In a room with several comics, including signed copies of Dan Slott's Mighty Avengers run, posters of Captain Marvel and the Dark Angel Saga, and four gunpla figures of the Alex and X Divider Gundams. Sitting in a chair in front of this self was a young man with brown hair, a matching
peachfuzz and brown eyes. This was the fanfic author Navek.
Navek: Hello and welcome to the Comicversity. And yes, this is a ripoff of Atop the Fourth Wall. And in writing form since I don't have the editing skills to make a video. Also, if you guys were wondering what was taking me so long with my fanfics, it's because of AT4W, which is awesome. But unlike Linkara, I'd rather not risk my sanity reviewing terrible comics, so this show will be about reviewing good stuff (comics, anime or tv shows in general) while still trying to be funny. Anyway, let's talk about the Guardians of the Galaxy.
(Cue footage from the awesome movie.)
Navek: If you asked me back in 2008, when the Dan Abnett and Andy Lanning series came out, if I ever though the Guardian's would ever get their own movie, my answer would've been 'Hell no, are you high?' But now I've been proven wrong, much to my joy. But Rocket Raccoon is not the only 80's Marvel character with hidden potential. And no, it's not Monica Rambeau, but we'll talk about her later. Instead, we're going to talk about... THE COMET MAN!
(Crickets Chirp.)
Navek: Ya, even a lot of diehard Marvel fans will have difficulty telling you about this jem buried under the great comics such as the Roger Stern era Avengers, Rom: Spaceknight and the first Secret Wars. And before anyone asks, I am going to be picking up the new Secret Wars and no I am not pissed off because unlike DC's New 52, this is a reboot of the physical universe, not of the characters. But anyway, Comet Man. Not a lot I can say about Comet Man. It was created by Bill Mumay, the guy who played Will Robinson from Lost in Space.
Robot: Danger, Will Robinson!
Navek: The series lasted for only six issues in 1987, but it was still good and if I ever work at Marvel, Comet Man is someone I would love to write. And I'll show you why as we look into 'The Comet Man #1.'
(Close up on the cover of Issue 1.)
The cover is pretty good, with the titular Comet Man flying through space. Although maybe the reason he never caught on was because the way he flies kind of reminds me former New Mutant, former X-Forcer, former X-Man and current Avenger Cannonball. We also see Halley's comet in the background, but with a sudden curve in it's trajectory, no doubt so Magneto can use it kill millions of people to make a point.
Deadpool: Obscure reference for the win!
Navek: Also, the font of the logo looks like the classic Detective Comics logo but with a pink comic trail behind the 'Man' part. We start our story in space.
Space Core: Spaaaaaaaaaaace!
A shuttle opens and a circular pod, named Firewatch. As it's flying past a dark pink planet on the next page, we get some exposition in the form of caption boxes.
CAP: Spacebell Firewatch is the most sophisticated manned information gathering probe ever created. Firewatch is the culmination of the Edmund Project, a joint effort of NASA and MIT to investigate Halley's and other related space phenomena.
NavekCAP: We will finally figure out how the hell the Authority's Carrier works!
CAP: At the helm is astronomer and astrophysicist Dr. Stephen Beckley. Dr. Beckley and his wife, former astronaut Ann Beckley, are the architects and chief executives of the Edmund Project.
Navek: I guarantee you that if this comic was made today, we would have spent an entire issue just figuring out what the hell the Edmund Project is, and waste our time. Sometimes compressed storytelling is better. Anyway, Stephen is talking with his wife on the radio as we cut to Cape Canaveral, Florida. Holy Crap, a comic that takes place in Florida, my home state!
(Cue: Final Fantasy Victory Theme!)
Anyway, Ann is there with their son Benny to oversee the mission. However, some jackass pats her on the ass. The blonde jackass is named David and he's apparently Ann's ex. David tries to get the kid out of the room, no doubt to bang his ex on million dollar equipment. But Ann isn't having any of this crap and tells him. But before she can deliver the final zinger...
Stephen: Firewatch to Mission Control...this zero gravity stuff takes some getting used to. I'm feeling a little queasy.
NavekStephen: I knew I shouldn't have had that decompressed Panda Express before taking off.
Navek: David declares, "Quiet a man you've got there, Ann." further cementing his douchebag status. Benny points out that Stephen is on TV. The news report also reveals that David is a former ambassador acting as a liaison between NASA and MIT. Based on what we know of him so far, I assume he lost his job after getting caught harassing a secretary. Anyway, after Benny calms that his dad is totally cool, we cut back to the Firewatch probe. Stephen sees the comet, but it suddenly changes its path. He calls Mission Control about this, but his ship is sucked into the comet's tail.
Stephen: This is not, repeat not, what we expected!
Navek: Well this is same universe where radiation grants superpowers instead of killing people, magic is real, and genetic mutations somehow let you control the weather. I'm just saying, weirder stuff happens in this universe than a comet randomly changing course. Back to the comic, we see a well-drawn page of the Firewatch being destroyed, with four panels at the bottom showing the horrified expressions of Stephen's family, David looking surprised, and ... some pale guy we haven't met yet. Ann and Benny are naturally distraught with his death, and David, sensitive man he is, puts his hand on Ann's arm with a smirk on his face. Yes, attempt to get with the woman who's husband was vaporized five seconds ago! David just gets more likable ever page. After Ann takes off with Benny to grieve, David gets a call.
David: Yes, sir...absolutely no chance of survival...we don't know how it happened. I'm on my way.
NavekDavid: I'll be there as soon as I finish banging the receptionist.
Navek: We then cut to Chapter Two; in the same comic after only one page of ads.
CAP: Onboard the alien ship...
Navek: Yes, because we couldn't tell this wasn't a human ship without that caption. Anyway, the mystery pale guy is tampering with a machine that fires a laser into a tube, that turns into Stephen. He wakes up and has the expected reaction.
Stephen: AAHHHHRRGGHH! WHAT HAPPENED?! WHERE AM I?!
Pale Alien: Oh, english...I can handle that.
A-Bomb: Who speaks perfect english! Seriously, I am one who thinks that's weird?
Navek: The alien guy says he was a bit off his course for a joyride and didn't know that there any manned satellites this deep in space. Stephen is confused by his wording so the alien elaborates.
Pale Alien: I'm Max, from the colony Fortisque, Sector 22. We seeded this galaxy...
Navek: Dammit Max, now you've made those jackoffs on Ancient Aliens right about something!
Max: Every seventy seven years or so by your count, a traditional information gathering ceremony is launched. You call it Halley's Comet.
Stephen: You mean to tell me that Halley's comet...
Max: Right! It's a ship.
Navek: So Halley's comet in the Marvel Universe is a spaceship created by a race of being that created the human race. How come no one has referenced this?! This is awesome! Max explains that he managed to pick up all of Stephen's molecules after he was vaporized and reassembled him, but couldn't rebuild the pod since his ship isn't equipped to reconstruct anything non-organic. He also gives Stephen some stare cloths, which will become his superhero costume. Max also states that the machine that brought him back was calibrated to Fortisquian standards, so Stephen is now a fully evolved humanoid. He suggests they go back to his home colony to fully examine Stephen, but he states that his wife and kid still thinks he's dead so he better go to them. Max disagrees, but he's already behind schedule and wishes Stephen luck, grabbed his hand and teleporting him outside the ship, now with a purple mask on his face. Stephen thinks Max just dumped him.
Stephen: I'm lost in space.
Navek: I get it! Stephen soon starts to get a hang of his powers, flying through space at high speeds. He soon starts thinking about returning to base, and suddenly ends up at his office.
Stephen: I'm in my office! What the...I must've-what's it called...? Teleported here somehow!
NavekStephen: And someone already took my stapler.
Navek: He calls the front office to talk to his wife, but they send David since the last thing they knew about Dr. Beckley was that he lit up like a firecracker. David enters the office and upon seeing a man he thought was dead until a few seconds ago, has a thought that further makes me dislike him.
David: No! It's not fair! I could've had Ann back, but now I've lost her to him again!
Navek: Time and place! A guy just came back from the dead! Stephen explains to David what happened to him and David claims they have to keep him under quarantine for a bit to examine his new biology and debrief him. Stephen asks him to tell Ann he's alive, and David lies, wanting Ann to think he's still dead. We then begin Chapter 3 and see Stephen's powers, which includes super-strength, telekinesis, telepathy and flight (which is probably an extension of his telekinesis.) Due an assistant's bumbling, David is almost crushed by a giant steel mechanism, but Stephen unfortunately saves him. Even after the guy saves his life, David still thinks that he's in his way. After all this, Stephen and David talk over dinner about Max and if he poses a threat to Earth, but Stephen's food was drugged, knocked him out as David calls someone to initiate 'Phase 2'. Meanwhile, Ann and Benny are taken by shady federal agents. Afterwards, David is in the office of 'the Superior', a guy covered by shadows. David believes they should intercept Max's ship before it leaves the galaxy, because I guess they can do that. We also get some symbolism with the Superior releasing a small bird into a cage and attacked by a bigger bird. Next scene.
CAP: 15 hours later in an underground laboratory in Langley, Virginia, Dr. Beckley's comet flight suit undergoes testing.
Navek: No doubt so Agent Stan Smith can use it for something mundane and stupid.
CAP: In a strange, liquid filled containment tank, Stephen Beckley is violated by probe sensors from head to toe.
Robot Chicken clip: No butt stuff! No butt stuff!
Navek: Thanks for that mental image, comic! Stephen wakes up and sees David who tells him that he is at Bridge research, a covert intelligence facility.
David: Yes, yes. We've had a lot of bad press lately.
NavekDavid: Mostly from women who have been sueing me for sexual harassment. Turns out 'no' does mean 'no.'
Navek: David continues to give exposition, explaining that Firewatch's last readings showed phenomenal energy readings and explains that if Stephen cooperates with them, he'll get to see his family again.
David: In the meantime, I'll personally see to it Ann has everything she needs!
Navek: And our comics ends with Stephen scowling at David in anger.
CAP: Continued Next Issue..."Try on set the night fire."
Navek: 'We didn't the fire! It was always burning since the world's been turning!' Anyway, this comic is great. It sets the tone for the series, gives us a hero who is kind and with an interesting power set and a villain who we really want to see get punched in the face. The art and dialogue are top notch, especially for the era this comic was made in. We might get back to this comic later, but I don't have the rest of the series yet. But next time, we jump forward a decade to the Dark Age of comics, and look at one of the greatest comics of that decade; The Authority!
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.