This stems from a stupid tumblr convo I had with attoseconds at like 2 in the morning. It sadly doesn't lead to actual smut because that's not an ability I have but I hope I managed to capture the partly sexy but mostly humorous vibe I was going for.

Warnings: Cursing, Sexual Innuendos, Implied Sexual Content, Alcohol Consumption, Intoxication

Iris finding out that Barry is the Flash went a lot better and a lot worse than he expected it to. On the upside, she didn't break his nose, on the downside she spent a good half hour telling him off for every time he had lied to her in the past several months. Once she'd run out of things to yell about she had sat down at the bar and ordered two shots (to the amusement of the bartender), downing them one after the other in one go.

Eddie went over to stop her, shooting Barry a look when she ignored him and instead ordered two more. The speedster wished in that moment that he had the ability to get drunk for more than a few seconds, but instead walked over to the bar and resigned himself to his fate. He sat next to the scowling reporter and grimaced at Eddie over the top of her head when she refused to look at him.

All three of them were silent for several long minutes as Iris finished her shots and thankfully began nursing a beer rather than ordering another round (Barry distinctly remembered her being able to knock them back when they were in college but it was always amazing to see that she was still stable on the rather high bar stool after guzzling that much vodka). He shifted uncomfortably in his chair, unsure if he should apologize one more time or wait for her to make the first move. Before he could come to a decision however, she set her beer down with a sigh.

"Fuck me," she groaned, rubbing her eye, "I want to be so fucking pissed at you- and, I mean, I guess I am mad but, ugh." Barry shot a wide eyed glance at Eddie who shrugged helplessly.

"I think you may be drunk already," the blond said, reaching out to take the beer from his girlfriend's hand. Iris yanked it out of reach with a scowl.

"I'm perfectly sober," she told him with a roll of her eyes, but how heavily she was leaning on the bar said otherwise, "But really, I want so badly to stay mad." She turned back to Barry, glaring at her best friend. "But, you're so fucking cute? Like who the hell can stay mad at that face?" Eddie made a sly grab for the bottle again and she turned her glare on him instead. Barry was too uncomfortable about the anger to really be happy that Iris had called him cute. "And you, it's the same fucking way. Why are you both so freaking pretty? To be honest, you should both just make out. Like right now."

Barry choked on air, his eyes bugging out as he stared at Iris. She was completely unconcerned by his reaction, instead taking another drag of beer and then staring at the swirling contents with a pout. He could barely bring himself to look at Eddie, who was slightly flushed and a whole lot embarrassed by the comment. The speedster was unable to process anything, feeling as if his mind had shuttered to a stop. A blush was growing on his neck and he could feel it spreading to his face, warming his ears.

"Iris," Eddie said, breaking the tense silence when he saw that Barry wasn't going to. She rested her head in her hand as she gazed at him.

"Hmm?"

"Why?" he asked, trying and failing to articulate a better question.

"Why not?" Iris responded with a lazy shrug, "It's not like you guys don't practically eye fuck every time you're in the room together- it's pretty obvious you wanna bang each other."

"We do not!" Barry protested, finding his voice at last. She scoffed in disbelief. "We don't!" he said again, turning to Eddie for reassurance. The blond held up his hands in surrender, looking nervous.

"You kind of do," a voice suddenly said, and the two men turned to see the bartender wiping out a pitcher, "Sorry guys, but the lady's right." His tone was anything but apologetic and Barry found he could do nothing more than gape in shock at him. Iris gestured at the bartender enthusiastically.

"Thank you! See, he agrees with me! Even innocent bystanders can see it! There are literally no downsides to you two going at it," she told them triumphantly.

"But, Iris," Eddie tried pleadingly but she didn't let him finish.

"Donchu worry about me, to be quite honest, I think it'd be kinda hot," she confessed, trying to speak quietly but failing miserably. Lucky for her (or really, lucky for Eddie and Barry), the rest of Team Flash were wrapped up completely in a game of pool across the bar, and their group was the only one in the bar that night (the metahuman attack must have scared the other customers off, Barry later realized). "Seriously though, I can personally testify that Eddie is freaking a-mazing in the sack, for serious, Bear, you'd be missing out," she told him, wiggling her eyebrows at her best friend as Eddie oscillated between embarrassment and the pleased grin that twitched in his lips, "And Barry is a human vibrator- are you telling me you don't want to take that for a spin?" She directed this at her boyfriend with a lewd grin.

Barry was mortified. Eddie, on the other hand, had perked up and was looking at him a sudden interest that made the speedster extremely uncomfortable. He dropped his head into his arms with a groan, unable to handle Iris's pleased grin or the detective's inquisitive gaze.

"Can he really?" he heard Eddie ask, causing him to groan again.

"Mhmm," Iris hummed happily, "Every part of him."

"Every- is that true?" Barry knew that the question had to be directed at him this time, but he refused to pick his head up to actually meet anyone's eye.

"Just ask Liinnndaaa," she sang, coyly and free from bitterness. If the situation had been different, Barry would have been happy to hear the lack of jealousy in her voice (Iris kept saying she needed more friends at the station), instead it just made him sink down further.

"Oh, really?"

"Guys…" he moaned and Iris giggled.

"From what she told me, well…" she trailed off and Barry risked a peek at the pair, only to realize that she had been waggling her tongue at the detective. Eddie made an impressed sound in the back of his throat much to Iris's delight and Barry's horror.

"Iris!"

"I know, I know, I'm a genius, right?" the reporter grinned at her best friend, "Seriously though, after Lin told me that I was like 'I've got to try that out for myself'- and look how nice I am, sharing the wealth with my bf." By this point, Eddie had clearly moved on from being embarrassed to just being amused by the whole situation. Barry found this to be rather disheartening, especially considering that Iris's smile was getting more predatory by the minute.

"I really don't know about this-" he tried again, wanting to run but feeling like he couldn't. He was glued to his seat, either by mortification or some disturbed fascination that he'd rather not think too hard about- he wasn't sure. Iris leaned in closer to him, practically draping herself over him. He froze- not even realizing until that moment that he'd been vibrating- but now he couldn't bear to move a single inch.

"Barry, Barry, Barry," she sighed, one hand tapping his opposite shoulder playfully, while the other rested lazily on his thigh. He tried to shift away, but instead she just clamped her hand down. The pressure was actually rather light for her, but his breath hitched anyway and her grin sharpened.

"That's it," Eddie sighed, finally intervening much to Barry's relief. The detective grabbed his girlfriend by the waist and pulled her away from the speedster, hauling her all the way over to his lap. She had yelped when she was grabbed but decided not to protest when she realized she was firmly seated on her boyfriend. Her gaze flickered down for a moment before she grinned slyly up at him.

"Well fine," Iris relented, tossing her hair over her shoulder, "If you're not going to kiss him, I will." Eddie didn't have a chance to react as she grabbed his shirt and reeled him in, catching his startled shout with a kiss. He was frozen for a moment but she wasted no time in deepening the kiss and he soon surrendered, closing his eyes.

Barry was torn between relief and something much more terrifying. Finally, the attention of the couple was off of him- he could make his escape without being stopped! (Or at least marshal another failed attempt at getting blitzed out of his mind.) Despite this, he couldn't bring himself to do either. He was too entranced by the sight before him; he could barely bring himself to look away.

Every time he tried, his eyes kept getting drawn back to the way Iris's body curved into Eddie's or how she lifted herself up just barely in order to dominate the kiss. Eddie's hands were grasped firmly on her waist, fingers just barely slipping beneath the hem of her shirt. Barry felt the blush that had been present since Iris had first opened her mouth intensify, making the room seem entirely too warm and he had to get out of there-

"What's wrong, Bear?" Iris asked as she pulled back from the kiss. Barry couldn't help but notice how Eddie breathlessly tried to follow. Her grin was almost playful but there was an edge that wasn't there previously. "Are you jealous~?"

The speedster hated how out of sorts he was that night, as not for the first (nor likely the last) time was he so flustered that he couldn't bring himself to speak. Eddie was looking at him with an easy and disheveled grin, looking properly wrecked while Iris continued to smirk at him, raising her eyebrow tauntingly.

"Well?"

"I- Iris, you know I'm fine, I told you I was supportive of the wholethingwhywouldyouaskthat-" he sputtered out, his speech increasing as she continued to grin at him. He cut himself off, unwilling to let himself dig a deeper hole and chanced a glance at Eddie instead. This was a terrible idea.

Eddie had caught onto her game by now, and was sitting there with his own mischievous grin. Barry's eyes flicked down, and he realized that Iris's skirt was riding up (and when had she turned to straddle him? He hadn't noticed that before), revealing more leg on Iris since the last time they went to the beach together, right after they graduated from college. Eddie had moved his hands so that they were splayed out on both of her thighs, anchoring her to his lap as his thumbs stroked the skin just beneath the hem of her skirt. Barry's eyes were now focused on the path of the blond's fingers, and when Iris leaned closer to the confounded speedster, his grip tightened ever so slightly.

"I never said you were jealous of Eddie," Iris grinned, her tongue poking out just barely from between her teeth. She looked more sober than she had all night, her grin becoming more predatory as time went on. Barry felt faint and was itching to run but he was still glued to his seat.

"But I'm not…" he trailed off as Eddie leaned forward to kiss her just beneath her jaw, all the breath leaving his longs at once. He stopped breathing. He wrenched his gaze from the pair and turned, looking for an escape route or help or something, but instead found the bartender giving him two thumbs up. Well, he definitely wasn't getting a tip.

"Barry," Iris practically hummed, "Are you alright?"

"I'm- I'm fine," the speedster told her unconvincingly.

Eddie, having seen the bartender's reaction, took pity on his coworker, "Maybe we should take this elsewhere."

"Hmm, you're probably right," Iris hummed, pushing herself off his lap and landing unsteadily on her feet, "You coming, Bear?"

"I don't think that's what Eddie meant…" Barry replied, past the point of disbelief.

"Of course it is!" she assured him, "Come here." With alarming strength, she pulled him off of his seat and practically threw him onto Eddie. The detective managed to catch him before he slid off, and Barry found himself uncomfortably close to the blond man. They stared at each other in an embarrassed silence, ignoring Iris egging them on beside them, waiting for the other to make a move.

Finally, Barry did something that was incredibly stupid. He made the first move.

He wasn't sure what compelled him do it, and he wished he at least had alcohol as an excuse like Iris did, but unexpectedly (to both himself and Eddie) he threw all caution and nerves to the wind and kissed Eddie. It was different from what he was expecting, and he'd never kissed a guy with facial hair before (the soft scrape against his face was something he could get used to). The kiss was over too fast, Eddie pulled back with flushed cheeks and a grin that could power the Eiffel Tower. Barry could feel that his own smile was just as big.

"What did I tell you?" Iris sang from beside them, causing Barry to duck his head into Eddie's shoulder, unwilling to meet her eye. "Now come on, it's getting late and we need to get out of here like yesterday. Pretty sure there's a rule about not fucking on the bar."

"Iris," Eddie groaned, covering his face with the hand that wasn't still pressed to Barry's neck.

"She's not wrong," the bartender told them with amusement, "But it also seems like it's time for her to hit the hay."

"Oh, I plan to hit something," she replied with a leer, causing the bartender to laugh. The detective sighed, and nudged Barry reluctantly, signaling for him to pull away so that he could stand up.

"It's definitely time for us to go," Eddie agreed, pulling out the wallet so that he could pay for the drunken reporter's drinks. Barry moved over to put a supportive arm around Iris as she wobbled in her heels.

"My hero," she giggled, leaning heavily into him. He rolled his eyes at her, feeling more relaxed than he had all night.

Barry was still on edge, but the kiss has been a catalyst. He felt wide awake and was almost thrumming with excitement. Maybe it was because it no longer felt like he was just being messed with by a drunk Iris or maybe he felt like some hidden part of him had finally been validated- honestly, he didn't really know.

"Let's split this popsicle stand," Eddie proclaimed as he fell into step with the pair, tucking his wallet back into his pocket. Iris snorted and hid her giggles in Barry's shoulder. The speedster couldn't fight the grin that was threatening to appear on his face. A giddy laugh burst forth when Eddie rolled his eyes at the pair. "You can't go a day without making a Flash pun- you aren't allowed to judge me."

"Whatever you say," Barry snickered.

They made it back to Eddie and Iris's apartment rather quickly, considering that Iris was only just regaining sobriety and had somehow convinced them to stop for ice cream at a 24 hours coffee shop. An easy cheer had settled over the trio but by the time they actually reached the door it was being replaced by a crackle of tension.

As Eddie unlocked the door, Iris had snagged Barry by the collar and had pressed him against the wall, kissing him forcefully. He was quickly overwhelmed by the cold hand she had snuck underneath his shirt and the taste of chocolate that mixed with the strawberry that already clung to the inside of his mouth. Eddie looked as if he was content to watch them kiss the night away but had to break them apart so that he could usher them inside. Iris gave Barry one more searing kiss before disappearing into the dark apartment.

"Do you think she's sober enough to use the restroom without hurting herself?" Barry asked, trying to hide the nervousness that had been creeping up since they had entered the apartment building.

"I think she'll be fine, if not I'm sure the loud cursing will tell us otherwise," Eddie responded with a fond grin. He stared at the speedster for several seconds before he couldn't seem to bear it any longer and leaned in to kiss him. Without any thought, Barry twined his fingers in the blond's hair, eliciting a moan from the older man. This caused him to tense up, surprised by the sound.

Eddie pulled back, keeping his forehead pressed against Barry's and encouraging the speedster to maintain eye contact with him. They were quiet for a moment, the only sound interrupting the silence being the water running in the bathroom and a muffled curse when Iris runs into something.

"Barry, you don't have to do this if you don't want to," Eddie said finally.

"What?" the speedster asked breathlessly.

"I know both Iris and I were coming on really strong back at the bar, and that Iris all but dragged you back here, but if you don't want to do this you don't have to," he told the younger man earnestly, "You seem uncomfortable."

"No- I- I want this," Barry admitted, "I don't think I realized how much until just now. It's a bit nerve wracking. But I do, I mean, I do want this." He clamped his mouth shut before he could start rambling, embarrassed. Eddie was smiling brightly at him, and he leaned in to steal another kiss.

Unlike the other kiss, this one started off sweet, but it didn't take long for Barry to decide to throw caution to the wind and deepen it. Eddie made a surprised sound in the back of his throat, but grabbed Barry's hips to draw him closer. The blond made another sound when he felt the tremors going up along Barry's body, and realized that the speedster was vibrating.

"I see you're getting started without me," Iris said, leaning against the doorway of the living room with a smirk on her face. Barry jolted, and would have fallen backward if Eddie hadn't had a firm grip on his waist. When the speedster turned to look at his best friend, his eyes popped.

"Did you manage to get out of that skirt without breaking anything?" the detective asked with an amused grin.

"Just my dignity- I may still be a little drunk," she admitted, waltzing into the room clad only in a camisole and her underwear (which Barry realized were so shear they didn't really cover anything).

"After the number of shots you downed I'd be surprised if you weren't," Eddie told her.

"It's irreverent- irrelevant, whatever, what I wanna know is why you guys are out here, when you could be in the bedroom?" she asked, jerking a finger behind her with a raised eyebrow. She didn't wait for an answer, instead turning and heading back into the hallway with a flick of her hair. Barry wasn't always great at catching signals, but the way she was swaying her hips was something even he couldn't miss.

"We shouldn't keep her waiting," Eddie told him, breaking him out of his trance.

"He's right! You better hurry up!" Iris called out from the other room. Barry let out a huff of laughter, and took a deep breath, allowing himself to relax.

"It's now of never," he agreed, and before the detective could respond, he was scooped into Barry's arms and sped into the bedroom.