Who Failed Light?
Disclaimer: I don't own DDR or any of the songs from it.
One day, a 45-year-old man was playing some old arcade games from the 1980's, like Galaga, Centipede, and Pac-Man. He was playing the 4th level of Pac-Man when he heard the words "Dance Dance Revolution" from a machine across the arcade. A crowd of people were standing around the machine. Two kids put in their 4 tokens and began to play. They both picked the Light difficulty level. Their first song was Butterfly on Light, which is a 3 footer. But halfway through the song, they failed because they missed too many arrows. The man thought, "That song looked easy. I could have passed it." He had played DDR before with his 17 year old son, mostly on Light. However, he weighed almost 250 pounds and couldn't do songs with a lot of jumps.
The next player was a 17 year old boy named Brennan. He put in his tokens quickly and selected Heavy mode. The first song was Memories, which is an 8-footer on Heavy. He put the song on a 1.5x speed mod. Brennan hardly missed any arrows and had a 150 combo at the end of the song. "Look at all those complicated steps," the man thought to himself, "I could never pass that." The results screen came up, which showed an A. "I finally A'd that song," Brennan said. He played 1998 for his 2nd stage and received another A. Everyone in the arcade was saying, "Do a 10-footer, Do a 10-footer!"
Brennan selected bag for his final stage. He has never passed this or any other 10-footers. To make it easier, he used a 3x speed mod. Bag is a very slow song at 65 beats per minute. The steps are full of 32nd notes, which make it nearly impossible to read. The song started, and Brennan was doing average, missing a few steps. Because of the speed mods, he was able to pass with a C. "I finally passed a 10 footer," he said. After Brennan left, nobody else was playing, so the 45-year-old man decided to play DDR. He put in his tokens, then selected Light mode. He picked the song "B4U", which is a 4-footer on light. The music starts and he misses many steps. Miss, Boo, Great, Good, Miss, Miss, Miss. His life bar rapidly descended.
Then the song reached an easy part with no jumps and he recovered some of his life bar. He thought to himself, "I should have picked a 3-footer instead." At the end of the song, eighth notes show up and he fails. The "Failed" screen comes up and then the results screen, which shows an E. All the standard and heavy level players in the arcade started laughing at him and singing, "Who, who, who, who failed light?" to the beat of B4U. They told everyone about it, and when he went to his son's high school everyone said "Who failed light?" You should play something you can't pass on the first stage.