Hey guys! You can decide whether you want to read this author's note or not.
After watching SHR, I nearly lost my mind with grief. I still have not been able to move on but writing this has helped me cope with my PDD (post drama depression). I hope my readers find this comforting as well.
I want to say that I purposely decided not to include Chae-Ryung in this. I also honestly did not want to include Wang Won and only did so because he was one of the princes. I found their whole relationship toxic and was not a fan of them at all.
I've been working long and hard on this and really wanted to post it on the 29th of August, as it was Scarlet Heart Ryeo's One Year Anniversary but unfortunately, did not finish it in time. Please go easy on me if I got any details of the Korean culture wrong. I am an international fan.
*** I realized the scene with the lake "Dongji" was a bit confusing. I hint that the lake was "recreated", meaning So purchased this particular piece of territory and had the lake house/cabin rebuilt to look exactly like Dongji. The location is not actually Dongji, but a man made, splitting image of it. So had this rebuilt during the months after he regained his memory for the purpose of proposing to Hae Soo there.
**I did go back and edit this scene so it's a little easier to understand.
I'm considering writing an epilogue but am not totally convinced yet.
This is my take on what I think would happen if Hae Soo and Wang So were to meet in modern time.
One can only wish.
Please read and review! I'd love to hear your opinions
Disclaimer-I do not own Scarlet Heart Ryeo or any of its characters.
Wang So was every bit as wise, bold, and brutally honest as he had once been while living as the Fourth Prince of Goryeo. So held the same indifferent, carefree attitude-firmly believing that one should always do whatever it takes to reach his goals, even if that meant stepping over people to reach the top. Hae Soo would eventually influence his way of thinking a second time, coaxing his more defensive, predatory instincts into hibernation in order to strengthen his good traits-loyalty, compassion, and patience.
To his mother's dismay, the young entrepreneur was in charge at the South Korean headquarters of LuaSo located in Seoul. His every move was smart and precise, always benefiting him almost as much as it benefited the company. His image represented the company and according to tabloids, was an obvious sign of favoritism on his father's part. After all, the former head of Seoul headquarters-eldest brother Wang Mu-had been promoted to vice president recently, second only to the founder Taejo.
His older brother, Wang Yo, was granted the task of recruiter. He traveled from one foreign country to the next, presenting informational speeches and providing demonstrations. Already, the LuaSo computer operating system had become immensely popular and greatly demanded in Great Britain and Canada alone. As sole leader of the marketing business, Yo should have felt worthy and proud. However, due to their mother's constant nagging, his biggest fear was to be stuck in the same never ending limbo. He was afraid he'd be unable to progress past his seemingly permanent title of marketing director and unable to surpass So, who, despite being the younger of the two, was quickly creating a favorable reputation for himself.
Despite the fact that he and his first wife were divorced, Taejo and his family led a happy, loving life-at least, according to the magazines. To the public, Taejo was the perfect family man. His ex wife and his new wife were the best of friends. Oh Soo-Yeon was known as the brilliant secretary who had charmed her way into her boss's heart. She often joined Dowager Yoo and her three sons for dinner and outings. Unable to have any children, she loved Wang Jung, Wang So, and Wang Yo as her own.
If only reporters were to uncover half of the truth behind the Wang family, there would be scandalous stories to write about for days. The scandals would undoubtedly ruin Taejo Wang Geon and put an end to his company. Therefore, his lawyers developed an agreement that would keep the family's dirtiest secrets hidden. Everyone agreed, although some hesitantly, bound by a signature and a handshake. Everyone, that was, except Yoo, who only scribbled her name on the documents after having set her own conditions-She would continue to be maintained by Taejo, allowed to spend riches to her heart's content.
Dowager Yoo was a cunning, bitter woman who arrived everywhere in unnecessary glistening limos to match her elegant high heels, fur coats, and sparkling jewelry. She loved the spotlight and was often seen posing for paparazzi. Taejo considered her the company's biggest threat and sought all means to keep her happy and quiet.
Wang So could see his mother's influence negatively affecting Wang Yo. He was no longer the witty and passion driven teenager he had grown up with. Now, he always seemed anxious, somber, and on edge. Because So and Jung had taken their own paths, Yo alone was burdened by Yoo's solidarity and need for revenge.
It had taken him a long time to understand this, but So finally realized that none of the Wang brothers were to blame for his mother's crazed behavior. Eventually, he no longer felt resentment toward his mother and his mother's favorite son. In fact, So felt a mix of sadness and pity. His mother's wounded ego and inability to express her emotions had led her to deflect her hatred toward her middle son, who had been present during her most vulnerable moment-thereby creating a strain that could never be mended.
Two decades later, Wang So still remembered every detail of the night that would change his life forever.
Unable to sleep because of the thunderstorm brewing outside, a young So had slipped from his room. He'd expected everything in the large house to be dark and quiet. Instead, he'd walked in on a scene he could never forget.
His mother, wrapped in a satin nightgown, was red faced and hyperventilating. His father stood some feet from her, his briefcase and suitcase sitting next to his feet. He held a clipboard and a pen in his hand, which he held up in an attempt to protect himself when Yoo began to throw items at him. Within minutes, the whole living room was trashed.
"You mean to tell me that the tabloids were true?!" His mother shrieked. "You only married me because of my family's good name?"
"Please, Yoo. Stop this now." Taejo looked tired and defeated.
"No! I will not sign the divorce papers!"
"I have...another family."
At this, Yoo put down the elephant sculpture she was holding.
"What did you just say?"
"There are two children. One is 4 years old and the other is 7."
Her next whisper was menacing. "Do you mean to tell me that you've cheated on me this whole time?"
"I deeply regret those times I met with Hwangbo. The children weren't planned. I stopped being romantically involved with her long ago and only recently found out about the children's existence. I am not with Hwangbo, nor do I want to be with you. You know very well there is another woman who owns my heart."
So's mother's lips curled into a nasty grin. "Your tramp secretary Oh Soo-Yeon does not compare to me. Neither does the mother of your two bastard children."
Suddenly grabbing hold of the elephant sculpture once more, she tossed it at the nearest window. At the sound of glass shattering, five year old Wang So cried out. At once, Yoo turned to him.
His mother's eyes were cloudy with fury. She wore a crazed, unrecognizable expression.
Before she had time to react, So turned around and raced up the stairs, back into the comfort of his bed where he lay crying until the sound of rainfall lulled him to sleep.
The next morning, Yoo had refused to meet his middle son's eyes. So never told a soul what he had witnessed. Still, from that night on, his mother looked at him with distaste and bitterness, refusing to direct toward him any motherly affection or kindness as she did with Yo and Jung.
Only some months later, he and his brothers were taken to his father's office where two children and Taejo were waiting. The small girl was wearing a pink lace dress. She stared at them with wide, wondering eyes, half hidden behind Taejo's knees while clutching the older boy's hand.
"Come here, boys." Taejo gave a small sigh and discreetly waved away the bodyguard who had escorted them. He took the small girl's hand and gently pushed her in front of him. Crouching down to their level, he positioned himself between the two rows of kids who were eyeing each other warily, then turned to the three brothers.
"I'm sure you've noticed I've been spending less time with you." He began.
Indeed, Taejo had moved out of their home altogether. He no longer spent any time around the house, instead taking them out a few times a week.
"Your mother and I are not together anymore."
A three year old Jung whimpered sadly. Taejo wiped away his tears.
"I still love your mother, just in a different way." Taejo continued in a soothing voice. "And of course, I love you three very much. I always will. However, there are two very special people I want you to meet. I love them just as much as I love you. You are all family. Children, meet your brother and sister Wook and Yeon Hwa."
From then on, the Wang brothers frequented secret visits with their new siblings under the watch of Taejo. Alongside their cousins Wang Baek Ah and Wang Eun, who lived near them and were often invited to tag along on their trips, they all quickly became the best of friends. So and Wook were often the serious, parental figures of the group, having been forced to mature rather quickly due to personal circumstances. Despite this, Wang So did his best to get along with everyone and was particularly fond of Jung and Baek Ah.
Growing up, he had studied martial arts next to Wang Jung. Although his mother eventually declared his flourishing friendship with the youngest brother a threat and had him sent away to study abroad at age 15, he had continued practicing and returned three years later having mastered the French and German languages of Switzerland along with martial arts, which he'd decided was a natural talent of his. So was extremely talented in self defense despite his suave, well polished exterior.
One night after his return, at their distant cousin Wang Won's 21st birthday party, the youngest of the Wang brothers locked themselves away in one of the house's large rooms with bottles of rich soju, taking shot after shot until they were all flush faced and giddy with drunken laughter. It wasn't until So, Wook, and Yeon-Hwa had found them that they'd sobered up, nervously trying (and failing) to spit out excuses.
At last, Baek Ah had raised his glass in a languid manner, clever as ever even in his drunken state. "Let's not spoil this night of family bonding and instead enjoy the moment." He beckoned with his other hand. "Have a drink."
Yeon-Hwa fanned her face, stunning in an ivory, curve hugging dress. "What uproar there would be if the paparazzi found out the fabulous Yeon-Hwa is an underage drinker..." Smirking as if she suddenly found the prospect even more appealing, she marched across the room and snatched Wang Jung's glass, downing it in one gulp.
The boys erupted into cheers as So and Wook also settled in beside them.
An hour later, they were taking turns at the karaoke machine, giving their own off key renditions of popular songs. Wang Eun did his best impression of IU's high pitched, breathy voice during his performance of Palette and his brothers giggled madly but danced around him encouragingly.
Wook was slumped next to So, his eyes glazed over after his many glasses of alcohol.
"Do you really consider me your brother?"
Caught off guard, So blinked repeatedly. He tore his gaze away from Yo, who was now taking his turn at the mic. "Sorry?"
"Do you any of you truly recognize Yeon-Hwa and me as your blood siblings?" Wook's speech was slightly slurred and So wondered how long the question had been on the tip of his tongue, whether it would have ever been said aloud if not for his state of intoxication. "Sure, Yeon-Hwa became one of the biggest idols in K-pop industry. I graduated from college and opened up my own law firm thanks to our father. Still...sometimes I feel bitter. He's stowed my sister and me away, has hidden our true identities from the press. As if we were nothing more than bastard children, as if we were something to be ashamed of…"
"Hyung-nim." So put emphasis on the word while he rolled his empty glass between his hands. "I understand why you would feel that way. I won't make any excuses for our father. I will say that his life revolves around the media and his company so he has worked hard to keep his record spotless. Yet, despite his age and success, he has much learning to do about life, don't you agree? Undoubtedly, the truth will come to light someday. It always does. As for the first part.." So caught Wook's eye, pouring a glass of soju as he spoke. "We grew up together, Wook. Perhaps not in the same household but your presence is as comforting and familiar to me as is Jung's and Baek Ah's."
Wook offered a rare smile and met his glass with So's outstretched one.
"To our brotherhood."
My soul has waited
all of these lifetimes
to find yours;
My arms will understand
if they must wait
a few more
to hold you.
-Jessica Katoff
"I'm sorry I left you alone." Hae Soo whimpered. Unable to look at the painting of the solitary king Gwangjong any longer, Hae Soo dropped to her knees, her sobs echoing inside of the gallery. "I'm sorry."
Her tears went on and on. She crossed her arms around herself, as if in doing so she'd be able to lessen some of the overwhelming pain that was consuming her small body. It was a feeble attempt.
Painfully aware of her pumping heart, she came to a realization. She was breathing again...She'd been given another opportunity. Yet without Wang So, was there any meaning to this new life? How could she continue to live as Go Ha Jin-a young, soft hearted and naive twentieth century girl with immeasurable debt stacking up as she lay there and wept? She was Hae Soo from the Goryeo Era, defiant and courageous, and she had managed to win over the heart of the widely feared 4th Prince.
How could the world continue around her as if everything were okay? How was it possible for everyone to go on with their daily routines as if Hae Soo hadn't just undergone a most shocking revelation of memories?
Sensing a presence, she looked up. A man stood some feet from her, extending toward her a folded silk handkerchief.
The man was tall, slim, and handsome with sharp features that now formed a small, concerned frown. He was donning modern clothes (a turtleneck tucked into a matching coat and dress pants) and his dark hair fell in waves over his brows but the resemblance was precise.
Hae Soo did a double take.
For one split second, his hair had been long and twisted in an updo that covered his left eye. The overflowing coat had transformed into a billowing Jeogori of Goryeo. Hae Soo blinked and the vision was gone.
"Wang So?"
1 year later (2017)
Since So was nearly always being followed and monitored by paparazzi, he was still cautious and astute with his words when being interviewed and preferred not to have his pictures taken without his consent. However, he had chosen not to keep Hae Soo a secret. There were endless pictures of them together-walking her dog, eating ice cream, attending Yeon-Hwa's concerts with linked hands. His favorite photograph had been captured by paparazzi, unbeknownst to them. They were reading each other's favorite books, both sprawled across a picnic blanket at the park, and Hae Soo was nestled under his arm.
He'd met Hae Soo at a gallery one summer ago. She'd been bawling her eyes out, half passed out on the floor of the hall dedicated to the Goryeo Era. So had been on his way back from a failed blind date he had been fooled into attending by his father. Taejo was intent on seeing all of his sons married off before the age of 25 and because So's birthday was quickly approaching, Taejo was antsy- pulling strings so that So kept running into women at every corner, all of them suspiciously interested in him so he was forced to run off in the other direction.
Seeing Hae Soo lying on the floor had peaked his curiosity and alleviated some of the fury that was rising at his father's attempt at playing Cupid. Despite her swollen eyes, she was breathtakingly beautiful. Perhaps, the most beautiful woman So had ever laid eyes on. Maybe it was her glistening large, doe like eyes or the lashes that framed them, or the way her hair bounced down her shoulders in silky waves, framing her like some sort of halo. Whatever the reason, Wang So had felt, for the first time in his entire life, sucker punched and at a loss for words. He was overcome with a strange wish to comfort her and had led her to a private room nearby, remaining patient even as she took to look at him in unusual stages, first confused, then emotionless, finally bursting into tears once again, blubbering incoherently about second chances and astronomers.
Thereafter, he'd driven her home and maintained contact with her. Text messages had led to long phone calls and eventually, the two met up. He enjoyed spending time with her, relished at the thought of seeing her tilt her head back and laugh, lived for the moment their shoulders would accidentally brush together and he'd be hit with an unexplainable jolt of electricity.
One Friday, Wang So and Hae Soo took a one day trip to Je Ju Island. Hae Soo crawled out of the water after So, spitting out her mouthpiece and pulling off her goggles while she began to recall her favorite moments of the scuba dive. She looked radiant against the sunlight and her face was alight with happiness.
Beautiful.
So had looked at her so intently that she'd stopped talking. At that moment, unable to hold back any longer, he grabbed her round the waist, abruptly pulling her close so that he was able to count each individual eyelash if he wanted to, all dripping with salt water just as her hair was. Then, he'd tilted his head down to her level and caught her lips between his. They were soft like velvet just as he'd imagined and tasted like sea salt and cherry. She didn't protest, instead melting into him with a sort of sigh and reaching up to gently caress his cheeks.
It was at that moment that his knees buckled and his world spun. He was suddenly overcome with harmony and bliss. It warmed him from his fingertips to his toes, stemming from the receptors where his lips met Soo's, filling him like a helium balloon so it left him breathless and feeling as if he were going to explode. As he held her tightly in order to keep himself from falling over, a crazy thought came to his mind.
It was like they had been made for one another, like their destinies had always been meant to cross, like the folds of his arms had been sculpted to embrace only her, as if he had waited his whole life, unknowingly, for the moment their lips would meet and they could finally be together. At that moment, he could not imagine a life without her, without her touch or her smile or her flirtatious side glances.
This must be what love is.
Hae Soo was happier than she'd ever been. Sure, sometimes she missed making soap out of scratch and practicing her calligraphy by writing poems but she had So back now and that was all that mattered. Her So-valiant, spontaneous, and loving. Wang So, but without his scar to burden him.
At least that's what she had believed in the beginning. Eventually, she had found out all about his judgemental mother who refused to accept him. It was strange, how things had also fallen into place in this time period, the way individuals had gravitated toward careers and interests that all suited them-Jung with his martial arts; Eun's unwavering love for toys and gadgets; Baek Ah's passion for all things music and poetry; Yeon-Hwa's need to become number one in the modern music industry; and Wook, finally free of his sister's greed for the throne, an advocate for civil rights.
It's true, thought Hae Soo, everyone is gifted a second chance but it is up to them to decide what they will do with it.
Yoo, as cruel as ever, had led the same life of selfishness and hate. Her eldest son, Yo, however, was not as cynical as he had once been. In fact, he seemed wary of his mother and her intentions. Perhaps it was because there was no crown to chase after... though Wang So would argue that the position of president at LuaSo was equivalent to the throne.
That brought up another of Hae Soo's concerns. She loved So, loved how he had stayed true to his ideals and personality despite having grown up in a different environment. It had taken her a while to accept the fact that they could finally be together, under different circumstances but together nonetheless.
Sometimes though, during rare moments, she felt a strange hollow when she was with So. He didn't know what they'd lived through in the palace of Goryeo, had not the slightest clue of the child she'd conceived (their child), had no idea how much of a miracle it was for them to meet again after the end of their relationship. He probably would never know of the tragedies that had occurred to their loved ones.
When she thought about this, it made her feel so lonely she could scream. She was trapped inside her own mind-awoken at least once a week by a nightmare, sweating and out of breath or otherwise having to choke back tears every time she saw one of So's relatives because they brought back terrible feelings of anguish, grief, and fear.
She was meditating on a daily basis, attempting to concentrate her anxiety and fear into one spot and then release it altogether. Slowly, very slowly, she was seeing results. But it was still unnerving to be left alone with only her thoughts for company so she kept herself busy-with So, with her twenty-first century family, with her job and her books.
Still, she wished. When it was late at night and she was having trouble falling asleep, when she came across a mug of leaf tea, that time "happy birthday" was being played at a restaurant and she nearly asked So if he remembered the time she'd sang for Eun-those were the times when she wished with all of her heart, that there was some way for him to remember everything.
Despite her longings, she knew she would be okay. Wang So kept her sane. Without him, she would more than certainly fall apart. He was, after all, the sole purpose of this second (or third?) chance she had been given. They were meant to be together. This time Hae Soo was determined not to wallow and let her happiness slip from between her fingers.
I don't know how it is you are so
familiar to me-or why it feels less
like I am getting to know you and
more as though I am remembering who you are.
How every smile, every whisper brings me
closer to the impossible conclusion
that I have known you before,
I have loved you before-in another time,
a different place-some other existence
-Lang Leav
The world looked different to So now-the sky seemed a hint bluer, the flowers a bit more colorful, and So could only find reasons to smile.
Even when they weren't doing something exciting like bungee jumping or visiting an aquarium, So took great pleasure in spending time with Hae Soo. In fact, his favorite way to pass the time was to stay the night in with Soo-watching a movie, cooking up recipes, reading books from his shelves-away from the prying eyes of the paparazzi and away from his chaotic family.
Taejo had been extremely pleased when he had met Hae Soo. His boy was finally showing interest in women. But now the Chairman was getting restless again. They'd been together nearly one year and Wang So still hadn't proposed to her.
It wasn't that So didn't want to marry Soo. He did. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with her by his side. The problem was that he didn't know how to do it. He wanted-needed-his proposal to demonstrate the immense amount of love he felt for her. It needed to be special, perfect, his. Until the idea for the perfect proposal occurred to him, he was willing to wait.
xxx
So woke with a start, hyperventilating and drenched in sweat. Taking shaky breaths in an effort to calm himself, he glanced at the clock next to his bed. It read 2:36 am. This was the 4th dream he'd had, one for each recurring night of the week. The dreams seemed to take place inside of a castle and everyone, including himself, was dressed in the old fashioned clothing of royals.
His first dream from Monday was slightly out of focus and scattered, like a video compilation of short clips. He remembered stargazing with Wook and Mu, a dance ritual involving masks and swords, sliding on a half mask to cover an angry scar, being surrounded by wolves somewhere dark and wet, galloping on a horse over long expanses of land, and admiring Hae Soo from afar, who was singing and dancing on a porch.
Tuesday's dream was more detailed. He was covered in mud and had never felt so much fury and humiliation. After rinsing off, he decided. I'm not going back out there. I won't be the laughing stock of Goryeo. Then Hae Soo was there, observing him with reassuring eyes and soft hands that burned his skin like fire where they touched his face. "To have a long, dark life because of this… is a little unfair." Flash forward-Hae Soo was pushing him away, afraid of him, and his heart was shattering.
Wednesday's nightmare-that's what they were, So had decided, since they seemed to be getting progressively more disturbing-consisted of his parents and a younger version of himself. His mother was angry. She shrieked in fury at Taejo, who was wearing a crown on his head. "Pyeha!" Yoo was restraining So as he struggled meekly in her grasp. With a knife held threateningly to Wang So, she was mercilessly using her son's life as bargain. Flash forward-he was older now and staring in bitterness again at that same scar on his face.
Tonight he'd seen Eun being murdered by the hands of his own brother Yo. Two arrows, one through his chest and another through his arm. Next to him lay a warrior goddess, also covered in blood, for whom Eun called out. An agonized whisper in So's ear, Eun's final plead, and then his own sword was slashed through Eun's chest. So's eyes were blurry with tears and his hands were stained with blood.
In real time, So forced himself to sit up and examine his shaking hands. They were clean. Eun. He felt a jolt of panic for his cousin. But no… he was safe at his house. He'd just seen Eun and Baek Ah earlier that evening.
Still...He pulled out his cell phone and dialed. After 5 rings a groggy voice picked up.
"So? Why are you calling me at this time? Is something wrong?"
Relief flooded So's body.
"No… I, uh had something to ask you."
"What is so important that you couldn't wait until the morning?" Eun's angry retort was smothered by a yawn. "I was having the best dream."
"I'm sorry, Eun." Wang So said quickly. "Do you want to meet tomorrow?"
"You must be crazy. It's nearly 3 am." Snapped Eun. "And we're already having a family dinner tomorrow. Go to sleep!"
The line went dead. All So could do was repress fits of relieved laughter.
Perhaps I am going crazy.
xxx
Hae Soo: How's the family dinner? Want to hang out once you're done?
So smiled down at his phone. He quickly opened his camera and snapped a selfie of him holding a thumbs up.
Me: I'm just getting here. It shouldn't take longer than an hour. Wait for me at my apt?
Hae Soo: (picture attached) Sounds like a plan. See you later (heart)
Chuckling, So saved the picture Hae Soo had sent of her showing off a toothy smile.
Putting his phone away, he felt a twinge of guilt. He hadn't told her about the dreams that had been keeping him awake for long hours, restless and anxious. The two were so open and honest about everything in their relationship and he usually told her everything, from the frustration he felt toward his father to the cute dog he met on the street on his way home from work.
"You coming in or what?" He received a playful slap on the shoulder and turned to look at Yo.
"You're in a suspiciously good mood." He narrowed his eyes but returned the smile and followed his older brother into the large dining hall. They were at LuaSo headquarters. His father had reserved the room just for the occasion, so that the employees working overtime had resorted to eat either in their offices or in the lounge room which consisted of large sofas and massage chairs. Taejo sponsored a family brunch or dinner at least twice a month, during which the relatives engaged in polite conversation and often feigned interest in the company's progress.
Wang So took a seat between Baek Ah and Yo, noticing that Yo had chosen the chair furthest from their mother, who was sitting on the other side of the long rectangular table set in place for the occasion. She scowled and made hand motions to beckon Yo but his older brother pretended not to notice and instead turned toward Wook, who was sitting to his right.
Gradually, the rest of the Wang family arrived and settled in until there were only three empty seats left. The dining room buzzed with chatter.
At last, Taejo and Oh Soo-Yeon arrived wearing huge sunglasses that nearly covered half of their faces, no doubt to shield themselves from unwanted paparazzi shots. They quickly pulled them off and stowed the sunglasses away, turning to the table and bowing before taking their seats at the head of the table.
"Where is Wang Eun?" Taejo's moustache vibrated in displeasure. He looked pointedly at Baek Ah, who inclined his head in a small bow and said, "We did not arrive here together. I apologize, Chairman."
At that exact moment, the double doors flew open and Eun raced in, half panting and disheveled as he clutched his side.
"Joesonghamnida," He stopped in front of Taejo and bowed deeply. "I apologize for my late appearance."
Taejo gave him a stern look but simply waved his youngest nephew away. "Take your seat so we can begin."
Eun took the empty seat directly across from Wang, shooting him a look as he fixed his bowtie and ran a hand through his wavy hair to appease it.
Taejo stood and began his usual speech. "Wang family, we are gathered here today to have a pleasant dinner and catch up on business and family matters alike. "
So observed Eun as his father droned on about the importance of family unity. Wang Eun was glowing. It wasn't his usual glow either-like when he showed someone his new invention or was awed by a newly developed gadget-he looked about ten times brighter and happier. Briefly, he wondered what the cause of this was.
"Remember, if you have any important announcements you would like to share, now is the time to do so. I will begin."
So turned his attention back to his father.
"Soo-Yeon and I are in the process of adopting a child. She's only a few months old. If everything goes the way it's supposed to, she'll be with us within a few weeks. We plan to name her Wang Chae-Yeong."
Stunned silence. Then, Yeon-Hwa spoke up. "It looks like I won't be daddy's little girl anymore. Congratulations!"
The table erupted into cheers.
"She'll be spoiled silly by her uncles." Jung cooed.
So watched his mother grip her glass of Bokbunja tightly and take a long swig.
Servers rushed into the dining room on cue and lowered steaming plates of food in the center of the table while handing out chopsticks and empty bowls.
The family ate in quiet chatter for a few minutes.
"How's Hae Soo?" Baek Ah asked.
"She's well. I'm actually meeting her after this."
"I'm glad she's doing well." Baek Ah said. "You don't look too good though. You look like you haven't slept in weeks."
So chewed on a rice cake before responding. "I haven't been sleeping well." He decided there was no point in lying. Before Baek Ah could ask more questions, he made an effort to change the subject. "How's your blueprint coming along?"
Baek Ah narrowed his eyes but didn't press him further. "I still have a lot of planning to do." He sighed. "But I have someone to help me with it now." There was a mysterious sparkle in his eyes.
"A girl?" So lowered his chopsticks. "Is she your girlfriend?"
"No." Baek Ah exhaled deeply again. "Not yet anyway. She's so complicated. But also...she's so talented. And her love for the arts is genuine. I wouldn't mind partnering up with her for this. It's a big project."
"Wang College of the Arts is out of the question for the name, then?" So raised an eyebrow. "Or will be she be okay with naming the school after you?"
"If I get her to marry me, she'll be a Wang eventually too. Then, there shouldn't be a problem."
So and Baek Ah roared with laughter.
"What's her name anyway?"
"Woo Hee." Baek Ah said softly. "I can't wait for you to meet her."
At that moment, Yo stood up.
"I have an announcement to make as well." He cleared his throat and fiddled with his fingers, a nervous gesture on his part that no one was used to seeing.
"I have resigned from LuaSo Corporation."
There was a unanimous gasp. Only Taejo didn't look shocked.
"What?" Yoo cried, slamming her glass down and splashing liquid everywhere. "Why would you do such a thing?"
Yo glanced at her but did not address her. "I've been working on a project for a while. I am finally ready to launch my own company. Although I cannot release details yet... Abeoji, I ask for your full blessing."
Taejo let out a joyful chuckle. "You have my full blessing and support, my boy. You have made your father proud."
Yoo continued to look stricken but everyone else began to applaud.
Yeon-Hwa announced the release date of her new single and handed out tickets to her next concert. Wang Won invited everyone to his 30th birthday party. The feast continued.
Wang So ate a little bit of everything, again noting that Wang Eun had barely touched any food and kept jumping around his seat like a hyperactive child.
When the dinner was nearing the end, Eun finally jumped up.
"Let's end the dinner with my announcement." He said. "There's someone I want you all to meet. A very special someone." He grinned and gave a wink.
The double doors opened and in descended a tall, fit girl wearing jeans, heels, and a flowing top.
So's throat constricted and his heart began to hammer against his chest.
"This is Soon-Duk, the girl I'm dating."
Standing in front of him was the warrior goddess from So's dream.
xxxx
Wang So punched the combination into his apartment's keypad. The door could not open fast enough for him. He stumbled inside, untightening his tie and kicking off his shoes.
"So?" A gentle voice carried from the kitchen. "I brought some of your favorite pie."
Hae Soo emerged from inside of the fridge, holding a large round dessert.
So walked up to her and wrapped her into a hug. He'd given her the combination to his apartment months ago. She spent most of her time there, despite her parents' disapproval of sleeping over before marriage.
"Are you okay?" Alarmed, Hae Soo pressed the back of her hand to his forehead. "You look pale."
She led him to the sofa and poured him a glass of cold water.
"You're shivering." Hae Soo said in a concerned voice. "Maybe you're coming down with something. Let me get the thermometer."
"No.." Suddenly, Wang So felt exhausted. Meeting Soon-Duk had been a terrifying experience, like coming across a walking corpse. He'd seen her only once before, in his latest nightmare, and she'd been sprawled across the ground, bloody and lifeless. Could it really all be a coincidence? He wasn't so sure anymore.
"Please…just stay with me." So patted the spot next to him. Hae Soo looked worried but didn't argue and let him lay his head on her lap, where she took to running his fingers through his hair soothingly.
He was asleep within minutes, the gentle murmur of the television and the feel of Hae Soo's touch lulling him to sleep. It made no sense for him to seek sleep when it was his nightmares that were causing him distress but he was simply so tired…
So was standing with Hae Soo in front of a large, glistening lake.
"Where is this place?" She asked.
"It's a lake called Dongji." So said easily.
"What kind of place is the palace?"
"A place that's hard to enter and even harder to leave." There was some resentment in his voice.
There was a new background and the two were surrounded by trees.
"I ...love you." It felt right, the way it slipped from So's mouth so easily.
Hae Soo smiled. She stood on her tiptoes and pressed a gentle kiss to So's lips.
"Next time, don't forget it."
The scene changed and Hae Soo and So were standing in front of a small tower made of stones.
"Marry me." So's smile faltered when he noticed the resigned, sad look on Hae Soo's face.
"I cannot."
So felt his heart drop but listened to Hae Soo's explanation.
"Even if I can't marry you...you can't leave me." His panic was pure and raw. He could not lose her. "You...are my only queen." They embraced.
Next, they were indoors and Hae Soo was on her knees.
"Pyeha, you said you would not hurt your brothers."
Soo was begging Wang So to spare Wook's life.
He could not stand to see her like this, not when her knees were bad. She was the last person who should be shamelessly pleading this way. He gave in. Anything to make her happy.
A few days later.
"Were you really planning on marrying Wook?" So stared at Hae Soo in shock and disbelief.
"Yes."
No...how was it possible…? His own brother. It was too painful to think about. A lump rose in his throat.
"Just lie to me instead."
"We said...we would not lie to one another." Hae Soo's eyes were filling with tears.
"How could you hurt me like this?" So's anger and devastation was overwhelming. After everything he had done for her…he could not overlook this betrayal. "Starting today..I will not see you ever again."
And she was gone, sent far away from him to live happily with Jung.
At least, he believed it to be that way. So didn't visit her in years. When he finally got there, it was too late. Inside of the cottage a grieving Jung was clutching what was left of Hae Soo. And So's world was falling apart. His Hae Soo was gone...forever. He didn't get a chance to say goodbye to her. All because of a grudge he had held against her. He was more like his mother than he had believed. And he hated himself for it.
Her letters, stained with his tears, were his most precious memories of her now.
I can never forget you now.
I long for you.
I also miss you.
I wait for you everyday.
I still love you.
"Even if are not from the same world, I will find you. My Soo."
"No!" Wang So woke with a start. It was a strangled cry. "No. Hae Soo…"
"I'm right here." Hae Soo's soft voice. "It's okay. You're okay."
Tears spilled from his eyes. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. She was radiating warmth, her hands stroking his back. This was real.
Why, then, could he not stop trembling?
"What's wrong?" Hae Soo wiped away his tears. "What did you dream?"
He pulled away slightly and stared at her, feeling for the first time a strange tingle in the back of his head. It was, he swore, almost like his inner conscious was trying to remind him of something, a gentle probe in his mind as if he'd forgotten a crucial detail that needed to be remembered.
"Let's make a promise." He murmured. "Let's not lie to one another from now on, about anything. No matter how absurd it seems."
Surprise registered across Hae Soo's features but she nodded.
"I promise."
"Do you believe in reincarnation?" He asked, trying to focus as the buzz inside his head grew more prominent.
As soon as he said it, he knew it was wrong. It wasn't reincarnation, whatever he had seen-they were in the same bodies.
"I don't understand."
"I keep having these dreams." He choked out. His voice was hoarse. "I don't know what's wrong with me.
"What kind of dreams?" Hae Soo's voice was even but he didn't miss the resonance of hope in it.
"Strange dreams...inside of a palace. It's during another time…" Here, he stopped, struggling to gather his thoughts. The buzzing was insistent, threatening to overpower him.
"Goryeo Dynasty?" Hae Soo offered carefully. Her eyes were wide.
"Yes. Goryeo.." He trailed off. "How did you…"
But of course she knew. He had met her in an art gallery. She had been crying her eyes out on the floor of the hall dedicated to the Goryeo Era. He had never asked her about that particular moment of weakness. She'd never brought it up. Her strange behavior when she had first seen him… this explained all of it. And at the same time, it made absolutely no sense at all.
He recalled asking her name on the first day they'd met. "My name is Go Ha-Jin." She'd said a bit uncomfortably. "But I'd like it if you called me Hae Soo."
His head was pounding now. He was fighting against his own mind, which was attempting to reel him in. The deepest part of his inner conscious was tingling with excitement, with memories he wasn't sure he wanted to uncover.
Then, Hae Soo was taking his face between her hands, her eyes wide with tears and hope. "I believe in second chances." Her voice was shaking. "I believe you and I are meant to be together, always, anywhere, despite all boundaries."
So clutched at his head. His limbs felt like lead and his head was pounding.
"Just let go." Hae Soo's voice was soothing, knowing. "I'm right here. You're okay."
So stopped resisting and there was an explosion inside of him, a lifetime of memories floating behind his eyelids as he went limp in Soo's arms.
I don't want a fiery love,
A flickering flame;
No, give me a love that lasts
Like the polar ice caps,
A love that threatens to
Wreck the whole world,
If it melts away
-Jessica Katoff
Hae Soo hummed. She was cooking black bean noodles. Hopefully they'd be ready by the time So woke up. Her heart drummed inside of her chest. She didn't know what to expect. What if he woke up and couldn't remember anything? Worse, what is he woke up and remembered it all but decided he didn't want to be with her anymore? After all, he had never visited her again after she'd left the palace.
She was so preoccupied with her thoughts that she didn't notice the noodles burning or the shadow that crept up behind her.
"So." She let out a startled squeak. So watched her with an expression she couldn't decipher. She waited for him to say something.
"My Soo." He stroked her cheek and his eyes glistened with emotion. "I have found you."
Hae Soo jumped into his arms and they hugged and cried. Hae Soo and Wang So, truly together at last.
Three months later
Hae Soo took one last look in the mirror. Her hair was fixed in a half-up, half-down braided style and fell in loose waves around her shoulders. She took the hairpin she had been saving for the occasion and secured it in the middle of the braid.
"Ha-Jin?" A voice called from the hallway. "So is here. He's waiting downstairs."
"I'll be right down." Hae Soo said. "Thanks, mom." She dabbed some red lipstick in the center of her lips, tossed the lipstick inside of her purse, and swung it over her shoulder.
She didn't know why she felt so nervous. It was just another planned date with So. Perhaps it had something to do with all of So's secrecy. For starters, he refused to tell her where he was taking her so she'd been forced to improvise on her outfit-a vibrant, patterned red top tucked into a puffy white skirt. It reminded her of her time in Goryeo, back when she'd worn one creative dress after the other.
Her palms grew sweaty and she took a couple of deep breaths. She knew exactly why she was nervous and she couldn't fool herself any longer. Today was the day. She had to tell So the truth about the child she'd left behind, about the daughter she had kept hidden from him. She'd already delayed the exchange of news for far too long.
"You look beautiful." So's low voice startled her slightly. He was at the bottom of the stairs, watching her descend with a wondering smile. "That dress is just your style. Shall we go?" He offered her his elbow.
"See you later, mom." Hae Soo called over her shoulder.
Past her mailbox, a black carriage was waiting for them. Tied to the front were two muscular white horses with hair so clean they were nearly glowing.
Hae Soo gasped, racing forward. "Horses…" She gave the coachman a small bow before reaching up to caress the horse nearest her. The horse gave a low neigh and sank into her touch.
Wang So appeared next to her and also stroked the horse. Hae Soo observed him. His expression was gentle and relaxed and she wished she could capture the moment.
Catching her staring, So looked up and smiled. "It isn't the same as riding them but it'll have to do for now."
They crawled into the open carriage. Hae Soo avoided conversation with So on the pretext of admiring the view as they were pulled to their destination.
"We're here." So announced suddenly. The carriage lurched to a stop in front of a vast assortment of colorful trees. Among the pink, yellow, and white, a narrow trail stood out, its destination blocked by a sharp turn and more trees.
"Gamsahamnida." So dismissed the driver and turned,intertwining his fingers with Hae Soo's.
He led her along the trail, humming, until they reached a bench that was hidden from view by more trees and flowers.
"Where are we?" Hae Soo asked, blinking against the radiant sunlight.
"A very special place in Seoul. No one can reach us here." When she didn't respond, So looked at her. "What's wrong, Soo? You're acting strange."
Hae Soo was having trouble focusing on her surroundings. She wish she could admire the scenery and obvious thought So had put into the afternoon.
She turned on the bench to face So.
"We promised we would be honest with each other." She began nervously. "That we would not lie to one another."
So nodded slowly.
"I've been keeping a secret from you." Hae Soo's throat suddenly constricted. This was so difficult. They'd talked about everything since the night So had regained his memories, including some of the most traumatizing deaths and events they'd lived through in Goryeo. Hae Soo had even had a brief conversation with So about her relationship with Wook. Yet they'd stayed clear of the topic of their daughter-well, she had anyway.
So's expression was careful, neutral. "What is it?"
"The night…" Hae Soo swallowed, fighting back the sting in her eyes. "The night I snuck out of Damiwon to see you. The night we spent together." She closed her eyes, unable to continue. "When I left the palace, I was…" She paused again and blinked back tears. "I didn't tell you about her because-"
"I met her." So's voice was low and gentle.
"What?"
"I met our daughter on the anniversary of your death." He choked a little on the last word but quickly continued. "Jung was visiting your prayer tower that day. He brought her along with him."
Tears were silently streaming down Hae Soo's face.
"She was no older than four. She called Jung abeoji."
"I'm sorry." Hae Soo fought back a sob. "I didn't want her to lead the same life I did."
So took her hands in his. "She never found out the truth. Jung kept up the pretense and I followed. She never knew about me being her father. But that's okay. It was better that way. If anyone had found out, they would have used her against me. I was a powerful king because no one could intimidate or blackmail me."
This only made Hae Soo feel worse. She thought back to the art piece she had seen so long ago, where Gwanjong of Goryeo was the solitary figure positioned in front of the palace. He had been so lonely. Terribly lonely. Sobs wracked her small body.
"Listen to me." Wang So gripped her shoulders tightly. "I still saw her. I saw her constantly. I made sure she was safe. I made sure she was never in need of anything. She considered me her uncle. She showed me all of her love. That was enough for me."
"What did she look like?" Hae Soo managed, sniffling.
He took her into his arms and stroked her hair. "She had your eyes. Every time I looked into them, I saw you. She was beautiful."
"She married a good man, who was well off and who loved her and treated her right. She became a teacher. She loved kids." So said lightly. "She lived a long and happy life. You got your wish, Soo. She never entered the palace." And his smile was genuine as he reminisced.
Hae Soo also smiled, an image surfacing in her mind of a tall, young woman with ink black hair, warm eyes, and a powerful aura surrounded by children.
They sat in silence for a few moments, Hae Soo's head leaning on So's shoulder.
She felt as if a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. Her babygirl, safe, happy, away from the palace and all of the misfortune and heartache that came with it. And So had not only known about her, he had grown with her, loved her, and protected her.
"I have a gift for you." So broke the quiet, pulling from inside of his blazer something shiny.
Hae Soo gasped again, her eyes welling again, this time with affection.
So was holding a replica of the hairpin he had once given her. It was adorned with a delicate cream colored flower, red huckleberries immersed in leaves, and a small lavender butterfly.
"Thank you." Hae Soo turned her head slightly and allowed So to remove her current pin and fasten his in its place.
"Let's walk." So helped her up and they continued their path down the trail. "I have another surprise for you."
The trees thinned and they reached a meadow, upon which sat a small cabin half hidden by wild green trees. Soo blinked rapidly, thinking she must be confused.
"Dongji?" Her question came out a little breathlessly.
It was a mirror image, this time of the lake and cabin Soo and So had so often frequented in Goryeo. The cabin, with its dark shutters and pale walls, was so familiar and accurately built Hae Soo felt a pang in her chest. But So led her straight past the lake house and layered enclosure to the gap that opened into the glistening lake water.
She still remembered being at the real lake as if it were yesterday, smiling up at So through flirtatious eyelashes.
"You're here, your highness. How am I alone?"
So was reeling in a row boat, not surprisingly identical to the one they'd traveled in before.
"Get in."
So helped her inside and they sat facing each other while So paddled along gently.
Hae Soo was touched that So would go to this extent, to the point of recreating the place that had at one point been their favorite to visit.
"Soo." So's voice was warm, easy and Hae Soo almost fooled herself into believing they were back in Goryeo, only a short distance away the palace and the princes and the Damiwon.
"This means so much to me." Hae Soo said quietly. "Thank you."
"Soo." So repeated. He'd stopped rowing and the boat was floating, swaying from side to side in the still water.
"Yes?"
"I'm sorry." So's voice was thick and apologetic.
Caught off guard, Hae Soo frowned. "What for?"
"For letting my pride and jealousy get the best of me. For never visiting you again after I made you leave the palace. For keeping that dreadful promise to never see you again." A single tear rolled down So's cheek. "I didn't know you were so sick. I didn't know you were pregnant."
Hae Soo saw in his eyes reflected the same pain she had felt earlier. This had been his burden, his secret anguish.
"It wasn't your fault." Hae Soo touched his cheek gently. "You've suffered enough because of that. We're together now and that's all that matters." She leaned back and let out a deep breath. "I think...I think it's time to leave it all behind. Not the good memories, of course, but the ones that haunt us. We need to let them go."
"You're right." So agreed, his features softening. He dug inside of his blazer once more. "Hae Soo."
"Wang So." Hae Soo relished the way his name left her mouth-she could say it over and over again. No one could threaten her because of it, no one could stop her from doing so, no one could use her as leverage. Her old fears were no more. She craned her head back, closing her eyes as the boat drifted.
"Marry me."
Hae Soo whipped around to look at So. Despite the instability of the boat, he had managed to get down on one knee. In one hand he held a black velvet jewelry box.
Soo could only stare, eyes wide as he flipped open the box to reveal a beautiful ring, not made of diamonds or emeralds but of pearls the same cream color of the hairpin he had given her earlier. Tiny pearls formed the shape of the flower and in the center shone a single ruby-a huckleberry.
"I love you more than anything in this world." So took her left hand in his free one, looking up at her. "My love for you goes beyond any boundaries or universe. Hae Soo, will you marry me?"
"Yes!" Hae Soo let him slide the ring on her finger before jumping toward him, knocking him backward with the force of her hug and suffocating him with a passionate kiss. The rowboat rocked dangerously and they nearly tipped over but Hae Soo was so overcome with euphoria that she hardly took notice.
2 months later
In twenty minutes, Hae Soo would be standing at a beautiful, elegant church altar next to the love of her life. Two words, three letters, a vow to spend eternity together.
She was overcome with ecstasy at the thought of this. They already had a house in mind for purchase, a beautiful home in Busan with a view of the seawater and in a much more withdrawn area. They had decided they weren't exactly city people, though they had plans to return to Seoul often to visit their families. Thankfully, Hae Soo had managed to convince Woo Hee and Baek Ah (who were also house-hunting) to settle in a house near theirs. Soon-Duk and Wang Eun were also living only about fifteen minutes away.
"Look at the lovely bride!" A squeal and Soon-Duk shimmied into the changing room, grabbing at the bunches of pale gold satin around her feet to keep from tripping. Woo-Hee emerged only seconds later, wearing the same golden dress. Her best friends, her bridesmaids.
"Let me take a look." Woo Hee murmured, moving in front of Hae Soo, taking her in from head to toe. She pushed a stubborn hair back into the sophisticated updo. Hae Soo was wearing the hairpin So had gifted her, despite her friends' requests to wear something more appropriate for a wedding. "Your skin looks great, you're stunning."
"Perhaps a little more blush." Soon-Duk offered.
Woo Hee slapped her cheeks with color and stepped back. "Perfect."
Soon-Duk grinned widely at her.
"You look flawless."
"So do you." Hae Soo flushed despite herself. She was all nerves before her big wedding. "Both of you. I mean it. And I'm so thankful for our friendship. I wouldn't trade it for anything."
The girls cooed and jumped into hug and when they finally separated, Soon-Duk waved away a hair that had gotten stuck on her lip gloss, cringing but laughing. "That was so corny."
There was a knock on the door and a man's voice called out. "Bridesmaids! You're up in five! I need you out here now for the finishing touches!"
"Go on." Hae Soo ushered them out. "I'll see you in a little."
"Good luck!" They called together. She let out a sigh of relief. Her mom had left the dressing room only seconds before they had arrived. She had barely had a minute to herself since days earlier, busy meeting with the wedding planner to discuss last minute details, meeting with her lawyer to ensure her legal name had been changed in time for the wedding, and grooming at the spa.
She stood in front of the full body mirror, hardly recognizing the reflection staring back at her. This Hae Soo was radiant and it had nothing to do with the beautiful, white lace dress she was in. The glow stemmed from a feeling that was beyond happiness itself, of the thought of a future together with Wang So-because her wildest dreams were finally coming true beginning with her wedding.
Mostly, she was elated by the thought of the coming years. She could already picture them waking up on lazy Sunday mornings and making pancakes together, could imagine the many slumber parties So would have to tolerate, the beer and chicken nights that would lead to drunken Wang men inside of her home she'd need to look after, the pointless couple bickering that was to come-"I thought you were planning to move in with Woo Hee, you've been spending so much time with her lately." "Oh please, you don't even come home on Friday match nights with your cousins but I don't say anything." And, perhaps more significant, somewhere in her mind appeared the image of a child. He had Soo's wide eyes and soft mouth but Wang So's pointed nose and sharp, haughty features. He'd be the cause of sleepless nights as an infant and as an adolescent, no doubt the reason behind a headache, but he would be loved regardless.
"You're up in 3 minutes!" There was pounding on the door and her stylist burst in. The stylist took one look at her and began to fret, smoothing her gown and applying a last touch of pink to her lips.
And she was being pushed down the hall and led from one hallway to the other until she was standing in front of double doors, her heart in her throat and her elbow locked between her father's arm.
She felt like she was floating, watching herself from another point of view as she glided down the aisle. Everyone cheered, standing and turning to stare at her as she passed.
At the end of the aisle was Wang So, his hair brushed neatly to one side, a handkerchief in the front pocket of his matching tuxedo.
She reached So and stepped up, turning to face him.
The minister began his speech but all Hae Soo could see was So.
"Do you, Hae Soo, take Wang So to be your lawfully wedded husband?"
The minister joined their hands together and Soo answered without hesitation.
"I do. Through sickness and health, till death do us part, and even then."
"Do you, Wang So, take Hae Soo, to be your lawfully wedded wife?"
"I do. Through better or worse, beyond any boundaries, time, or place, I promise to stay with you."
"I love you."
"I love you."
"You may kiss the bride."
And So was grabbing her waist, pulling her toward him as he dipped her into a kiss. For one fleeting moment, she was a court lady of Damiwon, meeting with her beloved prince under the night sky one final time. The applause in the background erupted like the fireworks spinning in Hae Soo's mind and she smiled briefly against So's lips.
They were Wang So and Hae Soo, inextricable and destined to be. No matter the circumstance or time period, they would drift and find one another. They were soulmates...two halves of the same soul. Inevitable.
Stardust
If you came to me with a face I have not seen,
with a name I have never heard,
I would still know you.
Even if centuries separated us,
I would still feel you.
Somewhere between the sand and the stardust,
through every collapse and creation,
there is a pulse that echoes of you and I.
When we leave this world,
we give up all our possessions and our memories.
Love is the only thing we take with us.
It is all we carry from one life to the next.
-Lang Leav
Moon Lovers; Scarlet Heart Ryeo