All Kinds of Wrong, a glee fanfic

All Kinds of Wrong

By Laura Schiller

Based on: Glee

"What's up?" asked Tina, after hearing Artie swear under his breath for the third time in as many minutes.

"Nothing," he muttered. "Damn blocks just falling too fast, that's all."

They were at the school library for one of their so-called study sessions which, as usual, had devolved into Artie playing Tetris on his laptop and Tina trying not to listen. Bored, irritated and concerned in equal measure, she glanced over his shoulder. "Level four? C'mon, you're a wizard at that game. Now I know you've got something on your mind."

He shrugged.

"It's Sugar Motta, isn't it."

Artie slammed his laptop shut, pushed his chair away from the table, and leaned back in it with a sigh that fluttered the pages of Tina's math book.

"Thought so," she said through gritted teeth. "I could seriously beat her up for you if you want. Go all House of Flying Daggers on her skinny ass."

He cracked a smile at that, but shook his head. "Stand down, Cohen-Chang. It's no big deal."

"No big deal?" Tina huffed. "First she made you and Rory practically bankrupt yourselves, competing over who could buy her the most expensive presents. And then she told the whole club that you both were pity cases for her, and she only picked Rory over you because she felt worse for him than for you. How is that not a big deal?"

"She didn't mean anything by it. Insensitivity to social cues is a part of her condition, that's all."

Tina swung around. "Oh, c'mon. You don't seriously believe that she's got Asperger's Syndrome, do you?"

Artie flushed. "Just because she's self-diagnosed - "

"Listen. You know how every time that girl says something rude, she says 'Sorry, Asperger's'? Well, I've been working as a summer camp counselor for three years. I know kids with Asperger's. When Mike and I – when we kissed for the first time - " She hesitated, but as Artie's expression did not change, she took it as a cue to continue. "Johnny Kim took a picture of us on his cell phone and sent it to everyone on his e-mailing list. That kiss was a gossip item all across Ohio's Asian community within the hour, and Mike got pulled out of the program by his dad for inappropriate behavior. Do you think Johnny apologized for that?"

Artie raised his yellow-gloved hands in a shrug. After a deep breath, Tina went on, packing her things as she spoke: shutting books, gathering looseleaf paper, zipping up her pencil case, all with hands that shook with anger on her friend's behalf.

"He did, but not until Mr. Hsiung, the supervisor, sat us all down to explain in detail why we went wrong. Mike and I, for dragging our private lives into a public rehearsal of The King and I, and yes," she ducked her head, "In my case, cheating on you, although Mr. Hsiung didn't know that. Johnny for taking advantage of that and getting us into trouble. It took a long time to get it into his tech-obsessed little head what the difference is between a reporter and a voyeur, and that just because he's got a smartphone with high-definition picture quality doesn't mean he needs to use it all the time. My point being that he didn't know – as opposed to Sugar, who knows exactly how offensive she is and just doesn't care!"

A middle-aged, dyed-blonde librarian with glasses on a chain glared at Tima across the room, holding a finger to her lips. Tina, who hadn't even noticed the rising volume of her voice and the loud rustle of papers as she packed her bag, abruptly fell silent. Artie, meanwhile, who had been listening to her outburst with tight lips and folded hands, looked back at her for a long, silent moment and reached for his laptop. He stuffed it into his bookbag, hung it off its customary place on the back of his chair, and began to wheel away.

"I'm such an idiot," he muttered over his shoulder. "How come every girl I've ever dated was a liar, a cheater or both? And why do I still fall for them?"

Tina swallowed a lump in her throat and got behind his chair so he could not see her face.

"Sorry," he added softly. "You know I don't mean you."

"I did lie about having a stutter," she said, fighting to keep her voice even. "And I kissed Mike while you and I were still together."

"Hey, be fair. I was so wrapped up in my stupid Halo marathon that summer, you weren't even sure if we were together." A familiar, friendly note crept into his voice as she wheeled him out into the hallway. "Besides, you confessed both those things to me without me having to ask. You're the most honest person I know."

She wiped her eyes. "Thanks."

When they reached the auditorium, Tina was relieved to find that the rest of the New Directions had not arrived yet. Something about the dark rows of seats, the spotlight gleaming on the grand piano and the shiny floor of the stage, and the smell of musty seats, seemed to encourage heart-to-heart conversations; perhaps the wish to fill that wide, melancholy space with human warmth was the same instinct that made people talk around an outdoor campfire.

"Artie?" she asked as she pushed him along the ramp.

"Hmm?"

"If you don't mind my being really honest … " She let go of his chair, perched on the piano stool, and watched as he wheeled to face her. "I think I know why you have this track record with relationships. One of the reasons, anyway."

Artie raised an eyebrow above his spectacle frame. "Go ahead," he drawled. "Enlighten me."

Tina cleared her throat, folded her hands in her lap, and fidgeted on the hard round surface of the stool. "Look, I don't know how to say this the right way, but … you always go for the disabled girls," she said. "At least girls who say they're disabled. Me and my fake stutter, Brittany and … and whatever she has, Sugar and her fake Asperger's … it's like you're settling for them because you're afraid no one else would take you. Which is all kinds of wrong."

Artie's eyes flashed like blue icicles in an Ohio winter, making Tina wish she'd bitten her tongue.

"You mean instead of normal people, I'm settling for damaged goods like me?" The voice that had turned Sugar's head with a velvet-smooth rendition of "Let Me Love You" was sharp as a knife. "You're right, Tina. That is all kinds of wrong."

"No, no, wait, that's not - " She held out her hands, a peacemaking gesture which, two years ago, would have made him roll in close to take her hands in his. Even now, he stopped in his backward motion to listen.

"That's not what I meant and you know it," she said, in a steadier tone. "I think you're awesome, Artie. I always have, even before I got up the nerve to talk to you in the sign-up line for Glee that first day. I know – I know – there's a girl out there who can make you just as happy as I am."

"Or a guy." Artie's face softened into a smile. "I wouldn't say no to a gentleman with a smile like Mr. Martinez's."

Tina giggled. "Now, maybe she – or he – will be handicapable and maybe they won't. But you can't go looking for them based on nothing else. Disability doesn't define a person, remember? You taught me that."

Artie sighed. "It's just … I'm looking for someone who really gets it. How it feels to be a charity case, the stupid jokes, those damn looks of surprise whenever I get something right. Like wow, the crip can sing! or who knew someone who can't walk could direct a Christmas special?"

"You think I don't 'get it'?" Tina asked. "Even though I've been doing my best for two and a half years?"

Artie shook his head ruefully and looked down at his gloves.

"And," with a pointed look, "You think Sugar Motta does? That girl's got all the empathy of Coach Sylvester after a bad Cheerios practice."

Artie let out a pained little laugh. "She did tell me once she was embarrassed to be seen with me 'cause my legs are thinner than her arms."

"They are not." Tina raised her eyes to the ceiling. "She's built like a toothpick. What kind of ridiculous reason is that?"

"At least she's honest." His mouth twisted at the word as if he'd bitten on a lemon. "At least I thought she was. I guess I thought … if someone like her who's all loud and out there, someone with a condition that doesn't let her hide her feelings … if I could get someone like that to like me, she'd really mean it. Enough to stick with me, I mean … instead of letting someone hotter steal her away."

He smoothed the black fabric of his trousers, frowning down at his useless legs. She knew he must be thinking about Mike, whose sculpted body and magnificent dancing had been such a blow to his rival's self-esteem, and Santana, whom he'd never really forgiven for manipulating Brittany as she had.

"The right person wouldn't find anyone hotter than you," Tina assured him. "Trust me. If Justin Bieber himself came to this school and asked me out, I'd say no, because Mike Chang is the only man for me."

"Not because you hate getting photographed?" Artie teased.

"There's that." They shared a wry smile.

"My point is," she said, "That you should try for the smartest, nicest, and all-around coolest person you can find, not just the ones you think are in your league. You're my best friend, and you deserve the best."

She held out her hands once more and he squeezed them tightly, his blue eyes warm as summer rain with friendship and gratitude.

"Word," he said, half joking, half serious, as he let go of her and tapped the arms of his chair. "Any girl at this school would be lucky to take a ride on this, yo."

"You know it." She beamed.

"I also know what song would be perfect for my next solo," he said, fishing an iPod with two tiny speakers from the front pocket of his bag. "'Haven't Met You Yet' by Michael Bublé."

Tina clapped her hands together and bounced, which was all the encouragement he needed. When their fellow New Directions wandered into the auditorium, followed eventually by Mr. Schue, they came upon the sight of Artie rocking in his chair, Tina twirling around the stage, and both of them singing contentedly along to the thin sound of the iPod at full volume:

"I know someday it'll all turn up.
You'll make me work so we can work to work it out.
Oh, I promise you, kid, I'll give so much more than I get …
I just haven't met you yet!"