Marshall,
I am insanely, deeply, madly in love with you. However, you don't want me. You are insanely, deeply, madly in love with her. I don't blame you, because if I were you I would love her too. She's not broken, not like I am. So because I am insanely, deeply, madly in love with you and you are insanely, deeply, madly in love with her, I'm leaving. I can't stand the pain I feel when you talk about her and your face lights up and all I want to do is cry. I do cry sometimes, you know. I'm only human.
Before you ask me not to go, know that I need to. I'm only sixteen Marsh. I don't know how to love someone who doesn't love me. I don't know how to want someone and channel that feeling at someone else. I don't know how to need someone who isn't you. But I need to figure it out. Please don't ask me to stay because we both know that I would.
There was a night about a week ago that I want you to know about. It was dark and rainy and Cake was mad at me for some reason. I cried myself to sleep only wanting for you to tell me that I was a good person, someone worth knowing and loving. You are, were, my two a.m. thought when I couldn't sleep, unable to dream of anyone else. All I wanted was for you to hold me close while across town you were pulling her into your arms, holding her against your chest, whispering that you needed her to mend your broken heart and wash away your ugly thoughts. I want to be that person to you, and you to I, but I can see now that you'll never need me that way.
I love you so hard, it blinds my vision. The rest of the world is a wash of gray and brown but you sparkle so brightly and in such dazzling, dizzying colors. I hope and pray that she sees you the same way. You deserve it Marshall. You are someone who deserves to be loved like that. You've earned it.
It's now four a.m. on the day that I'm leaving. I'm going on a new adventure and going to have to stay behind this time. I've put you before myself so many times. Please let me go without a fight. Please don't forget me or that I love you, okay? I'll miss you.
Forever yours,
Fionna