Fipp: So a while ago I wrote a one-shot called "The Deep and the Dark, the Light", and after some thinking it over I decided to turn that into part one of a series called "Salvation", in which those who were lost make their way back home.
Also, just as I was writing the scene for a certain character, guess who I learned was present during the time of Union X? I don't know about you, but I lost it when I found that out.
A Collection of Pieces
At first, there had been white, nothing but white and it was blinding. White floors, white walls, white decoration from the vases and pillars, to stairs and windows and doors, all of it was white. Even she was white, with a white dress and pale skin, lightly colored blonde hair, and while it had all been so simple, it was overwhelming.
She sat in the corner, trying to understand, half-realized images playing in front of her eyes. Sand and sunlight, the sound of ocean lapping against the beach and the feeling of wind against her skin and the smell of salt wafting up to her. These are things she has never seen before, all she had known is white, but yet she knows of them, and recall feeling of the sand and water against her bare feet. The corner however is the only place she's been, she'd never moved from there, it was the first thing she could recall, and the only place she had ever been.
From that spot, she went over the images, and she wasn't alone, there were other people there as well, and at first they had been empty shapes to her, blurs against the background, but even at that time it did something to her, something inside her chest and it hurt. Change came, however, when a tall figure in black appeared, and when she tilted her head up to meet it, her eyes burned from the sudden change in color, this sudden darkness against the light.
"My, what do we have here?" he had said. She had given no response as he grabbed her by the arm and heaved her up.
000
She grips her weapon tightly in her hand as she stares down the figure standing in front of them, taking note of the glowing flower petals and gently floated around him.
"You?" said the man standing next to her, and already she could feel the rise in temperature. "Out of all the people to bring back into his fold, how the hell did YOU make the cut?"
"It is a surprise, is it not?" the figure says, removing their hood with a small flourish of petals in the air. "Though, I must say I am of equal shock to find you standing amongst these so-called warriors of light."
Her hold on her weapon tightens as she sees his sights turned from her friend and to her, and she can feel his eye burrow deep into her as a sly smile appears on his lips.
"So, it is you, is it not? One of the seven Princesses of Heart, if I am correct," he then said. "I must say, but it very good to meet you again, Naminé."
"I'm not Naminé," she said, raising he weapon defensively. She'd never met this man before, but something about him sent chills down her spine, had her heart beginning to race, and despite how much she's trying to keep steady, there's a slight shake in her hands.
"Are you not?" the man asked. "You say that, but by simply looking at you, all I can see is that witch."
"Well I'm still not her, and don't call her a witch like that!"
"You seem to be getting defensive over her for some reason, but I suppose your reasons are your own. A type of narcissism if I had to guess." The air around him began to pick up, the wind blowing as more petals began to appear, scattering around him. "I suppose I should take this time to appreciate this irony of this moment, the last time the three of us were together like this, you were more than willing to slice through our dear little friend, weren't you Axel?"
A flurry of heat flashes to life beside her as the same kind of weapon she has appears in his hand. "Yeah, funny how things change," her friend replies, his voice steady as he keeps his eyes on the man.
"A Keyblade for you as well?" the man said, his eyes lingering between the two weapons. "How so very quaint." He raises his arm into the air, palm open, as a small petal gently drifts downwards, landing on in, and in a flash of light a weapon appears.
Neither she, nor her friend, were expecting him to have the same weapon as well.
000
The crayons were the first colors she had seen, a multitude of vibrant shades that gave off a faint smell that she did not dislike, and for whatever reason, she took to them nearly instantly, she rolled them in her hand, the feeling of wax and paper between her fingers was pleasant. It did something to the inside of her, and the cold numbness had be almost drifted away, leaving room for something else, something small and warm.
"Can you feel the wielder of the Keyblade?" said a soft voice to her side, and while the scent of roses is as nice as the texture of the crayons, the warmth left her and the cold returned. "His name is Sora, but you already know that, don't you Naminé?"
Memories that were never hers suddenly flooded her mind, and she had begun to image a boy, one with a bright smile and a kind heart, one that did what he could to make her feel safe, but she realized that never happened to her. Those memories belonged to someone else, the girl who she wasn't. The man's eyes were heavy on her, and she had wanted nothing more than to shrink into herself, sitting in her chair, and hoping to vanish from his sight.
"Y-yes..." she whispered, and a part of her feels uneasy since that was not the voice she had in her memories.
"I wonder how long you've been here in this castle, all alone," he continued, slowly moving to the other side of her. "It would drive most people mad, but you are not like most people are you, Naminé?"
Her fingers gripped at the hem of her dress, trying to not look up at him and ignore him, to pretend he was not there.
"I be you would like to see him again, wouldn't you?"
She did, she really did want to see him again, all she wanted to do was to feel that warmth and safeness.
"But, I don't think he'd feel the same way, after all, why would he? You are nothing more than a stranger to him, why would he care who you are, when all you are is a shadow of someone else he knows."
When the blank pad was slammed down onto her lap, she'd screamed, looking up to the other person, who glared down at her with piercing green eyes.
"Well then little girl," the woman said, a finger already tracing her jaw. "If you don't want to spend the rest of your miserable and sad little existence all alone, then you better do something about it."
She hadn't said anything, her body froze, and she couldn't move a muscle even if she wanted to.
"If you don't want to do anything," the man continued, stepping in front of her and next to the woman. "Then fine, but there's nothing left to discuss here." He turned around and began to walk towards the door, the woman following close behind him, each step bring them close to the doors, and she can only watch them leave.
"Please no!" she jumped up, clutching the sketch pad to her chest as the man's hand touched the door, but thankfully they both stopped. "I'll do it, I'll help you!"
She wants that light and that warmth, she wants to feel the things that other girl felt, and she doesn't want to be alone with these people anymore. Most importantly, she wants someone to want her.
"That's very good to hear from you," he said, turning around to face her, before he and the woman began to make their way back to where she stood on shaky legs. "With this, we will both get what we want, I will obtain Sora's power, and you get what it is that all Nobodies seek and desire above all; the chance to be a Somebody, even if that role is a lie to begin with."
Suddenly they're both standing over her, taller than her and easily too much for her.
"Oh, look at that, she's trying to look afraid, how cute," the woman cooed, and before she had the chance to resist, the woman grabbed hold her her face, gripping her jaw in a vice as she turned her to look in her eyes. "Well stop it," she hissed. "You and I both know you can't actually feel anything, so don't go around making it look like you can, because no one here care." She pushed her back, letting her fall back into her chair, which rocked as she landed. "Now get to work."
Not wanting to anger her anymore than she had, the girl had picked up the red crayon and placed it to the blank sheet of paper.
000
The moment she and the woman stare eye-to-eye, she begins to feel afraid. She knows who this woman is, her friend had told her about her after they met the pink-haired man, to prepare her in the case they were to run into anymore of his old "associates".
The woman stared at her, glaring down at her before she let loose a shrill laughter that nearly made her freeze. She wore no black cloak, but due to the circumstance she is still an enemy, and she knows she's going to have to fight her, but without any help this time.
"Well, well, what do we have here?" the woman laughed, taking long strides towards her. "I honestly never expected to see you again Naminé."
"I'm not Naminé," she says, trying to control the shaking in her hands.
"Right, right." The woman waves her hand dismissively. "But honestly I don't see much difference, you have that same watery look that she had, the one that made it look like she was going to cry. That look is recognizable anywhere."
Back when she fought the man from before, she could feel old and familiar tremors coming through her body, the desire to shrink away from him, to hope he would ignore her if she stayed silent for long enough, but she overcame those thought and fought and won. Here however, she feels afraid, she wants to avoid the woman because she know it'll hurt being near her, and part of her body begins to ache as though they had been roughly grabbed and bruised. She doesn't want to be alone with her, but that's the situation she finds herself in.
Still, she knows she has to fight, and she will.
"Now don't get me wrong, I'm actually glad that I found myself running into you again, Naminé," she said, heels clacking against the ground. "If you recall, the last time we met you got dear little Sora to do your dirty business for you." A sudden scowl appeared on her. "Please tell me you somehow grew a spine since then, this will be so much more enjoyable if you did."
Her throat goes dry at the response, but she keeps strong.
"You're not getting to her anytime soon, she's safe from you. I'll make sure of that."
The woman stares at her with an unreadable expression before she begins to cackle, throwing a hand to cover her mouth in an attempt to stifle herself. "Oh my, don't tell me she got to you too! Did she go ahead and make you think you were some childhood friend of hers? That you had made some kind of promise to her, that you would protect her? Please, a girl like that can only form relationships through lies, manipulation, and deceit!" Sparks shoot to life around the woman, knives flashing into existence in a flash of lightning between her finger, and she can feel the hair on the back of her neck stand up. "Try to put up more of a fight this time, okay? It's much more fun for me when they fight back."
There's no time to prepare herself as the woman is already on her.
000
She kept trying to tell herself that it didn't hurt, how could it hurt? She was a Nobody, there was no way someone like her could suffer from a broken heart, when she wasn't supposed to have one in the first place. Even if she did have a heart, it didn't matter, this was the right thing to do; Sora had no need for a heart filled with memories that never happened, not when he had memories of people who were truly important to him, people who were more than mere shadows.
"They will return, you do know this?" said the man who called himself DiZ when he first introduced himself. "This castle is their secondary stronghold, and the members who have been assigned here have perished at Sora and Riku's hand, they will want to know what had happened here. When they send someone, they will find you, and they will take him and his friends for themselves, and eliminate you when they do. How could you not think that far ahead?"
"I-" She could say anything else, of course she knew about the Organization, but she had hoped that maybe with the properties of the castle that maybe she could be safe, and protect Sora, Donald and Goofy, at least long enough to restore their memories. As long as she had all the pieces, it wouldn't take that long, maybe a week, less than seven days even, surely enough time before the Organization sent anyone here.
But there was no progress to make, there were too many missing links, too many important memories that would otherwise leave gaps, and the result would leave someone who was not entirely Sora.
"I know of a place we can take them," DiZ had said. "A world settled between the Realms of Light and Dark, a quaint village called Twilight Town."
With that, she found herself living in an old, abandoned mansion on the outskirts of town with DiZ for the better part of a year.
It was quiet for the most part, nothing to disturb her from working of trying to piece together what she could, and while the décor of the mansion was nothing like Castle Oblivion, she couldn't help but feel that same numbing coldness. DiZ had spent most of his time in the basement, monitoring Sora's vitals, and when he wasn't there it was out of the mansion investigating the Organization, the movement of lesser Nobodies, and the occasional supply run. He made for very poor company, leaving her in her room for the most part and only speaking to her when he had questions he needed answers for and was quick to leave when he had gotten what he had wanted. On top of all that, his disdain for Nobodies was for the most part apparent, and at best it would come off as mere tolerance for her presence.
One day, when the temperature outside had dropped, snow began to slowly drift down from the sky and she had traded in her dress for a sweater, she had made the suggestion to maybe put up a small tree.
"Why would you want to do that?" he had asked, his one visible eye giving a piercing, amber glare.
"Well, the holidays are around the corner, so I thought it would be nice to-"
"Don't make me laugh," he said. "You and I both know that you don't have the capacity to truly appreciate this time of year, so don't try to pretend otherwise.
"Oh, I'm sorry."
"No, you're not."
Then that was that.
During her time there, when she was not working on Sora's memories, or drawing in her sketch pad, she would often look outside the window of her room, peaking through the curtains, where she would stare at the forest and the tops of the buildings, gazing to the distant clock tower. One day, something caught her eye; standing in front of the locked gates she could see three people, children of the town if she had to guess. They were standing around, talking amongst themselves, and occasionally pointing towards the mansion until one of them, the tall blonde boy, actually reached out and grabbed the gate, shaking the iron bars in a futile attempt to unlock them, but after a short while he gave up. It wasn't that muck longer after that did the three of them turn around and walk back into the forest and towards town, leaving her to stare at their retreating back, even long after they had gone.
The bits and pieces of memories she had from Kairi came to her, of playing on the islands with Sora and Riku, and the coldness in her chest grew more suppressing. It wasn't smart, she knew that the moment she put her sketchpad down and left her room, but she couldn't help herself, but a part of herself tried to convince herself she could do this, that DiZ had been gone for hours, and for him to be gone for days at a time were not unusual. Even as she pressed her hands against the heavy front doors, pushing them open, she kept telling herself that there was nothing wrong with this.
For the first time ever, she stood outside, the orange glow of the twilit sun shining down warmly on her skin, while a soft breeze gently blew around her and making her hair tickle her ears. She could hear the birds and the trees as they swayed in the wind, and how the grass sank beneath her sandals. Closing her eyes she took a deep breath and simply allowed herself to enjoy being outside.
"What are you doing out here, Naminé!"
Spinning on her feet she turned to the open door, where a furious-looking DiZ had already begun making his way towards her.
"D-DiZ!" she gasped. "I-" She didn't get the chance to continue when DiZ grabbed her by her arm in a vice-like grip and proceeded to drag her back into the mansion, with enough speed and force that she almost tripped over her own feet in trying to keep up with him. When they entered the threshold he all but threw her into the main hall, almost causing her to tumble to the ground as he slammed the doors behind him.
"What were you doing outside?" he growled, hands still on the doors.
"I-I-" she stuttered, a hand moving to were he grabbed her, to where she could already see light bruise marks forming. "I just wanted to go outside, at least once. I didn't think-"
"Of course you didn't think you stupid girl," DiZ growled, turning towards her, and she shrunk before him, stepping back and trying to avoid his eye, hoping that she would turn invisible, just be anywhere but here. "If the Organization were to find you, then everything that I have worked for would be for nothing." He took a step closer to her, and she took a step away from him. "You may lack a heart, but I was hoping that you didn't lack a brain."
"I'm sorry," she said in a hoarse whisper, feeling smaller and smaller with every second.
"Go back to your room and continue with your work."
She ran up the stairs and away from him, and it wasn't until she had sat down in her chair did she realize that she was holding her breath. Her heart, the actual organ, beating rapidly in her chest and her hands shaking, tears beginning to well in the corners of her eyes, she took hold of her sketchbook and gave one last glance to the window to the outside world.
Knowing she didn't deserve it, she went back to work.
000
She had never gotten a good look at the man, once from the castle in the world of nothingness, and several times from half-remembered memories from another lifetime, but she is positive that she had never seen him look like this, so much older and tired than what she would have expected.
"I-" he started, eyes wearily blinking as he leaned against the table he was seated next too. "I cannot help but thank you enough for rescuing me from their clutches, I had almost began to fear that had rescue not come sooner, than all that would be left of me would be an empty shell of the man I once was, more so than what you see before you."
"We were happy to help, though I can't say were knew you were going to be there," says the boy by her side, before giving a nervous glance to the side as he scratched the back of his head. There are a lot of things she wants to say to him, to tell him, she she was never certain how to do it, but for now just being with him, fighting along side him, is more than enough for her. "He actually thought you died back at The World that Never Was, so we were all surprised to hear that you somehow ended up back in the Realm of Darkness, where you met Aqua."
"Aqua..." the old man repeated, his voice far off. "Yes, that blue-haired girl with key in hand, so she somehow survived her encounter with Xehanort's other personas. I was deeply worried for the worst, she reminded me a lot of you."
The boy gives a laugh, but she can't help but keep her eyes on the man. Something is building in her chest when she looks at him, and she doesn't know quiet what it is. It's something unpleasant, it's not anger or disgust though, or resentment, and she is not certain why she's feeling it at all, until she remembers that maybe she's not the one feeling it.
She then realizes it's possibly pity more than anything else.
"So what are you going to do now?" she asks, the first thing she has directly to the old man.
"What now?" he replies, carefully and slowly. "Once I said I was a servant of the world, and I do know that Xehanort must still be stopped, and I fully intend to do what I can to help, but..." He pushes himself up from his seat until he is standing, his arm shaking as he uses it to prop himself up, and she's almost worried he might fall. "However, there are a few things I feel I must first rectify."
She and the boy exchange confused looks before they look back to the man, who now seems so much more old and tired than before, eyes filled with a heavy sorrow.
"The last time I took up arms against the Organization, I did so from the shadows," he began. "While my goals were for the better of the worlds, I cannot say that my desire for said goal was pure. I had wanted revenge for their actions against me, and I cared not what had happened, but as long as they were all eliminated, than I cared not what happened. However, my time in the Realm of Darkness, I reflected on my past actions, and I came to realize that in the end I was just as heartless, maybe even more so, than Xemnas himself. People were hurt because of my desire for vengeance, and lives were ruined, and you two know more than anybody as to whom I refer to to."
"You mean Roxas and Naminé?" the boy said, a hand drifting to his chest, an action she repeats.
"Yes, Roxas and Naminé. I had done so much wrong by them, and they suffered because of me."
"And what?" she said, the words coming out a bit more accusing in tone than what she would have wanted. "Do you intend to do something about it?"
The old man says nothing, his gaze averting itself from having to look either of them in the eye.
"I know I will never have the right to earn forgiveness for my actions, I would at the very least would like the chance to try and make things right by them."
"How?"
"I do not know if you are aware, but the Organization had something they called the Replica Project, and while the resources here at Radiant Garden, and at my old base in Twilight Town, are not nearly as refined or advanced when compared to what the Organization had, I would like to hope that I could create suitable vessels for them, though I cannot say it will be an easy task."
She and the boy glance at each other, both hesitant to take this chance. This is a very important thing to them, and they don't want to risk something going wrong, but at the same time they both know that something like this would be risky and possibly dangerous from the start. More so for him than her, much to the feeling of dread she has in the put of her stomach.
"Well, let's see what you can do," he says, eventually, and despite her own fears and doubts, she nods in agreement.
000
There is light everywhere around her, it's bright and powerful, but it is not overwhelming or oppressing in anyway, but rather it is gentle, and warm, and most of all pure. Shadows and darkness are foreign here, they don't have a place here and they never did, for this place, this heart, is one of only seven like it in all the worlds. It's utterly beautiful and without flaw. She, however, is a blemish on it, an imperfection that was never meant to be here, an ugly shadow that will one day simply cease to exist, leaving this place pure again.
Most of her time here had left her feeling tired, nearly asleep and barely conscious of her own self, and the few times she was fully aware of herself and what was happening around her she wondered how much longer it would be. She was a Nobody, a creature born into nothingness, maybe even more so considering the particulars of her birth, and as with all Nobodies the only fate she had would be to one day fade back into darkness. Yes, there were the few exceptions to that rule, the ones who managed to regain the hearts they lost, but she knows that is something she cannot have, for the heart she lost already belongs to someone else, the person she used to be. All that is left for is oblivion, to fade away into nothing, but after everything that has happened to her, she is fine with that, she has to be.
"You shouldn't have to feel like that."
Her eyes opened, and in a moment of stark clarity she can see that she is not alone.
"Kairi?" she said in surprise to seeing her original self before her in the light.
"Hello Naminé," Kairi said back, a kind smile on her face. "It's good to see you again."
"What are you doing here?" Naminé asked.
"I'm here to help you of course, how else could I have gotten here?"
"Help me? Oh..." Realization pours down on her, and she found that she could not look her Somebody in the eye any longer. "Kairi, I appreciate that you want to do that for me, but we've been over this before, this is how it's meant to be, I was never supposed to exist in the first place, and the only thing I can do is to go back to where I belong."
"And where is that?"
"To go back to you, as long as I exist like I do, you can't be complete, you'll always have a piece of you missing, and this is the only way for you to become whole again."
"Is that what you really want though? Just to vanish and just become a part of me and never really be someone on your own?"
Naminé's eyes fell down to the lower regions of the light-filled void, trying to look away from Kairi. "...It's for what's best, there can be only one Kairi."
A heavy silence filled the air between them, Kairi herself acting as a heavy presence in it.
"You're right," she said after a time, her voice low. "There can only be one Kairi, no one wants a second one running around."
"I'm glad you understand, Kairi," Naminé replied, accepting her words.
"No one wants a second Kairi, because they want only one Naminé." With those words Naminé's head snapped back up, to meet Kairi's own eyes. "You talk about how you feel you don't have the right to exist because you're a Nobody, but then what about Lea? He came back, and so did several members of the Organization too, and if people like that could be given a second chance, than you certainly have more than any right to have your own existence."
"Do I really, because I don't think so. I'm not exactly free of sins either..."
"You mean Sora and his memories?"
Namine nodded. "Yes, and Roxas too. I took apart their memories and rearranged them and they suffered for it, Roxas lost his individuality, and Sora, Donald and Goofy each lost a year of their lives. Worst of all, I replaced you with myself in his memories, and even though I later tried to make things right, it still doesn't change the fact that I wanted to replace you because... because..." She turned away from Kairi, unable to look at her as she wrapped her arms around her small frame. "I wanted someone to think of me, and think of someone special, someone that he wanted to see, but I get it now, I'm no one special. I'm just a..." A nobody she wanted to say, but she couldn't say it.
"Then you're wrong," Kairi said, the tone of her voice stronger than before. "Yes, you made a mistake, but you're not alone in that; Riku made mistakes too, but Sora and I were never angry at him, and from what Master Aqua has told us, she and her friends made terrible mistakes as well, but all she wants is to be together with them again. Do you know why people are so willing to forgive?"
"..."
"Because Riku is my friend, because Master Aqua misses her friends so much, because after everything that has happened, I want us to be friends, Naminé."
Kairi's words surprised Naminé and she couldn't help but look back to her.
"I want to get to know who you are, that you're more than some part of me, and I'm not alone in that. Riku would like to know you better, and Sora, I think more than anyone else, would love to able to call you his friend," she said, a warm smile coming to life.
Her hands drifted down from her arm until they had reached each-other, her fingers lightly grasping at her pinkie. "He did make a promise..." she said, the ghost of a smile on her lips. "But, if they really want to know me, then how do I be... me?"
"I don't know... From what Riku and Lea told me, that between Castle Oblivion and DiZ, you maybe haven't had much time to really figure that out for yourself. I'd like to help you with that if you'd want." She then reached out and offered her hand out to her.
Naminé looked at the hand offered to her and hesitated. Could she do this? Was it possible to have a different kind of future for herself, a future at all? It was almost overwhelming to think about, the idea that she could have more, frightening to think about.
Hesitantly though, she reached out to Kairi, half-expecting her to pull her hand back, but instead she was able to grasp it, and she began to feel a soft warmth going through her body. Instead of coming from Kairi, like she expected, she found that it was coming from within.
000
Please be well,
Mrfipp