Disclaimer: Not mine. Damn.

Author's note: In answer to the HBX Challenge of January and February 2009. Set in the beginning of season 10. All mistakes are mine. Enjoy!

Jump-start

The beach was full of people. Some she knew, some she didn't. It didn't matter, her focus was on one specific person.

He was walking around on the soft sand, shirtless (her favorite top on him), trying to organize a game of volleyball or something. He was talking animatedly with the people around him, laughing and gesturing this way and that.

She was standing under the shade of the trees that lined the shore, in her brown bikini, enjoying the heat, the shade and the ocean-scented zephyr that blew around her. She took in the scene before her with pleasure. It was heartwarming and fun and amusing all at once.

Then his gaze was cast her way and she stilled in the breeze. It lingered for no more than a second, but it felt much longer. He went back to interacting with friends and she found herself slowly walking into the sunlight towards the action, shading her eyes against the warm rays in order to see. In slow, measured steps she neared him. Everything else remained in the background. She vaguely identified Keeter, Bud and Harriet in the background, giving her sideways glances, but they didn't catch her attention.

Harm finally seemed to notice her closing the distance and to her pleased surprise, trotted over to her, effectively cutting the rest of the picture out of her conscious mind.

"Hey, Mac!" His grin was infectious. "What're you doing here?"

It didn't occur to her that she wasn't supposed to be there and she was too caught up in his smile to be concerned with how his question made her feel. She simply shrugged and smiled back at him.

Suddenly the skies grew grave. Grey clouds were heading towards the shore, carrying dread in their depths. Harm was turning more somber himself. The angry, dark blue ocean tumbled and roared in his eyes and there was a sinking feeling in her stomach in response.

"How about you try to be more sensitive and I'll try to be less, huh Mac? I'm just trying to help you with your problem!"

Tears stung in her eyes at the look he threw at her. She would not cry. "You know what, Harm? It *is* my problem. Mine!"

She turned from him and stalked away, up and towards the trees. Heading for the shade, the darkness, her safe corner, all the while tears were slipping down her face.

-----

Mac awoke with a start, and then, remembering the dream, heaved a sigh of frustration and turned over to sink a fist in the pillow. Wiping away the wetness from her cheeks she lay down on her stomach, breathing in the clean smell of her sheets and searching for a calm she didn't posses. Not anymore.

Harm was being so sensitive these days. Maybe too sensitive… And she felt like crap for turning him away all the time. Sometimes she felt as if she was cutting herself away from her own life and the people in it, but most times she just couldn't be bothered with caring.

But obviously, her inner self was dissatisfied, as it kept bombarding her with dreams such as this, this last one being more obvious than the dreams before it. On the one hand she was having a hard time with Harm pushing her when she wasn't ready, but then she couldn't afford staying holed up in her little space and locking out the important people in her life. Maybe if she tried to be more sensitive, Harm wouldn't have to be less and it would all work out for the best.

She flipped over to her back and stared at the ceiling. Something had to be done.

-----

'One day at a time', Mac reminded herself as she walked through her door, 'I'll take it one day at a time'. And today was a good day to start counting. She'd met Harm in court first thing in the morning and his easy smile helped her settle the unease that lingered from the Harm in her dream. Filled with a spirit she hadn't possessed in a while, her court appearance was brilliant (if she did say so herself) and she managed to win the case, despite Harm's admittedly admirable attempts to undermine her.

Of course, this gave her the wonderful opportunity to offer lunch as her treat. It was a lunch to remember.

So now, having passed day one of the rest of her life accomplishing more than she expected, she entered her apartment with a content smile on her face, ready for a quiet, relaxing evening.

Her pumps were already shed and her uniform top already in her hands as she walked into her bedroom to hang it up, then stopped dead in her tracks at the doorway.

"Hi, hon!" Harm lifted his head from the book he was reading to flash a wide grin. In a faraway spot in her mind, she logged that he seemed very much at home and not at all embarrassed, even though he was sitting bare-chested in her bed. The rest of her mind was otherwise occupied.

"Wha-" for some reason it was hard to form words. "Harm?"

"That's my name, don't over use it." He was still grinning at her. "Unless we're both horizontal and alone," he dropped her voice to a velvety murmur, "then you can use it as much and as often as you like..." he threw her a meaningful wink, and finally she blinked herself back to the land of the thinking. She thought, therefore she came to the only plausible conclusion.

"What're you doing...? Harm... did you hit your head again?" Concern overtook confusion.

A frown crossed his handsome face as he rubbed the back of his skull. "Now that you mention it..."

She strode over to his side, tossing the uniform top on the bed and proceeded to try and get a good look at the back of his head. "Does it hurt? Did it bleed-"

Suddenly she was unceremoniously pulled down, to land in Harm's lap, his face mere inches away from hers.

"You want to kiss it all better?" He whispered thickly and Mac's world shrunk till it comprised only of him and the fierce beating of her heart. She bit her bottom lip and her eyes held the answer that her lips could not articulate.

She caught a brief smile on his lips and felt his hand move strands of hair away from her jaw before he cupped it softly. Their lips touched tenderly, parted, then met again, this time for a deep and all-encompassing kiss. Harm pulled her closer and she took the opportunity to trail her hands up his torso and to his neck. As his arms found their way under her shirt, she buried hers in his hair.

Mac broke away abruptly and swore under her breath.

"What's the matter?" Harm asked breathlessly, as he brought her face up and saw the tears welling up.

"You really did hit your head didn't you?" The shock from falling down from the heights of passion to the depths of reality left her unguarded.

"What are you talking about?"

She would've gotten up and away from his unintended tenderness, but she couldn't muster the mental or physical strength. "You hit your head, Harm, you don't know what you're doing! Why else would you be sitting here on my bed, kissing me, when I've been pushing you away for the past month? I am such an idiot." She hung her head.

"Mac, I have no idea what you're talking about," he lifted her face once more, "besides, I can think of plenty of reasons for me to be sitting here on your bed, kissing you..." He waggled his brows at her and leaned in to kiss her again.

She broke off the kiss before it really started and this time propelled herself off the bed and away from him.

"Harm! I felt the bump on your head! You don't know what you're doing!" The tears were threatening to break out, but she held on tight. She had to get things under control; she had to ignore the pain for now, just until she figured out if Harm needed actual medical attention. She whirled back to him, focusing on assessing his condition.

Now it was time for Harm to hang his head. He shook it from side to side and for some reason it seemed like he was chuckling. She frowned. When he looked up at her a moment later, it was with a sardonic smirk. Her frown deepened.

"While I can appreciate why you'd think I'm not in my right mind, acting like this, I can assure you that the specific bump you're referring to has been there for quite some time." He stood up to face her, took a step in her direction. "Which you would have known, had you taken the time to kiss me like that before." He raised a brow.

Shock penetrated her features, yet she stood speechlessly still.

"You see, I had actually planned this." Harm spread his arms at his sides in way of explanation. "This was me dropping the kid-gloves and for once doing exactly what I wanted to do, when I wanted to do it." He took another step towards her.

She stood her ground, but her mind was catching up with his words and questions were filling her mind. "Why-" she didn't know how to finish the question.

Harm shrugged. He was now standing right in front of her. "I figured maybe if I jump-started the entire thing, we'd forget all the why-not's and the baggage and just focus on the fact that we belong together, Mac." He slowly slipped his hands around her waist and tried to catch her gaze. "And it seemed to work there for a moment..."

Mac looked up at him in wonder. "You thought you could jump-start..." the corner of his mouth lifted in a sheepish smile. 'So he let himself into my apartment, sat half naked in my bed, and called me hon.', she thought to herself. Despite it all a chuckle came forth. "You are so convoluted..." She said in a loving tone, her hand reaching up to find the aforementioned bruise.

"Hey, easy on the compliments, I may take it wrong." He laughed with her, before silencing them both with a long, slow, meaningful kiss. Leaving her mouth, he drew her in for a hug and rested his temple against hers. His soft words floated to her ear. "Now try to tell me how something that feels so right can be wrong..."

Mac drew back to look him in the eyes. "I can't." She smiled. "I won't." His warmth was melting her walls and any reason she might've ever had to evade his embrace was forever lost.

Her hand moved to trail fingers across his cheek, trace his jaw, climb his nose and fall to his lips. Harm kissed her fingers, then tilted his head to one side in askance. Mirroring his soft smile, she moved her fingers back to his hair. "Just making sure it's you..."

He kissed her soundly. "It's me, I'm here and I have no intention of going anywhere anytime soon." She nodded her head in understanding, acceptance and thanks, but despite her best attempts she couldn't manage to swallow down the one thought she didn't want to voice out loud right now. It's been reigning over her mind for far too long to stay in the corner.

"What is it, Mac?" He could count on his fingers the number of times he'd been able to read her like a book. Thankfully this was one of them. When she didn't answer right away, he led her back to the bed, where he sat down against the headboard and drew her into his arms.

"Harm. I still can't..." She had to pause to swallow down the lump in her throat, and Harm chose to interrupt.

"Mac, this is the exact reason I wanted to jump-start us. We have a lot of things to deal with, a lot of baggage and misunderstandings and heavy issues to go through... and we will." He paused for breath and emphasis. "But not right now." She visibly relaxed in his hold and he chuckled softly.

Mac kissed the underside of his jaw and inhaled his scent. "You make a very compelling case, counselor." She rubbed her nose against his neck before planting another kiss followed by another, leading up to his ear. "I love you." She whispered softly and then found herself flat on her back, one brilliantly smiling sailor pinning her down.

"I love you so much, Sarah." He stated before proceeding to kiss the breath out of her.

"This is really happening, isn't it?" She asked in wonder when they parted for breath.

He raised his brow; he didn't know her to be this unsure before. Then again, neither of them had ever let their guard down this much before. "It is. This in not make-believe, Mac... though I will agree it will probably have much of the same ending..."

His smile rivaled her wariness. "Oh yeah? How do you think this will end?" She tried to calm the butterflies in her stomach as she waited for his reply.

"And they lived happily ever after!" He beamed with all the enthusiasm of a 4 year old on Christmas.

Her laughter wrapped around them and scattered about, airing out the room and ridding it of the lingering shadows that had ruled it for too long. It was time for the princess and her knight to have their fairytale ending.

-----

The end.