AN: After watching X-men First Class this couple became a favorite. They are such a tragic love story and I just thought that this song fit them perfectly. This was inspired by the song Beautiful Disaster by Kelly Clarkson. Hope you enjoy.
Beautiful Disaster
He drowns in his dreams
An exquisite extreme I know
He's as damned as he seems
And more heaven than a heart could hold
And if I try to save him
my whole world could cave in
it just ain't right
Lord it just ain't right
Charles laid in Erik's arms watching him sleep. He seemed so much calmer while he slept. Charles smiled, a sad smile, as he thought about this man that he had fallen in love with. He watched Erik struggle in his dreams like he did every night. Allowing his mind to open up to Erik's he filled his dreams with joy. He loved this man even if he was broken beyond repair. He wanted to save him, to show Erik that this world wasn't so terrible, but no matter what he did he knew deep down in his heart that he would be unable to save him. That no matter how hard he tried he wouldn't be able to show Erik how amazing the world really was. He knew if he tried he would get hurt. Even knowing that he knew for a fact that there was more good in Erik than evil, but Erik was unable to see that.
Oh and I don't know
I don't know what he is after
but he is so beautiful
such a beautiful disaster
and If I could hold on
through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful?
Or just a beautiful disaster
He had known from the start what Erik was after his only mistake was that he had always thought that Erik would be the better man. Everything that had happened to Erik had made him beautiful and he wanted to hold on to that perfection. He still remembered vividly that day on that beach in Cuba. It had hurt to get shot but what hurt him the most was watching Erik walk away. He had barely recovered from that heartbreak, but he would never fully recover. He had wanted to hang onto Erik through the tears and through all the laughter they shared during their training and in their travels. Those memories were very precious to him and every time they clashed he was forced to face the truth that his Erik was gone.
He's magic and myth
As strong as I believe
a tragedy with
more damage than a soul should see
And do I try to change him?
So hard not to blame him
Hold on tight
Hold on tight
He could remember all the laughter and it kept reminding him that the love he'd had for Erik was pure magic. As time passed he'd come to realize that Erik was as strong as he'd believed, in fact, Erik was far stronger. He found it so hard to blame his pain and his paralysis on Erik almost everyday he could only think of the man he'd fallen in love with and he wanted to hold on to the the good memories. He thought back to the memories he'd seem when he entered Erik's mind all the damage the hell he'd been through. He flinched and tried to stop the memories from flooding his mind. With a sighed he wheeled out of his study and went into his bedroom. He couldn't deal with all the memories in that house.
Oh 'cause I don't know
I don't know what he's after
But he's so beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster
And If I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful?
Or just a beautiful disaster
It wasn't like he hadn't known what Erik was after. He'd always known that Erik wanted revenge and no one else mattered when it came to his goal. He had wondered at first if he could keep holding on would they have a happy ending or just end up hurting each other over and over again. He couldn't remember how many times he'd cried and pleaded with Erik for him to stay with them. How many times he had asked him to stay with him to help teach the younger mutants. Even during the rare visits that Erik made after the incident in Cuba he would still ask the same questions. Only to receive the same answers...
I'm longing for love and the logical
But he's only happy hysterical
I'm waiting for some kind of miracle
Waited so long
So long
All he had ever wanted was for Erik to love him and to stay with him for the rest of their lives. He didn't think that was such a terrible thing to want. However, Erik was never happy... He was only happy when he was starting trouble, chaos, and destruction. He had waited for some miracle that would bring them back together. He had waited and forgiven everything that Erik had done from the incident in Cuba to all the people he'd killed. He had come to fear Erik, no not Erik, his Erik was dead all that was left was Magneto. Magneto was a monster that didn't care for any live, yet their were times when he would still be his Erik. It broke his heart to what the news to watch all the damage that Erik caused.
He's soft to the touch
But frayed at the end he breaks
He's never enough
And still he's more than I can take
He could still remember the way Erik would kiss his lips his hand resting on the side of Charles face as he distracted the professor. He could still remember the tenderness in every action. He had tried to help heal Erik but he'd always being afraid that Erik would break at the end. He hadn't been enough to heal Erik and Erik hadn't been enough for Charles, he wasn't good for him, he knew. Even though he knew all that all he wanted was Erik. Erik with his sweet smile and laughter. Erik with his turtle-neck sweaters and broken eyes. Erik Erik Erik... He missed Erik even years later he still missed him. He missed everything that made Erik the person he'd been back then. He had always been more then he could handle, but that didn't stop him from loving him.
Oh 'cause I don't know
I don't know what he's after
But he's so beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster
And If I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful?
Or just a beautiful disaster
Everything had come full swing though. Everything had come to it's conclusion. Erik had abandoned them he'd gone as far as trying to use Charles to destroy all humans. For Charles that had been the final straw. Being so close to Erik only to watch him use him and walk away again it had hurt to much. It had killed a part of him. The next time that Erik came to visit him he found the windows closed... It would have been easy for him to break in, but he knew the meaning. Charles, his one true friend, his lover, had had enough. Charles with his soft, happy, blue eyes had finally given up on him. A part of Erik had known it would come to this he'd hurt Charles for years and all the other man did was forgive him and try to understand.
He's beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster
When their eyes met they both knew it was the end. That whatever happened in that house would decide their fate. As Charles was pulled out of his wheelchair Erik cried out he didn't want this. This hadn't been his intentions watching Charles get killed like that it had broken his heart. A part of him wanted to go back to change their course, their fates. He didn't want Charles to die that had never been his intentions... He had never wanted to kill the man he loved. Every time he closed his eyes he'd see Charles smiling at him with more love in his blue eyes then he'd ever felt in his live. He could remember Charles laughing as his students achieved their goals. He could remember how every time that he'd sent a letter to Charles asking him to meet with him he'd come. Every time he'd been in prison Charles had come to visit him no matter how painful it was for him, he'd always been there for him. But that hadn't been enough there love, however, had always been destined to be beautiful and it was until the end where it became a beautiful disaster.
Hope you all enjoyed. I hope you liked it. Reviews are welcomed.