Title: A Winter Night's Dream
Written for the ficexchange_mix number two
Word Count: 4,862
Pairing: Gabriel/Sam, Dean/Castiel
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: A couple f-bombs, vague hint of wing!kink, other then that this is safe flying.
Summery: Being stuck in the North in December is not Sam's idea of a good time, realizing what he has with Gabriel might just make him change his mind.
Sam had never been much of a fan of cold weather, preferring sunny days and green grass to the harsh glare of snow and biting cold air. So when they wound up in New York for a hunt, in December, Sam was understandably less then happy. For once Dean was sharing his feelings on the matter and they both agreed to finish this as quickly as possible then get the Hell out of dodge.
Though, Sam was almost reconsidering, at least a little 'cause lets face it Christmas just isn't the same unless there's at least three feet of snow on the ground. And Christmas was just around the corner after all. Sam is rather hopeful that this year might end a little better then the last few they've had.
His sacrifice ended the Apocalypse he'd jumpstarted, then the ever elusive God had freed him from the cage and sent Sam back to his brother. The reunion had been…interesting to say the least but so right. Dean had been miserable with domestic life and honestly Sam couldn't blame him. He'd had no right to ask what he had of his brother, Sam more then anyone knew just how impossible it is to turn your back on what is quite literally your life. Hunting was they did, all they could do and really, Sam didn't mind that anymore.
More then anything Sam was just so happy to be where he belonged, with his brother. Home. Because despite everything that's happened, the Winchester Brothers are actually closer then ever. They have been tied together by fate and love and they know now that nothing can break that. The relief that comes with finding that one place you belong without a shadow of a doubt is indescribable and overwhelming.
And best of all; they're not alone anymore. Castiel, the Angel who sacrificed everything for them, is as loyal now as before and more often then not he's around to lend a hand on the hunts. According to him, Heaven is on the mend, though he does still have to throw down a few pow-wows with Angels who doubt his God-given powers. Those times are becoming far and few between though and as such Castiel has spent much of his time with them. Dean couldn't be happier about this and Sam is just so relieved that they've finally moved passed the eye-fucking stage and into the actual fucking stage. Although, he really wishes they'd be more careful about where they do it because Sam's seen more of his brother and the Angel then he ever needed. Separate rooms have become a necessity in these days. Sam doesn't mind, not at all because Dean is so happy now and that alone makes Sam happy.
Mostly, but he's missing something in all this and he has a pretty good idea what it is because it's sitting right across from him and chewing absently on a Snickers bar.
The biggest surprise in all this is the return of Gabriel only days after Sam's own revival. The Archangel is an odd addition to their group simply due to the complete surprise of it. Like Sam, he'd been gone, as good as dead until suddenly he wasn't anymore. Neither Sam nor Dean knew why he had chosen to seek them out and then not leave but Castiel had been pleased and accepting so the brothers merely trusted the Angel's judgment and let it go. Gabriel was something of a beam of light for them. Always ready with a joke or a disinterested but still helpful snap.
As expected, he and Dean got along swell given their similar mental age group and often times the prank wars become epic in ways they never had before. After all, it's practically Angel vs. Angel since Castiel will always lend Dean a hand. Perhaps it is Castiel's influence but for the most part, Dean's anger at Gabriel is long faded. Dean and Gabriel are simple to understand, kindred souls that they are.
Sam, on the other hand, had felt awkward and uncomfortable around the Archangel in the beginning. Being near him always gave Sam the feeling that his skin was itching and more often then not he often got headaches that faded if Gabriel snapped away for a bit. Luckily enough, Sam was able to hide this until finally it just stopped happening and he let the memories of it slip away.
Gabriel is a fountain of knowledge and Sam loved nothing more then to sit and ask him questions or listen to his stories. To his surprise the Angel didn't seem to mind his undying curiosity. In fact, Gabriel didn't seem to mind a lot of things and that included having to share a room with Sam every time. The youngest Winchester found that he didn't mind it either.
Usually.
Gabriel even stays through the night though Sam had yet to question what exactly he did to occupy himself the whole time. He's almost afraid to ask.
Sam is cautious about how he acts around the ex-Trickster because despite everything he knows Gabriel has done for them, Sam still vividly remembers the pain Gabriel has caused as well. That's not to say he's still angry, or upset even because he's not. In all actuality Sam gets it, he does. Gabriel had only ever been trying to get him to buy a clue and Sam had just been too stubborn to pay attention. So he understands where Gabriel had been coming from but that doesn't change the way it still hurts. He knows what Gabriel is capable of and that terrifies him because they've never talked about it. The Mystery Spot, T.V Land, none of it. Sam knows that Gabriel knows exactly how to hurt him and already has multiple times. That scares him because there are only two other people who have ever hurt him as much as Gabriel has; Dean and Lucifer.
Sam doesn't know what to expect or how to think because he wants, nearly more then anything, to trust Gabriel but he can't. He can't afford to.
"Sam?" Castiel's voice brings his attention back and Sam reflexively sat up straighter to focus on the Angel.
"Uh, yeah?"
Castiel blinked slowly and gave him a long measuring look. "Are you well?"
For a moment, Sam can't figure out why he's asking then he remembers what he'd told Castiel a few days before.
Ever since he'd been freed from Hell, Sam's dreams are not what he'd expected. Mainly because he doesn't have dreams, at all. And yet when he wakes in the mornings he finds himself more exhausted then before he had gone to bed. It had been wearing him down and Castiel was the only one who noticed or at least the only one who mentioned it to him. Secretly, Sam figured it was because Dean and Gabriel didn't know how to ask where Castiel was far too straight forward to let something like that hinder him. Sam didn't bother trying to talk his way out of explaining and he didn't really want to anyway. He'd come too far just to start lying again so he told Castiel everything and in return the Angel had promised to help him in whatever way he could.
That alone had made Sam feel slightly more comforted because he and Castiel have come a long way from being just the Angel and the Demon Boy. They're friends now and Sam considers Castiel just as important in his life as Dean. For Castiel to show concern for him is touching and Sam feels blessed.
He gives Castiel a grateful smile and shakes his head. "I'm fine, Cas." Sam carefully avoids looking at Gabriel, who is suddenly no longer holding a candy bar and tense in his seat.
After a moment, the Angel nods and then the motel door slams open.
"God damn, it's cold as fuck out there." Dean grumbles as he hurriedly kicks the door closed behind him since his arms are mostly burdened with take out bags and a case of beer. When he sees them his eyes land on Castiel and they light up. "Cas, 'bout time you got here."
"My apologies. Gabriel insisted we stop at the Park of Hershey before returning."
Dean raised an eyebrow as he unceremoniously dropped everything onto the table. "You mean Hershey Park? Really?"
"What? Sometimes not even I can properly replicate good chocolate. You humans do occasionally get things right." Gabriel smirked and leaned back in his chair, shrugging when Castiel cast him a clearly disapproving look.
"Like pie." Was all Dean said in response, probably agreeing with the ex-Trickster. He digs out a caesar salad from one of the paper bags and, with a thinly veiled expression of disgust, pushed it over to Sam. He rolls his eyes but give his brother a thankful nod and Dean shakes three burgers out of the other bag for himself. "Okay, so what do we have?"
Sam rips open one of the packets of dressing and drizzles it over his salad before lifting the lid of his laptop. He hears the rustle of fabric that means Castiel has sat down on the only bed in the room and across from him Gabriel is tapping his fingers absently on the tabletop.
"Well, uh." He called up a few saved webpages and scrolled down to the article that had caught his attention in the first place. "I noticed this a few days ago. There's a town about 10 miles from here that has been reporting a serious rise of people disappearing. Most of the victims are not locals but people who have come here for winter sports. There's a lodge a ways outside of the town that caters to skiers, snowmobiles, snowboarders and that sort. In fact, all the people are suspected to have gone missing from there." Sam paused to toss his salad a bit and took a bite. He wrinkled his nose and stuck the fork in his mouth while he added another packet of dressing.
"So, what are we looking at? The abominable snowman?" Dean grunted through a mouthful of meat and bread.
Sam snorted in disgust and pulled the fork out of his mouth but before he could say anything, Castiel beat him to it.
"The so called abominable snowman is not a real creature. I do no believe it could be responsible."
Gabriel cackled at that as Sam choked on a bite of lettuce and Dean gave a long suffering sigh. "I wasn't being serious, Cas."
"Oh." The younger Angel gave a puzzled frown and almost glared. "Then why did you suggest it?"
"I dunno, I was just joking."
"…I do not understand your idea of a joke."
Sam laughed aloud and looked over his shoulder to grin at Castiel. "Don't feel bad, man. Nobody does."
"Shut it, bitch." Dean snapped, glowering over his burger.
"Make me, jerk."
"Better watch it or I'll take your rabbit food."
Sam decided to be the better man and let that go with nothing more then a roll of his eyes that only a little brother could perfect. He turns his attention back to said rabbit food and only then realized someone had forgotten to include the croutons. And wasn't that annoying. With nothing more then a frown, Sam takes another bite anyway and scrolls down on the webpage. There is a soft snap of fingers and Sam flinches before he realizes that there is now a perfectly sized package of Italian three cheese flavored croutons, his absolute favorite that he's only had the pleasure of eating twice. Surprise widens his eyes as Sam looks across the table at Gabriel, who's watching him with one raised eyebrow and a smile. Sam has the sudden horrible thought that he might be blushing so he mutters a quick thanks and rips into the package like it will disappear.
With his head bowed down Sam misses the look Castiel passes Gabriel, who only shrugs one shoulder in return. Neither Winchester notices.
Once the salad is to his satisfaction, Sam pulls his computer closer. "Anyway, I'm thinking we need to go to this retreat and find out what's been happening. Maybe then we'll be able to figure out what has been taking these people."
Dean groans miserably and shivers. "Man, this bites. Why do we have to be at the coldest place in the country at the coldest time of year?"
"Infamous Winchester luck." Gabriel supplies and both humans have to agree, however grudgingly.
"Alright, fine. We'll head out up there tomorrow. Let's find this thing, kill it and get back down south."
Sam gives an agreeable nod and searches for the local news station's website, hoping to find a weather report for the next couple days.
At the end of the table, Dean polishes off his last burger and balls the wrappers up to crush into the paper bag, which he leaves there as he stands up. "Well, Sammy. You keep right on researching to your geeky hearts content, I'm gonna go get some shut-eye." He pauses for a moment, looking at Cas and when Sam lifts his head to see why Dean's still standing there, his brother raises an extremely suggestive eyebrow at the Angel on the bed. "Or maybe some porn first, what do you think Cas?"
And Sam can't believe those words just came out of his brother's mouth…wait…on second thought, yeah he totally can. Across from him, Gabriel is smiling widely, his eyes light with mirth and Sam forces himself to look away.
For a brief moment Cas looks unsettlingly like the proverbial deer in the headlights before he sighs heavily, the perfect mastery of a loved one's exasperation with their significant other.
Sam feels a quick rush of painful longing, a yearning to have something like that, but pushes it down as harshly as he can. That boat had sailed without him a long time ago and he's long since accepted it.
Looking surprisingly composed Castiel merely stands from the bed and nods at Gabriel and Sam, before he and Dean disappear.
Sam huffs out a soft laugh and nearly trades an amused look with Gabriel but remembers himself before it actually happens and instead stares at his laptop. He doesn't notice the look of frustration on the shorter Angel's face.
"Aww, c'mon Sammy. You're not seriously going to sit in front of that all night are you?" Gabriel whines, leaning his upper body across the table and draping himself there as if he were boneless.
"It's Sam." He pouts in counter, then ruins the effect by stuffing his mouth with more lettuce. His salad is nearly gone and after that Sam really doesn't have a clue about what to do. There actually isn't anything more he can look for without first having a look around the resort.
Gabriel waves a limp hand in dismissal of his protest. "You need to have more fun, Sammy. All this brooding and angsting just isn't healthy."
"Right." Sam can't help his snort of disbelief and raises his eyes to meet Gabriel's. "'Cause you know exactly what I need." It's intended to sound sarcastic but when Gabriel doesn't immediately snap a retort back at him, Sam swallows at his intent and somber gaze. In the back of his mind, Sam recognizes what they're doing as being awfully similar to the way Dean and Castiel used to stare at each other before they finally pulled their heads out of their asses.
Gabriel is leaning across the small table on his elbows, face next to the laptop and as Sam stares at his eyes he thinks he's never seen a color like them before. The Angel's eyes are a honey gold, too light to be brown but not at all changing enough to be hazel and they're captivating in way Sam had never noticed before. Or rather, never let himself notice.
Then Gabriel is moving slowly closer, lifting himself up to Sam's level and the youngest Winchester doesn't breathe, doesn't move. Not until it suddenly hits that Gabriel's going to kiss him and then he's halfway across the room without remembering when he even moved.
Gabriel is still at the table but now he's frowning and Sam thinks he might be a little hurt but he doesn't trust himself to say the right thing to fix this. He takes a steadying breath and carefully approaches the table to grab what's left of his salad and throw it into the nearest trash can, along with the empty bags. Gabriel makes no move toward him and Sam isn't sure how he feels about that because the disappointment radiating from the Archangel is nearly painful.
There is a moment when the air in the room is almost too heavy and just as Sam feels himself break, just as he's turning to apologize, Gabriel snaps his fingers and is gone.
The youngest Winchester stands completely still, frozen in place with a feeling of dread at the Angel's absence. When several minutes pass and Gabriel does not return, Sam resigns himself to yet another mistake and prepares to go to bed.
That night Sam remains alone and it takes him deep into the night to finally fall asleep. When he does, Sam has his first dream since saving the world.
Sam is standing in a field of wildflowers. He's not sure how he knows this since the entire landscape is buried beneath at least three feet of pure white snow but he decides not to think about that because there is literally nothing here for as far as he can see. The horizon stretches so far that he's not even sure if it's there at all.
Everywhere he looks there is nothing but blinding snow and the glittering of billions of tiny, frozen diamonds. Sam is distantly reminded of the saying that no two snowflakes are alike and he wonders, in the back of his mind, if humans might not be the same way.
He isn't sure how long he's been standing here but the cold has begun to seep into his bones and for some reason Sam's wearing only jeans and a button up shirt. Mildly concerned he looks down and is relieved to see that he is wearing shoes, although they're tennis shoes and not snow boots. Sam thinks he's gonna need boots if he intends to go anywhere.
With a soft, nearly emotionless sigh Sam looks around, picks a direction and starts walking. There is nothing else keeping him here and Sam feels a pull of some kind tugging him in a certain direction.
His sense of time must be screwy since he's pretty sure he's been walking forever and yet nothing has changed. It takes what feels like days before Sam starts getting angry and seriously contemplates mentally telling this tugging sensation to fuck off to plop down in the snow.
Sam gets as far as stopping in place to stare down at the unmarred snow before him, secretly thinking about making a snow angel, when something shifts. He looks up and blinks a few times before realizing that something was here in front of him, only a few feet away, that hadn't been there a moment ago. Sam wrinkles his nose and frowns when he puts together that it's the entrance to a cave in front of him, a cave that disappears into invisibility. Or was it just the same color as the snow?
He's tempted to go in, just because he's bored but instead he stays a safe distance away, mostly out of spite. Whatever the Hell's been leading him around by the nose all this time was not going to get the satisfaction of having him follow like a blind puppy.
Sam sighs, breath puffing out in a dense, pale cloud and he watches it dissipate in complete disinterest. With another look around, he sits and feels the snow give only a little beneath his weight as he leans back on his hands and tilts his head back too.
The sky above is a clear, clean baby blue but he notices that the sun is missing and some of his anger drains away, leaving him feeling strangely empty.
"Sammy, Sammy, Sammy. Why must you make everything so damn hard?" The voice comes as no surprise to Sam and he closes his eyes against the bright light next to him.
"Pun absolutely intended, by the way."
When he reopens his eyes, the sun is where it belongs in the sky and Sam turns his head toward Gabriel. "This is all your doing isn't it?"
"Got it in one, kiddo." Gabriel says, looking down at him with an expression that is at once both blank and far too intense.
"So I'm dreaming then?"
"You could say that."
Sam thinks the lack of proper answers should make him angry but for whatever reason the only thing he really feels is cold.
"C'mon Sam, lets go inside already. I don't know if you've noticed but if you stay out here for much longer you're gonna become a Samsicle." A crooked and dirty grin bloomed over Gabriel's face. "And if that happens I'm going to have to lick you warm again. You know what? On second thought, lets stay out here after all."
Sam smiles without realizing it and Gabriel heaves a sigh before falling gracelessly down into the snow next to him. The silence that falls between them is peaceful and easy for once. Sam slowly becomes aware of the heat radiating from Gabriel's body beside him and shivers, unconsciously moving closer.
Gabriel moves restlessly and his hand lands on one of Sam's, the contact and following rush of heat causes the former Vessel to gasp softly and sway toward the Archangel. Gabriel turns toward him, hand tightly clasped over his, and those gold eyes hold him transfixed. This time when Gabriel leans in, Sam doesn't dare move at all and the kiss is like nothing he'd expected.
It was a slow, chaste press of lips against his and so very soft before it was over.
Sam stares at the Angel with wide, clearly terrified hazel eyes and mentally flails over what to do and what the Hell?
"Sam?" There's confusion and worry in Gabriel's face but Sam doesn't know what to even begin to say. All he knows is that he wants this so damn badly that it hurts, hurts like an ice cube pressed to his heart.
Gabriel shuffles carefully closer until they're knee to knee and reaches up to frame his face with both hands. Warmth spreads from every point of contact between them, soothing and healing Sam in ways he didn't know could be done.
The Angel is so careful, as if Sam is something terribly precious and easily breakable, as he draws the hunter into another kiss. Sam finds himself warming up and everything that had been wrapped up so tightly in his mind comes free until he's kissing back with a desperation born of sudden realization.
"Gabriel." He breathes when they part, staring at the other with something akin to awe and adoration.
Gabriel smiles brightly at the expression, relief sending his heart soaring until suddenly the sun is blocked out by something huge spreading over them.
Sam looks up and is utterly stunned to find that they're caged in an arching wall of shimmering, shiny feathers. He reaches out with a tentative hand to touch and Gabriel's gasp goes unheard as he marvels at the softness of the feathers.
"Sam." Gabriel moans and his hands slid to grip Sam's hips tightly as the hunter runs his finger through the down. "Stop a moment before this goes too far."
Sam reluctantly does as he's asked and instead turns his attention to Gabriel, who is still so oddly serious.
"I know I don't deserve the right to ask this of you but please hear me out. Will you allow me this?" He is so serious and earnest that Sam can't say no, probably wouldn't even if he could. Instead he nods, once and that's all Gabriel needs.
"I love you Sam. I know it seems sudden but it's not, I swear. It's just, I was fighting it so hard, fighting all of it really not just you. And I know what I've done to you, I do. I know that you don't feel you can trust me and I know that hurts you because at the same time you love me, and it's tearing you apart. You're still trying to heal from your ordeal in the Pit and lately being around me only made it worse some days, didn't it?"
Sam thinks back to the headaches that used to nearly cripple him when Gabriel had been around and winces.
The Angel nods, "Exactly. And it's gotten a little better but until you heal enough to truly dream again then this is the closest I can get to helping." He lowers the shield of one wing to reveal the snowy landscape before closing it over them again. "Please Sam, I need to know if you can trust me to do this. Trust me to fix what I helped to hurt."
Sam is seeing so many emotions in those golden eyes that it suddenly occurs to him that Gabriel is appealing to him as the Archangel, not the Trickster. A form he has not taken in so very long and it means that now Gabriel is so much more then what Sam feared he could be.
"As the Messenger of God, I promise to you Sam that I will protect you with my life."
Sam has no reason to trust any Angel other then Castiel but in his own way, Gabriel is beginning to prove himself as well. Just like Sam, all he needs is someone to give him a chance and Sam is starting to find that idea more appealing.
"Gabriel…" For once Sam doesn't know what words to say so instead he reaches out, grabs the Angel and crushes their mouths together. Gabriel's relief and joy is sweet on his tongue and Sam feels a part of himself that had been wrong ever since falling into the Pit, snap back into place and the effect is instantaneous as Sam wakes up.
Sam wakes with a gasp and jolts upright, searching for Gabriel though the room is empty besides himself. Then there is a sound similar to the wing beats of a thousand birds and suddenly Sam is being hugged fiercely, a warmth like the sun surrounding him.
"Sam." He's never heard his name sound like that before, like he's the only saving grace left in the world. Gabriel holds him tight, like he never wants to let go and Sam can only think about how they must look. To Heaven, to Hell.
They are the boy who drank Demon blood and the Angel who turned his back on himself, each an abomination in their own right.
Well. As far as Sam was concerned, Heaven and Hell can go fuck themselves. He has Gabriel, his brother and his best friend, therefore he needs nothing more. His Heaven is right here in Gabriel, Dean and Castiel.
Later, a series of ineffable events lead Team Free Will right to the beastie that had been slaughtering and eating the missing people. They managed to kill in just enough time for Sam to convince Dean to stick around long enough for a real Christmas. Honestly, Dean didn't put up much of a fight but Sam wasn't going to complain, ever.
Besides, Sam's beginning to appreciate the north a bit more, for it is beautiful with all the snow. He's secretly thinking of making this a tradition for every year, after all, it's not as though they have many of those in the first place.
He knows Gabriel's got his back, as does Castiel. Hell, he's pretty sure not even Dean will argue. Especially since he's already planning Thanksgiving for next year and with all the food Dean is guaranteed to be happy, even if all he eats is pie and Gabriel tries to turn the turkey into candy.
There is a puff of amused breath against his ear from Gabriel as they lay together in bed. "I can hear you thinking, Sammy."
"So stop listening." He teases, pretending to huff with insult.
"Tried but you're too damn loud. I mean really, do you ever stop thinking?"
Sam grins and turns to face his Angel. "I can think of a few times."
Gabriel's eyes light up and his laughs with slight surprise before rolling Sam over and encouraging him to finally stop thinking.
Sam can safely say it worked.
Dean can safely say he's happy for Sam but would they please 'Keep It Down!'
Castiel counters Dean with a well timed, "But you are often quite loud as well, Dean."
While Dean tries to imitate a tomato and glares at them all, Sam and Gabriel are laughing hysterically and Castiel only smiles softly.
It may not be perfect, but it's a family and its theirs.
A/N: This wasn't quite what I'd intended to write but hey, whatever. Drop me a thought, yeah?