Phan Oneshot - Alone in company
Phil sat up in bed and looked at his star clock, which projected the time (along with a starry sky) on the ceiling.
6 am. But he could've sworn that he had heard something downstairs… Something weird, some kind of noise... But he was sleepy, and couldn't make out what it was then. Maybe he had imagined it? Phil fumbled for his glasses on his bedside table, and stood up. The heating was off, and his pyjamas - red ones with reindeer on them, the ones Dan had got him as a Christmas gift, but which had turned out to be a little small for Phil - didn't protect him from the winter cold, and he rubbed his bare ankles together. Suddenly, a quiet noise sounded again. Phil couldn't quite make out what it was, but it froze his heart in fear. Burglars? Maybe he shouldn't go downstairs… He grabbed the closest things to him, an umbrella, and, as quietly as he could, padded downstairs.
Once he was down, the noise sounded again, but closer. The kitchen? But that was where the knives were… A thousand unlikely scenarios ran through his head as Phil opened the door to the kitchen, and saw… Dan, on the floor, hunched over his computer. Phil immediately burst out laughing.
"Dan, its you! Why are you up so late? Or should I say early? I thought you were a burglar, you scared me…" Phil said mid-laugh. However, Dan didn't reply. "Dan?"
Only then did Phil, his eyes focusing on Dan's face, notice there were tears in Dan's eyes.
"Hey… are you okay?"
Dan sure was acting strangely. He practically threw his laptop away from him gave Phil a watery smile.
"Of course! Why would you think differently? Just fine.", Dan said quietly, and rubbed his eyes. "Stayed up a bit too late on the internet, that's all."
Phil crouched down and reached for the laptop, and was just about to lift it up and give it back to Dan when Dan shouted at him,
"Don't touch it! It's mine! Don't you dare!"
Phil flinched, but didn't retract his hand. "Sure, I was just giving it back… Dan, are you sure you're okay?"
"Get. Away. From. IT!" Dan roared.
Phil scrambled back, pressing his back against the counter. He'd started crying, too, tears of indignation and fear pressing their way out of his eyes.
Dan grabbed his laptop and walked to the doorway, stopping there and looking back at Phil. Seeing his tears, Dan whispered, more to himself than to Phil,
"What have I done?", and bolted to his room. Phil heard his door lock.
Phil tried to make sense of what had happened, but couldn't. He stood up shakily, filled up a glass of water and made his way to Dan's room, where he pressed his ear against the door.
"Dan?", he said softly. "Dan, please let me in."
There was no reply.
"Dan, let me in. I know you're not asleep, and I know I won't be able to sleep either. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have touched your laptop. I won't do it again. Please let me in."
There was a sound, a peculiar mix of a sob and a laugh, and the lock on the door turned. Phil gently pushed the door open and sat next to Dan, on the floor.
"I'm sorry, Phil. I… I'm an idiot."
"Hey… no hard feelings. You probably had something private on there. Here, I brought you a drink."
Dan gratefully took the drink, but because of his awkward sitting position, he accidentally knocked the glass over and spilled half of the water down his top. He immediately started crying again.
"I'm so useless. I meant to be strong, I wanted to protect you, but how can I if I'm such a wreck? I can never keep anyone with me long enough… They always see the true me after a while, and leave… Now you've seen it. Happy?", Dan said thickly.
"No. No, I'm definitely not happy." Phil pried the glass out of Dan's hand and held both of his hands, facing him. "Look at me, Dan. No, look into my eyes. I will never, ever leave you. Gosh, you are such an idiot! Why did you think that you had to be strong all the time? Why ever does that mean that you're worse in my eyes? You're human, Dan! I could never figure out how you were so closed up all the time, why you never showed anything behind the bravado, but now I know. Dan, trust me, please. I know you don't talk much about your past but perhaps it wasn't one of the best. I promise, I won't leave you. Ever."
"Thank you. Thank you. I- I'm so sorry, Phil. That stupid laptop-"
"It's ok, I should'nt've-"
"No, no. See, I keep a diary in there, albeit an electronic one. It's where I put everything down that I can't keep inside me. The diary is never enough, so I routinely go downstairs, and let it all out."
"Why have you done this to yourself? You're so lonely… It doesn't have to be this way."
Phil let go of Dan's hands and wrapped him in a tight hug. "Next time... come into my room. Talk to me, I like talking to you. Just don't be alone. Never be alone."
Dan and Phil stayed like this, hugging in an awkward position, on the floor, but they fell asleep quicker than they had ever had in their beds. And Dan, every night from then on, found himself in Phil's bed. They never said anything more about that night, but when Dan thought Phil was asleep, he'd tell him about the problems that were on his mind. And Dan was never alone again.