Please Don't Die
Author: Orrymain
Author Email: marciastudley@comcast.net (Feedback welcome)
Author Website: http://orrymain.raikiri.net/fanfichome.html
Category: Slash, H/C of the mental kind, Missing Scene/Epilogue, Established Relationship
Pairing: Jack/Daniel .... and it's all J/D
Rating: NC-17
Season: 4 - during and after Double Jeopardy
Spoilers: Double Jeopardy
Size: 31kb, short story
Written: November 2-3,5,8, 2003
Archive: Area52, Comfort Zone, FanFiction.Net, Cartouche, AlphaGate, TheBoy
Disclaimer: Usual disclaimers -- not mine, wish they were, especially Daniel, and Jack, too, but they aren't. This was a whim; all in fun. I don't have anything to do with them legally!
Summary: Daniel dies ... again - Jack goes on a bender!
Notes: Thanks to my betas who always make my fics better: Suzanna, Drdjlover, Starshadow!
Please Don't Die
by Orrymain
Jack sat on the short bench in the Locker Room. He had already changed into his green BDU's. Teal'c had left for the Control Room, leaving Jack alone to the stillness of the room. Jack stared across the expanse, at the locker that held both a blue and brown SGC uniform and a blue robe. He stared at the name -- Daniel Jackson.
Silently, Jack said the name in his mind ... "Daniel Jackson. Archaeologist. Anthropologist. Linguist. Peaceful Explorer. Best Friend. Confidante. Lover. My Love. My Angel."
Jack's head bowed to stare at the ground, replaying what he had heard a few minutes before:
General Hammond: "What exactly is the current situation?"
Clone Jack O'Neill: "Our Daniel is dead."
"Daniel is dead."
"Daniel is dead."
"Daniel is dead."
"Daniel is dead."
Jack's mind replayed the words over and over again, his heart slowing a beat with each recall.
"Daniel is dead."
"Sir? Colonel O'Neill, are you all right?"
Jack nodded as he put on his boots in silence.
Sam was waiting for Jack to finish so she could prepare for their upcoming mission as well. SG-1 would be heading for Juna, otherwise known as P2X 729, where they would join their clones to fight Heru'ur. The human SG-1 had already been to the planet, and when the clones had arrived, they had received a chilling reception from the inhabitants.
The Goa'uld had overrun the planet. In the aftermath of the arrival the clone SG-1, Clone Daniel had been decapitated and both Clone Sam and Clone Teal'c had been captured. It was only Clone Jack who had managed to evade the Goa'uld and would be in a position to join forces with the real SG-1 to try and free the planet.
"Daniel is fine, Colonel. I mean, our Daniel is fine."
Jack looked up and nodded, but she was concerned. There was an eeriness about her CO's silent agreement. Sam fidgeted, knowing Jack was thinking about the real Daniel, but she felt unusually helpless as well. Sam knew the only person who could solve this problem was the real Daniel.
As Jack stood and grabbed his equipment, he said softly, "I missed the check-in this morning. Traffic accident caused a delay. Did you talk to him?"
"No, Sir," Sam sighed regretfully, "I was working on the mineral project."
Jack didn't react and silently walked out of the Locker Room and went to battle the Goa'uld once again.
The mission was a success, in human terms. Heru'ur fled the planet, and the citizens of Juna were promised more help from Tau'ri to prevent the return of any Goa'uld. The cost in terms of the clones had been high. Each had died in the battle, each heroically in front of their human counterparts.
Harlan had been inconsolable, returning to Altair, unsure of what would become of him or his planet.
The debriefing had gone smoothly. Teal'c had gone to his quarters, Sam had gone to continue her current project, and Jack had done paperwork for hours, and now stood quietly in the corner of the Control Room. It was 10 p.m., and Cheyenne Mountain was quiet.
"Colonel, I didn't know you were still here," Sam said, entering the Control Room.
"Didn't I order you to get a life, Major?"
Jack's question lacked its usual spark. It was droned, and Sam couldn't help but notice the emptiness in her CO's brown eyes.
"Yes Sir, but the mission to Juna put me behind schedule."
Sam fidgeted as she went to the computer where she had planned to work for a while. She could see Jack out of the corner of her eye, just standing. She knew what he was waiting for.
"Sir, the next check in isn't scheduled until tomorrow morning at 0800. You should go home ... Sir."
Without acknowledging, Jack turned, causing Sam to be even more concerned. Knowing there was nothing she could do to help, Sam set about to continue her work.
It was midnight and the Air Force Major had just finished her work when a signal was received. It was from SG-9, the team Daniel was with temporarily, his expertise being needed for a particularly difficult negotiation.
She listened as the transmission connected, and when she heard Daniel's voice, she motioned away the technician on duty and took the "call" herself.
"Hey, Sam, we need a few things ..."
Daniel relayed the needs of the team which Sam jotted down for handling, and then at the end, he added, "Check with the General. We'd like to stay an extra day."
"An extra day?"
"Yes, I think it could be valuable, help build the trust."
"Oh," Sam said with a hesitant breath.
"Sam, is anything wrong?"
"Daniel ...," Sam paused, glancing over her shoulder at the two technicians working in the room who would hear anything and everything she said, "Silver Fox is in need of some attention. Nothing's ... dented or anything, but ... sooner might be better than later, if you know what I mean."
"Thanks, Sam."
The transmission ended.
"Silver Fox, Major?" one of the techs asked.
"His car. He calls it the Silver Fox, very sleek, sporty."
"Dr. Jackson has a sports car?"
"Oh yeah. It really moves."
"And it ... needs attention?"
"Hmm-mmm. Cars and kids, you know, always in need of something," Sam smiled and exited the area.
====
Sam had finally gotten to sleep. When she looked at the clock, it was 1:45 a.m. She was looking forward to a nice, long, quiet rest, and with any luck, a dream about her own personal Major Matt Mason who would come and sweep her off her feet and go soaring into the universe with her, happily ever after.
And then ...
RING ... RING ... RING ... RING ... RING ... RING ...
"H'lo?"
"I'm sorry, Sam, but I need to know what's going on."
"Daniel? Where are you?"
"In the Silver Fox and headed home."
"How'd you? No, don't tell me. I don't want to know," she chuckled lightly.
"Sam ..." the question was in her name.
"Daniel ... you died again."
"Excuse me?"
"Remember Harlan?"
"How could I forget?"
"Well, the clones ... they've died ... but yours was first. The Colonel ... he ... well, he's taken it pretty hard. He missed that last check in with SG-9 before the mission, and ... yawn sorry ..."
"I'm sorry I woke you, Sam. Go back to sleep."
"Glad you're back, Daniel."
"You knew I'd come back as soon as I could."
"Yeah, I thought you might."
"There's nothing more important to me than ... Silver Fox. Sorry, I know you're still uncomfortable talking about it ... but ... thanks Sam. Goodnight."
====
The lights were out at the house Jack and Daniel shared. Daniel hoped that meant Jack had found some peace and had gone to bed. He entered the house quietly, heading for the stairs when he stopped suddenly.
He saw his lover sitting completely in the dark, holding something in his hand. Daniel moved to turn on a light.
Jack raised his hand to shield his eyes, blinked as he saw Daniel, then took a swig of beer.
"Jack?"
"Welcome home, Dannyboy," Jack said with a laugh.
Daniel put his keys in his pocket and surveyed the area, noticing several empty bottles on the floor around the chair.
"Oh Jack," Daniel spoke softly as he walked to his lover and kneeled down in front of him.
"I love you, Jack," Daniel took Jack's left hand and kissed it.
"You died ... again," Jack whispered.
"I know ... Sam told me. I'm home now, Babe," standing again, "Let's go to bed."
"Your head went rolling on the floor, sparking all over the place they said. Just rolling ... rolling ... rolling ... move 'em up, head 'em out, Rawhide."
"Jack?"
"Just a song," Jack took another drink.
"Jack, that's enough," Daniel reached for the bottle, but Jack pushed him back, standing up quickly.
He wobbled a moment and then gained his bearings.
"Jack," Daniel pleaded as he reached out and took his lover's hand again.
"You died, Danny. Gawd, you died again. I can't live through that anymore. Charlie ... I died when he did, and then you brought me back to life. And you died ... and died ... and died ... and now you've died again. Please don't die anymore, Danny."
Daniel took Jack into his arms, and held him tightly. Jack's chin was nestled into Daniel's shoulder, his hands hanging loosely behind Daniel's back.
"Your body was just laying there ... headless. No movement ... just ... there," Jack cried into Daniel's embrace, as the beer bottle he had been holding dropped to the ground, the liquid draining onto the carpet.
"I'm here, Love. Everything's going to be okay."
"When are you coming home, Danny?"
"I'm home now," Daniel tried to reassure, but Jack wasn't convinced, "I need you, Danny. Don't die. Come home to me."
Daniel felt his heart break at his lover's despair. He knew that while the beers were part of the agony Jack was feeling, that one of Jack's biggest fears was losing Daniel again. They didn't talk about all the "deaths" much, but sometimes Daniel would see Jack watching, just watching, and it was more than the playful "watching your six" game they often engaged in, but was almost a fear, afraid that if he turned around that Daniel might disappear forever.
"Come on, Jack. Let's go upstairs."
Daniel helped his lover to their bedroom, changing his clothes and getting him safely into bed. Daniel put on his pajamas and got into his side of the bed. Jack had uncharacteristically laid on his right side, so Daniel spooned up next to him, kissing the top of his back, and protectively putting his arm around him. Jack often did this for Daniel, but it was rare that Daniel was able to comfort his soul mate in this way.
After an hour or so of holding Jack but not being able to sleep, Daniel got up and retrieved his laptop. He tapped into the SGC computer, using Jack's sign on, and read Jack's mission report.
"Poor Harlan," Daniel sighed, wondering what would become of their synthetic friend.
But Daniel didn't have much time to ponder Harlan's fate as Jack began to thrash about, moaning, uttering broken words and partial sentences. Daniel knew it was a nightmare. Both he and Jack suffered from the haunting of their past, and this nightmare was not unexpected.
Quickly, he moved the laptop off the bed, and was about to try and calm his lover when the nightmare jumped in intensity.
"NO! DANIEL! DON'T DIE! DANNNIELLLLLLLL!"
"Jack," Daniel carefully tried to tend to his love without being slugged, something the younger man always had to watch for because of Jack's Special Forces training.
"Jack, it's okay. Wake up, Love. I'm right here," Daniel said, running his hands along his lover's back, arms, and hair, and talking as soothingly as possible.
"Danny," Jack panted as he woke from his nightmare, breathing hard and sweating.
"Right here," Daniel spoke softly, scooping Jack into him, his head leaning against Daniel's shoulder.
Daniel held on securely. It wasn't often that Jack's nightmares actually caused him to shake, but Daniel felt the trembling on this night.
"I'm alive, Jack. I'm here. We're both safe. Love you so much," Daniel said as he placed a kiss on the head of his lover.
"Gawd Danny. Need you."
"I'm here, Jack. It's okay. Shh," Daniel spoke softly, scooting down on the bed, "Let's go to sleep, Love. Everything's all right."
Jack surprised his lover by shifting, placing his head over Daniel's heart.
"So strong."
"What?"
"Your heartbeat. I need to hear it. Don't let it stop."
Daniel ran his hands along Jack's hair and against his forehead gently.
"Sleep, Jack. I love you."
====
"Danny?"
Jack startled himself awake, finding himself alone in his bed, wondering if he had dreamed Daniel's return, or had hallucinated from being drunk.
"DANIEL!" The yell was panicked, fearful.
"Whoa, Babe ... right here," Daniel entered with a calming smile, holding a tray with some orange juice, fruit and toast ... and a small bowl of Froot Loops.
"I thought ..."
"Jack, I'm sorry," Daniel placed the tray on the bed and leaned over for a quick kiss, "I figured you'd wake up soon and wanted you to have something to eat."
"Oh Danny."
"It's okay."
"What a nightmare. You aren't supposed to be here."
"Where should I be?"
"On P-something-or-another. How?"
Daniel ran his left hand through Jack's silver-gray hair and smiled, "When I checked in last night, Sam told me my Silver Fox needed me, so I came home. It's that simple."
"You left P-whatever-it-is for me?"
"I'd leave anywhere for you, My Love. You know that."
"I love you, Angel."
"Love you, too," Daniel kissed the man who was his heart and then with a mock sternness said, "Now, eat!" moving the tray atop Jack's lap.
"Yes, General," Jack teased, with an uneasiness still in his voice.
Daniel started to move off the bed, but as he did, Jack reached for him, "Please stay, Angel," so Daniel smiled and motioned for his lover to eat.
"What's in this stuff," Jack asked as he drank the orange juice.
"You don't want to know, but it'll help with your hangover."
Jack nibbled at his food, but none were what he really needed. Without warning, he moved the tray to Daniel's side of the bed, not caring if the items soiled the area. He leaned up and kissed his heart, both of them moaning from the kiss, a kiss that ignited them both.
"Jack," Daniel gasped at the moment he finally was able to breathe again, "I love you."
Jack pulled Daniel to him and settled back into a prone position, Daniel atop him, their hands roaming each other's body.
"Love you, Danny," Jack gasped, "Please don't ever die again."
As they kissed, the hunger soared. They were noisy as they kissed and fondled. So lost in the moment, Daniel was totally surprised when Jack flipped them over.
"How'd you do that?" he asked in amazement as he found himself on the bottom and Jack devouring his mouth from atop him.
"Motivation," Jack answered, ravishing Daniel some more, the Froot Loops having scattered all over the bed from the transition of the lover's bodies.
The kisses were powerful. Jack couldn't seem to stop kissing his lover, their tongues flicking about as if on fire. Their lips sucked and their teeth nipped, while sighs and moans escaped from their throats.
"Love you," Jack rasped again, in between his sucking of Daniel's tongue.
With his left hand, Jack pulled out Daniel's tucked in shirt, running his hand along his lover's skin, pressing against it, needing the touch desperately ... and still, he never stopped the kisses.
Daniel worked to take off Jack's pajama top, managing to get the top unbuttoned and off Jack's right arm, but he had a slight problem with Jack's left arm which was occupied ... unbuttoning and unzipping Daniel's jeans, and then stroking his lover's hard length. Daniel didn't really want to interfere with that so he let the flannel fabric drop, hanging to their side.
Their mouths were clinging to each others, their lips swelling from the constant contact. Their bodies were beginning to rock into each other, seeking more intimate contact.
Daniel's hands caressed Jack's lower back, and then swiftly pulled down the pajama bottoms as far as he could from where he laid. Jack arched a little to allow them to scoot down ... and still, they kissed, their tongues dancing wildly, each exploring every crevice of the other's mouth.
Jack's hand stroked Daniel's shaft quickly and powerfully. Daniel was moaning louder, the pressing touches of his lover's hand sending tingles and shivers through his willing body.
Jack moved a little and Daniel lifted himself just a bit to allow Jack to lower Daniel's jeans and boxers down to his knees, which was as far as they could go without separating their lips, something neither seemed prepared to do at the moment.
Jack's hand stroked Daniel up and down, the tips of his fingers squeezing occasionally. He increased the speed, working his lover's shaft as he continued the kisses.
"Jack ... geez ... love you!"
Daniel wasn't sure how he managed to say all that with Jack's tongue still in his mouth, but somehow he had. His hands were moving smoothly along Jack's lower back and buttocks, pinching lightly now and then, squeezing, pushing Jack into him.
At the same time, he was lost in the feel of Jack, the power of their kisses unlike anything they'd ever experienced before. Jack continued to massage his lover's length, faster, firmer, taking Daniel to the point of no return.
"Gawd," Daniel panted into Jack's mouth, having come into Jack's left hand.
"Love you, Angel," Jack breathed softly, moving his body even closer, never parting their mouths.
"Want you ... so much," Jack whispered, a desperation to his voice, in between kisses.
He nibbled on Daniel's upper lip and Daniel's head rose slightly as if by doing so he could reach deeper into Jack's mouth, his tongue gliding along Jack's teeth, still moaning.
Jack reached under his pillow, the one Daniel's head was against, and pulled out the lube. Without hesitating, he put an ample amount on his fingers and quickly prepared his lover. They waisted no time.
Jack had shifted again out of necessity, but he found he needed Daniel's lips, so he moved up for more kisses, and they both clung together, scrunching their bodies into each other. They made themselves into a tight ball, their bodies curving and arching however necessary to give them the contact they so urgently desired.
Jack entered Daniel, holding still as they kissed. They had never quite done it this way before. It was a bit of a challenge, but they twisted their bodies until they could do what they wanted to.
Slowly and evenly, Jack moved back and forward inside his love, making gentle contact with Daniel's most sensitive areas.
The moans increased with their labored breaths.
"Need you ... never ... never leave," Jack seemed to beg.
"Love you Jack ... not ... going ... anywhere," Daniel responded in between the kisses of their lovemaking, his length hardened again from the intensity of their union and his love and need for Jack.
"Hmm ... geez," Jack picked up the pace, Daniel's legs mingled in with Jack's body, clinging to him as they jammed their bodies together in a fusion that could look like a modern work of art.
"Please ... don't ... don't ... die," Jack begged, his hammering against Daniel's prostate exploding inside the younger man, the sparks filling him with pleasure as he continued on.
Kissing Daniel again possessively, their tongues desperate to battle just as Jack's length was doing inside Daniel, Jack whispered, "Mine ... all mine."
"Yes ... yours," Daniel panted, "only yours ... love you ... just you."
"Don't die," the sweat rolled off Jack's brow, mixing in with the tears that fell onto the younger man, before another kiss combined with a powerful lunge inside Daniel.
"Won't ... love you ... life ... you're mine," Daniel sobbed, lost in the overwhelming emotions of lust, despair, and happiness, one hand working his shaft as he drifted with Jack inside him.
The feelings seemed to conflict, but they were powerful.
"Mine!"
"Yes ... yours."
The panting and labored breathing threatened to cause both to be unable to speak, and yet, their tongues still licked, tasted, and nibbled on each other. Brief unions of their mouths, their lips almost bruised from the constant intense contact.
"Live ... gawd Danny, live. Please don't die," Jack was at the end, about to be drained of all the trauma of the last two days ... and the pleasure of the last half-hour with his lover.
"Won't ... with you ... forever," Daniel gasped as he came again in his hand, just as Jack exploded with his own completion.
"Love you," Jack squealed as he gave a final hard thrust into Daniel, his orgasm causing him to collapse down onto Daniel's chest, both trembling, and Jack convulsing from the harmonies of their bodies.
Daniel had tears rolling down his face, as did Jack. The younger man sniffled as he placed his arms around his soul mate, making soft strokes of love on his back, his hands reaching up to stroke Jack's soaked hair.
"I love you, Jack. You're my life. Not going anywhere without you ... not ever," Daniel said with a cracked voice.
"Heartbeat ... so strong, Danny."
"For you, My Love ... because of you and for you ... always."
"Love you so friggin' much, Daniel."
They held each, not letting go, for the next hour. Neither moved, Jack listening to the sound of his lover's heart, and Daniel doing nothing but running his finger's through Jack's hair.
Finally, Jack let out a small sniffle and looked up at Daniel. He moved his hand to Daniel's cheek and smiled, "Do you have any idea?"
Daniel nodded, "A little. Do you?"
"Some."
The tears were still falling as they talked about the enormity of their love, and Jack decided it was his turn to do some comforting. The breakfast tray was a lost cause, as were their comforter and sheets, so Jack just tossed what wasn't already off the bed, off, and moved over on his back, and pulled Daniel up to him, allowing Daniel to nestle in his accustomed place on Jack's body.
Daniel sighed as he settled in.
"I thought you might like that."
"Hmm. My Jack pillow. It's the bestest ever invented."
"I got scared, Danny. I don't know why. I missed the check in. I hadn't heard your voice ... and then Harlan ... and the clone me. I couldn't get his words, spoken in my voice, saying 'our Daniel is dead' out of my mind. Like a recording, it played over and over in my mind. And then I saw it ... gawd, Danny, it was just sitting there in a corner ... your head ... sitting there."
"It wasn't me, Love."
"But it was. Crap, Danny. They were us. They died like we would have. They were brave and they ... they sacrificed themselves ... for us and for the people of that planet. They were ... real."
"Jack?"
"Yes, Angel?"
"I love you."
"I love you, too, Danny."
"Jack?"
"Hmmm?"
"Forever and always, together ... you and I."
"Yeah, forever, we're unbeatable together."
"What's going to happen to Harlan?"
"I don't know. He loved ... us," Jack sadly chuckled.
"He needs help, Jack."
"No more clones, Danny. Danny ... I can't ... I can't watch you die again, not even as a clone."
"Not going without you, Jack. You're my comfy pillow, remember?"
"Oh yeah ... can't have you without your pillow."
"My Jack pillow -- keeps me warm, safe and comfy."
"I try," Jack whispered, completely serious.
Daniel moved, lifting his head up to look into Jack's chocolate brown eyes. He took his right hand and traced his lover's face, and placed a short, tender kiss on Jack's lips.
"You do, Jack. Every day ... your eyes warm me with love, your arms hold me with strength, and your heart comforts me with life."
Daniel's fingers traced Jack's lips, and Jack kissed the slender digits as they moved gently across.
"Thank you for coming back early, Danny. How'd you explain that anyway?"
"I'm a genius, Love. I thought of something."
"I know that ... but what exactly did you think of?"
Daniel smiled, "I told Colonel Hendricks about that time you loaned me out to SG-11 and I got sick and how you had Major Michaelson transferred to Elmendorf ... and then I told him about that time with SG-8 when that gregirk creature broke my ribs and how you broke the leader of SG-8's ribs ... and then I told him about that time ..."
"Daniel, I never had Michaelson transferred. He retired after that mission, and the thing with Manotti was an accident during training."
Daniel grinned, "I know that, Babe .... but Hendricks doesn't."
"My genius."
"The mission was over, Jack. Everything had gone off perfectly, ahead of schedule even. I wasn't needed there, but I was needed here, so ... I came home."
Jack's hand raised to caress Daniel's cheek, "You're always needed, Angel. Thank you."
"For what?"
"Everything, Love ... everything."
Daniel rested his head against Jack's chest again. Their tears had dried, and Jack was better.
"Danny, if you want, I'll talk to Hammond and see if we can contact Harlan and figure something out ... but ... we're not going back there. I don't trust him."
"Thank you, Jack. I don't want him to be alone. No one should be alone."
A few minutes passed as they continued to enjoy the feel of each other, and the life flowing through their bodies.
"Jack?"
"Yes, Love?"
"You're such an ingrate!"
"Huh?"
"I went to all that trouble to get up early and make you breakfast in bed, and you barely touched it ... and now it's ...," Daniel laughed, "all over the floor."
"Oops," Jack chuckled, "I'm sorry. I was ... more hungry for you."
"I ... saw that."
"You can try again. I'll stay here and wait."
"I don't think so. Too sticky."
"I love you sticky ... and sweaty, too."
"Gawd, at least I can't get pregnant. If you had your way, I'd be barefoot and in the kitchen, having babies," Daniel laughed loudly.
"What an image!"
"Awful. Geez ... nightmare."
"No ... beautiful picture."
"You've lost your mind. I knew it would happen eventually."
Jack laughed, but he smiled as he thought silently about his love for his soul mate, his need and want for him stronger than anything he had ever felt before. On some level, he had to admit Daniel was right. If there could be a way ... Jack halted his thinking. Charlie's death was too engraved in his mind. He was sure he'd never get beyond that, but if he ever did, it would be Daniel who would get him there.
"Jack, you're too quiet. What are you thinking about?"
"You, barefoot and pregnant, bringing me my dinner and my slippers."
"Not on your life, Colonel."
"PMS?"
"Jack, you are so dead," Daniel moved to swat his lover lightly, but Jack darted, trying to get up out of the bed, but then Daniel grabbed him by the waist and pulled him back down.
Both laughed wildly as they kissed ... and kissed ... and ... well, you get the idea ... they kissed the rest of the day away. They ate ... eventually ... but mostly, they feasted on each other, helping each other to smile and laugh, feel safe and warm ... and mostly they reassured each other that Jack and Daniel are forever and always, their love strong and growing with each passing day!
~~Finis - Finished - Done - The End - But is it ever Really?~~
Author: Orrymain
Author Email: marciastudley@comcast.net (Feedback welcome)
Author Website: http://orrymain.raikiri.net/fanfichome.html
Category: Slash, H/C of the mental kind, Missing Scene/Epilogue, Established Relationship
Pairing: Jack/Daniel .... and it's all J/D
Rating: NC-17
Season: 4 - during and after Double Jeopardy
Spoilers: Double Jeopardy
Size: 31kb, short story
Written: November 2-3,5,8, 2003
Archive: Area52, Comfort Zone, FanFiction.Net, Cartouche, AlphaGate, TheBoy
Disclaimer: Usual disclaimers -- not mine, wish they were, especially Daniel, and Jack, too, but they aren't. This was a whim; all in fun. I don't have anything to do with them legally!
Summary: Daniel dies ... again - Jack goes on a bender!
Notes: Thanks to my betas who always make my fics better: Suzanna, Drdjlover, Starshadow!
Please Don't Die
by Orrymain
Jack sat on the short bench in the Locker Room. He had already changed into his green BDU's. Teal'c had left for the Control Room, leaving Jack alone to the stillness of the room. Jack stared across the expanse, at the locker that held both a blue and brown SGC uniform and a blue robe. He stared at the name -- Daniel Jackson.
Silently, Jack said the name in his mind ... "Daniel Jackson. Archaeologist. Anthropologist. Linguist. Peaceful Explorer. Best Friend. Confidante. Lover. My Love. My Angel."
Jack's head bowed to stare at the ground, replaying what he had heard a few minutes before:
General Hammond: "What exactly is the current situation?"
Clone Jack O'Neill: "Our Daniel is dead."
"Daniel is dead."
"Daniel is dead."
"Daniel is dead."
"Daniel is dead."
Jack's mind replayed the words over and over again, his heart slowing a beat with each recall.
"Daniel is dead."
"Sir? Colonel O'Neill, are you all right?"
Jack nodded as he put on his boots in silence.
Sam was waiting for Jack to finish so she could prepare for their upcoming mission as well. SG-1 would be heading for Juna, otherwise known as P2X 729, where they would join their clones to fight Heru'ur. The human SG-1 had already been to the planet, and when the clones had arrived, they had received a chilling reception from the inhabitants.
The Goa'uld had overrun the planet. In the aftermath of the arrival the clone SG-1, Clone Daniel had been decapitated and both Clone Sam and Clone Teal'c had been captured. It was only Clone Jack who had managed to evade the Goa'uld and would be in a position to join forces with the real SG-1 to try and free the planet.
"Daniel is fine, Colonel. I mean, our Daniel is fine."
Jack looked up and nodded, but she was concerned. There was an eeriness about her CO's silent agreement. Sam fidgeted, knowing Jack was thinking about the real Daniel, but she felt unusually helpless as well. Sam knew the only person who could solve this problem was the real Daniel.
As Jack stood and grabbed his equipment, he said softly, "I missed the check-in this morning. Traffic accident caused a delay. Did you talk to him?"
"No, Sir," Sam sighed regretfully, "I was working on the mineral project."
Jack didn't react and silently walked out of the Locker Room and went to battle the Goa'uld once again.
The mission was a success, in human terms. Heru'ur fled the planet, and the citizens of Juna were promised more help from Tau'ri to prevent the return of any Goa'uld. The cost in terms of the clones had been high. Each had died in the battle, each heroically in front of their human counterparts.
Harlan had been inconsolable, returning to Altair, unsure of what would become of him or his planet.
The debriefing had gone smoothly. Teal'c had gone to his quarters, Sam had gone to continue her current project, and Jack had done paperwork for hours, and now stood quietly in the corner of the Control Room. It was 10 p.m., and Cheyenne Mountain was quiet.
"Colonel, I didn't know you were still here," Sam said, entering the Control Room.
"Didn't I order you to get a life, Major?"
Jack's question lacked its usual spark. It was droned, and Sam couldn't help but notice the emptiness in her CO's brown eyes.
"Yes Sir, but the mission to Juna put me behind schedule."
Sam fidgeted as she went to the computer where she had planned to work for a while. She could see Jack out of the corner of her eye, just standing. She knew what he was waiting for.
"Sir, the next check in isn't scheduled until tomorrow morning at 0800. You should go home ... Sir."
Without acknowledging, Jack turned, causing Sam to be even more concerned. Knowing there was nothing she could do to help, Sam set about to continue her work.
It was midnight and the Air Force Major had just finished her work when a signal was received. It was from SG-9, the team Daniel was with temporarily, his expertise being needed for a particularly difficult negotiation.
She listened as the transmission connected, and when she heard Daniel's voice, she motioned away the technician on duty and took the "call" herself.
"Hey, Sam, we need a few things ..."
Daniel relayed the needs of the team which Sam jotted down for handling, and then at the end, he added, "Check with the General. We'd like to stay an extra day."
"An extra day?"
"Yes, I think it could be valuable, help build the trust."
"Oh," Sam said with a hesitant breath.
"Sam, is anything wrong?"
"Daniel ...," Sam paused, glancing over her shoulder at the two technicians working in the room who would hear anything and everything she said, "Silver Fox is in need of some attention. Nothing's ... dented or anything, but ... sooner might be better than later, if you know what I mean."
"Thanks, Sam."
The transmission ended.
"Silver Fox, Major?" one of the techs asked.
"His car. He calls it the Silver Fox, very sleek, sporty."
"Dr. Jackson has a sports car?"
"Oh yeah. It really moves."
"And it ... needs attention?"
"Hmm-mmm. Cars and kids, you know, always in need of something," Sam smiled and exited the area.
====
Sam had finally gotten to sleep. When she looked at the clock, it was 1:45 a.m. She was looking forward to a nice, long, quiet rest, and with any luck, a dream about her own personal Major Matt Mason who would come and sweep her off her feet and go soaring into the universe with her, happily ever after.
And then ...
RING ... RING ... RING ... RING ... RING ... RING ...
"H'lo?"
"I'm sorry, Sam, but I need to know what's going on."
"Daniel? Where are you?"
"In the Silver Fox and headed home."
"How'd you? No, don't tell me. I don't want to know," she chuckled lightly.
"Sam ..." the question was in her name.
"Daniel ... you died again."
"Excuse me?"
"Remember Harlan?"
"How could I forget?"
"Well, the clones ... they've died ... but yours was first. The Colonel ... he ... well, he's taken it pretty hard. He missed that last check in with SG-9 before the mission, and ... yawn sorry ..."
"I'm sorry I woke you, Sam. Go back to sleep."
"Glad you're back, Daniel."
"You knew I'd come back as soon as I could."
"Yeah, I thought you might."
"There's nothing more important to me than ... Silver Fox. Sorry, I know you're still uncomfortable talking about it ... but ... thanks Sam. Goodnight."
====
The lights were out at the house Jack and Daniel shared. Daniel hoped that meant Jack had found some peace and had gone to bed. He entered the house quietly, heading for the stairs when he stopped suddenly.
He saw his lover sitting completely in the dark, holding something in his hand. Daniel moved to turn on a light.
Jack raised his hand to shield his eyes, blinked as he saw Daniel, then took a swig of beer.
"Jack?"
"Welcome home, Dannyboy," Jack said with a laugh.
Daniel put his keys in his pocket and surveyed the area, noticing several empty bottles on the floor around the chair.
"Oh Jack," Daniel spoke softly as he walked to his lover and kneeled down in front of him.
"I love you, Jack," Daniel took Jack's left hand and kissed it.
"You died ... again," Jack whispered.
"I know ... Sam told me. I'm home now, Babe," standing again, "Let's go to bed."
"Your head went rolling on the floor, sparking all over the place they said. Just rolling ... rolling ... rolling ... move 'em up, head 'em out, Rawhide."
"Jack?"
"Just a song," Jack took another drink.
"Jack, that's enough," Daniel reached for the bottle, but Jack pushed him back, standing up quickly.
He wobbled a moment and then gained his bearings.
"Jack," Daniel pleaded as he reached out and took his lover's hand again.
"You died, Danny. Gawd, you died again. I can't live through that anymore. Charlie ... I died when he did, and then you brought me back to life. And you died ... and died ... and died ... and now you've died again. Please don't die anymore, Danny."
Daniel took Jack into his arms, and held him tightly. Jack's chin was nestled into Daniel's shoulder, his hands hanging loosely behind Daniel's back.
"Your body was just laying there ... headless. No movement ... just ... there," Jack cried into Daniel's embrace, as the beer bottle he had been holding dropped to the ground, the liquid draining onto the carpet.
"I'm here, Love. Everything's going to be okay."
"When are you coming home, Danny?"
"I'm home now," Daniel tried to reassure, but Jack wasn't convinced, "I need you, Danny. Don't die. Come home to me."
Daniel felt his heart break at his lover's despair. He knew that while the beers were part of the agony Jack was feeling, that one of Jack's biggest fears was losing Daniel again. They didn't talk about all the "deaths" much, but sometimes Daniel would see Jack watching, just watching, and it was more than the playful "watching your six" game they often engaged in, but was almost a fear, afraid that if he turned around that Daniel might disappear forever.
"Come on, Jack. Let's go upstairs."
Daniel helped his lover to their bedroom, changing his clothes and getting him safely into bed. Daniel put on his pajamas and got into his side of the bed. Jack had uncharacteristically laid on his right side, so Daniel spooned up next to him, kissing the top of his back, and protectively putting his arm around him. Jack often did this for Daniel, but it was rare that Daniel was able to comfort his soul mate in this way.
After an hour or so of holding Jack but not being able to sleep, Daniel got up and retrieved his laptop. He tapped into the SGC computer, using Jack's sign on, and read Jack's mission report.
"Poor Harlan," Daniel sighed, wondering what would become of their synthetic friend.
But Daniel didn't have much time to ponder Harlan's fate as Jack began to thrash about, moaning, uttering broken words and partial sentences. Daniel knew it was a nightmare. Both he and Jack suffered from the haunting of their past, and this nightmare was not unexpected.
Quickly, he moved the laptop off the bed, and was about to try and calm his lover when the nightmare jumped in intensity.
"NO! DANIEL! DON'T DIE! DANNNIELLLLLLLL!"
"Jack," Daniel carefully tried to tend to his love without being slugged, something the younger man always had to watch for because of Jack's Special Forces training.
"Jack, it's okay. Wake up, Love. I'm right here," Daniel said, running his hands along his lover's back, arms, and hair, and talking as soothingly as possible.
"Danny," Jack panted as he woke from his nightmare, breathing hard and sweating.
"Right here," Daniel spoke softly, scooping Jack into him, his head leaning against Daniel's shoulder.
Daniel held on securely. It wasn't often that Jack's nightmares actually caused him to shake, but Daniel felt the trembling on this night.
"I'm alive, Jack. I'm here. We're both safe. Love you so much," Daniel said as he placed a kiss on the head of his lover.
"Gawd Danny. Need you."
"I'm here, Jack. It's okay. Shh," Daniel spoke softly, scooting down on the bed, "Let's go to sleep, Love. Everything's all right."
Jack surprised his lover by shifting, placing his head over Daniel's heart.
"So strong."
"What?"
"Your heartbeat. I need to hear it. Don't let it stop."
Daniel ran his hands along Jack's hair and against his forehead gently.
"Sleep, Jack. I love you."
====
"Danny?"
Jack startled himself awake, finding himself alone in his bed, wondering if he had dreamed Daniel's return, or had hallucinated from being drunk.
"DANIEL!" The yell was panicked, fearful.
"Whoa, Babe ... right here," Daniel entered with a calming smile, holding a tray with some orange juice, fruit and toast ... and a small bowl of Froot Loops.
"I thought ..."
"Jack, I'm sorry," Daniel placed the tray on the bed and leaned over for a quick kiss, "I figured you'd wake up soon and wanted you to have something to eat."
"Oh Danny."
"It's okay."
"What a nightmare. You aren't supposed to be here."
"Where should I be?"
"On P-something-or-another. How?"
Daniel ran his left hand through Jack's silver-gray hair and smiled, "When I checked in last night, Sam told me my Silver Fox needed me, so I came home. It's that simple."
"You left P-whatever-it-is for me?"
"I'd leave anywhere for you, My Love. You know that."
"I love you, Angel."
"Love you, too," Daniel kissed the man who was his heart and then with a mock sternness said, "Now, eat!" moving the tray atop Jack's lap.
"Yes, General," Jack teased, with an uneasiness still in his voice.
Daniel started to move off the bed, but as he did, Jack reached for him, "Please stay, Angel," so Daniel smiled and motioned for his lover to eat.
"What's in this stuff," Jack asked as he drank the orange juice.
"You don't want to know, but it'll help with your hangover."
Jack nibbled at his food, but none were what he really needed. Without warning, he moved the tray to Daniel's side of the bed, not caring if the items soiled the area. He leaned up and kissed his heart, both of them moaning from the kiss, a kiss that ignited them both.
"Jack," Daniel gasped at the moment he finally was able to breathe again, "I love you."
Jack pulled Daniel to him and settled back into a prone position, Daniel atop him, their hands roaming each other's body.
"Love you, Danny," Jack gasped, "Please don't ever die again."
As they kissed, the hunger soared. They were noisy as they kissed and fondled. So lost in the moment, Daniel was totally surprised when Jack flipped them over.
"How'd you do that?" he asked in amazement as he found himself on the bottom and Jack devouring his mouth from atop him.
"Motivation," Jack answered, ravishing Daniel some more, the Froot Loops having scattered all over the bed from the transition of the lover's bodies.
The kisses were powerful. Jack couldn't seem to stop kissing his lover, their tongues flicking about as if on fire. Their lips sucked and their teeth nipped, while sighs and moans escaped from their throats.
"Love you," Jack rasped again, in between his sucking of Daniel's tongue.
With his left hand, Jack pulled out Daniel's tucked in shirt, running his hand along his lover's skin, pressing against it, needing the touch desperately ... and still, he never stopped the kisses.
Daniel worked to take off Jack's pajama top, managing to get the top unbuttoned and off Jack's right arm, but he had a slight problem with Jack's left arm which was occupied ... unbuttoning and unzipping Daniel's jeans, and then stroking his lover's hard length. Daniel didn't really want to interfere with that so he let the flannel fabric drop, hanging to their side.
Their mouths were clinging to each others, their lips swelling from the constant contact. Their bodies were beginning to rock into each other, seeking more intimate contact.
Daniel's hands caressed Jack's lower back, and then swiftly pulled down the pajama bottoms as far as he could from where he laid. Jack arched a little to allow them to scoot down ... and still, they kissed, their tongues dancing wildly, each exploring every crevice of the other's mouth.
Jack's hand stroked Daniel's shaft quickly and powerfully. Daniel was moaning louder, the pressing touches of his lover's hand sending tingles and shivers through his willing body.
Jack moved a little and Daniel lifted himself just a bit to allow Jack to lower Daniel's jeans and boxers down to his knees, which was as far as they could go without separating their lips, something neither seemed prepared to do at the moment.
Jack's hand stroked Daniel up and down, the tips of his fingers squeezing occasionally. He increased the speed, working his lover's shaft as he continued the kisses.
"Jack ... geez ... love you!"
Daniel wasn't sure how he managed to say all that with Jack's tongue still in his mouth, but somehow he had. His hands were moving smoothly along Jack's lower back and buttocks, pinching lightly now and then, squeezing, pushing Jack into him.
At the same time, he was lost in the feel of Jack, the power of their kisses unlike anything they'd ever experienced before. Jack continued to massage his lover's length, faster, firmer, taking Daniel to the point of no return.
"Gawd," Daniel panted into Jack's mouth, having come into Jack's left hand.
"Love you, Angel," Jack breathed softly, moving his body even closer, never parting their mouths.
"Want you ... so much," Jack whispered, a desperation to his voice, in between kisses.
He nibbled on Daniel's upper lip and Daniel's head rose slightly as if by doing so he could reach deeper into Jack's mouth, his tongue gliding along Jack's teeth, still moaning.
Jack reached under his pillow, the one Daniel's head was against, and pulled out the lube. Without hesitating, he put an ample amount on his fingers and quickly prepared his lover. They waisted no time.
Jack had shifted again out of necessity, but he found he needed Daniel's lips, so he moved up for more kisses, and they both clung together, scrunching their bodies into each other. They made themselves into a tight ball, their bodies curving and arching however necessary to give them the contact they so urgently desired.
Jack entered Daniel, holding still as they kissed. They had never quite done it this way before. It was a bit of a challenge, but they twisted their bodies until they could do what they wanted to.
Slowly and evenly, Jack moved back and forward inside his love, making gentle contact with Daniel's most sensitive areas.
The moans increased with their labored breaths.
"Need you ... never ... never leave," Jack seemed to beg.
"Love you Jack ... not ... going ... anywhere," Daniel responded in between the kisses of their lovemaking, his length hardened again from the intensity of their union and his love and need for Jack.
"Hmm ... geez," Jack picked up the pace, Daniel's legs mingled in with Jack's body, clinging to him as they jammed their bodies together in a fusion that could look like a modern work of art.
"Please ... don't ... don't ... die," Jack begged, his hammering against Daniel's prostate exploding inside the younger man, the sparks filling him with pleasure as he continued on.
Kissing Daniel again possessively, their tongues desperate to battle just as Jack's length was doing inside Daniel, Jack whispered, "Mine ... all mine."
"Yes ... yours," Daniel panted, "only yours ... love you ... just you."
"Don't die," the sweat rolled off Jack's brow, mixing in with the tears that fell onto the younger man, before another kiss combined with a powerful lunge inside Daniel.
"Won't ... love you ... life ... you're mine," Daniel sobbed, lost in the overwhelming emotions of lust, despair, and happiness, one hand working his shaft as he drifted with Jack inside him.
The feelings seemed to conflict, but they were powerful.
"Mine!"
"Yes ... yours."
The panting and labored breathing threatened to cause both to be unable to speak, and yet, their tongues still licked, tasted, and nibbled on each other. Brief unions of their mouths, their lips almost bruised from the constant intense contact.
"Live ... gawd Danny, live. Please don't die," Jack was at the end, about to be drained of all the trauma of the last two days ... and the pleasure of the last half-hour with his lover.
"Won't ... with you ... forever," Daniel gasped as he came again in his hand, just as Jack exploded with his own completion.
"Love you," Jack squealed as he gave a final hard thrust into Daniel, his orgasm causing him to collapse down onto Daniel's chest, both trembling, and Jack convulsing from the harmonies of their bodies.
Daniel had tears rolling down his face, as did Jack. The younger man sniffled as he placed his arms around his soul mate, making soft strokes of love on his back, his hands reaching up to stroke Jack's soaked hair.
"I love you, Jack. You're my life. Not going anywhere without you ... not ever," Daniel said with a cracked voice.
"Heartbeat ... so strong, Danny."
"For you, My Love ... because of you and for you ... always."
"Love you so friggin' much, Daniel."
They held each, not letting go, for the next hour. Neither moved, Jack listening to the sound of his lover's heart, and Daniel doing nothing but running his finger's through Jack's hair.
Finally, Jack let out a small sniffle and looked up at Daniel. He moved his hand to Daniel's cheek and smiled, "Do you have any idea?"
Daniel nodded, "A little. Do you?"
"Some."
The tears were still falling as they talked about the enormity of their love, and Jack decided it was his turn to do some comforting. The breakfast tray was a lost cause, as were their comforter and sheets, so Jack just tossed what wasn't already off the bed, off, and moved over on his back, and pulled Daniel up to him, allowing Daniel to nestle in his accustomed place on Jack's body.
Daniel sighed as he settled in.
"I thought you might like that."
"Hmm. My Jack pillow. It's the bestest ever invented."
"I got scared, Danny. I don't know why. I missed the check in. I hadn't heard your voice ... and then Harlan ... and the clone me. I couldn't get his words, spoken in my voice, saying 'our Daniel is dead' out of my mind. Like a recording, it played over and over in my mind. And then I saw it ... gawd, Danny, it was just sitting there in a corner ... your head ... sitting there."
"It wasn't me, Love."
"But it was. Crap, Danny. They were us. They died like we would have. They were brave and they ... they sacrificed themselves ... for us and for the people of that planet. They were ... real."
"Jack?"
"Yes, Angel?"
"I love you."
"I love you, too, Danny."
"Jack?"
"Hmmm?"
"Forever and always, together ... you and I."
"Yeah, forever, we're unbeatable together."
"What's going to happen to Harlan?"
"I don't know. He loved ... us," Jack sadly chuckled.
"He needs help, Jack."
"No more clones, Danny. Danny ... I can't ... I can't watch you die again, not even as a clone."
"Not going without you, Jack. You're my comfy pillow, remember?"
"Oh yeah ... can't have you without your pillow."
"My Jack pillow -- keeps me warm, safe and comfy."
"I try," Jack whispered, completely serious.
Daniel moved, lifting his head up to look into Jack's chocolate brown eyes. He took his right hand and traced his lover's face, and placed a short, tender kiss on Jack's lips.
"You do, Jack. Every day ... your eyes warm me with love, your arms hold me with strength, and your heart comforts me with life."
Daniel's fingers traced Jack's lips, and Jack kissed the slender digits as they moved gently across.
"Thank you for coming back early, Danny. How'd you explain that anyway?"
"I'm a genius, Love. I thought of something."
"I know that ... but what exactly did you think of?"
Daniel smiled, "I told Colonel Hendricks about that time you loaned me out to SG-11 and I got sick and how you had Major Michaelson transferred to Elmendorf ... and then I told him about that time with SG-8 when that gregirk creature broke my ribs and how you broke the leader of SG-8's ribs ... and then I told him about that time ..."
"Daniel, I never had Michaelson transferred. He retired after that mission, and the thing with Manotti was an accident during training."
Daniel grinned, "I know that, Babe .... but Hendricks doesn't."
"My genius."
"The mission was over, Jack. Everything had gone off perfectly, ahead of schedule even. I wasn't needed there, but I was needed here, so ... I came home."
Jack's hand raised to caress Daniel's cheek, "You're always needed, Angel. Thank you."
"For what?"
"Everything, Love ... everything."
Daniel rested his head against Jack's chest again. Their tears had dried, and Jack was better.
"Danny, if you want, I'll talk to Hammond and see if we can contact Harlan and figure something out ... but ... we're not going back there. I don't trust him."
"Thank you, Jack. I don't want him to be alone. No one should be alone."
A few minutes passed as they continued to enjoy the feel of each other, and the life flowing through their bodies.
"Jack?"
"Yes, Love?"
"You're such an ingrate!"
"Huh?"
"I went to all that trouble to get up early and make you breakfast in bed, and you barely touched it ... and now it's ...," Daniel laughed, "all over the floor."
"Oops," Jack chuckled, "I'm sorry. I was ... more hungry for you."
"I ... saw that."
"You can try again. I'll stay here and wait."
"I don't think so. Too sticky."
"I love you sticky ... and sweaty, too."
"Gawd, at least I can't get pregnant. If you had your way, I'd be barefoot and in the kitchen, having babies," Daniel laughed loudly.
"What an image!"
"Awful. Geez ... nightmare."
"No ... beautiful picture."
"You've lost your mind. I knew it would happen eventually."
Jack laughed, but he smiled as he thought silently about his love for his soul mate, his need and want for him stronger than anything he had ever felt before. On some level, he had to admit Daniel was right. If there could be a way ... Jack halted his thinking. Charlie's death was too engraved in his mind. He was sure he'd never get beyond that, but if he ever did, it would be Daniel who would get him there.
"Jack, you're too quiet. What are you thinking about?"
"You, barefoot and pregnant, bringing me my dinner and my slippers."
"Not on your life, Colonel."
"PMS?"
"Jack, you are so dead," Daniel moved to swat his lover lightly, but Jack darted, trying to get up out of the bed, but then Daniel grabbed him by the waist and pulled him back down.
Both laughed wildly as they kissed ... and kissed ... and ... well, you get the idea ... they kissed the rest of the day away. They ate ... eventually ... but mostly, they feasted on each other, helping each other to smile and laugh, feel safe and warm ... and mostly they reassured each other that Jack and Daniel are forever and always, their love strong and growing with each passing day!
~~Finis - Finished - Done - The End - But is it ever Really?~~