This was written for the February prompt, to write a meet-cute for Georg and Maria. I honestly have no idea how long it will go, I can only promise there will be at least one more. After that, it really is anyone's guess. This is really different, totally modern and totally AU and pretty much a crackfic. Still, you should be able to see quite a bit of TSOM in there. Squint your eyes, tilt your head, hold your breath, whatever it takes...

I'm dedicating this story to gothicbutterfly95; I failed in an epic way to give her a story for the exchange. I'm not sure she'd be into this kind of story, but if it amuses, gothicbutterfly95, this story is for you.

Maria Rainer flew into the kitchen but pulled up short when she found her sister sitting calmly at the table with a glass of wine, flipping through a magazine. She looked at the clock over the sink in defeat. It was much later than she thought and it was clear her brother-in-law and nieces had already eaten dinner and cleaned up.

"Don't just stand there," Abigail said wearily, standing and waving at a chair. "I saved you some food." Maria dropped into a chair and said nothing, simply watched as she pulled a plate out of the oven and placed it in front of her. "The plate's hot."

Maria sucked her teeth and rolled her eyes. "Maria not touch... plate hot. Hot baaaaaad." She ducked her head at her sister's scowl, bowed her head, whispered a quick grace and tucked in. She swallowed and looked up, feeling her sister's eyes on her. "I'm sorry."

"Where have you been?"

"Oh, you know," Maria said dismissively, lifting a smaller bite to her mouth. She chewed slowly.

"No," Abigail replied. "I don't know. I thought maybe you went to the animal shelter to help out, but Sophia hasn't seen you for days. I called all your friends, checked all the usual places. No Maria."

"Maybe you should have tried the unusual places," Maria laughed, causing her sister to finally crack a smile.

"Or maybe I could just tie a cowbell around your neck," she shot back in amusement before releasing a frustrated sigh. "This isn't funny, Maria. Tell me." Maria's shrugged as the fork dropped to the plate.

"I just went for a walk, that's all." Abigail continued to look at her skeptically. "I did! It was a beautiful day and I just wanted to enjoy it, you know? The sky was so blue, everything else was so green..."

"None of which explains why you didn't have your phone with you. You could have been hurt or lost, then what would you do? I can see it now. You, dead in a ditch and me losing my mind."

Maria frowned, picked up her fork and tried to eat again. Ever since their parents died when Maria was young, Abigail's sisterly concern shifted to constant maternal fussing, like it was her job. She was always giving advice about everything and always trying to keep her out of trouble, prompting Maria to give her the nickname 'Mother Abby'. "You worry too much. I'm a grown woman."

Abigail smiled at her with affection. "Yes, that's true. Which is why you need to hear what I am going to say." She took a deep breath and leaned closer. "I love you. I want to see you happy."

"I am happy! Are you kidding? I'm the happiest person you know! I'm the happiest person I know!"

"Yes," Abigail mumbled. She tilted her head in thought, trying to come at the topic from a different angle. "What do you want, Maria? From life, I mean. What is your heart's desire?"

Maria sat back at the question. "Well, I... I don't know. I have everything I want. I have a home and family. What else could a person need?" Her face fell. "Did Frank say he wants me to go?"

"Oh no! No, Maria! Frank loves having you here," her sister insisted as she reached out and put her hand on her arm. "The girl's love you, too! We will always be your family, but... you need other people in your life, too. You need to meet different kinds of people, discover what you want to do, who you really are. Figure out your calling. Don't you long for adventure?"

"I suppose," Maria said lightly. "But I always thought I belong here."

Abigail shook her head. "There is so much more for you, my dear sister. Maybe someone special, your own family one day... you have so much to give the world and you're wasting it all by hanging around here."

"It sounds like you're trying to get rid of me," Maria muttered before shoving the last bite in her mouth and standing and taking her plate to the sink.

"Never," Abigail shook her head. "I'm always here for you. But something has to change, Maria, and I only want to help." She watched her sister flit between the pantry and the refrigerator for an apple, a jar of peanut butter and carton of milk that was nearly empty. "Maria?" Maria tucked everything under her arm and headed toward the stairs. "Maria!"

"What? I'm still hungry," Maria smiled, then her shoulders dropped and she gave her sister a loving but tired smile. "Look, if you think something has to change, then go ahead and change it. I'll be in my room."

Abigail sighed. She had to admit it was the longest she had been able to get Maria to stay and listen to anything she had to say. Still, the girl was impossible! It wasn't so much that she was lazy or lacked ambition. She was the first person to pitch in or lend a hand. The problem with Maria was that she wouldn't dare to dream of her own future beyond what she had. She was blissfully content, but it pained Abigail to see someone with such a bold and wild spirit just... settle.

Enough was enough. Maria practically dared her to do something about it and even though she wouldn't like it, the girl needed a good shove out into the world to see that her future was not living the life of a nun in her sister's house.

Abigail poured herself some more wine, smoothed the skirt of her dress and made her way to the living room where her laptop sat on the coffee table. A minute later she was staring at the blinking cursor in the browser just waiting...

"Ok, Maria," she said as she glanced around to make sure she was alone. "Change and adventure, coming right up." Her fingers flew across the keys before she could chicken out.

FindSomeoneNow dot com

She tossed back the rest of the wine. Creating a profile on a dating website wasn't a shove. Maria would more likely see it as a drop kick off a cliff.

M&G&M&G&M&G

Max Detweiler swirled the ice around in his drink while flipping through his phone, waiting patiently for the housekeeper to finish dressing down his friend.

"I'm telling you, Captain, you'll be looking for a new housekeeper and cook as well as a new nanny if you don't find someone to mind those children soon," the irate woman warned for the third time that day.

"Frau Schmidt, I assure you, I've called and expect the name of our new nanny by afternoon," Georg answered slowly to calm the housekeeper down. He stood from behind the large library desk, gradually making his way to the door. "Now, please tell cook the good news, hmm?" The housekeeper made her way briskly by him but stopped before leaving.

"Captain, I don't mean to be insensitive to your grief. I adore your children, I've known them since they were born." The older woman lowered her voice and looked at him with what he thought was pity. "But the poor dears don't need a nanny, they need a mother. And their father."

"They had a mother," he answered evenly.

"They still have a father," she nodded and then turned to leave. Georg pondered her words as he closed the door behind her and then quickly turned back to his friend.

"I don't know what I'm going to do, Max," he said as he paced back and forth. "Where am I going to find a nanny by this afternoon?

"I thought you said-"

"I lied," Georg muttered. "Well, I didn't lie exactly, I did call all the agency but they hung up on me. In fact, all the agencies I've used in the past refused to help me."

Max gave a small laugh. "Good lord, exactly how many of their nannies have your darlings driven to early retirement?" Georg scowled.

"Ten," he answered begrudgingly, then he winced. "Eleven, if you count the the last one, she left after two hours. I don't know what to do."

"Maybe Frau Schmidt is right, maybe you should consider finding them a new mother." Max held up his hands defensively. "Now, now, Georg, before you get all bent out of shape, hear me out. I'm not suggesting that you forget Agathe or what she meant to you. I wouldn't and you couldn't. But for the sake of your children, can't you at least consider finding someone? I'm not talking about a grand love affair, but someone you can get along with, keep you from wallowing in perpetual loneliness. I mean, you'll always have me but my charms only go so far, you know."

Georg ran his hand across his face. "What do you suggest? How does one go about meeting women who are hoping to meet a man with seven wild children and nothing to offer except warm fondness?"

"No, that's not a very good pick-up line for a party," his friend smirked. "But that kind of bluntness might work online." Georg let out a shocked laugh.

"You did not just suggest I try one of those online dating things." Georg shook his head dismissively. "I'm not looking for a wife anyway. I need a nanny."

"You can find them online, too. Everything is done online. Banking, shopping... you name it."

"Fine, fine, I'm desperate." Georg moved to the computer on his desk and moved the mouse to bring it to life. "Uh, so how do I do this?" Max shook his head in amusement which only exasperated Georg more. "Fine, genius, you are so internet savvy, why don't you come here and show me how easy it is!"

Max heaved a sigh and moved toward the desk, waving Georg out of his chair. "Honestly, it's not like I have a clue where to start looking for domestic help. Nannies4U dot com? RugRatRanglers dot net?" At that moment a loud crash could be heard from somewhere outside the library door followed by a loud screech and what sounded like Louisa hollering that something, a creepy crawly something no doubt, got away.

"I don't care, just find someone now!"

Max muttered as he began to type. "Fine. You got it. FindSomeoneNow dot com..." He ceremoniously raised his index finger and hit the 'enter' key. He squinted as the page loaded, more than surprised that the site actually existed. The screen asked if he was looking for someone male or female. "Uh, hold on..."

Georg peered quickly over his friend's shoulder. "Well, female, of course. Not that I'm prejudiced. Just old fashioned."

"You don't say," Max mumbled to himself. "But, Georg, this is not-"

"Please, Max, for once in your life, be helpful." Georg returned to pacing. "So, anything?"

Max sighed and continued on with the website. If his oldest and dearest friend didn't want to know that they had unwittingly stumbled on a dating website, so be it. He'd enjoy the joke for a while and let him off the hook before it got too far. "Ok, here's one. Maria Rainer, age 22... ah, a local girl." Once again, Georg crouched over his shoulder to have a look.

"Hmmm, she's awfully young," Georg said doubtfully. "Then again, the veterans I've hired in the past weren't exactly up to the task. Perhaps youth would be an advantage."

"Sure, sure," Max agreed. "She's pretty, too." Georg looked at the profile picture again.

"I suppose," he mused. "What does it say about her?"

"Let's see," Max scrolled down a bit. "It says here that she likes daffodils, green meadows, skies full of stars..."

"What? I'm talking about her qualifications."

"Oh, well, not much I'm afraid," Max said, bracing himself to finally admit the truth, that he's been wasting his friend's time for the last few minutes. Suddenly another loud bang and a child's piercing cry rang throughout the house. Suddenly honesty seemed like a very bad idea. "It looks like there are children in her profile picture. Cropped out, of course, but I would say the are children. The, uh, tops of their heads seem... happy."

"Well, it's not much. Maybe we should try the next-"

"Captain!" The door flew open and a frazzled housekeeper marched straight to his desk and deposited the latest victim of his children's pranks, a broken planter with a rather sad looking ficus. "I do believe we have reached critical mass."

"I told you I found someone, didn't I? I'll get her here as soon as I hear from her today."

The harried woman stepped closer, her eyes bulging and her jaw clenched tightly. "A name, Captain. I want a name so I know you aren't just trying to brush the matter off."

"Now, Frau Schmidt," Georg raised his hand defensively. "I told you I found someone and-"

"A name!"

"Fine, fine! Uh," he quickly looked at the computer screen and then turned back with a smile. "Rainer. Maria Rainer. Local girl, quite lovely. The outdoors-y type, you'll love her."

"Wonderful," Frau Schmidt said as she exhaled. "I look forward to meeting her very soon." And with that she turned on her heels and marched back out.

"Uh, Frau Schmidt, you forgot-" The door slammed behind her. "- the plant." Georg looked at the mess and sighed. "Well, that's that. How do I contact this person and beg her to come?"

"Georg, I have to tell you-"

"There! Her email address! Move, Max. I can do this part myself." Georg gave his friend a shove and dropped into the chair and started to click away. He sat back and stared at the blank email screen. "How do I sound desperate and not scare her away?"

"Georg, just wait, there's something you don't know," Max begged. "This site is-"

"A godsend," Georg said with a smile. "How about this; Dear Fraulein, I found your profile today. I have been searching for a long time and am quite positive that you are the one I need. Your inexperience is admittedly cause for some concern but I believe your youth coupled with the discipline I bring from my military back ground holds amazing possibility for success. I'm certainly willing to give it a try. I look forward to hearing from you soon, in fact the sooner the better."

He looked up to see his friend pinching the bridge of his nose. "Oh, my friend..."

"Should I mention compensation in the email or-"

"NO!" Max cried out. "No, you should definitely leave that part out."

"Ok, then I'll send it...," he hit the send button and smiled, breathing a sigh of relief. "There. All I need to do is wait to hear back."

Max turned with a groan. "And all I need is another drink."

TBC (because I am pretty sure they need to actually meet in a meet-cute)...