It had been a year since he'd passed. A year since we'd lost him, and nothing had been the same since. Time didn't heal the wounds left from the sudden and unexpected taking away of the man who'd held us together nearly as much as I had. Nobody was really the same after that. Johnny had affected us all in ways we wouldn't have thought, and I was not an exception to this. However, I refused to let it show. I hid it in hopes that the crew wouldn't notice. I couldn't risk them noticing and have them view me any differently, have them less efficient because I wasn't at my best. Lead by example was the motto I'd always followed, even if example was doing shit extremely illegal. Maybe what I do is illegal, but so is the music on everyone's phone, so I don't want to fucking hear it.

But, I don't give a fuck. I love what I do, and I'm not changing that shit, even if it wasn't the same without Johnny. Nothing would change the fact that the Saints owned Steelport now, a white-hot vengeance leading us, even if some stray Deckers and Luchadores tried to take it back. They had gone as far as to band together, and would attack together. They never succeeded, their forces being way too damn weak for anything, even when they fought together. But, they did have an advantage. They come out of fucking nowhere. Literally. Kill ten of them, and a car randomly appears right the fuck in front of you. And then, fucking roadblocks. Pass there a minute ago, come back, and then they're all there. Waiting. Forever wondering how they're able to do shit that fast.

But, back to Johnny. He really was an amazing guy, but God forbid you piss him off, because that's not going to end well for anyone, except for maybe me. He wouldn't do anything to me, seeing as we had this mutual understanding that it wouldn't fix shit, and it'd be a never-ending cycle (also because we'd known each other so long that everything was predictable, and we couldn't fight each other. It wouldn't get anywhere, resulting in the never-ending cycle.) Good times were had, and I don't regret a single one. But, I do regret the day he died. I couldn't do anything to save him, couldn't do anything to step in and keep him alive, and that was the worst thing that could have happened.

I changed. I became vengeful and twice as ruthless as before. I didn't care anymore. I just wanted him back, and I knew nothing could ever bring Johnny back, and I wanted to make them suffer because of that. I wanted everyone responsible to suffer. I wanted to destroy the ones who made me lose him, and I did.

I completely tore the Syndicate into shreds. It took time, but I did it. I did it, and I'd do it again. They ripped a piece of me away, and even though it wouldn't bring him back, it gave me purpose. Except for the few Luchadores and Deckers left over attempting to get us out, no other gang has fucked with us since an example was made of the Syndicate.

In fact, since then, because of the fact we had a sense of security, I'd taken to secluding myself and only coming out to make the occasional public appearance to keep morale up, only so that I could take a moment for the first time in years to think and clear my head, so that I could mourn in peace and finally try to move on. I had once reached a point where I'd thought I was better, but the little progress I'd made had been completely ruined when I had stumbled upon a picture of days past that had Johnny, Carlos, Pierce, Shaundi, and myself in it, and we all looked happy in it.

I'd set myself so far back having found it, and I'd gone as far as to call Pierce and tell him that I needed him to come get it, because I couldn't bear to look at it, and it was then that he'd figured out something much more than the fact I had emotions.

Suddenly, my thoughts are interrupted by my phone ringing, the tell-tale sign Shaundi is calling being the chorus of Fire Water Burn. I pick it up and press the accept pop-up on the screen, and before I'm even able to say hello, she speaks.

"Hey, can you come to HQ?" she asks, and it's clear it's more of a demand than a request, only if judging by the tone of her voice.

"Uh, sure. I'll be there in a few. Have to go pick up my gun from Friendly Fire. Had some modifications done on it." That's a lie, but I'm in no hurry to get there, and I hang up the phone. There's nothing else to be discussed, or so I thought, until I get a text message from her that says, "u hung up 2 soon. have surprise hq. hurry."

And with that, I'm really not in a hurry now. The last surprise she had nearly killed me. She'd set me up on a blind date with someone who was a Decker. She'd claimed she hadn't known, and I believed her for the most part. In any case, I could have taken one, but there he'd brought ten others with him, and they were armed.

I was not. I grab the keys to my vehicle with a quiet huff, and start to head out towards it. Hopefully, the surprise wasn't nearly as bad as last time.