Prologue

"It's so exciting! So exciting! So very exciting! There are still so many things I don't know about in this city! Even as I speak, something new is appearing, emerging, and something else is fading away. How can I leave a place where so many humans gather? HUMAN LOVE! I love humans! I love you all!"

In Ikebukuro, Tokyo, strange groups of people gather: youths who yearn for an extraordinary life, trouble-making hooligans, crazy stalker girls, informants who sell information for their own enjoyment, underground doctors who treat unconventional 'ailments', high schoolers obsessed with the occult and, of course, a headless black biker.

Together, these strange characters tell a very unusual story, and very intriguing one at that. Twisted as they are, however, they still can talk about love.

This is a twisted story:

"Dave! Dave! Are you home? I'm here again! Oh my, you accidentally locked the door again? Now I can't get in!"

Danger, danger. The stalker has invaded my home. She's been banging on my door and she won't even ring the doorbell. What the hell is she thinking?

"The door's locked! Dave, you aren't sleeping, are you? Ah—it's my first time calling on a guy while he's asleep! I'm so bold!"

Warning, warning…I've been on my toes since last week. Last week I saved two bumpkins from being harassed by some hooligan. I'd asked and found out that they were going to the same high school as I was and would be studying in the same first-year class. But I never expected for things to turn out this way. The other girl was a polite little goody two shoes, but this one…

"Well…actually I…I've always liked Dave! Do you remember? During the entrance exam, I was sitting right beside Dave! The guy sitting to my right had this totally awesome name like 'Cody Andersen' and I wanted to know what kind of name the person on my left had, so I turned and—it was love at first sight! From that day on I've always remembered Dave's name! Even though I didn't have the guts to confess to you that day…but just last week, Dave saved me, and then I thought at that moment…ah, this must be fate! Do you know how much courage that gave me? So– So, let me look at you again, won't you? Dave, I really want to look at that strong, energetic face of yours! Please please, pretty please, Dave!"

Caution, caution. After I saved this kid, she'd secretly followed me home. And she did it every day of the week after that. Even after I told her to fuck off plenty of times. That crap she shouted just now? I've heard it two thousand times.

"Don't tell me you're ill, Dave?! Are you so sick that you can't answer me? That's no good! Hurry and open the door, Dave! Since the day of the entrance exam, I've been looking up stuff about you, Dave! I know your birthday, about your family…everything about you!"

Police. Police. I told her I was going to call the police—she'd only backed down after I told her that.

Three hours after the invasion, I guessed that the girl had already gone home, so I decided to buy some stuff at the convenience store downstairs. As I held the toothpaste I bought in my hand, images of that princess girl flashed across my mind.

My first impression of her was a rather pretty girl with a touch of maturity and sophistication. Perhaps 'beautiful lady' would be a better description. But why would a lovely girl like her have no boyfriend? What I'd just experienced was the perfect answer to that question. No matter how cute that girl was, I would still politely decline her affections. If it had been someone who really wanted a girlfriend, they wouldn't have to think twice about accepting her love; as for me, I'm not interested. Not even a little. Because I already have a 'girlfriend'.

But what about the school entrance ceremony tomorrow? As I walked down the narrow corridor, towards my apartment, I kept on thinking about it.

If I go to school tomorrow, I'll have to meet that girl. I'd be better off not going. Ah…it doesn't matter. I have a girlfriend already. She's quiet and beautiful, a far cry from that girl. As long as I'm with her, it doesn't matter whether I go to high school or not. Maybe I should just work at Sis' office and be one of those part-time student workers or something.

Ah I remember! I finally remember why I saved those girls. Even though these are completely different matters, that girl really looked like my girlfriend, so I'd saved her. Now that I think of it, it was a totally stupid thing to do. I'd saved her just because she looked like her, but how was I to know that she was actually this kind of person?

I kept thinking about it as I slipped my house keys into the lock.

Eh? Weird.

—The door's unlocked.

Danger danger—my whole body was stricken with alarm.

Sirens were wailing; I opened the door to see a pair of girl's shoes.

"Da-Dave…"

As I stepped into the apartment, I saw that stalker girl standing there. Just standing still.

It was then I came to realize that, even though I was looking at the girl who had broken into my house, I was strangely calm. Because I was looking at the expression on her face the whole time.

So I forced a few words out of my mouth and they were cold, colder than I'd expected. So cold that even I was surprised.
"So you saw it?"

"Eh…that…I…uh…"

The expression that unfolded on her face was totally different from before. It was uneasy and full of fear.

…Hmph, so even she was capable of making those expressions.

Then I was sure. I was sure—this kid had seen what she shouldn't have seen.

"That…that…Dave…I…uh…I won't tell anyone! Even if you're like this, I still really like Dave! Um…so…so…don't worry! No matter what kind of hobbies you have, I'll definitely accommodate them…so…that…that's…"

The tables were turned. Now she was the one who couldn't attack.

"It's alright."

"Dave!"

After what I'd said, the stalker sounded hopeful once again.

"It's alright."

"Da…ve?"

She'd noticed the coldness in my glare. In that moment, a cloud of unease drifted across her face. I wanted to see an expression of complete despair, so I repeated:

"It's alright."

"Dave!"

When Sis brought home two underlings that night, I was sitting in the living room, eating cup noodles. The two underlings deftly placed the stalker girl's body into a suitcase and brought it out. Sis scanned the room, looked at the bloodstains on the wall, and then hugged me tightly:

"It's alright, don't worry about a thing."

Even though there was some warmth to her embrace, I found that it was rather difficult to eat while she held me.

"Dave, you don't have to worry about anything. Your sister will take care of everything, understand?"

"Sis, I don't care about that girl. I only care about 'her'."

"So Dave was the one who took her…it doesn't matter, you just leave everything to your sister. It's no problem; as long as I'm here, I won't let anything happen to Dave…especially those horrible police officers—I'll never let them take you away, never, never, so you can just sit back and relax."

After Sis finished talking, she gave the underlings a few orders and left.

I don't think I should go work at Sis's office because it seems that Sis has some underworld connections the company doesn't know about. Like those underlings today. They saw a dead person and just acted on instruction without flinching even once. That's not a good thing.

I'm not going to work with those evil people. If I do, won't I become like them?

And if I become like them and get arrested, she'll be so lonely. I'll never let anything like that happen—I'll never let her be lonely.

As I watched Sis's underlings stoically scrubbing the bloodstains off the wall, I forced down those overcooked cup noodles.

Ah, those noodles tasted really bad.

This is a very twisted story.

—A twisted…love story.

Supersilver46- And that's a wrap, I really hoped you enjoyed my new story, it's mainly based of Durarara, which I've become obsessed with, anyway I'll see you guys next time!