Ngoc Chau does not own Bleach

Okay, I think this is more or less fanservice now. I don't think I'm going to write from Mayuri's/my view as frequent as I would've liked. I think Nemu's/my view is the safest for me. So um... I was writing this when I felt buzzed from drinking too much coke and eating some icecream. This was inspired by the swimsuit episode of Bleach, episode 228. I thought it would be fun if Mayuri went up to the real world just to relax. If it seems way to cracky, tell me and I'll fix it. Please read and review.

Again, excuse the written style, I wanted this to be established something like an omake. In fact it is!

Prompt: Water

Beach!

Sun!

Swimsuits!

Summer!

Watermelons!

Reader, the Shingami Women Association were up in the real world at the beach again! And believe it or not, a certain captain who had accepted an invitation from his lieutenant was walking onto the beach in a blue floral print shirt and tan cargoes, his busty lieutenant faithfully holding an umbrella behind him to block the sun. All eyes were on it for it was certainly a queer sight to see.

Ichigo was the first to comment, "Oh my God! Is that Kurotsuchi without his paints and mask on?"

Yes, Reader, Kurotsuchi Mayuri had actually come up to the real world to the beach, and his appearance was not so bad. If you were to only see the blue floral print shirt and tan cargoes, the moss green sunhat on his hand that hid away most of his blue hair(those who were there were actually surprised to see it short instead of long as his latest get-up made it seem), the pitch-black sunglasses that obscured the golden eyes, the headphones connected to his denreishinki, the flip-flops; and then you ignore the extra-long nail and the numerous scars that trailed over his limbs, he would appear quite average.
Most had their jaws open, shocked to see the sadistic scientist actually participate in something so… normal. Though, despite the change in appearance, this was still Kurotsuchi Mayuri who had little tolerance for anything, particularly idiots who pointed out the obvious.

He raised the sunglasses up over his brow, the golden eyes narrowing at Ichigo, "Shut up! You can't expect me to wear it here with all this water around and the sun beating on us!"

Now, that being said, Reader, Mayuri was quite anti-social and only came to the beach because he had heard it was a place where one could relax just by stepping on its sands and then curious to what the real world could offer, had agreed to come.
So, there he was sitting back on a beach chair under a beach parasol, reading back on old reports that he had put aside to look back on while Nemu obediently sat by his side on a beach towel(quite a lot of items used at the beach, begins with beach), her knees curled up to her chest. As a very careful man, he kept his zanpakuto close by his chair. He briefly looked up at the beach before him. Yachiru was out in the waters playing with the other members of her association that Mayuri could never name or remember. The 2nd division captain had gone off some time ago with the former captain to hunt down some sharks. He could care less about what the men were doing, but noticed that the Quincy was not anywhere to be seen; perhaps it was better that way, there was no point in battling it out when it was so hot and bright. Though he knew that the Quincy was lurking around somewhere, he had already seen one of the humans here, it was likely that others were somewhere else close by.

His sunglasses rested low on the bridge of his nose, he read above the frames; the seagulls called out as the waves whispered against the sand. Just then, a large red, white, and blue beach ball rolled over to where Nemu sat. He kept his head still towards the bundle of papers he was holding, but out of the corner of his eye, he kept watch of Nemu. She picked up the ball, holding it for Yachiru as she came running and screaming to them. The little twerp was wearing what seemed to be a red and white polka dotted bikini. He could not understand why so many of the women there were trying to wear as little as they could get away with; why, his Nemu was dressed nicely in a one-piece that was stylish and functional. T

he little pink-haired girl grabbed the ball back into her little hands and squealed, "Nemu! Come and play with us!"

Nemu looked at Mayuri, though her face was almost expressionless, he could hear the plea in her tone when she called his name, "Mayuri-sama…"

His answer was almost immediate, he had already known what was going to happen as soon as Yachiru had come for the ball over here. His eyes were still glued to the bundle of papers in his hand, he pushed the sunglasses up higher on the bridge of his nose, "You're staying here." he was stern, absolute, "Who knows what sort of mischief you're going to get into and then it'll be up to me to fix it. I'm too relaxed to do such a thing today and I don't want any trouble from you here."

"Nemu!" the little girl pleaded, she started pulling on Nemu's hand, trying to drag her to the waters.
She turned to him, tears already welling up in her eyes, "Mayurin, can Nemu come play with us?"

She was adorable, she was cute; fortunately, he never liked her for those qualities anyway and so it was quite easy and painless to tell her, "No."

"No?" she questioned as her bottom lip began to quiver. She sounded almost shocked that he could say no to her.

"No." he repeated for her again, a nasty smile growing on his face.

"Meanie Mayurin!" she bawled, "I'll hold my breath until you say yes!" was the threat that came from her. She went ahead and puffed out her chest, her cheeks blown up with air that she wouldn't be able to inhale anyway.

He added too freely, turning to another page in the bundle he was reading. "And I don't really care."

Nemu was rubbing the young girl's back, suggesting to her that she should breathe or she would pass out. Yachiru's face was almost blue! She inhaled a lungful of air and got onto her knees, shaking the chair in which Mayuri lounged in, "Please! Please! Please, please please! Please, please, please, pleasepleasepleaseplease…" The shaking of the chair grew more furious and desperate as the speed and intensity of her pleases.

He couldn't take it anymore, "Fine! Just take her and leave me alone!"

She gave a cheer and a leap and pulled Nemu away with superhuman like speed.

He sighed as he leaned back in his chair, muttering over the stupidity of little prepubescent girls like that and how Kenpachi didn't even have the gall to teach his young ward manners as he had taught Nemu. The sunglasses slipped down the bridge of his nose again and he continued his reading; trying to remember if he ever taught Nemu to swim before and then trying to forget that inquisition.
A shadow suddenly crossed over his legs and he looked up to the source. It was Ukitake Jushiro. The sickly man inquired with a warm friendly smile, "Are you enjoying yourself, Kurotsuchi-san?"

The papers fell on his stomach, his hand resting on top of them to keep the wind from blowing them away. He sneered with a sigh, "This was the most horrible idea I ever had. Why did I allow us both to come to the real world again?"

The white haired captain sat near the foot of the beach chair from the blue haired captain, he patted his comrade's hand heartily, "Because a break was needed for us and it's a good chance for us to remember the real world every so often. Besides, didn't you say that you wanted to pick up specimens while you were here?"

He was too optimistic and too friendly that Mayuri often felt suspicious to the point of paranoia against this dashing captain. He pouted as he moved away his hand, not wanting to be touched by him again. "I did that already! Now I'm merely babysitting Nemu."

Jushiro coughed, his white hair falling over his shoulder and his pale skin looking flushed. Suddenly one of his 3rd seats, the loud rambunctious one, appeared and asked if he needed any assistance. With a wave of his hand, he dismissed him, telling he was just fine and only needed a second to rest.
Mayuri arched one of his thin brows as Jushiro turned to him again, "No one said that you had to baby-sit her. If it would make you feel better, you could perhaps take a nap and trust your Lieutenant."

He practically jumped in his seat at the suggestion that he should sleep outside. "Sleep here? With all these people around and that one crazy Quincy still running about for my head? You must be very naïve in thinking that you would still be safe when you're asleep." He waved a finger to him, a habit that he had developed when speaking to stupid little shinigami freshmen.

Jushiro took a step back, his eyes widening. It seemed that even the kindly captain's patience could run out with the right person, "Well, it was just a suggestion. Perhaps this is your chance to take a break, look at how stressed you're-"

"Wait!" Mayuri interrupted. His head turned in every direction; the sunglasses slid even lower on the bridge of his nose as hand was held across his brow. "Where's Nemu?"

The tracking device he had inplanted in her decades before had made it effortless for him to look for her. True, he knew where she was practically all the time, but who could tell what a naïve and foolish girl like her was doing now and again.

She stood atop rocks, looking out at the waters. The wind blew her braid over her shoulder.

He demanded harshly as he stalked up the incline of the rocky hill to where she stood solemnly. "What are you doing out here, Nemu?"

She turned around, her hands still tucked together in front of her, "Mayuri-sama." she gestured with her hand towards the horizon, "The water, I like to watch the water from up here."

He secured the hat closer on his head to prevent it from flying out into the sea. Coming up close behind her, their shoulders almost touching, he barbed, "It's practically the same as what we have down in the Soul Society. Honestly, who taught you such stupid drivel, Nemu?"

She bowed her head forward, her voice delicate and apologetic, "Forgive me, Mayuri-sama, my deepest apologies."

Without warning, he reached out for her and grabbed her, her back touched his front deliciously. The sunglasses prodded into her skin, he cared not about it. His hand fondled her breast, the other secured her hips close to his. He felt her shudder, she moved against him. His lips brushed by her cheekbone. She responded back to him, turning her head to kiss him on the mouth. He squeezed her tighter to him, she sighed loudly, her voice high. Their lips parted and his mouth relocated to her shoulder, biting the skin there. "Mayuri-sama!" she moaned.

Suddenly, she was swept off her feet - literally. Her feet stumbled over each other as he pushed her to the very edge of the hill, one faulty step or push could send her over.

Her face remained indifferent, but he could feel the pounding of her heart under his hand.
He hissed in her ear, "Nemu. I hold you, your life, in my very hands. Who could possibly care if I were to throw you into the waters? I could kill you here and now and you would let me, not even screaming or bothering to fight back. Am I right?" His tongue licked her cheek. He felt her shiver in his hold.

"Yes, Mayuri-sama." she replied obediently.

His other hand smoothed her hair, traced down the length of her neck, to the other breast. "No one would ever know."

The water rushed loudly, as though crying for him to throw it a sacrifice. His nose brushed by her ear, "No one would ever care." One of his hands moved upwards to the base of her neck, ensnaring her in his hold. Her pulse was wild under his hand. He tightened it.

Then he supposed that the joke was going far enough. Mayuri pulled her far away from the edge, closer to the inland. Reader, it was a most dramatic change to see him first as predator with prey, nowas stern father scolding daughter.
They faced each other, one hand gripped her shoulder while the other held her face, "Stay close to the shore. Don't go standing near cliffs, you imbecile. A klutz like you is most likely to slip and fall into the waters. And what if it was someone other than I who found you here? Where would you be then? Do you have any idea how much time and materials I wasted in designing and constructing you? I'm not going to let all that go down the drain because of your stupid 'like' for the water. If you like that, it would've been better if I had just stayed back home and locked you in the bathroom! Or kept you in a tank!"

Her eyes lowered themselves humbly to the ground, "Please, forgive me, Mayuri-sama."

He let her go, she stumbled unsteadily for a few steps, and then he turned around, heading back to his seat. He didn't even need to look behind, she would always follow him. That was the way he programmed her soul. "Dear me, what a hassle you are. You should consider yourself lucky that I don't just abandon you up here altogether and be done with you."

The walk back was silent, eyes were on them again.

Reader, I suppose that when they saw that Nemu had no bruises on that pale skin of hers, they must've thought it was not so big a problem. He sat down in his chair - the zanpakuto still rested by his chair - and resumed his reading, the sunglasses sliding down the bridge of his nose. She stood in front of him obediently, her back straight, her arms in front of her and joined by her hands. He sighed and gestured to the group of squealing and laughing girls in the waters, "Do whatever you want while we're here, but you will stay in my sights. If I have to get up and look for you again, I'll throw you into the waters and let you fend for yourself."

The girl nodded her head and casually went into the waters again. From afar, he heard the tall blonde shinigami lieutenant of the 10th division ask Nemu where she had went off to. He had thought that he would be able to have the chance to finish reading at the beach when a familiar shadow crossed over his legs once more. He gave a loud sigh and looked up to see Jushiro and one of his third seats, a small one quite different from the first, behind him.

He reprimanded gently, "You shouldn't be so harsh on your daughter, Kurotsuchi-san. She's only curious."

How many times had he heard that sort of lecture before? His daughter was his own to treat. They had not been there nor supportive when she was born. They had not known or felt the constant struggle with her, to bring her to life and to insure that she would not be a failure. What right did they have to lecture him when they did not understand? Nemu was different from people and he knew that, he just wondered if anyone else would bother trying to learn that.
"When you have children of your own, then we'll talk. Nemu is too stupid to understand about anything." He smiled that grin of his, that Cheshire grin, "But, I guess that's what experiments are for: always room for improvements."

"But you shouldn't scare her. Use this time to make peace with her just in case. Something could happen to one of you someday and you will never have that chance again." Jushiro informed him.

Mayuri swore, more to himself than to the white haired captain, "Nothing's ever going to happen as long as Nemu does what she's told."

Then there was a strange noise. Thumping and thudding. A large dust cloud was coming towards them. Mayuri was wondering what the hell it was. The question was soon answered. At the head of the dust cloud was Yachiru running like the road runner, holding something that was obviously of great importance to those who were running after her with fury on their faces. She leapt over Mayuri`s chair, sand flying up everywhere in his face.

"Ice cream! Ice cream! Ice cream!" Yachiru shrieked gaily.

Reader, Mayuri's temper was shorter than anyone else's in the Soul Society, perhaps only being rivalled by Kukichi Byakuya. And so in a rage, he threw in Yachiru's direction from his pockets little stones that his division had developed some decades ago. What was so special about these stones was BOOM! they were bombs.
But Reader, an amazing sight appeared as the dust and sand settled. Uryu Ishida stood stoically before Mayuri, protecting a majority of the women behind him as he summoned up enough spiritual power to subdue the explosion, a basket of ice-cream was in his other hand. Yachiru was first to pick up a chocolate pop. There was a slight hint of admiration in Nemu`s voice as she said, "Quincy-san…."

Mayuri walked past the young Quincy, bopping Nemu square on the top of her head, "Nemu, did we come all the way here just for you to fraternize?"

The expression on Ishida's face was practically priceless. It was obvious that he had not recognized who it was before him. He eyed the sun hat, the sunglasses, the flip-flops… perhaps the dead giveaway was the many scars and stitching that covered Mayuri`s limbs. "Kurotsuchi Mayuri?" he questioned with shock in his voice.

There was a nasty grin from Mayuri. "Not even a -san? Are you that disrespectful to your elders? You would think that your father had taught you some manners when you were young. No wonder everyone finds you so unbearable. What a rude little boy you are, Quincy." There was a hearty chuckle from him.

Ishida was fuming, his aura burning him like fire. His fist clenched as he tried to think of some way to retort. Much of his anger had faded since their initial meeting as enemies, yet there was still some hostility between them that caused much antagonizing from both parties.
"You!… You!… " Ishida stuttered, trying hard to think of an insult that would likely hit home with this reprobate.
He was virtually speechless, Reader, when one of Mayuri`s fingers slipped beneath one of the headphones covering his ears and he saw that there was no ear at all but a circle where it was most likely removed and some sort of mechanism that resembled blinders installed. He turned green at the gruesome sight, but his disgust was quickly forgotten when he saw that Mayuri`s attention to him had swiftly shifted to his nubile lieutenant.

"Nemu. What's that?" Mayuri asked quite charmingly as Yachiru was handing out the treats from the ice-cream basket that had somehow left Ishida's hands and appeared in Yachiru's quick sticky fingers.

Nemu held it up to his face as he raised the sunglasses over his brow, pushing the sun hat upwards; golden eyes dilated exponentially and returned to its normal state as he regarded it with interest and curiosity.

"Hey! Don't ignore me like that!"

"They call it a popsicle, Mayuri-sama." she explained to him, "It is similar to shaved ice. But the method that they eat this is that they suck on it or bite it." She unwrapped it and it was a light orange colour that smelled faintly sweet.

His hand wrapped over hers as he raised it to his mouth. It was horribly cold, but he could endure it for the sweetness of it. His golden eyes were focused on her as he took the popsicle in his mouth. He gleefully noticed that she had a growing blush on her face as she watched him as intensely as he was watching her watching him. She licked the corner of her lips. He smiled when he saw that, the ends of his mouth curled like that of a jester, the popsicle left his mouth with a loud slurrpp. With the popsicle free from Mayuri's grasp, she took a quick taste; licking the very tip with the end of her tongue, her lips pursing into a round O.

He then held out his hand, fingers spread wide, "Now, give it to me. Nemu."

"Yes, Mayuri-sama." she nodded and handed him the popsicle to which he resumed his sucking of it(not like that, you pervs! Most likely how any one of us would eat a super cold popsicle!). Reader, his eyes appeared to glaze over and his temperment had the strangest reaction that it seemed to be growing gentler and softer, playful almost in a good way. Adjusting his sunglasses, before putting the popsicle back in his mouth, Mayuri wrapped an arm around Nemu's shoulder and led her away from the Quincy and everyone else, who was already partaking of their ice cream and popsicles.

"Sayonara, Quincy!" Mayuri bid to him, his back to the dumbstruck Ishida; who, Reader, had regarded Mayuri's first taste of the popsicle with disgust and shock.

He could not believe that no one else around him had noticed. The sight had a zest of lemony incest that seemed to appear as though Mayuri had successfully seduced the passive Nemu! And Reader, he wondered just where they were going because as they passed by the chair far off in the distance where Mayuri had occupied himself, he picked up his zanpakuto and seemed to be heading somewhere far with the young girl on his arm.

Ishida shook his fist at the departing mad scientist and his daughter, "Kurotsuchi Mayuri! You!… You!… Pervert!"

A reason why Mayuri might seem a little too friendly in the ending is because he seems to like sweets as seen in episode 257, particularly wagashi(cake). Plus, Shunsui remarked that to Nanao that to bring Kurotsuchi some cake would put him in a good mood. Also, I hope I established that canon weakness of his in "Hand". I hope you enjoyed this.

Now, I had just opened a new can on worms with the ending. Just where is Mayuri going with Nemu(nudge nudge, wink wink)? If any of you guys would like me to continue for maybe a last part, some fanservice perhaps, then please tell me so with ideas in a review or send it in a PM.

Hope you enjoyed and I am always ready to accept any requests.