.
"I'm sorry Bella," he whispered in my ear, "I always seem to hurt you when I'm trying to keep you safe." His free hand wrapped around my waist and pulled me closer still while he heavily breathed in the scent of my hair. "Ask me for something else. Anything else, and I'll happily oblige." He said this as he began to rock us back and forth again in slow lazy motions. "It will be Christmas in a couple of weeks, tell me what you want, anything at all and it's yours."
I leaned my head against his marble chest as he rested his cheek on the top of my head. "I feel like I'm ten."
"Pardon?" He raised his head and gave me a quizzical look.
"I'm sitting on your lap, we're in a rocking chair, there's a Christmas tree in the corner and you want me to tell you the presents I want."
"Ahhh I see," he sighed, resting his cheek back on top of my head, "and I suppose that would make me Santa Claus then wouldn't it?" he mused.
"Well you're not exactly jolly…or fat…or old."
"Not old? How long must one exist for you to consider them old Bella?"
"But you don't look old…that's what I meant."
"And you don't look ten, although you're certainly not old by any meaning of the word."
I sighed and melted to the shape of his chest. "But I will be, soon enough I'll be too old to be with you. I might as well die."
"Bella!" He scolded me in a whisper, "How could you say that? What a terribly desolate place the universe would be without your presence."
"Whatever." I knew he was teasing me now. In a minute he would successfully change the subject and be careful enough to never bring up another opportunity for us to return to the discussion.
After a few minutes of rocking in his arms my leg slid to touch the floor and I shivered at the sudden cold. I felt and heard Edward catch his breath as I trembled against him. It always amazed me that simple things like that could earn such a reaction from him. I had sneezed yesterday while we were outside and he almost went into a frenzy. It took me several minutes to convince him that I wasn't having some sort of seizure. But it was his over protectiveness of me that was part of the reason that I loved him so much, even if it did prevent me from making any progress on my dream of immortality. I knew in a moment he would pull me away from his icy body so I pressed myself to him even harder, but of course it didn't work and our bodies separated as he lifted me up and carried me to the bedroom.
He set me down gently in front of the bathroom and handed me my pajamas and my bag of toiletries. "Thanks, I'll only be a second."
"I'll be waiting." He spoke so reverently that it made me catch my breath. He was staring into my eyes and I couldn't help the lump that was rising in my throat. I was getting nervous. Of course we wouldn't do anything, but he had said those words with meaning and it made me shiver. "You're cold Bella," he whispered without taking his eyes off mine. "Go get warm, and then come back to me."
I didn't know if I could keep breathing and he wanted me to walk? Somehow I managed to look away from his smoldering eyes long enough to breathe. "Okay…" I turned around and stumbled my way into the bathroom, bumping into the doorframe and dropping my things on the counter top. I heard Edward's soft laughter as I closed the bathroom door and wondered fiercely what he was thinking about.